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#1 Old 29th Dec 2007 at 3:04 PM
Default cassie's writing.
1.

Untitled


Footsteps echo along the ground,
they stop and barely make a sound,
for they know what goes on,
when no-one’s around.

the screams send shivers down everyone’s spine,
yet no-one seems to mind,
they walk on by,
as if nothing ever happened.

of course it would be denied,
just to keep the sanity,
though some weren’t ever sane,
but to protect and keep him safe.

he is dangerous they say,
don’t go near him,
but what about his prey,
the ones that don’t know any better.

they suffer with his angst,
who knows what happens in there,
but they come out different,
or they don’t come out at all...

Cass, 22, Australia
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#2 Old 3rd Feb 2008 at 8:38 AM
My Regret

walking through what seems like an eternity of pain,
i cry grey tears and bleed loss,
bittersweet feelings of angst and remorse,
stick with me in this hell,
a rollercoaster ride of shallow feelings and new touches,
excitement and fear flow through me at the same time,
as equals, walking side by side,
the rush that never ends is breaking,
leaving a stone hard trail of lust,
hand in hand i walk with jealousy,
craving a sense of fullfillment,
cupid is the devil,
sending feelings of love and hate seconds after each other,
i fear death, but look forward to it at the same time,
i never cared about wrong very much,
as no question has a right answer,
i have undergone changes,
but for what?
a suped up ego and labels.

this is my life

Cass, 22, Australia
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#3 Old 3rd Feb 2008 at 10:49 AM
Decendent of

The sun kissed my face as I wondered out into the meadow.
Butterflies flying freely in the air without a care in the world.
Birds danced and sang as I sat down on the lush green grass.

But that is just a memory now.

All I see is darkness and a willingness to give up.
Ash has crumbled my dreams.
Soot lies where I once sat.
Nothing is alive.
I am merely an imprint of what used to be.
Walking, a lost soul, tragically mistaken.
The fires burn before my eyes.
The sky has darkened, turned black by the imortality of slaves.
It starts to fade.
Everything is disappearing before my eyes.
I fade too, slowly until there is nothing left.

O Caiside

Cass, 22, Australia
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#4 Old 4th Feb 2008 at 8:58 AM
This is a story I wrote a little while back... a little dodgy it is.



Ri



It was a rainy Monday morning.
The bus shelter was crowded as it was the first day back to school. I didn't know anyone. I was the new girl that got pushed around. I'd only been here for 5 minutes and I was shoved into someone else. The bus finally arrived and I was pushed to the ground, mud splashing all over my new school dress.

"Do you want a hand?" Asked a tall, dark, handsome male.
"Y-yes t-thanks."
He helped me up and as I stood up I realised he wasn't that tall, in fact shorter than me and I'm only 1.67m tall, his hair was dark but he had about an inch of blonde regrowth and his face was a streaky orange colour. Most probably from a fake tan.
"Thanks," I said.
I must be seeing things, I mumbled to myself.
As I got on the bus I realised that most people already had friends and all of the seats were filled.
The only seat left was one next to the hottest guy I had ever seen. I walked over to him and asked "Is this seat taken?"
He looked up at me and shook his head no.
I sat down and started to talk.
"So, what's your name?"
He didn't answer.
"Hello?"
Still no answer.
"Excuse me! I politely asked you a question. The least you could do would be to answer me!"
"Sorry, but I can't hear a word you're saying as I'm listening to my iPod." He said
I could feel my face going beetroot red.
"So; what were you saying?" He asked.
"I asked what your name was."
"My name is Richard, but people just call me Ri. What's your name?"
"Brianna O'Conner," I said.
"That's a pretty name."

The bus arrived at school.
"What year are you in?" I asked Ri.
"Year 10. You?"
"Same! I'm in 10I." I exclaimed.
"Yeah me too. Since I know where to go I'll walk you in."
"Thanks!"

