Moms dressing like their teen daughters? Problem or Not?

[SimsLover50]

There is an article on CNN about a 14 year old girl who was outraged her mom (43), bought a top at her favorite store. Thus ensued an interesting debate about adult women shopping at stores geared for juniors.

The article then cites a study that moms are turning into consumer doppelgangers of their children shopping in teen stores so as to mimic the identities of their teenage daughters.

This sparked a healthy debate as to whether women should 'act their age' (grr) or whether women want these styles for various reasons verging from taking a shortcut to look 'cool and hip, or whether women are 'feeling younger and want to project their personality with clothing'

A psychologist chimes in and states that the mom's desire to wear juniors style clothing says this activity fosters a sense of competition with the daughter, and that it gives the teen girl an unfortuante message about how mom feels about herself, her age and insecurities and that she is not comfortable getting older'

What are your thoughts on this issue?

Here are my thoughts-

Do you think its ok for mom's to shop in junior's stores?
Do you think a teen girl should dictate that her mom shouldn't buy a tank at her favorite store?
Is there 'age appropriate' clothing anymore?
Is society overly critical about the way women dress?
Should people dress appropriately as befiting their age, and who decides what is appropriate?
Do you consider moms shopping at juniors stores a mother being competitive or just liking the style?
Do you think agree with the psychologists, that the boundaries between the 'adult world' and teen world should be respected?

I personally don't object, to mom's shopping at juniors stores. I think people should be able to wear what they want, but I'm curious what others think.

[Sparklycookie]

One thing's for certain- If you are over a size 10, do NOT wear boob tubes/tube tops. They do not look attractive.

[maxon]

Should people dress appropriately as befitting their age, and who decides what is appropriate?
Ha! Interesting. I think this is probably the key question. I think if anyone tried to tell me what clothes were appropriate for my age, the answer would comprise two words beginning with F and O.

[missy harries]

Well I experianced this in my teen years, me and my mum have two very diffrent styles but she has always dressed young, she has copied me a few times whether my make up or when I've dyed my hair and sometimes fashion. I didn't really mind but people did think I was following my mum when in fact she was following me and it would gripe me because I'd get the 'Bless, just like her mum.' Grrrrrrrr. The plus side was we got to borrow each others clothes and I don't think it's harmfull for mums to shop at teen outlets if they wan't, I mean hey they're probally starting to feel old now that they're little girl is grown up and need the boost........ Who are we to tell them otherwise, dictate that they can't and they end up feeling bad :P

Sometimes though I do think women should dress a bit more discreetly, I mean I've seen some mutton dressed as lamb if ya know what I mean, 50+ wearing short skirts and strappy tops 'oh, god I'm blind!' But if they're happy go for it.

People will always be critical and women are competative with one another mums and teens included.
I suppose it just comes down to whether you give a shit about anyone elses opinion of you or not.

[SimsLover50]

Ha! Interesting. I think this is probably the key question. I think if anyone tried to tell me what clothes were appropriate for my age, the answer would comprise two words beginning with F and O.

Hah! I agree. IT seems like people are always trying to control how women appear and act- however, this article sparked a lot of debate mostly between people who felt women should 'act their age' and those who felt women should be 'free to do as they please.'

What is age appropriate now adays? A lot of teen faction is simply adult stuff in smaller sizes. One of the writers suggested that teens should look 'cute' but adults should look sophisticated. But whats that supposed to mean? And why only women. LOL. I don't know many adult guys who look sophisticated either.

[Oaktree]

I'm going to assume that you are referring to the sexualized clothing that teenage girls often wear. I don't think there is anything wrong with older women dressing sexily, though I think that the type of 'sexy' clothing that teens and young adults often wear is more provocative than it is truly enticing and that it often relies on showing lots of skin, which may not be a strong point for an older woman. I don't think that there is anything wrong with someone dressing however they want to (though I think that businesses and the like are within their rights to set a dress code). But I do think that good taste dictates that older women not wear much of the type of clothing that younger women often wear.

As to being harmful - no I don't think it is. Teenage girls don't always emulate their mothers, and may, in fact, try very hard to not be like their mothers. People are typically more influenced by their peers than they are by their families, so mom looking a little desperate isn't likely to be extremely damaging to a teenage girl - particularly since she probably already has some sense of how she feels about herself by that point of her life, anyway. Yes, a person's self-esteem can change for better or worse, but the things that a person values that make him/her feel good about him/herself are probably already pretty well-formed.

No, a teenage girl should have no say in how her mom dresses. She can suggest that perhaps it would be in better taste for mom to wear something else, but mom has final say over what she wears.

Yes, there is age-appropriate clothing. I once saw two pre-teen girls walking through the mall, one wearing a mini-skirt, the other wearing booty shorts. That is not age-appropriate. As to women who have achieved an age at which sexualization is more appropriate, I think age-appropriate is based on how you look in the clothes you wear. A woman with saggy boobs isn't going to look right wearing a top that showcases cleavage, unless she's wearing a great bra that provides good support.

Parts of society are overly-critical about how women dress, but I think there are large swaths of society where it doesn't really matter how the average woman dresses. There are dress codes for businesses and public places, which are critical about how both sexes dress, but where it is appropriate to be critical. As far as fashion goes, it only matters to certain people. Most people don't care what you're wearing, as long as it isn't so gaudy it makes their eyes bleed.

People should dress however they want, but should be aware of what message they send when they wear certain things.

I don't think it is generally competitiveness, though there may be cases where it is. It's probably just a matter of mom wanting to feel sexy, which is a self-esteem booster for many women.

I'm not really sure what this last question even means. I think most of the reason why adults and teens act differently is because of the added wisdom and responsibility that often comes with adulthood, combined with the impression of how society sees each group paired with the desire to fit in. If you don't want to act like an adult, that's your choice, though any poor decisions you make in that state of mind are your responsibility.

[missy harries]

Hah! I agree. IT seems like people are always trying to control how women appear and act- however, this article sparked a lot of debate mostly between people who felt women should 'act their age' and those who felt women should be 'free to do as they please.'

