Hi there! You are currently browsing as a guest. Why not create an account? Then you get less ads, can thank creators, post feedback, keep a list of your favourites, and more!
Replies: 50 (Who?), Viewed: 20868 times. | You are currently not a member of this group. Would you like to join it now?
Page 2 of 3
Quick Reply
Search this Thread
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#26 Old 18th Aug 2013 at 10:22 PM
Quote: Originally posted by AleahStrauss
Requested username: SimSpark

Funny Story:
No I did not write this. I wish I had but I am not that funny. It's by Olan Rogers. It's so much more funny if you watch the video. If you would like to here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZO9tMetxno
If you would rather not click an unidentified link then look up "Ghost In The Stalls" on Youtube. You will lol forever. Ok here we go.

Back a while, I was in this Target bathroom. And I was making shortcakes... Pooping. I was pooping. While I was in the bathroom, pooping, I was playing on my phone in silent mode. Which, by the way, is called multitasking, ok. Put it on the job apps. I hear this guy come into the bathroom. He comes into the bathroom and gets in the stall next to me, ok, and I see sneakers. He started pooping, next to me. Luckily, I was in the post poop, ok. I didn't want him to know I was in here. Ya know that awkward... ya know you guys are both pooping but not saying any words and then it turns into some awkward skyping poop call. No. I don't wanna be any part of that. Not me. So I just remained quiet. I'm just gonna keep quiet, I don't want this guy to know I'm in here. I didn't want that awkwardness to happen. But in doing this I created a new awkward moment of quietness. It was so quiet. It was so fricking quiet, I heard a fly fart. It was like a soft angelic whistle. It was quite beautiful actually.

So I'm sitting in the stall and I'm thinking to myself,
"It's a Monday. I got nothing going on. I'm chock free. I have nothing. I'm free- I'm scotch.... tape. I'm so dang clear of anything."
So I decided,
"Hey, I'm gonna beak the silence."
.
.
.
So I let out the most bloodcurdling scream. I released Thor in the stall. And this guy, he like freaks the crap out. All I hear is like two hands press up against the stall.

"EEAARRRH! HELLO?! IS SOMEONE IN HERE? LISTEN I'M BEING SERIOUS. YOU ABOUT SCARED THE CRAP RIGHT OUT OF ME. I APPRECIATE THE HELP, BUT I HAVE ANAL MUSCLES. YOU HAVE ME WORRIED NOW. I- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE DEAD OR ALIVE."

So I hear movement, like he's getting ready to look under the stall to see if there's somebody in there. And I know this because the guy, like, hits his head on the paper towel thing. And as he looks under.... I pop my feet up. Okay, I didn't want this guy to know I was in there. I can only imagine what this guy was thinking. He was like,

"HELLO? WHA- AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

So I let this guy get really relaxed. Get really comf right there on the seat. And the guy starts pooping again, starts pooping right away. So I decided, why not? Ya know, it's a Monday. So I let out another soul ripping scream. The guy just starts screaming.

"AAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Freaking, all I hear after this is the guy, like, trying to, like, put on his pants, right? Like he's about to bust out of his stall and go into mine. So that's what the guy does! Ya know he,
*BOOM*

I hear him bust out go into the next stall.

*BOOM*

"HEY!"

But what this guy didn't know, was in the spans of him jingling around with his pants, it gave me enough cover to move from my stall to the stall right of his.

So this guy burst into there.

*BOOM*
"........ Ok, okay... I see what's going on.. You are a tormented soul. Trapped within these stall walls.... I am not your enemy. I just want to excrete this dark matter, safely and quietly. And I promise you this! I will be on my way! If you give me this one solid, I will present you with more solids."

So he goes back into his stall, tingents are dying down. And, he started dropping depth charges again. It was almost like he uppercutted a playdough can. I'm in the stall, I'm in the stall next to him kinda like,

Quote: Originally posted by AleahStrauss
"It's a Monday. I gotta do it one more time."