First day of school was good. I made lots of different friends. Ri was really nice. He showed me where everything was.
He's very cute too.
¬¬¬¬¬¬
That night I lay in bed reading. As I put own my book I heard a roll of thunder in the distance.
Great! I love storms! I thought to myself.
I saw a flash of lightning. Obviously it wasn't too far away. As the rain started to pour I went and opened the window and I saw a figure standing out in the middle of the road.
I went outside with a torch to see who it was.
"Hello?"
"Hello? Who's that?" Said the figure.
"It's Brianna. Who are you?"
"Brianna O'Conner? It's Ri."
"I didn't know we lived in the same street! Come inside and meet my parents." I said.

As we turned back to go inside I heard a dull thump behind me. I turned around and Ri was lying crumpled on the road.
I rushed over to him and I started to panic.
"Oh my God! What am I supposed to do?" I said aloud.
I decided to try and give him CPR, but not knowing what I was doing was proving difficult.
I started to do mouth-to-mouth. Luckily this worked and Ri started to breathe again.
"Ri! Are you ok?" I asked him.
"I'm sure I'll be fine now thanks to you."

We ended up going inside and Ri met my parents.
"Ri this is my mum Regina, and my dad, William." I said.
"Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. O'Conner."
"Oh please just call us by our first names Ri. We feel so old getting called Mr. and Mrs O'Conner." Said my mum.

Ri ended up staying for a late night snack, then we all went to his house and met his dad. (His mum and dad are divorced)
His dad Clint, seemed really nice.
That night Ri and I played his XBOX until we both fell asleep on their couch.


Next day at school I met up with Ri at recess as he had to go to the doctors in the morning.
"How was your appointment?" I asked him.
"It was alright. I had to have a scan and that cost a bit." He replied.
"That's no good. Was it a scan to see what went wrong yesterday?"
"Yes and no. We knew what happened, just not why." Ri said.
"Really. Do you have an illness or something?" I asked.
"Sorta. I have a bad lung and I need to go into surgery for it soon." He replied.
"Really? Will everything be alright?"
"We don't know. Maybe. Hopefully. But there is a possibility I might die." He said.
"Oh my God really? Is it a big possibility?" I asked.
"50 - 50." Ri replied. I hadn't known Ri for long but I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes.
"Do you think you'll survive?" I asked; holding back tears.
"Well, I can't say for sure. I suppose it all depends on my surgeon. Are you about to cry?"
"Is it that obvious?" I asked with a small smile.
"Aw, come here you." He said and pulled me into a bear hug.
I don't remember much after that. It's a bit of a blur.

That night Ri and I went swimming. He only told me after our last race (which he flogged me at) that he does trained swimming.
It was fun though.

After we went swimming we went back to Ri house and had a BBQ with his dad. I enjoyed myself. I think of him as a dad (in-law!) now, because Ri and I are so close.

The next week went really fast, with Ri and me going to the movies and Ri celebrating his 17th Birthday. He had a huge party and invited heaps of people.
Ri got a bit drunk and started to kiss me. He was such a great kisser. As it’s my luck, just at that moment a fight broke out so I had to go and help him break it up.
We ended up going home in the early hours in the morning. It was a great night. Sometimes I wish that people could turn 17 more often.

On Wednesday something terrible happened. Ri was rushed to hospital after he had what seemed like an asthma attack. As soon as I found out I went to the office and called Mum.
"Hello, Regina speaking," Mum said a she answered the phone.
"Hi Mum, it's me Brianna. Can you come and pick me up and take me to the hospital please?" I asked her.
"Why?"
"Because Ri's in there." I said.
"Oh my God! What with his bad lung? I'll be up there in five minutes."
"Yeah. Thanks Mum. See you soon."
"Bye."

Five minutes later Mum arrived at school and we left for the hospital. The conversation in the car was little.