What is age appropriate now adays? A lot of teen faction is simply adult stuff in smaller sizes. One of the writers suggested that teens should look 'cute' but adults should look sophisticated. But whats that supposed to mean? And why only women. LOL. I don't know many adult guys who look sophisticated either.

I think something that needs adressing a lot more than this is GIRLS dressing older. I see it a lot and I'm horrified by it.
Worst one I saw was a girl of 6/7 dressed in a leapord print mini skirt, strappy crop top and knee high boots with heals and the full face makeup and she was with her mother who was almost dressed the same.
Now tell me, Why would a little girl need to dress like that? Why would her mother let her dress like that? and does that not encourage some form of phedophilia?
And everyone is worried bout the mums, its the kids people should worry about.

[Mistermook]

Leaving aside the off-topic attempt to derail the discussion...

Speaking as an older person, I don't see anything particularly wrong in principle with people dressing younger than their age. Until I started going gray in my beard I think people seeing me away from work probably thought I was a lot younger than I was, and if a woman in her 30s or older can pull it off I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Hell, I'm heterosexual enough to enjoy it.

But yeah, if you can't pull it off? Then it's like anything else - if something makes you look bad, or makes you look inappropriate (and teenage girls aren't exactly the go-to people for opinions on this sort of thing) then don't wear it. For me? I'm not subjecting the rest of you to the suffering me wearing shorts and a tank top in public might warrant. I'll wear what I want and what's comfortable around the house, but you don't want to see my armpits and pale, skinny legs right? So I don't want to show them to you. But if someone else can pull it off? More power to them.

[Purity4]

Is society overly critical about the way women dress?


Yes, I do!

[Robodl95]

Do you consider Mom's shopping at juniors store harmful?
Not harmful but maybe a bit strange
Do you think a teen girl should dictate that her mom shouldn't buy a tank at her favorite store?
Depends, teen stores sell some appropriate clothes for older people also. I wouldn't want my mom walking around with a tank plastered with Hollister if that's what you mean
Is there 'age appropriate' clothing anymore?
Yes
Is society overly critical about the way women dress?
Trust me... an old guy trying to dress young and hip is just as bad as the women. But no I don't think so, women have more freedom then men in how they can dress.
Should people dress appropriately as befiting their age, and who decides what is appropriate?
Yes I think that they should and society/employers decide what is appropriate.
Do you consider moms shopping at juniors stores a mother being competitive or just liking the style?
I think they're trying to be cool

It has a lot more to do with your body than age. Skintight clothing and fat doesn't look attractive or professional at any age.

[katy perry]

And this is a problem?

It's good when Mothers dress like their daughters in fact saying it like that makes it sound weird. Older women always miss the days when they were younger and its kind of like they can relive their younger days with their daughters.

- Mothers should shop at whatever store feels right for them
- Nobody should tell anybody what to wear unless it would make them feel happier to dress in a certain way
- Society is very critical about the way people, not just women, dress. I am actually a man who wants to be a woman and dressing as like my lady friends would makes me feel happy but I get laughed at and sneered at by people who are ignorant. I have recently started dressing as a man again so I wouldn't get laughed at but my lady friends say it isn't 'me'.

Simslover please PM me if you want to talk because to me you seem very worried. I'm guessing you have a daughter you want to be friends with as well as a Mother.

[SimsLover50]

And this is a problem?

Simslover please PM me if you want to talk because to me you seem very worried. I'm guessing you have a daughter you want to be friends with as well as a Mother.

Oh, you are very sweet. :D But no... I'm not worried about this at all (beyond my slight feminist disgruntlement). I jutst thought I'd start a debate since I haven't yet. I'm not a mother. I'm actually interested in this topic just because I thought it was kind of fascinating that people would have such diverse views of the way woman should appear. And I'm interested in the topics of women and how they are perceived and yes, I do occasionally shop in the juniors section if I see something I like.

It is very nice of you to be concerned though. It isn't everyday that people are so kind to worry about another and your sense of compassion is touching.

[katy perry]

To be honest anyway, is there a certain way women should 'appear' these days? I was at the pub tonight one of my lady friends is whats called a 'ladette'. She prefers male company you very rarely see her with other women I can assure you she is very naughty and unladylike :) but that's just her I love her to bits she wouldn't be the same if she wasn't like that.

[RoseCity]

I think young fashion is made for young women (I'm middle aged) who want to draw attention to themselves and their assets for some possibly sociological reason like finding a mate or just celebrating their youngness. The young by the very fact of being young look good, and there's no denying it. But I think if an older woman buys her clothes in Forever 21 and they fit, I guess more power to her; it's not a big deal. Maybe it's delusional, and she'd look better in more dignified outfits, but what someone wears is their business.

[katy perry]

May I ask why people disagree with the post I made above?

[SimsLover50]

IDK. I agreed with it, Katy.

[wickedblue]

I think people are way too concerned about how women look. Period.

Whatever her reasons are for dressing the way she does, whether it's because she wants to appear younger, sexier, more desirable, or prefers clothing that covers her from head to toe and matches the wallpaper, her reasons are her business.

With that said, it makes me sad that women still feel like they have to dress in a way that garners the approval of the male gaze just to feel accepted. Unfortunately, when women reach a certain age, we become invisible, so many of us feel like we need to oversexualize our appearance to still be noticed. But I don't judge a woman for that, I judge the system that makes her feel that way.

[SimsLover50]

I think people are way too concerned about how women look. Period.

Unfortunately, when women reach a certain age, we become invisible, so many of us feel like we need to oversexualize our appearance to still be noticed. But I don't judge a woman for that, I judge the system that makes her feel that way.

I do agree with that, wickedblue especially 'women of a certain age.' Our culture is so youth focused that sometimes it is tough for women. Especially since our cultural values often considers youth=beauty.

[Oaktree]

With that said, it makes me sad that women still feel like they have to dress in a way that garners the approval of the male gaze just to feel accepted. Unfortunately, when women reach a certain age, we become invisible, so many of us feel like we need to oversexualize our appearance to still be noticed. But I don't judge a woman for that, I judge the system that makes her feel that way.