One more final scream. But not just a scream. I decided to yell "RUN!"

The roar was so loud it was like I released the kraken in the bathroom. It was like a whale gave birth to a roaring T-rex. The hair stood up on my arms. It was that loud. And as I was yelling my fricking foot dipped in the dang toilet. So now I release more energy.

This guy gets so scared that he just,

*BOOM*

Bursts out of the stall. Runs out screaming.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

And runs right out of the Target bathroom.

So I walk out of the stall. And I remember that the only thing that I did was I just did a double fist to the air, right? And I just said,

"I AM THE MASTER COMMANDER."

I don't even know why I said this. But it fit the moment. And I remember, I looked over into the stall. Apparently the guy had left his pants... In the stall. Which means that he somehow got so scared that he slipped his sneakers out of his pants and ran out into target in his beefy hanes. So I walk out, into Target, one foot soaking. And I go up to an employee and I'm like,

"Hey, I don't know what happened. But somebody left their pants. In the stall. In the bathroom. "

I remember the employee just looks at me and says,

"Oh, again?"

Again? Freaking again?

Hahaha that story gets me every time. I really hope you like it because it took me over an hour to type up. Mainly because I was laughing so hard I really couldn't type hahaha. Um if you didn't find it funny and my username does not get changed then I'll have to find another funny story and keep trying. But seriously watch the video its so much better omg. It's impossible to not laugh with all of his faces and voices. Okay, thank for your time!

The real reason: I have no imagination whatsoever when it comes to thinking up usernames. But I've spent a lot of time thinking and found one that I really really like and, miraculously, nobody took it yet!! Also I'd rather not have my actual name floating around on the interwebs. Don't know what I was thinking haha.


Hey, I just figured out how to "quote a picture". End quote just before it, and then start quoting again after it. :D
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Advertisement
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#27 Old 30th Aug 2013 at 6:06 PM Last edited by Ghost sdoj : 2nd Sep 2013 at 10:15 PM.
Quote: Originally posted by Peakabu
Hi there! Well...I would like my name changed to StynkerBell please!
The reason(s) may not be so funny..but true! A while ago...long while...there was a crazy woman who decided that my life was MUCH more interesting than her current one. She knew me well, as she was my cleaning lady, who I regarded as a friend (silly me)
So..the more she got to know me and my family, the more she thought that she could change her life and just - ya know - become ME! She went as far as to actually make a FB account, as me...she actually used Photoshop to remove me from pics and just add HER..next to MY husband, MY son, and MY dog...getting the picture? (pun intended) So...long story short..she really wanted to become me, and did her damnedest to get there. - several other events took place, like stealing my medications and trying to make me think my husband was doing it!! And when we first reported her, we had to "play along" to get as much as we could documented. Now, after too much of my precious time, she got her "comeuppance" - she sits in a little cell in prison, enjoying a new life, isn't that what she wanted so badly in the first place? Oh, Karma..and Irony...I lubs me some you! My life is back on track, all in one piece and I can again be the "real" me. I also didn't want to just start over as a new member..I'm back to building houses, and I wanted to be able to still claim the ones for the Sims 2 I made. Thank you for the consideration.

~EDIT~ Okay...so my first story was the truth...I figure I better come back with a funny as well - since finding them on the web is okay - I saw this one on my FB page this morning...and my husband and I got a good laugh. I hope it helps..or at least brings a smile to a few faces!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~Medical distinction between Guts and Balls:
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically, speaking there is No difference in the outcome.