When we arrived at the hospital I rushed through the doors and saw Clint waiting in the foyer.
"Is Ri ok?" I asked.
As I asked him this a tear fell onto his cheek.
"Oh my God. It's not good is it?"
Clint shook his head, no.
I suddenly couldn't help it. Emotion overwhelmed me and I couldn't stop the tears.
"W-where is h-he?" I asked Clint.
"In room 149. Down the hall and to the left." Clint said.

Mum and I went straight to where Ri was and opened the door.
"Ri!!" I exclaimed as I walked in and saw the state he was in. There were tubes coming out of everywhere. I could hardly look at him.
He had bandages around his waist and chest which I presumed were from his lung surgery.
I tried to remember him as the young, happy, smiling teenager that he was at his birthday. The image was lost.
"Hey babe." Ri whispered.
"How are you?" I asked.
Ri laughed.
"As well as I can be."
"Aww I don't want you to die!"
"Who said anything about dying?"
"But!"
"Hush. I don't want to think about it now."
"Oh Ri. You're so gorgeous."
"I'm going to miss you, Brianna."
"Me too. I'm going to miss you so much!"
Right then we shared a bear hug.
It seemed like forever when we finally broke apart.
Ri's doctor came in.
"I'm sorry Ri but you only have an estimated time of 20 minutes left." He said.
At that I cried even harder.
"It's okay babe." Ri said. "You know you have really pretty green eyes."
"Thanks." I said.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

"Babe before I go I have to tell you something." Ri said.
"Yeah sure. What is it?" I asked.
"You probably won't like this. I am actually gay." He said.
My heart fell.
"R-really?"
"Yeah. I don't want you to have a bad last memory of me or anything, I'd just hate for you to not know."
"I still love you though." I said.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

I now sit but Ri's bedside, listening to his lung collapse; I feel my whole world collapse around me.

Cass, 22, Australia
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#5 Old 4th Feb 2008 at 9:07 AM
Another story I wrote... But more recent

Amo il mio fratello

Day 1

I looked around me, taking in the sight of the burning plane parts for the first time. The noise of the crying children sent shivers down my spine. What had happened? I asked myself. I looked to the nearest couple who were just as shocked as I was. It then hit me. I remembered the pilot’s shaking voice as he announced we were going to crash. I ran to the young couple and helped the woman up. She was pregnant.
“What happened?” She asked me in a whisper.
“I don’t know, but we have to find as many people as we can and get them to safety. Especially the young children and pregnant women,” I answered.
The man came with me to help round up the children.
“Where are your parents?” I asked them.
The eldest looking boy answered.
“We don’t know. We were separated from them when we crashed,” he replied.
“Follow me then,” I commanded to the group.
They all followed me. People say that children are supposed to be happy and loud, but they were the complete opposite that day. The silence was unnerving. I guess that death has that effect on people. There were so many bodies lying around even I was beginning to feel queasy.
Whilst we were walking I got to know the man with me and he seemed familiar.
“Have I met you before? What is your name?” I asked him.
“No, I don’t think so. I can’t remember your face from anywhere. I was christened Oliver but now I’m known as Michael,” he replied.
“I’m sure I know you from somewhere Michael,” I urged.
“Well, I don’t remember you so just drop it ok?” He snapped back at me.
“Fine,” I said turning away from him, moving to speak to one of the children.

I caught up with the oldest who seemed to be about 16.
“Hello, who were you here with?” I asked him.
“My father,” he replied, not looking at me.
“I’m sure he’ll be ok,” I said to him.
He looked up at me with teary eyes.
“Yeah, he will. He’s a fighter,” he said, turning back to the rest of the group.

I lead the group through the thick underbrush, pulling back the branches as I went.
A young girl about 6 years old came over to me and hugged me. I’m not used to affection. When I was 4, my mother abandoned my older brother and I, leaving us in the cold to fend for ourselves. We were put in separate foster homes and I was told that my brother killed himself only 3 years later when he was 14. Now 23 years later, I’m 30 and he would’ve turned 37 this year. He was my idol, the one I always looked up to. Then when he committed suicide, I had no one. My foster family didn’t care about me. I ran away when I was 16 and fended for myself in a homeless shelter, scabbing food out of bins when I could. I considered doing the same thing that my brother did, and take my life. The only thing that stopped me from doing it was the fact that I met my best friend Shayla at the shelter, and she talked me out of it.

