HOOOOOLY SHIT I AM SO SORRY IT'S TAKEN ME THIS LONG TO UPDATE
Also thanks to Nat for providing some of the screenshots for me. But what feels like a year after the last update, here's finally some more of the wedding!
'Hello, everyone... Sorry, I'm not very good at speeches... Honestly, I'm not good at a lot of things. I'm awkward, and shy... which is part of why I'm only just getting married at thirty-nine.'
'In fact, I had almost given up on the idea of ever getting married at all. I didn't think I could find someone who would accept all of my flaws. Someone who doesn't mind me the way I am. But then Indigo came along. She's been so kind to me, even when I haven't deserved it. And I think part of why she's so understanding of me is because she is so, unashamedly herself. She is unique, and doesn't let anybody try to change her. Indigo is brave enough to always stand up and defend her right to be her, and... and I think that's admirable.'
'She's taught me that it's okay to be different, and I think she's helped me be a better person. So... that's why I look forward to this marriage and our lives together. I think we'll both continue to grow together, but still do things our own way, and I hope we'll be very happy for years to come. I thank her for being amazing, and I'm glad she's part of my life. Thank you.'
'Hello everyone, we're Lesbian by Popular Demand and we're here to play you some music this evening!'
'What did he say the band was called?'
'Lesbian By Popular Demand, by the sounds of it.'
'What a silly name.'
'I quite like it.'
'Well, first up we've got Surprise Surprise.'
♪ You got the look, but not the credit, ♪
♪ They wrote the book, on how to sell it, ♪
♪ From cigarettes, to skinny jeans, ♪
♪ You got the money? They got the means. ♪
♪ All you upper class daughters, and working class sons, ♪
♪ It's hard to save a dollar, the way the world runs, ♪
♪ You're the target market of a corporate joke, ♪
♪ It won't be so ironic when your daddy is broke! ♪
♪ Surprise surprise, surprise surprise, ♪
♪ You're much better looking when you're in disguise, ♪
♪ Surprise surprise, surprise surprise, ♪
♪ And this revolution has been brought to you by... ♪
♪ Just find a stamp, so you can mimic, ♪
♪ The tortured artist, the jaded cynic, ♪
♪ The latest gadget, is just a gimmick, ♪
♪ Another sucker, born every minute. ♪
♪ Well I'm sick of this town, bringing me down, ♪
♪ A first world epidemic all around, ♪
♪ I'm sick of this town, bringing me down, ♪
♪ A lost generation trying to act profound. ♪
♪ All you upper class daughters, and working class sons, ♪
♪ It's hard to save a dollar the way the world runs, ♪
♪ We got a counterculture you can buy off a shelf, ♪
♪ If you're losing your identity, try somebody else! ♪
♪ Surprise surprise, surprise surprise, ♪
♪ You're much better looking when you're in disguise, ♪
♪ Surprise surprise, surprise surprise, ♪
♪ And this revolution has been brought to you by... ♪
♪ Those who seem to think we don't care, ♪
♪ And those who seem to think we're not aware, ♪
♪ Surprise surprise, surprise surprise, ♪
♪ You're much better looking when you're in disguise! ♪
♪ Call the ranks... ♪
♪ Call the ranks... ♪
♪ Call the ranks... ♪
♪ All you working class daughters, and upper class sons, ♪
♪ It's hard to save a dollar the way the world runs, ♪
♪ We're the target market of a corporate hoax, ♪
♪ Our generation is a fucking joke! ♪
♪ Surprise surprise, surprise surprise, ♪
♪ You're much better looking when you're in disguise, ♪
♪ Surprise surprise, surprise surprise, ♪
♪ And this revolution has been brought to you by... ♪
♪ Those who seem to think we don't care, ♪
♪ And those who seem to think we're not aware, ♪
♪ Surprise surprise, surprise surprise, ♪
♪ You're much better looking when you're in disguise! ♪
'Oh good God.'
'We've got a few songs for you tonight, so get yourselves a drink, sit back and relax while we do that!'
'That sounds like a great fuckin' idea! Hey Mum, give us an orange juice or somethin' will ya?'
'Get your own drink, you lazy shit.'
'Yeah, I guess you can't really walk around much in that thing, huh? Not without gettin' arrested.'
'Your... attire is entirely inappropriate for this kind of event. Have you no shame?'
'No, I ain't, shame don't exist in our house. I do have pretty nice fuckin' tits, though.'
'Citation needed.'
'You need to find a different outfit, immediately. This kind of... debauchery has no place at a wedding.'
'Did you know she was going to wear... this?'