Both result in death.~


Posted Aug.30
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#28 Old 30th Aug 2013 at 6:08 PM
Quote: Originally posted by sinus
Requested username: munds

When we were small, my big sister - my only sibling - did all sorts of crazy stuff to me. Now when we are adults, she has told me about the Horrors of my Youth. I don't remember them myself, but my sister likes to recite them once in a while, preferably A) during a first-time meeting with a new boyfriend of mine or B) during the yearly Christmas dinner.
Here's three of them:

1) When my sister suffered from a cold, she tried all sorts of ways to infect me too, so that she needn't be home from school by herself.
2) When we each got a bag of candy from our parents, my sister first ate up her own and then came to me wanting to play dog-and-owner, which I loved. Owners use treats to teach their dogs tricks. Soon I was all out of candy.
3) My sister liked to punch me, because when I started to cry she liked consoling me.

And what did she grow up to be? A kindergarten teacher.


Posted Aug. 30.
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#29 Old 5th Sep 2013 at 2:41 PM
Quote: Originally posted by TheCantankerousUnicorn
Requested Username: Tanky
Reason for changing: Now this is a true story.
Circa 1999, Me, my mam and my gran were going on holiday (Jersey I think, I was about 1/2)
While we were waiting for our flight, we were at a cafe at the airport. My gran (who is a heavy smoker) asked my mam if she had time to go outside for a smoke and my mam said yes. So while she was away our flight got called so my mam ran down the steps with the pushchair with me in it, ran outside and got her, then practically ran through the airport to get to the gate. While at the gate my mam thought "I've left my bag in the cafe" so she ran back though the airport to said cafe where there was no bag.
So she went up to the girl behind the counter and asked about the bag, where the girl replied "it's been taken by security because it was a bomb hazard
So she called security, and my mam was escorted down to get the bag (bear in mind the plane has been waiting a while now) then was escorted on to the plane in front of all the people she had held up.

Then, on the return flight where I screamed the whole journey apart from the last half hour, the plane landed, then skidded across the runway, then across the grass in the middle, then stopped on the other runway.


And now, for the next lesson on how -not- to make friends.... XD
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#30 Old 12th Sep 2013 at 9:32 PM
Quote: Originally posted by reinmag
Requested username: Cloudwalker
Reason for changing: Because it's the name I use everywhere else and I'm old and confuse easily.

Funny, non-related story:
When my daughter was young she came downstairs with her shoes on the wrong feet. I pointed and said, "Honey, you've got your shoes on the wrong feet!" She looked up at me, huge blue, watery eyes, and said, "But Mommy these are the only feet I have!"

true story (apparently she got her brains from her father)


I like Cloudwalker better than reinmag, too.
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#31 Old 11th Oct 2013 at 4:32 PM
Quote: Originally posted by mizzbelle97
Requested username: simsdropacid
Reason for changing: knock knock..............tank.............you're welcome. (don't judge my knock knock joke)

This actually really important i made this account awhile back for mods and such but now i'm starting to upload poses and sims so i really want my MTS user to match my tumblr user in which i also post my CC. PLEASE help me when you get the chance.

☮ Peace ☮ | Llama | Happiness ^_^


sims drop acid? That would explain some of the weirder things they do. lol
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#32 Old 18th Oct 2013 at 8:31 PM
Quote: Originally posted by MDM
I'd like to change mine to JunJayMdM because that's the conventional name I use for my mods.

But what's that "JunJay" doing there? What's its meaning?

Well, when I was a kid, there was this guy, a drug addict that spent quite a few years in jail. He would come near us and start telling stories about him in jail and we just stood there listening to him. Now, don't think they were the kind of deep stories full of wisdom, in fact it was just a bunch of bull but it was fun. There was a recurrent theme in all those stories, in the end he was always the hero, the one who saved the day, and everytime he started describing the situation he compared himself to Rambo but he didn't call him Rambo, too easy! He called him "Rambo JunJay". Well...not really "junjay", cos he was probably going for "John J" or something like that. But we kids spelt it with a U cos that's how he spelt it too.

But wait, that's not why I chose it...

Years later, I had my first PC with internet and I needed to create my email. I spent 30 minutes trying nicknames I liked but everytime it was telling it's been taken. At a certain point I was so pissed I just wrote the first meaningless thing that came to mind and that was "junjay". Since then, I've always had all my email addresses with that word in it and just recently I decided to append it to MdM, the nick I've always used in forums and sites, because that guy got killed (you can imagine why) and I felt "JunJay" needed to be exposed in his memory!