I don't think women dressing up to gain the approval of men is a statement about our society so much as it is a statement about our biology. Reproduction is a powerful drive and feeling desirable makes one feel more reproductively successful. Women aren't the only ones who dress for the opposite sex. Many young men wear ridiculous things because they think they'll look cool and they'll get more attention from women. Women wanting to feel attractive is not society victimizing or brainwashing them, it's just a matter of those women wanting to achieve reproductive success, a drive that the majority of us have. And many women wear sexy clothing less to try to attract men and more because they simply feel good wearing it.

[wickedblue]

Individual motivations will vary from person to person. I was speaking of the collective.

I didn't say a damn thing about being victimized or brainwashed. What I said is that women are constantly subjected to the male gaze and that we disappear once we reach a certain age. Because we grow up in that environment, many without even being completely aware of just how deeply we are entrenched in it, will go out of our way to continue to appeal to the male gaze to continue to be visible. Some of us do it without even realizing that is playing a role and some of us do it knowing full well what the game is and resenting it every step of the way but feel powerless to get out of it. Then there's those like me and many others that just don't give a damn about any of it. Male gaze be damned.

This very article that the OP brought up for discussion is itself proof of what I was speaking of. Women are under constant scrutiny for our appearance. Yes, men are also scrutinized but it's not even close to the same thing and if you really paid attention and were being completely honest with yourself, you can't argue that it is. (collective you, not directed at anyone specific)

[Oaktree]

Individual motivations will vary from person to person. I was speaking of the collective.

I didn't say a damn thing about being victimized or brainwashed. What I said is that women are constantly subjected to the male gaze and that we disappear once we reach a certain age.

Women may go off the radar for men looking for sexual partners as they get older, though even that, I doubt. Many older men, granted, not all, but many, would prefer to have a partner of similar age.

As to non-sexual situations, I don't think women disappear at all. In most workplaces, women are judged by how they do the job, not how they look. My mother is in her late 40's and does not meet the media standard of ideal beauty, but she is greatly appreciated at her office because she is one of the most experienced workers they have. Same goes in academia. I have had many female professors that did not meet ideal beauty standards, but were valued by the university for their knowledge and skill. I don't meet the ideal, but I work hard in school and many of my professors value my input in class discussion. Is there some way that you feel marginalized? Because I don't.

Because we grow up in that environment, many without even being completely aware of just how deeply we are entrenched in it, will go out of our way to continue to appeal to the male gaze to continue to be visible. Some of us do it without even realizing that is playing a role and some of us do it knowing full well what the game is and resenting it every step of the way but feel powerless to get out of it. Then there's those like me and many others that just don't give a damn about any of it. Male gaze be damned.

I'm still not sure what exactly you mean by 'visible' in this context. If you are simply referring to the ability to get the attention of more than just your group of friends and colleagues, that's not something that matters to me. I don't want all eyes on me and I wouldn't find it rewarding if I had it. The only attention that matters to me is what I get from the people who matter to me.

This very article that the OP brought up for discussion is itself proof of what I was speaking of. Women are under constant scrutiny for our appearance. Yes, men are also scrutinized but it's not even close to the same thing and if you really paid attention and were being completely honest with yourself, you can't argue that it is. (collective you, not directed at anyone specific)

Men are not scrutinized for their appearance in sexual situations the same way women are, but they are judged to some extent. If they weren't, we wouldn't be seeing a rise in anorexia among teenage boys. But I think you are looking too closely at the media's judgments and not enough at the values of average people. Not every woman is a size 0 supermodel with well-defined cheekbones, but most women are capable of making friends and finding a partner. Most women are capable of finding social acceptance, whether they meet the fictitious media standard of beauty or not.

[SimsLover50]

In the case of the article, the teen daughter was also 'down on' her mom for buying clothing at 'her' store, even if it was only a plain tank top. The teen was judging her mom and embarrassed that mom was doing something she thought improper.

The pyschiatrist was even siding with the teen to some extent which I thought was pretty odd.

I would think a teen flipping out about mom buying a tank at any store... needs a thicker skin. Afterall mom pays for all her cute clothing.

[wickedblue]

Oaktree: I'm quite simply not up to 101 today so I'm going to bow out of this particular conversation. I'm not trying to be prickly and I hope that will be understood. I just don't have it in me. So I'll just suggest doing some reading, if you're really interested in exactly what I'm talking about. If you aren't, that's okay too.

I'm not the only woman who feels this way and there seems to be some confusion here about why I talk about this stuff, it isn't because I take it personally or feel victimized by it. See my earlier statement about being one of the women who just really don't give a damn. I stopped being visible YEARS ago because I'm OMGDEATHFATZ so I could really care less about sexual attention from random men. It's not something I ever wanted anyway.

But that doesn't change the truth of what I said about women being subjected to constant scrutiny for our appearance. And naming exceptions to this rule as you see them doesn't change that.

I think my tone is probably coming across more prickly than I intend so I'll just leave another disclaimer that I'm really not attacking. I just don't know how to make that clear with text. Maybe a bunch of smilies? :) :) :)

How about a beer? :beer:

[Robodl95]

I didn't say a damn thing about being victimized or brainwashed. What I said is that women are constantly subjected to the male gaze and that we disappear once we reach a certain age. Because we grow up in that environment, many without even being completely aware of just how deeply we are entrenched in it, will go out of our way to continue to appeal to the male gaze to continue to be visible. Some of us do it without even realizing that is playing a role and some of us do it knowing full well what the game is and resenting it every step of the way but feel powerless to get out of it. Then there's those like me and many others that just don't give a damn about any of it. Male gaze be damned.
First off there's no reason to swear at a level headed post. My experience is that when you feel good about the way you look then you will feel better about yourself (I think that this is true about everyone to a certain degree). Also your clothes can be very important in the professional world. There's also women trying to impress women (not in a lesbian way.) There's a lot more to the way that we dress then just trying to impress the opposite sex.

[CmarNYC]

"Do you consider Mom's shopping at juniors store harmful?"

I really can't take this question seriously. With all the terrible things in the world, who thinks an adult woman shopping in a junior's store is 'harmful'?

"Do you think a teen girl should dictate that her mom shouldn't buy a tank at her favorite store?"

Well, she can TRY. However, her mom has the right to buy crotchless panties at Frederick's of Hollywood if she wants.