”Tia, where are we taking these children?” Michael asked.
I turned around and scowled at him.
“You want to know me now, do you?” I replied.
“Yes. I’m sorry for the way I acted before but I assure you, we’ve never met before.” He said.
“Well, I’ve decided to take them inland. There might be a chance that the others took off into the bush before the rest of us came round.” I said.
“Oh, ok. That’s a good idea,” he said, agreeing with me.
“I know,” I said, flouncing off.

We rejoined the children and kept walking. About 2 kilometres from the coast we stumbled upon a hut, which seemed to have been abandoned for many years. Michael and I went inside for a closer look. It smelled musty, like something really old, yet put away into a safe place and never taken out.
There was a bed in the corner. I went over to investigate and I pulled back the sheet. There looking up at me was the skull of a human.
“Argh!” I yelled, jumping back from the bed.
“What is it?” Michael asked, coming over to me.
“A-a s-skull.” I stammered.
We walked outside, taking the children as far away from the hut as we could.
We made camp that night under the dense trees near the beach. The children slept in the middle with all of the remaining adults on the outside.

Day 2
We woke up to the sound of screaming. Michael’s wife was going into labour.
“Tia! Come and help me!” Michael yelled from beside his wife.
“But I don’t know what to do!” I exclaimed.
“It doesn’t matter! Just help me!” He pleaded.
“Ok, ok,” I said.
I rushed over to her, ripping my jacket off as I went.
“When did your contractions start?” I asked her.
“I don’t know, but it was a while ago,” she wheezed.
“Ok, we need to keep you comfortable and then when you feel it start to come out we need you to push real hard for us,” I said.
“O-ok,” she choked out through tears.
She started to push.
“Arrggghh!” She moaned.
“I didn’t ask you but what is her name?” I asked Michael.
“Arnaya,” He replied.
“Arnaya? You are going to have to be brave now and push really, really hard.”
“I can’t push any harder!” She yelled.
A screeching sound came from the end of Arnaya. Her baby girl had just entered the world. I wrapped the baby in my jacket and handed her to Arnaya.
“She’s beautiful,” I said to her.
“Thank you so much Tia, we couldn’t have done it without you,” Michael said to me.
“I’m glad to help. I can’t wait until I can settle down and have children,” I said.
“Well this can be the second best thing. Say hello to your niece,” Michael said.
“I can’t be her ‘aunty’, I don’t even know you guys properly,” I said to him.
“But you are. I am your brother, Ollie,” he said, “remember when I told you I was christened Oliver? I thought you would’ve clicked after you said you knew me.”
“B-but they t-told me you c-committed s-suicide,” I stammered.
“Is that what they told you? I wondered why you never came to visit me anymore.”
“Why didn’t you tell me when I thought I remembered you?” I asked.
“Because I didn’t know whether I wanted it to be true or not. We’d been separated for so many years; I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”
Oh my God I thought to myself. I’ve wanted my real brother to be alive for so long and now? He’s different to what I remember.
“Are you ok?” Michael asked me.
“Y-yes, I’m fine,” I said. ”What are you going to call her?”
“Mia, the ‘ia’ after you, and the ‘M’ after my darling husband,” Arnaya said, finally getting back into the conversation.
“Aww! That’s such a privilege! Thank you so much!” I said.
“It’s the least I could do after you not knowing Michael for so long,” she said. “I hope that when we get off this Island we can still keep in touch.”
“Yes, I’d really like that. Where abouts do you live?” I asked them.
“We live in Geelong,” Michael said.
“I live in Melbourne with my boyfriend. Maybe you could come down every second weekend so that Mia gets to know her real aunty,” I said.
“Yeah, that would be great,” Michael said.
“Little Mia,” I said tickling her cheek.