I hope you enjoyed the story and if not, I'll call Rambo JunJay to teach you a lesson!!!


Oops, I missed that one. October 16.
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#33 Old 18th Oct 2013 at 8:32 PM
Quote: Originally posted by nonamena
Requested user name: NonaMena
Reason: Capital letters are underrated and need more love.

I'm not sure this is a funny story but it's the best I've got. Back when I was dating my husband, he came to visit me (we were living in separate countries at the time) and he cooked a really delicious spaghetti sauce from scratch. He made this huge sauce pan full of it. After we each had a plate of spaghetti, he left the basically still full pan of sauce on the stove to cool while we went to do other things. About 20 minutes later, he went back down stairs and my golden retriever was standing on his hind legs licking the pan CLEAN. There was literally nothing left. He ate all of that spaghetti sauce. Suffice it to say, husband was really mad, but I think my dog was really proud of himself.


October 17
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#34 Old 27th Oct 2013 at 7:42 PM
Quote: Originally posted by pondefloor
Requested username: Ujimushiko
Reason for changing: When I joined here nearly two years ago, I didn't think that I'd be coming around, and I'm known as Ujimushiko everywhere else.
A story: My Shiba Inu is so lazy and has so much extra fur around his face from his weight loss that when you say his name and he's laying down, he lifts his head up halfway but his extra facefur blocks his eyes so he can't see anything at all. He also likes to roll over and try to get pieces of kibble with his tongue because he doesn't want to move to eat.


Not sure if this one was funny enough or not, but it's better than just "I need my name changed please."
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#35 Old 27th Oct 2013 at 7:43 PM
Quote: Originally posted by gagafanu
Requested Name Sir wario
Reason for changing: Well.... I dont like gagafanu. I came up with it wheni was 5 when I made a roblox account whitch i dont use. Plus my cat just passed away and his name was Sir warioso i want to be nowen has Sir Wario


A memorial for a cat seems like a good reason to me. I hope it works.
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#36 Old 27th Oct 2013 at 7:48 PM Last edited by Ghost sdoj : 31st Oct 2013 at 7:31 PM.
Quote: Originally posted by SimGuruBob
Requested name:
MrDensilter

Reason for changing:
Many people said that I'm one of those SimGuru's in EA's Sims Studio but I'm not and it's really annoying.... why I'd choose this username in the first place ?? :P
I guess it's my dumb brain who picked it :P

Short Story:
Oil Shortage..
"There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an energy shortage here in the USA. Well, there's a very simple answer.
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for this is purely geographical.....
All the oil is in Oklahoma, Texas, and Louisiana. All the dipsticks are in Washington DC"


Please notify me if you've change my username or not... thanks


He edited to add a better story, so I changed it here.
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#37 Old 11th Nov 2013 at 6:43 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Blobfish
Requested username: Vampirwurst
Reason for changing: Well when I started creating or recolouring things for the sims. I hadn't an idea how to name me. I only knew that I wanted something special without numbers or signs in it. So I chose "Blobfish" because I saw an picture on the internet and i thought "yeah that would be funny. But it doesn't represent things im totally obsessed about. Some weeks later there was a family event with buffet.
You should know there was blackpudding and I really love it (with mustard and garlic, yummy). I asked my uncle to pass me the blackpudding. He filled my plate with pieces of blackpudding and said "There's your "Vampirwurst"" (We are german, so I'll explain the word Vampir=vampire Wurst=sausage).
Well and because I really like vampires and backpudding and liked the word and began to change my username on twitter, tumblr and diffrent boards to "Vampirwurst". A lot of people recognize me with this nick and that's great. I want this for modthesims too.

Joke:
Two chemicists came to bar. The first said "I want to have a glass of H2O". The second said "I want to have a glass of H2O, too". The first emptyed his glass. The second died.


