Can't believe this son of a...

[Le Carrera]

When she found out she was pregnant, he wanted an abortion. Tried to bully and abuse her into it. I know this, because I had the misfortune of witnessing one of his ugly shouting tirades myself - he was screaming about how worthless she was, how he didn't want the baby to live, blah, blah, blah. One time I even went out at 2 a.m on a Tuesday morning to take her to the hospital after he threw her down a flight of sitars. Thankfully she was not seriously injured.

Now, two years later... he actually wants custody of their daughter.

Can't believe this a**h*le for a second. Some people in this world I will never EVER understand, ever.

[LadyKombucha]

Oh wow, thats horrible. No judge in their right mind would allow such a vicious man to look after a child!

[Oaktree]

Are you testifying on behalf of the mother in the custody hearing? They could dismiss it as hearsay, but, if enough people knew about his antics, it could present a pretty good case for him having said those things and being unfit as a father.

[Rawra]

You can't blame him for not wanting the baby. Period.

However, he is to blame for how brutal he was to his girlfriend or whatever she was. And, seriously, why does he want that girl's custody after he initially didn't want a baby? That's curious.

[smorbie1]

Wish I could say I hadn't seen this before. The sad thing is that if this is in the USA, he has a good chance of getting custody. Judges seem to pay little attention to the facts. It all seems to come down to who makes the most money.

[VerDeTerre]

I've heard of men often trying to bully their impregnated girlfriends into getting abortions before, but the last part surprised me. Is it possible he's had a change of heart? Or do you think he's just trying to dominate again? I'm so sorry for your friend. I'm fairly certain that hospital records relating to the fall could be used in a custody hearing, but I'm not a lawyer so I don't really know. It probably would have helped if she had had a restraining order against him. I wonder if there are others who are aware of his violent and controlling behavior. He can't be nice on the outside all of the time. What is he like at work? In his neighborhood? With other girlfriends? I wonder if other testimony could prevent him from getting custody? Your friend might need a lawyer or, at the very least, some guidance from a family social service organization.

[BlakeS5678]

Um, how old was she when she got pregnant. (Out of curiosity.)

[smorbie1]

I've seen men who wanted nothing to do with the baby, tried to bully or force the woman into an abortion, even try to harm her so that she aborted, then turn around and want the baby. Sometimes it has to do with child support. He feels like he'll just take the child and won't have to pay for it. Sometimes, he's still trying to hurt the woman. What better way than to take her child and control access to it?

This is just one of many reasons why it's really important to be careful who you sleep with.

[fraroc]

When she found out she was pregnant, he wanted an abortion. Tried to bully and abuse her into it. I know this, because I had the misfortune of witnessing one of his ugly shouting tirades myself - he was screaming about how worthless she was, how he didn't want the baby to live, blah, blah, blah. One time I even went out at 2 a.m on a Tuesday morning to take her to the hospital after he threw her down a flight of sitars. Thankfully she was not seriously injured.

Now, two years later... he actually wants custody of their daughter.

Can't believe this a**h*le for a second. Some people in this world I will never EVER understand, ever.

Where does this cocksucking peice of mysogynistic shit live? (cracks knuckles) I'll make sure I'll give him a right old seeing to.

[LilyT]

@ faroc: Violence is never the answer.


People can change, but, I don't honestly think this is the case here. However, I honestly don't know either side of the story very well, so I don't know.
If the father really is violent, then he probably should not be allowed custody. If he really has changed, he should be allowed to see his child, at least visitation rights.

I really hope that whatever the outcome is, that the baby is safe and well cared for.

[fraroc]

@ faroc: Violence is never the answer.


People can change, but, I don't honestly think this is the case here. However, I honestly don't know either side of the story very well, so I don't know.
If the father really is violent, then he probably should not be allowed custody. If he really has changed, he should be allowed to see his child, at least visitation rights.

I really hope that whatever the outcome is, that the baby is safe and well cared for.

But don't you want to put that piece of no good trash in it's place?!

[LilyT]

@ faroc: How do you know that he hasn't changed? Have you met him? Have you heard his side of the story? Calling people 'trash' isn't nice, either. And No, I don't think I would want to put that man in his 'place'. Violence is never the answer.
Like I said, I don't know his side of the story. He could be a very terrible person, but he still wouldn't deserve to be beaten up. If he's really that bad, I'm sure that fate will align itself.

EDIT:

I'd also like to say, that I'm not taking sides, and I do not condone his behavior.

[LadyKombucha]

there's no side of the story for pushing pregnant women down stairs. people like that don't change without anything short of a labotamy. my town is full of scum like that, its depressing.

[LilyT]

@ LadyKombucha: There's still a side, it's probably just the wrong side. Like I said, I'm not defending nor condoning his actions. They were horrible. And, like I said, I doubt he has changed. But, I like to give most people the benefit of the doubt. He could have changed. Not saying he did, but it is possible.

[LadyKombucha]

eh, i'm a cynic when it comes to human nature. leopards and spots.

[Elexis]

Is it really matter if he has changed? If he was able to change once then he can change again.
The fact that this person wanted to harm an innocent child is inevitable since he pushed a pregnant woman down the stairs. How can someone let him take care of this child? The right for visiting at the best, but not more.

[VerDeTerre]

People can change and can be rehabilitated, but given his violence, it couldn't happen without serious help. It does sound like a matter for the law.

[simonem]

If he can push a pregnant woman down the stair imagine what he could do to a small child if he got annoyed at her.

[BL00DIEDHELL]

The right for visiting at the best, but not more.

Supervised visits.

I would be very suspicious of his intentions in OP's shoes as well. I've read far too many stories about abusive boyfriends attacking their children. Even ones who acted like doting fathers at first. Sigh :/

[Le Carrera]

Um, how old was she when she got pregnant. (Out of curiosity.)

She was 21.