Mod The Sims - View Single Post - The Scumthorpe Files

'It's rather small.'

'Indeed. But when she bought it, she didn't need a whole lot of space, I suppose.'

*BANG BANG BANG BANG*

'Hello Wednesday. We'd like to come in.'

'...I don't think Indigo wants to see you...'

'We have something important to discuss with her.'

'W-Well, I still don't think she'll be interested -'

'- Then we won't take up much of her time, so the sooner you let us in, the sooner we can leave.'

'....Alright.'

♪ I've broken once, and got up again, ♪
♪ I've broken twice - it was the same. ♪

'Oh my God!'

♪ But despite all that, I'm now reaching my end, ♪
♪ It seems like I cannot turn back ♪ -

'What the fuck, who the hell - oh great. It's the cuntpocalypse.'

'Good grief, your language is appalling!'

'Remind me later to give a fuck.'

'Indigo, for goodness' sake! Now then, if you can watch your manners long enough, this is Mayor Farrington -'

'- Believe me, I already know who cueball head is.'

'And these two are Mr Richard and Quinn Fortescue.'

'I presume you're feeling under the weather today.'

'No, I'm always this arsey to disgusting people.'

'...You are making an appalling first impression.'

'That's nice. Now get out.'

'Why is Larry Scumthorpe naked in that painting?'

'Because I'm being paid to do it. That's the last time I take a commission from a drunk guy.'

'...Has there been some kind of mistake?'

'...No. There's no mistake.'

'Look, I'm not doing anything with Abraxas here. Get the fuck out, I've got two toddlers upstairs and I don't want him anywhere near them.'

'That person has a sick mind.'

'I thought we would be meeting someone classy. And this is what you offer?'

'I'm so sorry.'

'Are you going to piss off, or what?'

'No.'

'Fine then.'

*SHOVE*

*SLAM*

'Indigo!'

'Wed, take the kids out for a bit while I see with this prick wants, huh?'

'Oh, um... W-Will you be okay...?'

'Open this door right now!'

'I'll be fine, go on.'

'...I'm sure we've just come at a bad time. Women can be so irritable at that time of the month.'

'Time of the month...? Is she a werewolf?!'

'...He's making a period joke. And believe me Tate, if I was on my period I'd have shoved my tampon down your throat by now.'

'What on earth do you think you're playing at?!'

'Well, I was working a commission until you and your buddies barged your way in.'

'I mean, locking me in the bathroom!'

'Toddlers. Needed to. Leave. Go somewhere. You can't hit them.'

'...What?!'

'Hit them?'

'Oh yeah, Abraxas likes hitting his kids from toddlerhood onwards -'

'- How dare you! Look, this is not what we're here for, just be quiet and let us talk, and then we can leave.'

'Fine, say your piece and get lost.'

'...Quinn needs a bride, and Mr Gore has volunteered you for the task.'

'...Is this some kind of fucking joke?'

'No. No it is not. Mr Fortescue - Richard, that is - is looking for a woman of childbearing age from an upper class background. You fit the bill. Albeit on paper.'

'I'm not upper class, though. I'm working class.'

'You're a Gore! We are the social elite.'

'Is that what you call it? I'm living off the money that I earn myself, therefore, working class.'

'I had presumed with your family's status that you would have at least some decency. That doesn't appear to be the case, however. Are we wasting our time here?'

'Yep, bye!'

'No! You're not, I assure you. She is quite obviously rough on the outside, but this is the perfect outcome for everyone. This can work. With a little adjustment, she will make Quinn the perfect wife.'

'Yeah, I'm super eligible deep down.'

'You are.'

'Right.'

'They just need to spend a little time together, that's all.'

'Precisely! And she's not a werewolf, but she is a supernatural. A genie, to be precise. Very useful around the house. and Indigo, think about it. You're a grown woman, it's time you settled down and got married to a nice man. And who's nicer than Quinn?'

'Certainly not you, that's for sure.'

'I may be biased, but Quinn is an exemplary young man. He would be nothing but kind to you. In return, we expect you to be equally kind and, importantly, patient.'

'And plus, you would be able to look after the girls better. Move into a larger house, have more care for them, that sort of thing. It'd benefit you as well as Quinn. Although of course, I would be more than happy to take them back in. Annalise and I miss them.'

'Jam it up your ass, I'd be more likely to go through with this fucking marriage thing if it kept you away from Jez and Aura.'

'Oh, come on.'

'I'm not a total bitch. Other than to these two, because I really, really hate them.'

'...I'm glad to hear it. Your sisters would be welcome too. I suppose there is potential here yet.'

'Fantastic! So we're all done here?'

'Of course, we will need to hold further discussions, but if Quinn is in agreement...?'

'Yes. I-If Indigo doesn't mind me...'

'Well, I would've preferred it if Abraxas hadn't picked out a guy for me, but could be worse.'

'She's more enthusiastic than she sounds, I know her. She tends to keep her excitement suppressed.'

'I'm nice, I promise...'

'Ah yes, are you a virgin? I would prefer it if you were, but we can make do, if not.'

'...That's absolutely none of your business.'

'She is.'

'How do you know? I haven't lived in Devil's Port for ages now, I could've had a brief relationship already. There's plenty of single guys here, after all.'

'...I'll choose to take Mr Gore's word for it.'

'Good idea, if I do say so myself. So perhaps we should go and discuss plans for the wedding at a slightly less cramped venue?'

'Yes, we shall have to arrange a meeting at our house.'

'Wonderful. I'm glad we've finally reached a resolution.'

'Well if that's all done, I'd like to go back to my painting.'

'...Ah, yes. We will leave you to... that. In the future, however, such filth will not be tolerated.'

'This is my job. I don't have the luxury of picking which commissions to take. And anyway, it's pretty hypocritical to be so offended by drawn porn, yet be perfectly okay having a real life porn star as a bestie.'

'Indigo!'

'What?!'

'You... didn't know? Abraxas is a porn star, has been for years -'

'- Alright I think it's time to go now.'

'You can Google his name, if you want. I mean, I really wouldn't recommend it, but it'd prove I'm being honest.'

'She's right, you know... He made a video with Mrs Farrington...'

'How would you know that?!'

'...I think we're going wildly off-topic here.'

'Oh my fucking God. The poor woman doesn't deserve that.'

'..........So. Our children are happily engaged, now all we need to do is get those kids down the aisle.'

'...Indeed. Let's be going, shall we?'

'...Yeah, bye.'

'Glad we got this sorted out.'

'Hey Wed, it's safe to come home now when you and the girls get hungry. Abraxas has officially made his next move against me, and I can't decide if it's funny or infuriating.'

'Try not to worry about it though, okay? As gross as the old man is, I think he may have unwittingly given me a golden opportunity.'

'And if I can pull this off, I can really fuck with him...'

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