That's a good one. :D
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#38 Old 13th Nov 2013 at 4:43 PM
Quote: Originally posted by rachelwielinga
Requested Username: WeeScottishRach

Reason for Changing: Realised I erred in registering with my real name.

Story:
Jock was out working the field when a barnstormer landed.
"I'll give you an airplane ride for £5," said the pilot.
"Sorry, cannae afford it," replied Jock.
"Tell you what," said the pilot, "I'll give you and your wife a free ride if you promise not to yell. Otherwise it'll be £10."
So up they went and the pilot rolled, looped, stalled and did all he could to scare Jock. Nothing worked and the defeated pilot finally landed the plane. Turning around to the rear seat he said, "Gotta hand it to you. For country folk you sure are brave!"
"Aye," said Jock "But ye nearly had me there when the wife fell oot!"


Good luck
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#39 Old 17th Nov 2013 at 10:18 PM
Quote: Originally posted by gothikax0x
Requested username: Nymphetamine
Reason for changing: Since I decided to actually try my hand at uploading things, I figure not having a name from a bout of insomnia whilst watching Gothika ( ugh, I know! ) would be nicer, as well as it matches up with all the other forums I am on.

Funny Story: (I'm from Nova Scotia, Canada - so no one else may find this funny ..)
Two Nova Scotian's and a Newf are running from the cops. They run into an alley and see a pile of sacks, which they decide to hide in. The cops follow them into the alley and kick the bag with the first man in it, who says "meow!" The cops go "Ah, it's just a bag full of cats." They kick the bag with the second man in it, and he goes "woof!" and they're like, "OK, dog in a bag, whatever." Then they kick the bag with the Newf in it, and he goes "potato!"


OK.... Good luck. (I don't find jokes like this one terribly funny, but whatever.)
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#40 Old 7th Dec 2013 at 5:14 PM
Quote: Originally posted by snoozlewudget
Requested username: Amarysauce
Reason for changing: I signed up to MTS ages and ages ago just to be able to download stuff. And I was younger and dumber. And stuff. And I'm not really a fan of snoozlewudget as a username anymore, especially without proper capitalisation. Nothing really interesting to it, I'm afraid, so here's one of my favourite terrible jokes:
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. He asks the bartender for some rum. The bartender says, "Sure thing, but do you realise you have a steering wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarr! 'Tis drivin' me nuts!"


snoozlewudget is a cute name, but I can understand wanting it changed. Good luck.
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#41 Old 8th Dec 2013 at 12:57 AM
And another one today:

Quote: Originally posted by levini
Requested username: CircusWolfDesigns
Reason for changing: (It doesn't have to be a funny story, does it?) My reason for changing my name is mostly because Levini is an older name from the land of me being super stupid and young. I chose this name as a ... I really don't remember, been that long, so I finally am deciding to end my year out and retire Levini as a Username

So for a funny type thing. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?Because they taste funny


Good luck.
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#42 Old 10th Dec 2013 at 11:18 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Devon99
Requested username: Pandora
Reason for changing: Just got bored of 'Devon99' xd
Funny Story: This summer when i went to Athens we stayed in a hotel.My cousin came with us.He took two suitcases.My mother was like: 'Niko you took two suitcases..we are staying in hotel only 4 days!' And Niko was like: 'This is a hotel?!'
(Not so funny story,so i included joke :/)
Joke:
A normally sweet Great Dane Psil has one quirk: she hates United Parcel Service drivers.
While walk Psil one day, around the corner of a house came a UPS man.
Struggling to keep hold of Psil, the owner tried to ease the situation said, "As you can see, he just loves UPS men."

"Don't you feed her anything else?" he responded.


Just in case my thread is -not- obsolete... Although the deletions do seem to have stopped.
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#43 Old 18th Dec 2013 at 8:27 PM Last edited by Ghost sdoj : 20th Dec 2013 at 1:45 PM.
Quote: Originally posted by piggypeach
Requested username: GhostKitten
Reason for change: piggypeach is something I came up with when I was quite young and I feel really ridiculous.




