Robodl95
27th Nov 2010, 3:59 AM
So I'm working on a funny retelling of Red Riding-hood for a contest but it's for school and this twist was just totally not school appropriate :rofl: I hope you get a good laugh from it :smt003 I promise that you'll never look at Grammy the same!
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After fighting past perverted wolves, wicked witches and sparkly vampires I finally made it! Who knew that the woods were filled with so many weirdos? Momma told me today that grandma was recovering from a surgery so we went to the store to pick out some ginger snaps, her favorites.
“Who’s there?”
“Grammy it’s me Little Red! Who else would bring cookies to the most awesome grandmother in the world? ”
“ Don’t come in! You can leave the cookies on the step and I’ll get them later.”
“Grammy is something wrong?”
“Well I was expecting another… guest who will be here soon”
“The doctor?”
“Umm… yes.”
“Oh silly Grammy! I’m as good as any doctor, I’m coming in.”
“No that’s really not necessary! Stop!” Boy I wish that I had listened….
“Grammy why are you so covered up? Where does it hurt?” Then I peeled back the covers and my eyes widened to the size of Snooki’s pouf.
“Little Red I am fine! Now go home!”
“But Grandmother what skimpy underwear you have!” I said being disgusted but concerned at the same time. You just should NOT wear certain articles of clothing past a certain age…
“ All the more comfortable to sleep in my child”
“And grandmother what big baloombas you have!” Is this the surgery that she had?
“All the better to get your attention with my child.”
“Well what’s your explanation for the hundred dollar bill on the night-stand?”
“That is… your Christmas present! See I wrapping your present and that’s why I didn’t want you to come in, I’m fine so you can go now! Merry Christmas dear.”
“But why are you in your underwear? And why did you get a boob-job?”
Knock Knock “Hello? Someone called for my services?” Yep… the morale of this story is that you should never EVER walk into your grandmother’s home uninvited. You never know what dirt you might find....
The End
_________________________________________________________________________________
After fighting past perverted wolves, wicked witches and sparkly vampires I finally made it! Who knew that the woods were filled with so many weirdos? Momma told me today that grandma was recovering from a surgery so we went to the store to pick out some ginger snaps, her favorites.
“Who’s there?”
“Grammy it’s me Little Red! Who else would bring cookies to the most awesome grandmother in the world? ”
“ Don’t come in! You can leave the cookies on the step and I’ll get them later.”
“Grammy is something wrong?”
“Well I was expecting another… guest who will be here soon”
“The doctor?”
“Umm… yes.”
“Oh silly Grammy! I’m as good as any doctor, I’m coming in.”
“No that’s really not necessary! Stop!” Boy I wish that I had listened….
“Grammy why are you so covered up? Where does it hurt?” Then I peeled back the covers and my eyes widened to the size of Snooki’s pouf.
“Little Red I am fine! Now go home!”
“But Grandmother what skimpy underwear you have!” I said being disgusted but concerned at the same time. You just should NOT wear certain articles of clothing past a certain age…
“ All the more comfortable to sleep in my child”
“And grandmother what big baloombas you have!” Is this the surgery that she had?
“All the better to get your attention with my child.”
“Well what’s your explanation for the hundred dollar bill on the night-stand?”
“That is… your Christmas present! See I wrapping your present and that’s why I didn’t want you to come in, I’m fine so you can go now! Merry Christmas dear.”
“But why are you in your underwear? And why did you get a boob-job?”
Knock Knock “Hello? Someone called for my services?” Yep… the morale of this story is that you should never EVER walk into your grandmother’s home uninvited. You never know what dirt you might find....
The End