"Is there 'age appropriate' clothing anymore?"

There's clothing that's customary and generally expected and accepted for each age. Whether that means it's 'appropriate' is up to the individual.

"Is society overly critical about the way women dress?"

Absolutely. Women are criticised if we dress too sexy, not sexy enough, too young, too old, too stylish, too frumpy, too tight, too loose etc. etc. And yes, men are criticised for their appearance too, but IMO not to the same degree. And also yes, it's other women who do a lot of the criticising.

"Should people dress appropriately as befiting their age, and who decides what is appropriate?"

People should wear what makes them feel comfortable. Beyond that, I think it's more a matter of what looks good on a person than of age-appropriateness. I've seen a lot more teenagers and young adults in ridiculous clothing than older adults. (Yes, I'm being critical here.)

"Do you consider moms shopping at juniors stores a mother being competitive or just liking the style?"

Depends on the mom.

"Do you think agree with the psychologists, that the boundaries between the 'adult world' and teen world should be respected?"

I think the boundaries are artificial, at least in this area.

Also, it's very much true that women become invisible as we get older. The people who mentioned this aren't talking about being valued in the workplace or within the family. It's being noticed in a particular way - anything from guys jumping up to give you their seat on the subway to those same co-workers flirting with you at the office holiday party after they've had a couple of drinks. It's men trying to pick you up on the street, or garbagemen admiring your anatomy, or strangers grabbing your ass (I didn't say it was all good), or salesmen being especially friendly and helpful. It all depends on a woman's looks, and it goes away as she gets older, or gains weight, or was never good-looking. It's important to some women, and trivial to others. Unfortunately some women try too hard to hang onto it.

[SimsLover50]

"Do you consider Mom's shopping at juniors store harmful?"

I really can't take this question seriously. With all the terrible things in the world, who thinks an adult woman shopping in a junior's store is 'harmful'?



Heh. Well, perhaps that question should be re-tooled.

I agree with all your answers though. Very insightful post.

[CmarNYC]

Thanks - I think I sounded a bit more augumentative than I meant to - this just seems like a total non-issue to me but YMMV! :)

[Robodl95]

I have to disagree about women not being noticed after a certain age. Most single guys want someone who is close in age to them. If women became invisible after age 40 then we wouldn't see as many marriages among older people. My 75 year old grandma was being flirted with in the grocery store, she's in shape and dresses nicely.

[Purity4]

There's a lot more to the way that we dress then just trying to impress the opposite sex.
Yes, judging others' clothing is a way to compartmentalize them into socioeconomic groups.

[missy harries]

Sorry if I went off...... Mention age appropriate clothing and that sprang to mind and then out......

Age has nothing to do with women being noticed though, its always the clothing no matter what your age and the more on show the more men will look (of course sometimes the look will be 'WTF' but hey). Clothes for middle age women are less revealing than that of teens so I imagine if the mom wants the male attention then of course she's going to go for younger styles.
My mothers 40 and she always gets the attention from younger men. Likewise go to the shop in a skirt you'll get whistles, go in jeans and no one cares.

[SimsLover50]

I have to disagree about women not being noticed after a certain age. Most single guys want someone who is close in age to them. If women became invisible after age 40 then we wouldn't see as many marriages among older people. My 75 year old grandma was being flirted with in the grocery store, she's in shape and dresses nicely.

I haven't found this to be true. Most men my age that I know marry/date younger. Rarely if ever do they date older.

[missy harries]

I haven't found this to be true. Most men my age that I know marry/date younger. Rarely if ever do they date older.

What if it was another 70 yr old......
My nans 70 soon and the bloke she's bagged around her age.

[SimsLover50]

I think everyone's experience is different, however, I'd be willing to bet that the statistics still show that men are marrying women who are younger than they, not older women or women their exact age.

[missy harries]

I think everyone's experience is different, however, I'd be willing to bet that the statistics still show that men are marrying women who are younger than they, not older women or women their exact age.

I think it's true that a lot of men like younger women (ussually middle aged men) and young boys like the older woman (for the experianced lady) but honestly once you get past a certain age your just happy to have found someone.........
This is the trend I've noticed at least.

[Cphyperdude]

well i dont know cuz im a boy

[Honeywell]

I think everyone's experience is different, however, I'd be willing to bet that the statistics still show that men are marrying women who are younger than they, not older women or women their exact age.They do but the average is only 2.3 years younger; which I would consider in the ball park of their own age personally. The article I took that number from was actually pretty interesting.

"Using data from almost two million Danish couples, Drefahl was able to eliminate the statistical shortcomings of earlier research, and showed that the best choice for a woman is to marry a man of exactly the same age; an older husband shortens her life, and a younger one even more so." --ScienceDaily (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/05/100512062631.htm)

[Purity4]

"Using data from almost two million Danish couples" --ScienceDaily (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/05/100512062631.htm)

Different countries would likely have different results.

[ElementMK]

This just in: Older women decide to wear modern young fashions. Kids whine. The world still turns. Update at 11.

[EleanorElephante]

Heck, it's their money. If they want to dress like their teenage daughters, let them do it. I don't really like the idea of 30+ year old women in clothes marketed for teens-young adults but it's a fairly common practice where I live and I've seen some who can pull it off and some that can't. Really, just a matter of taste.

[Alan_Gast]

Well, my mom dresses in clothes that would be considered 'trendy' and she's 50. She deserves it because she lost lots of weight through dieting and exercise (weight watchers) so why shouldn't she want to look nice? I mean, she doesn't go out in hot pants and a grill, so why should I be bothered? She just wears leggings and shirts and skinny jeans and things like that and she pulls them off.

[simbalena]

These days fashionable clothing isn't all tight and revealing so there is nothing wrong with an older person shopping at any store.

First off there's no reason to swear at a level headed post.

In most places damn isn't a swear word.

[el_flel]

People can dress how they want, but I do believe in age-appropriate clothing (my 60 year old boss, for example, would dress like a 16 year old and it was incredibly inappropriate for an office environment). I would never dream of trying to force my opinion on others, or voice it to them, because it is just my opinion. People really can dress how they want.