That spoilered image is actually part of the post.... Not sure how long it will be at it's hosting site, but it's cute.

Edit: This request was deleted by piggypeach.
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#44 Old 23rd Dec 2013 at 2:41 AM
Quote: Originally posted by dreamcatcher2009
Requested username: Countrykris
Reason for changing:
$2 bill at taco bell
-- Author unknown

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go."
Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?"
Me: "No, it's to go." At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.

Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
Manager: "No. A what?"
Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
Manager: "Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill."
Server: "Yeah, thought so."
He comes back to me and says, "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
Server: "I don't know."
Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"
Server: "Yeah."
Me: "So, why won't you take it?"
Server: "Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, "He says I have to take it."

Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."
Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here.
"Server: "What should I do?"
Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."
Server: "I can't tell him that! You tell him."
Manager: "Just tell him."
Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back."
The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night."
Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill."
Manager: "We don't take those, either."
Me: "Why not?"
Manager: "I think you know why."
Me: "No really... tell me why."
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "What on earth for?"
Manager: "Please, sir."
Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
Manager: "Would you please just leave?"
Me: "No."
Manager: "Fine -- have it your way then."
Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
Manager (whispering): "This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money."
Guard: "No kidding! What?"
Manager: "Get this... a two dollar bill."
Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?"
Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty."
Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's fake!"
Manager: "No, the two dollar bill is."
Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"
Manager: "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
Guard: "Yeah."
Security Guard walks over to me and...
Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
Me: "Uh, no."
Guard: "Lemme see 'em."
Me: "Why?"
Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I want to eat, so I say, "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill."

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says, "Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"

Manager: "It's fake."
Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."
Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill."
Guard: "Yeah... ?"
Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.

So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

This all made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too!


This was a great find!
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#45 Old 1st Jan 2014 at 6:49 AM
Quote: Originally posted by LillianAllen
Requested Username: BritannicStepanova
Reason: I am tired of LillianAllen. It is the name of the very first sim I ever made. I hate it now. It doesn't match me at all.
It also sounds to much like the singer Lily Allen.
Funny Joke:
A blonde joke (I'm Blonde XD)


There was a blonde who was sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer was naturally bored, so he kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him. The blonde was reluctant, so the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds. He told her that every time she could not answer his question, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50. The lawyer figured the blonde was so dumb, he could not lose, and the blonde thought for a few minutes and reluctantly accepted to play his game. The lawyer fires his first question "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. The blonde then asked the lawyer "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?" The lawyer's face looked extremely puzzled. He spent several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to figure out the answer. Finally, the angry and frustrated lawyer handed the blonde $50.00. The blonde put the $50 into her purse quickly without saying a word. The lawyer was outraged at this point and asked, "Well, what is answer?" The blonde glanced at him with a smirk on her face and handed him a $5 bill.


ROFL! (And Happy New Year)
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#46 Old 24th Jan 2014 at 1:19 AM Last edited by Ghost sdoj : 8th May 2014 at 1:20 PM.
Quote: Originally posted by XXXXX
Requested username: tsyokawe

Reason for changing: True story

About 8 or 9 winters ago, I was sitting at my computer posting at my favorite political site - when I got this incredible craving for chocolate. Well, it was after 2 in the morning, and being this is a university town, and it was a Friday night, I was worried that the streets would be crawling with drunks and other such jerks.

So, I rummaged through my late husband's clothes. You gotta understand, Tom was about my height, but had much larger waist and much shorter legs - his inseam was some 5 to 6 inches shorter. Well, putting on a pair of his jeans, and then using his Santa Claus suspenders to hold them up, it was like wearing a pair of really baggy capris.

I put on a pair of my thick fuzzy striped socks (cuz it was cold outside). I put on his big wool coat, and tucked my hair up into one of his trucker hats. And off I went.

