11 year old girl gets caught talking to 17+ guy and then decides to cut herself when she got in trouble.

[jthm_nny]

Unfortunately that girl is my sister, who believes she is emo :rolleyes: . We're middle class, though her life was a lot easier than mine and she always says her life is a "living hell". She started cutting before for no reason. She has sexted guys my age in the past. She has also gave death threats to kids who simply called her "WEIRD"
So this week my mom found her chat history (she has a program that does this) and she was hitting on a guy who was supposedly 17 and had loads of facial hair who also has interests with her age and was dating a girl her age apparently. She got so upset she was caught on the day she was supposed to hang out with her friend she started cutting herself again.
What do you suppose should be done?

[DuskTrooper]

One thing is for sure, is that the girl needs to be encouraged not to cut herself. I know it is easier to put that into words than it is into action, but there are many other ways for her to relieve some stress that situations like this undoubtedly bring.

She could for example, take a walk to the local park, or listen to some music.

Also, in a situation like this, I believe it would be best not to make a big deal about it, as that brings more stress and embarrassment to the child, and therefor increasing the chance of her cutting herself (again).

As for dating a 17 year old guy, I don't have much of an opinion on that which would be even remotely useful, sorry.

[BlakeS5678]

*Panics* Oh my god! That's horrible. I haven't the slightest clue. Shouldn't she see a doctor!? For heavens sake she's a physical hazard to herself and others around her!

I'm lost for words really. That story's just so sad and touches my heart so deeply though, I used to have a friend like that, and I didn't know what to do. So, I felt really bad because I felt I was being a horrible person not helping them enough, it was after a huge fight with them when I figured out they tried to kill themself, I felt really guilty, like I might have contributed to reason why they may have.

I'm usually not this religious, but, I'll pray for your sister, people like that need help, and it's a shame that a girl so young is already on the wrong path. I better go before I start crying...

[Saturnfly]

#1 This doesn't sound like a debate.
#2 Anyone, child or adult, who self harms should seek professional support (counselling, psychologist), because although they might not be trying to seriously injure themselves, self harm has so many horrible risks involved. Infections from lack of wound care, unable to stop bleeding, etc... At 11 years old, your sister clearly needs help, you obviously realise this otherwise you wouldn't be posting, but I suggest you talk to your parents about finding her some professional support.

You could also go onto this website: http://buslist.org/phpBB/ , they have a wonderful section for family members who know of someone that self harms. I wouldn't suggest your sister join that forum, though, since it might be a bit much for someone her age. Counselling for her, I think would be the best thing, I'm no psychologist, but I've dealt with a lot of people for the past 6 years, especially young girls, who self harm for numerous reasons. No matter how mild it may seem, self harm should be taken seriously.

The reason she is probably cutting herself, is because she finds that helps her cope. Some people don't like talking about what's going on with them, she's so young and is probably feeling humiliated, so maybe she feels that works for her. She definitely needs her family to support her, and not to judge her but to give her what she needs. She should be encouraged to express herself with other means, by talking, or writing things down, or even through art work. Self harm is definitely no healthy way of letting it all out.

[HystericalParoxysm]

This is really very much not a debate. Your sister needs professional help. Please talk to your parents about it and get her into treatment - self-harm (especially in a child) is a serious thing and not something for a bunch of us nerds to kick around talking about when we don't even know her.