There was a programme over here in the UK called Hotter Than My Daughter which I alternated between loving and hating. In half of the cases it did seem as though the mothers who dressed very young were trying to compete with their younger daughters, and in a lot of cases the mothers were embarrassing their daughters - in those cases I did think, "Thank God they've gotten mum to tone it down a bit" because it was causing tension between the two. But in the other half you had daughters who were apparently frumpy or dressing too old - they weren't quite the same because they weren't causing problems.

I haven't found this to be true. Most men my age that I know marry/date younger. Rarely if ever do they date older.Well, whilst it's true that in opposite-sex couples the males are usually older than the females*, that wasn't really Rob's point. He was saying that people do date and get married later in life so the idea that women over 40 are invisible is silly.

* In my experience it's not rare to have a man with an older girlfriend/wife. In my family, on dad's side, my dad is younger than his fiance, his brother is younger than his wife, and one of his sisters was older than her husband. His other sister is younger than her husband. On my mum's side her brother is younger than his wife, my mum is older than her boyfriend, and I'm not sure about her sister. I get that this is not representative of the world as a whole, but it's not as rare as you might think!

[SimsLover50]

Well, whilst it's true that in opposite-sex couples the males are usually older than the females*, that wasn't really Rob's point. He was saying that people do date and get married later in life so the idea that women over 40 are invisible is silly.


Hmm. I get Rob's point, and of course there are successful older couples but simply do not agree this is the norm. I do agree this is a valid concern for many 40+ women. Just because some women over 40 are finding romance doesn't mean women aren't invisible to society.

While I do wish it were silly that women over 40 weren't invisible, sadly, this isn't true for many.

[SuicidiaParasidia]

i think there are ways for grown women to dress that they can still look very stylish and attractive without obsessing over youth. i often enjoy clothes shopping with my elderly mother, because there are plenty of clothes out there that will flatter her without making her look like a pedophile.
(there is a 40 year age gap between my mother and i, and my genetics dictate that i look 5-8 years younger than i really am, so we often pass for a teen/mother couple. i COULD fit in teen styles, but they convey an image that just isnt like me, so i stay away from them.)

personally, i think its kinda creepy when women my mothers age are dressing like girls younger than me. sure, its none of my business, but if you dont want to be publicly scrutinized, one would think that to not enter the public eye would be the best solution. because, lets face it; if everyone were allowed to dress any old way they wanted for any reason and then walk outside, we'd have a lot of eyesores (lewd and otherwise) running around. living in a community dictates that you do conform to certain social (appearance and behavior-wise) standards, and without those standards... well, there would be chaos. essentially.

maybe if society toned down the fuss over how youth is often synonymous with "beauty", mature women could return to dressing in what fits them best and not feel ignored or the need to compete with teens. we really do live in a youth-worshiping culture, which is sad, because a persons beauty shouldnt be dictated by their age to the degree that it is now.
wisdom and experience are a good enough trade-off for the physical perks of youth. people just dont count their blessings any more. but then, in a consumer culture that focuses on what you DONT have rather than what you DO have, i can see how that would come about....

you dont need to look fresh out of diapers to be beautiful or sexy or noticeable.

as for mother-daughter relationships... my mother and i are very close friends. she doesnt need to adopt my styles to be a valuable person in my life. acceptance, understanding, even just TALKING go a lot further than looking alike ever could.

[MalcomSteve]

I do not think,that is ok.She was not a movie star so she should do like that.If the children consider this odd then she must have to avoid her self from this.Later i want to know about the psyche of those all kids who do not wanna see their parents in adults fashion.What does the change they want to bring ?

[Extensa5420]

There is an article on CNN about a 14 year old girl who was outraged her mom (43), bought a top at her favorite store. Thus ensued an interesting debate about adult women shopping at stores geared for juniors.

The article then cites a study that moms are turning into consumer doppelgangers of their children shopping in teen stores so as to mimic the identities of their teenage daughters.

This sparked a healthy debate as to whether women should 'act their age' (grr) or whether women want these styles for various reasons verging from taking a shortcut to look 'cool and hip, or whether women are 'feeling younger and want to project their personality with clothing'

A psychologist chimes in and states that the mom's desire to wear juniors style clothing says this activity fosters a sense of competition with the daughter, and that it gives the teen girl an unfortuante message about how mom feels about herself, her age and insecurities and that she is not comfortable getting older'

What are your thoughts on this issue?

Here are my thoughts-

Do you think its ok for mom's to shop in junior's stores?
Do you think a teen girl should dictate that her mom shouldn't buy a tank at her favorite store?
Is there 'age appropriate' clothing anymore?
Is society overly critical about the way women dress?
Should people dress appropriately as befiting their age, and who decides what is appropriate?
Do you consider moms shopping at juniors stores a mother being competitive or just liking the style?
Do you think agree with the psychologists, that the boundaries between the 'adult world' and teen world should be respected?

I personally don't object, to mom's shopping at juniors stores. I think people should be able to wear what they want, but I'm curious what others think.

My thoughts? Some things never change. Even Oscar Wilde talks about this, and he's from a century ago! :rofl:

Quotes from Oscar Wilde:

1. "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."

2. "As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied."

3. "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all."

[anime$star]

Well umm heh heh it depends on how her daughter is dressing if her daughter isnt dressing skankish and stuff lol its ok because she wants to be with her daughter and love her but if she is wearing crazy stuff this is just my opinion the mother probably lets her daugther do whatever she wants

[katy perry]

I think its more of a concern if Fathers start dressing like their Daughters.

[live2draw]

People may not think it's such a big deal, but I personally don't like it.
When I see someone considerably older dressing like a modern day teen it kinda bugs me. To me, it shows that you're not comfortable in your skin and are desperate to recapture something you've lost basically. There are lots of older women out there who dress tastefully and still look modern, sexy and young without trying to fit themselves it teen clothes.

[SuicidiaParasidia]

Well umm heh heh it depends on how her daughter is dressing if her daughter isnt dressing skankish and stuff lol its ok because she wants to be with her daughter and love her but if she is wearing crazy stuff this is just my opinion the mother probably lets her daugther do whatever she wants

that...didnt read right.

love: its more than clothes.
im very glad my mom dresses in post-pubescent clothing. now if i could only get her to ACT her age (and not like a 12 year old), life would be perfect.