I made it to the gas station/convenience store without meeting a soul. But inside, I'm trying to decide what candy I want; there's quite a selection. While I'm standing there, I hear someone come up beside me. I could see in my peripheral vision it was a man. I ignored him. After a short bit, he starts chuckling. I glance over. It's a cop.

He says: You tryin' to screw up the courage to rob the place?

I say: I'm only here for the chocolate.

He says: So what's with the costume, you comin' from a party?

I told him the truth: I came here on foot, and didn't wanna attract attention to myself.


Good one!
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#47 Old 28th Jan 2014 at 5:43 PM
Quote: Originally posted by AleksDahmer
Requested username: hamburgerdress

Reason for changing: http://media.tumblr.com/a76b91fc309...pwCM1qz4rgp.jpg just please let me change it im crying here

Edit: I'm also real tired of my current username. Anything is better than what it is now.


Yep. that's a hamburger dress, alright.
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#48 Old 28th Jan 2014 at 5:47 PM
Quote: Originally posted by lmills2
Requested username: AussomeDays

Reason for changing: Would like to have consistency between this site and other sim sites that I post at.

Funny Story: Well, this certainly isn't funny to me, but...my hubby initially created this account. Now that he's decided to turn into a crotchety old goat at 42, he's left me doing all of the work and only pipes in when he thinks he knows something that he doesn't. I'm retiring him to pasture so he can spend his days chewing up old cigarette butts.


Hi Aussome! Good luck with that.
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#49 Old 29th Jan 2014 at 7:30 PM
Quote: Originally posted by ZedzKay
Requested Username: Descanda
Reason for changing: I don't even know how I came to "ZedzKay", either drunk or tired at the time, and I like this

Funny story:
This is a story about four inhuman llama-hybrids named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was a MTS campfire trip to the French Alps, and Everybody was told to "read" their funny story or joke first. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it instead, as he was laughing too much from Seulaeri's blonde joke about handyman blondes. Anybody could have read it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got TOTALLY INFURIATED and DISGUSTED about that, because it was Everybody's job to do it. He only had a dead leg. Everybody thought Anybody would do it for him, because they are his best friend, but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done. Just to tell a funny "story".

And my favourite:

Ok, so one day a blonde, brunette and a redhead were trapped on a island. The brunette was wandering around in the sand dunes trying to look for food when she found a magical genie lamp. All of the girls gathered around when she rubbed the lamp. *POOF* and out came a genie.
The genie said. "I have three wishes for you. You each get one so it is fair. What would you like for your wish, Miss. Redhead?"
Then she replied, "I wish I can go back to my family in the country so they won't miss my great cooking..." Then in one second, *POOF* She was gone.
"What do you want to wish for, Miss. Brunette?" the genie asked.
" Um, I wish I can see my friends from school one last time." *POOF* She was gone too.
Then the genie asked," What do you want to wish for, "Mrs. Blonde?"
"Well, I feel really lonely now that my friends just went away...I wish I can get them back."
*POOF* The redhead and the brunette came back in less than a llama-second, and the blonde gave them a huge groupie hug. "I missed you so much!" She exclaimed.
"What did you wish for?" the brunette asked angrily.
"I felt really lonely so I wanted you guys back..." She said.
Before the redhead and the brunette could retaliate, the genie vanished with a smile.


Both old, but good and well told.
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
Ghost sdoj
Site Helper
Original Poster
#50 Old 30th Jan 2014 at 3:56 PM
Quote: Originally posted by sweetwitch01
Requested Username: Rainicorn
Reason for changing: I was young and foolish (I still am but that's not the point) when I got that nickname. I would like to change it to mature one .
Since I'm not funny or creative, I'll tell you a really funny joke I found from the internet.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator


Rainicorn...I like it. Good luck
I am Ghost. My husband is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count.
Group for Avatar Makers* Funny Stories *2017 Yearbook
 
Page 2 of 3
Back to top