'No actually, I went through the LLAMA first. Mum got held up 'cause the dogs were harassin' her. They good dogs. Believe me, the last thing I wanna look at is her Goddamn Spaniel's ears, but here we are.'
'...Spaniel's ears?'
'Yeah, y'know, when tits get real saggy they flop like a pair of -'
'- Cheers, Evi!'
'...Maybe you should go back and put something a touch more covering on.'
'Yeah, I'm kinda feelin' the urge to get the dogs to crap in your bed or somethin' if you don't.'
'Oh, fine, fine.'
'...That's a relief. I must admit, I was uncomfortable.'
'You weren't the only one.'
'I'm guessin' that means my dear ole mum ain't made it onto your invites list.'
'Not really! What dogs do you have?'
'A pug called Twattycake, a husky called Fart an' a German Shepherd called Queef.'
'...I see.'
'...Those poor dogs don't deserve such names.'
'They don't care. Hey, you wanna come over again sometime soon, they miss droolin' on you.'
'I think I'll pass, thank you!'
'I'd go, I wouldn't mind being drooled on. I love dogs.'
'Well, shit, maybe you oughta come over sometime then. Well, maybe. You might get mauled by my little sister, an' all. She's a werewolf an' thinks shes a dog too. So. Yeah.'
'Remember when she humped your leg?'
'I'm trying not to.'
'Do werewolves often hump people's legs?'
'...No.'
'In fairness, she's still a li'l kid. She got Mum banned from the park once 'cause she took a shit on the grass.'
'Mm, it happens. But we grow out of it!'
'You didn't seem to grow out of belly rubs, though.'
'Oh, God, Topaz is such a pain.'
'Sisters are. Case in point.'
'Hey, don't try to put him off me. I do a good enough job of that myself!'
'That's what siblings are for, man! Annoyin' people is one of my favourite things to do, especially my family.'
'You're quite good at it, too.'
'It just ain't been the same since you moved, I miss annoyin' you in person.'
'I don't.'
'Gonna go get my own drink, back in a minute.'
'I think I'll check in on Tony and Anstine for a minute.'
'So what do we think of him?'
'He seems nice. But it's weird as hell seeing her like that.'
'Oh, I think it's adorable!'
'Like what? I don't get it.'
'Blushy and giggly. It never happens.'
'She likes him. Don't say anything, though.'
'Oh, sure. I'll be quiet.'
'That makes a change.'
'Hey, y'know who else is weird to see all blushy an' giggly? You. Seems like the romance bug well an' truly snared you over the past year too, eh?'
'Shush, you.'
'You're all terrible.'
'Couldn't you have found some more traditional musicians? I'm sorry, but this is rather dire.'
'I requested it, but I was overruled.'
'Please tell me you're not going to complain about the music all night. I might have to sit somewhere else if that's the case.'
'I'm just saying, you don't go to a wedding to listen to this rubbish.'
'Well, you don't have to stay. You've seen the ceremony, the actual important part and you know where the door is, so feel free to go. Quinn and I mutually agreed on the band. Deal with it or go.'
'Oh, fine.'
'Thank you. I love rock and metal, personally, and she knows it.'
'I like you more and more.'
'Don't you just love a good wedding?'
'I know I do.'
'W-What do you want?!'
'We wanted to remind you to be a good boy.'
'I haven't done anything wrong, so if you'll just let me go-'
'No, no, we're not finished yet!'
'I'd consider accepting a bribe from Nyla's ex and allowing him to intimidate her "something wrong", wouldn't the rest of you?'
'We know, Tate. And we told you to leave. Her. Alone.'
'We had made that clear, or so I thought. Perhaps another round with a baseball bat might make the message stick?'
'You've got no proof.'
'Don't get smart with us. You know just as well as we do that we're right. Now since this is a wedding and we're all dressed formally, we'll leave you looking presentable. Or at least, as presentable as that face can be. But don't push your damn luck any further. You can ask your buddy Abraxas what a human tooth tastes like. He experienced it personally.'
'Oh yeah! Ever had a healthy tooth pulled out with pliers and no anaesthetic?'
'Please... don't.'
'Then promise you won't do anything else to Nyla, and stick to it this time.'
'It would be very smart to listen to them. Because this is your last warning. You and I used to be in the same line of work, if you catch my drift. If you mess up one more time, I will personally come out of retirement. I hope you understand what I mean.'
'...I promise.'
'Good.'
'Is that it now, boys?'
'I guess we shouldn't hog the bathroom much longer. Pity.'
'I think we got the message across.'
'Shame he was already pissing, otherwise I bet he'd have pissed himself.'
'Good job, boys. I believe I owe you all a drink.'