View Full Version : Need help telling crush how I feel
13th Feb 2012, 11:11 PM
Okay, "Hi, MTS." I haven't been here in a while. I've missed this place, and you guys who dwell here.
Um, well I need some help. Preferably from adults who have been in a similar situation and can give me some useful answers.
You see, I like this girl, and I'm not sure if she "plays for the other team" if you get my drift. I've asked people, and nobody is sure because she tends to keep her business to herself. Asking her myself is not an option because I don't really know her that well. She says hi to me in the hallways, but we haven't had much interaction outside of that. I've mostly been admiring her from afar, and I'm not really part of her inner-circle, so to speak.
I sent her a friend request on Facebook, and she accepted it, but that doesn't really mean much because kids my age tend to add anyone who wants to be their friend, be it the 50-year-old pedophile down the street or the nerd from school. I've read on her wall, and her and her sister were talking about her having a crush on someone else. They didn't specify whether it was a guy or not, and they could've been alluding to me, but I doubt it.
I just want a chance to tell her how I feel. I'm scared to just go up to her, because her sister is an overprotective twat who hates me because her boyfriend flirted with me once. I was thinking of making a video of myself playing a song I know she likes and sending it to her, but I don't want to be a creeper. I'm just,... scared. I want to see if I have a chance with her. Any advice? :|
13th Feb 2012, 11:13 PM
Just talk to her as if she's any other person, not as a potential bone-jumping opportunity. If you two hit it off in conversation and have some things to talk about and stuff in common, you can strike up a friendship and take it from there. If something more is meant to be, then it'll grow naturally out from there - and if it's not, then you'll have either made a cool new friend, or will know that she's not the girl for you. And you won't have had to put yourself out there and get shot down, in any case.
I was thinking of making a video of myself playing a song I know she likes and sending it to her, but I don't want to be a creeper.
Do not do this. Really. If you guys end up together, sure, go for it, but no romantic gestures of any kind until you know your feelings are mutual.
Whatever happens, I wish you the best. I know how hard it can be to navigate those confusing waters of high school, hormones, and "alternate" sexuality all at once.
13th Feb 2012, 11:16 PM
Just talk to her and see if she shares the same interests, has a crush on you, etc. You don't even know if she likes you or not herself, so right now she is probably not going to want you as her girlfriend (in the dating way), but you might just hit it off. Just talk to her and be her friend for a while.
13th Feb 2012, 11:52 PM
I'm not certain whether OP is in high school or college, so coffee may or may not work. It would seem a little out of place in high school, but it would be an easy way to get talking with someone in college.
14th Feb 2012, 12:32 AM
I'm a junior in high school, just to clarify.
14th Feb 2012, 3:58 AM
I think you should become closer with her. Get to know her more, hit her up on facebook chat. Once you get into a more comfortable relationship - it's easier to mention something about "playing for the other team" and see how she reacts. If it's positive (she's all for gay rights, etc. - she might even mention she's interested in girls) it'll be easier to slip it in that you like girls. After you find out, ask her out! Good luck! ;)
14th Feb 2012, 6:23 PM
You have a sincere crush on this girl? Let me say, that's amazing, and great. But if I was you. I would take it very slow, and don't just jump in say, "HEY do you go for other people besides you know, guys?" Bad mistake, and that will seriously go down the crap shoot fast. Here is my advice:
Take it slow, get to know her. I know you have a crush on her, but don't immediately jump in. Eventually, when the time, and her mood is right, tell her. But be blunt about it, don't beat around the bush.
Believe me, I was trying to get a number from a girl, and my cousin had to do it, because I chickened out -.-" Not a pretty sight.
But I really do agree with HystericalParoxysm, do not do anything that has romantic things involved, for example: Singing to her on a video, sending her flowers, getting her chocolate. No no no no no. Bad idea. Now, you can be that caring person, giving her a shoulder to cry on. Make her laugh, and honestly, the best advice I can give you is this.
Be yourself. Just be yourself, because no one wants to be with someone that tries to be someone else to impress someone. It doesn't work that way.But just wait, I know waiting sucks. When you just want to scream how you feel towards her. I hope my advice works for you. But get to know her, okay?
And one more time:
14th Feb 2012, 11:28 PM
Just strike up a conversation, It doesn't matter what about. If you like the same things, great.
If you don't, you can always debate it or, agree too disagree and that can also be fun. Just talk and see where it takes you.
Get to know someone you are interested in that is my only advice.
Btw If you have crazy hormones making you go all.... pinch yourself hard!
15th Feb 2012, 1:31 AM
Definitely avoid creepy gestures. If you get any creepy vibe from a passing thought whatsoever? Discard it. Overt pronouncements and grand gestures work in the movies, in real life they're best saved for when you're pretty sure they won't predicate a soul-crushing act of reasonable "Gah! Away from me!" rejection. I can't speak with any certainty about any other part of this, being an older hetero male, but I've dated and tried to date enough women that I know not to do this.
If someone you didn't like or know did "thing X" would you be flattered, interested, or call the police. If it's the last, never do this.
15th Feb 2012, 7:30 PM
I think you mean your a girl and she's a girl. Well take this as a straight woman who's constantly hit on by woman. 0_o And yet the gender I like really doesn't look my way. Anyway I usually found that general pick up lines seemed to sudden and borish (save that for adulthood when it's a bit easier to tell). The cup of coffee is a great idea but you might want to insert something more age appropriate. Park/dinner/mall/I nono what do kids do these days. The video is a great idea, but what ever you do you don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. SHe may not have considered doing this before in her life so it may take her awhile to get back. In that pondering period you should just act like everything was just as it was before. This will make her feel more comfortable in her choice. Confessing for either end of the coin can have negitive reactioins to so don't feel bad if she comes back with a "oh god no" or something similar.
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