[SimsLover50]

For me it depends on why and the kind of outfit. There are plenty of fairly generic teen outfits that look fine on adults and no one would really ever know if mom was wearing it.

[live2draw]

For me it depends on why and the kind of outfit. There are plenty of fairly generic teen outfits that look fine on adults and no one would really ever know if mom was wearing it.
ok, I see what ur saying, but then, if you were going to buy a generic outfit, why go to the teen section? there are tons of generic outfits in the adults section as well...I think the reason why these older women shop in the teen section is because they want to look like a teen i.e. look younger, so they would buy clothes that is considered only suitable for teens, not a generic outfit.

[SimsLover50]

I'm not sure about that. I am an older woman, and occasionally buy teen clothing and I don't do it to look younger. Nothing could really perform that miracle I do it because I like the style or the way the item looks or the color regardless of whether it is designed for teen or not. I also occasionally wear men's clothing since I like the way the hoodie looks, or the pants fit better or the shoes. I have no desire to be a man, or look like a teen female or male but simply that I like the way the t-shirt or style looks. I bought a green t-shirt because I wanted it to match a sweater and the only one I could was in the teen male's section. They jsut didn't have anything in that color in any other section.

And sometimes teen styles have more color than the drab stuff they put out for 40 yo women.

So while you may think that women who are older dress this way to look like their teens or to look younger, it simply isnt' true for everyone. I dress this way, because the teen fashion simply has more stuff available, more colors, and more stuff than what's in the 40+ plus year old women's section.

I will add that I tend to buy most of my clothing in the adult section of the store. But that doesn't mean I won't go into another section if I like the style or it catches my eye.

[Sunbee]

Teen styles are cut differently--depending on how you're built they may fit better, especially if you're small on top. However, most teen styles I see advertised aren't suitable for anyone to wear as anything but lingerie.

[missy harries]

Teen styles are cut differently--depending on how you're built they may fit better, especially if you're small on top. However, most teen styles I see advertised aren't suitable for anyone to wear as anything but lingerie.

I don't think teen styles are that bad Lol.
Besides white defines teen style in the first place?

[katy perry]

I don't think teen styles are that bad Lol.
Besides white defines teen style in the first place?

Most teens dress like sensible women anyway. How they dress normally and how they dress for their boyfriend are two seperate things entirely. The only time you see teens dressed like skanks round here is when the shows, carnival for you Americans out there, are in town and they're hoping to pull or when their out with their boyfriend on a Saturday afternoon.

I don't think teens dress like sl*ts as much as they used to now. I think they're more wise that dressing like that can get them into awkward situations and make them vulnerable.

[live2draw]

I'm not sure about that. I am an older woman, and occasionally buy teen clothing and I don't do it to look younger. Nothing could really perform that miracle I do it because I like the style or the way the item looks or the color regardless of whether it is designed for teen or not. I also occasionally wear men's clothing since I like the way the hoodie looks, or the pants fit better or the shoes. I have no desire to be a man, or look like a teen female or male but simply that I like the way the t-shirt or style looks. I bought a green t-shirt because I wanted it to match a sweater and the only one I could was in the teen male's section. They jsut didn't have anything in that color in any other section.

And sometimes teen styles have more color than the drab stuff they put out for 40 yo women.

So while you may think that women who are older dress this way to look like their teens or to look younger, it simply isnt' true for everyone. I dress this way, because the teen fashion simply has more stuff available, more colors, and more stuff than what's in the 40+ plus year old women's section.

I will add that I tend to buy most of my clothing in the adult section of the store. But that doesn't mean I won't go into another section if I like the style or it catches my eye.
that's a really good point, and I wasn't trying to say that you're restricted to one section because of your age group, cuz that would be totally unfair and unrealistic.... take me for instance, I am a teen, but half the clothes in the teen section would never fit me because of my bust size.... its not exactly "teen sized" if you know what I mean ;) so sometimes I have to buy adult clothes... when you're dealing with people, there is no fixed factor, they come in all shapes and sizes, their personalities and preferences are different... so i'm not saying if you see something in the teen section, as an older woman, you shouldn't buy it, I'm saying you have to be conscious of your age and know when to draw the line. There are some nice things in the teen section that would look good on older women, but the skimpy tube tops and short shorts, as an older woman, you should probably leave those to the teens.... that's all I'm saying. :D
ps- i love this stimulating discussion! :D

[katy perry]

To be honest I cant think of many shops that have a dedicated teen section. Most clothes come in a wide range of sizes, from a skinny (UK size) 8 that would fit fourteen year olds to a (UK size) 16 or larger that would fit a woman who is 40+ and has had a few kids.

[Sunbee]

I don't think teen styles are that bad Lol.
Besides white defines teen style in the first place?
Well, I don't know any actual teen girls at the moment--those I've seen this summer have all been at the pool wearing swimsuits--so I can't say what teen girls wear, except that they seem to wear fewer bikinis than toddler girls. I can only say that what I see advertised is very skin-baring.
As far as what defines the current styles? That would be the fashion industry, which is a fascinating subject to research. We choose either to buy what the current style is, or not buy it.

[simbalena]

To be honest I cant think of many shops that have a dedicated teen section.

I agree, I'm a bit confused by people saying adults shouldn't shop in teen sections because I'm not exactly sure what defines a teen section. When I was a teen I went to shops that had clothes I liked and now I'm an adult I go to shops that have clothes I like. They are pretty much still the same shops.

[Pixelhate]

Is there any teenager who wants to look like Mom and Dad ? Being in opposition/different from parents is a way and a step to build your own personality. There's a lot of chances for the teen to move towards a more radical/extreme style or behaviour if they can't differ from parents.
In that sense, it is, in my opinion, potentially harmful if parent try to mimic their teenager.

[Rawra]

It clearly depends on the age of the respective mom. A 45-50 year old dressed in tight jeans and Converse's, a shirt with "Peace" and bangs covering her left eye looks crazy to me. Just IMHO.

[katy perry]

It clearly depends on the age of the respective mom. A 45-50 year old dressed in tight jeans and Converse's, a shirt with "Peace" and bangs covering her left eye looks crazy to me. Just IMHO.

It also depends on what the Mother is wearing. I saw a teenager wearing a leather look jacket and jeans and her Mother who was with her was wearing pretty much the same. It didn't look weird or unsual or anything. If the teen was wearing a tube top and denim mini and her 40+ Mother was dressed the same, well that would be a bit questionable. I actually know a 50+ woman who always wear a denim mini, and let me tell you it is not a pretty site.

[bigmunk2]

For me it depends on why and the kind of outfit. There are plenty of fairly generic teen outfits that look fine on adults and no one would really ever know if mom was wearing it.

I don't think my mom would wear a t-shirt with the iron maiden logo on it and she would not wear a hangover movie shirt.

[Myshia]

It's honestly not a problem.. we've been doing this thing for decades. If your the same shape and size, and they're an exact genetic copy of you.. why wouldn't you go raid each other's clothing. Gosh, this is just overreacting! People would be sensible in what they're wearing.. you wouldn't want people to see your saggy skin now, wouldn't you? :D I think society is just having a totally different mindset than what it was a decade ago..

[Elexis]

(Sorry for my awful English in advance.)
Seriously, what right do we have to judge others people taste in clothing?
If 40 years old chubby mom wants to wear some sexy tube top or booty shorts, who can stop her?
Beauty is in eye of the beholder. Anything else can be just someones personal opinion.
And don't get me wrong, we all have the right to express our opinion if we don't like something, but we don't have any rights to dictate how someone should dress himself.
As long as person is comfortable with his clothing, no matter how bad he might look to you, it's his choice and no one can change that.

Sometimes I buy some nice clothing for my mom in Forever 18, because there are plenty different stuff which suits her perfectly and most important, she likes it.

As for myself, I have encountered some bad critics about how I dress myself. Most of it where about my boyish and childish look, as if I'm a girl I just "must" wear heels and minis. The funny thing is, that when I actually put some modest looking heels and "not-so-short" mini, everybody start bugging me about how "slutty" I look to show my round butt. Neither way is good, heh.

From this example, I can say that there's no actual rules on how to look "appropriate" for your age, because no matter how hard you can try to fit in that "appropriate" look, there always will be someone who will disagree with you.
Like I said, it's just personal preferences and the more people will see how you're dressed, the more different opinions you might receive.

[5M0K3]

Pshaw... My mum and I share clothes. She dresses younger than her age, and I dress older than mine. Lots of oversized shirts and leggings and boots.

[DrowningFishy]

Well that would suck being told you can't wear something because your to old. Shoot I seen little grannies with bright pink hair and punk rocker outfits. I do not think it is wrong so long as you don't end up qualifying for places like (http://www.peopleofwalmart.com) these (http://poorlydressed.failblog.org/) . Though I can understand it from a teenagers POV. They're trying to do their own thing, and looking like mom might not be cool. Even if you find your mom cool you know how teenagers are, we were all one at one time.

[PlainJane]

it depends on how the daughter dresses. if she wears g-strings, skinny jeans, and butterfly camisole, the mom's version will border on child abuse

[minimogut]

I believe that as long as it is a modest outfit like what I wear (hoodies, non-low rise jeans), anyone can wear it. My mom wears hoodies and jeans occasionally, and it doesn't bug me.

[5M0K3]

Is mum dressing like this?
http://www.dashinfashion.com/images/home/justice1.jpg
I think no one should dress like that.

[simbalena]

Hey! I dress like that sometimes and there's nothing wrong with it!

I think no one should dress like you. :|

[5M0K3]

Hey! I dress like that sometimes and there's nothing wrong with it!

I think no one should dress like you. :| I think no one should either.

[vhanster]

Actually, I'd have to wonder why people should stop wearing certain kinds of clothing just because they're "past the age group limit". Who says that "trendy" clothes are limited for young people/teenagers anyway?

[SuicidiaParasidia]

Actually, I'd have to wonder why people should stop wearing certain kinds of clothing just because they're "past the age group limit". Who says that "trendy" clothes are limited for young people/teenagers anyway?

so you wouldnt be disturbed to see a grown (or even a teenager) person walking down the street in nothing but a t-shirt and diapers? youre insinuating that age doesnt matter when it comes to clothing. i see toddlers wear nothing but a t-shirt and diapers all the time.

[5M0K3]

I think he means reasonably different age limit.

Obviously I'm not going to walk around in a diaper.

But I'm not going to walk around in a stretch sweatsuit either.

ETA: There are 19 years between me and my mom. With out current ages, it doesn't seem like a huge difference, so whatever. But when I was 2 and she was 21, she's obviously not going to share clothes with me. I'm not sure what I'm trying to prove with this, I guess that it's not really how much older one is than the other, but how old they both are. 27 and 46, though they are far apart, are not nearly as distant as 2 and 21. So and 27 YO and a 46 YO sharing clothes is much more reasonable. However, Saying that, let's say, someone who was 26 when they had their daughter, their daughter is now 13, and they are now 39... 13 and 39 doesn't make much sense for sharing clothes, but if that's what she wants, then so be it. You can't change the way someone dresses. (Admittedly I have made some rude/sarcastic comments about the way people dress. I've done it in the past, the present, and the future. It can't be stopped)

[vhanster]

so you wouldnt be disturbed to see a grown (or even a teenager) person walking down the street in nothing but a t-shirt and diapers? youre insinuating that age doesnt matter when it comes to clothing. i see toddlers wear nothing but a t-shirt and diapers all the time.

Toddlers probably don't wear bottoms because they'd just get in the way when it's time to change diapers. And since when are diapers considered 'clothing' anyway? :wtf:

[SuicidiaParasidia]

I think he means reasonably different age limit.

Obviously I'm not going to walk around in a diaper.

But I'm not going to walk around in a stretch sweatsuit either.

i didnt read anything to the tune of a "reasonable" age limit. they gave no examples of what a reasonable age limit could be, and left it at a terribly all-encompassing statement:

Actually, I'd have to wonder why people should stop wearing certain kinds of clothing just because they're "past the age group limit". Who says that "trendy" clothes are limited for young people/teenagers anyway?

^ also, there are "trendy" clothes for every age group, and toddlers are "young people", so thats also an overly vague choice of words, too.

Toddlers probably don't wear bottoms because they'd just get in the way when it's time to change diapers. And since when are diapers considered 'clothing' anyway? :wtf:

that doesnt really answer my question.

cloth·ing
   /ˈkloʊðɪŋ/ Show Spelled[kloh-thing] Show IPA
noun
1.
garments collectively; clothes; raiment; apparel.
2.
a covering.

...since they've been a type of covering? is this news to you?

[Saturnfly]

I think people should dress however the hell they want.

[simsample]

I agree with you Saturnfly!

But I have the opposite problem, my daughter dresses like me. I mean, I was wearing jeans and a band T-shirt before she was born, and my favourite jacket (which she has stolen to wear to Uni) is older than her! :lol:

[vhanster]

But I have the opposite problem, my daughter dresses like me. I mean, I was wearing jeans and a band T-shirt before she was born, and my favourite jacket (which she has stolen to wear to Uni) is older than her! :lol:

I do so as well, actually; wearing my dad's clothes I mean. Though partly my dad's fault too, for handing me his clothes if it doesn't suit him :rolleyes:

[HystericalParoxysm]

I am -far- more offended by the punctuation of the subject line of this thread than by people dressing however they like.

[SimsLover50]

I am -far- more offended by the punctuation of the subject line of this thread than by people dressing however they like.

haha. Wow, thanks for the catch. Didn't see that at all.

[Sugar Luffs U]

I honestly don't see the problem.. Its a free country, nobody can stop them. Its not like their trying to be that person, the adults just want a change, you know, something to make them feel young and beautiful again. I don't think I'd care much if my Mom started randomly dressing like me. I'd be a bit concerned though if she started acting like me. But otherwise, I don't see the harm in an older adult going to a younger teens store. That's what I'd do.

[Dreamstar]

Honestly buying her daughter clothes is fine I mean she's her mother!? It's what mothers are meant to do, the girl should get over herself....

[strawberrydreams123]

I am a teenage girl myself (13, almost 14) and I know I would be MORTIFIED if my mom dressed like I do. Not that she would, anyway. My mom wears typical... mom clothes? I really find it hard to imagine my mother wearing the likes of a playsuit, or patterned leggings. I guess most teenage girls would like their parents to be more fashionable, but what suits their age. A 40 year old woman wearing shorts, tights and Converse would NOT be cool, mom. Perhaps the girl's mother is trying too hard to please her daughter.

[whiterider]

I gotta say, I find it hard to imagine a teenager wearing a playsuit too, but maybe I'm just old.

[minimogut]

Is mum dressing like this?
http://www.dashinfashion.com/images/home/justice1.jpg
I think no one should dress like that.

No, mum dresses more like this: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=image+grey+hoodie&hl=en&sa=X&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=hLAxNorF9jvIeM:&imgrefurl=http://tylergrosso.blogspot.com/2010/05/grey-hoodie.html&docid=Jyvsh4mCcScyCM&imgurl=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_KNE3rKlzPuA/S-B_w1ym1hI/AAAAAAAAAB4/cBMc0aO7boE/s320/GreyHoodie12500.jpg&w=300&h=300&ei=fLCET-v7E8rYiALTx8T1BA&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=216&sig=110678829065857431903&page=1&tbnh=126&tbnw=126&start=0&ndsp=22&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0,i:69&tx=59&ty=78&biw=1280&bih=607

[missy harries]

Whoa......... Check this mom (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1170348/The-50-year-old-mother-spent-10-000-surgery-look-like-daughter.html).
If that's not insecurity/rivalry then I just don't know what is!

[SimsLover50]

Whoa......... Check this mom (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1170348/The-50-year-old-mother-spent-10-000-surgery-look-like-daughter.html).
If that's not insecurity/rivalry then I just don't know what is!

The mom looks good, and heck, they are both adults. I don't really have an issue with it, if she has the money to spend. Her facial features really don't look that much like her daughter.

[Nottie]

Why not? women should have the choice to wear what they want and feel comfortable in (in reason).

The girl is being selfish; though, of course, I'd be embarrased and I'd say some of her outburst relates to that, but really it's up to the mother.

They aren't putting into account older woman want to feel younger, and they accomplish that in different ways. Some people might go out to a party, some might wear clothes targeted for a younger audience (which; sims was orriginally targeted for architects, then younger girls but is for all ages) and some might play around.

[kinha q+b]

I think wrong,
but will the head of each.
-;-

[meimeiawesome]

"Do you think its ok for mom's to shop in junior's stores?"
Yes, I personally think a mom can shop in a junior's store. But only if they are the size for it.
If you're overweight or can't fit into the necesarily correct size for teenage-style clothes, then don't shop there!

"Do you think a teen girl should dictate that her mom shouldn't buy a tank at her favorite store?"
Nah, I mean, if the teen girl is embarrased, they don't have to go with their mom.

"Is there 'age appropriate' clothing anymore?"
Well, there is clothing that will be ''allowed" in certain age groups, and some that will be dissed, but whether its appropiate or not depends on your own thoughts.

"Is society overly critical about the way women dress?"
Of course! Its always "too this" and "too that" and "not enough this" and "not enough that" !
We should be respected a little more.

"Should people dress appropriately as befiting their age, and who decides what is appropriate?"
Mmmm. Depends on how they want to dress, and the individual decides with their own opinion. there is no OVERALL definition for "appropiate"

"Do you consider moms shopping at juniors stores a mother being competitive or just liking the style?"
Depends on the mother...

"Do you think agree with the psychologists, that the boundaries between the 'adult world' and teen world should be respected?"
Depends on what the boundary is seperating. some things can be merged in the two worlds, some things can't.

[StardustX]

People can wear what they want. I don't care, it doesn't effect me.
But honestly it's just a little weird. Imagine if your mom turned up at the mall while you're with your friends, dressed like a 15 year old. Most teenagers would be mortified.

[LuvSims2011]

Well, if my mom ever decided to wear the same clothes I wear everyday, then I think I would get pissed off. :(