Day 3

There was a buzzing, like that of a helicopter. Bright lights flooded the beach.
“We’re going to be saved!” I heard someone yell.
There were cries of joy as people ran around trying to gather up their possessions.
But then I realised that it was not a friendly sort of buzzing. It was coming nearer and faster as if stopping was never an intention. I think I saw it first. The Iraqi flag on the side of it. I saw the bullets being fired thick and fast. This time it was cries of pain and terror. Then the finale fell, the bomb that would wipe us all out. I was clinging to Mia as hard as I could, Michael and Arnaya had already been hit. I kissed the top of her bald head.
“I love you Mia,” I said.
The darkness was instantaneous.

Cass, 22, Australia
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#6 Old 4th Feb 2008 at 9:40 AM
arh nice... very creative

This is the way you left me,I'm not pretending. No hope, no love, no glory, No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love, Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,But not together.
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Original Poster
#7 Old 5th Sep 2008 at 1:48 PM
why is it,
when you find someone so utterly perfect for yourself,
you give up all that you had.
all those stable things that guarantee your happiness,
you give it all up.

you become unstable,
and the thing you relied on,
becomes unreliable.
you start to stumble.
and you fall.

i fell.
i fell hard.
i fell into the arms of someone unreliable.

i put all of my faith and love into you,
for it only to be thrown back into my face when she came back.

once upon a time i was too smart for this.
none of this worried me.
because noone would have me.

was it in a time of complete desperation and need that you sanctioned me?
or were you just looking for someone to fxck up?
oh yeah, you fxcked me up.
you fxcked me up big time.

no, i dont hate you.
i couldnt hate you.
i hate myself for loving you.
for still loving you to this day.
i hate the fact that you are always on my mind.
i hate that everytime i think of you i smile.
i hate that i kept the poems you wrote,
and the script that you modified.
i hate that when i read these they fill me with emotions,
but what i hate the most is that the emotions arent ones of hatred.
they are ones of happiness.
happiness that you are so adorable.
happiness of the memories of those nights.
happiness of what i felt when you sent them too me.

i shouldnt love you
i shouldnt because i think you used me.
but i do.
i still feel so much for you.
but, its unrequited isnt it?
you dont love me.
you love her.

what does she have that i dont?
closeness? a sense of realness?
she used you.
she fxcked you over.
she is full of promises with no substance
oh but you believe all that she's told you.
you must be more gullible than what i am.

ive changed.
ive changed so much.
you changed me.
i hate thinking of how you hurt.
so i hurt myself.
in some ways ive changed for the better.
mostly not though.
i no longer have direction.
you flood my mind with thoughts of you.
thoughts that i long to make real.

there was a point in time;
one moment,
one hour,
one day,
that i was completely happy.
and that was the moment that you told me you loved me.

i dont want to lose our friendship.
after all; i made promises that i intend to keep.
i just dont know if i can keep on seeing,
seeing what a superficial idiot you chose over me.
friend whore.
thats all she is.
never can keep a friend for longer than a week.
she managed to hold onto you though didnt she.
there are other people out there.
maybe not only me,
but not her.
not her.
dont commit yourself fully to her.
what you think is love may or may not be true.
you said you loved me.
was that as superficial as what she is?
i dont get it.
i honestly dont.
there must be something that noone else can see.
you said to me, once upon a time,
that you didnt want just a casual relationship,
that you wanted someone you could marry, have kids and grow old with.
i dont think she's in it for the long run.
you need someone who wont dump you at the slightest show of suicide.
she left you.
she left you when you were weak.
you couldnt deal with that shxt too.
i know you better than she thinks i do.
is this really what you want?

i know you want me to be completely honest with you,
but i cant.
i just cant.
im a coward.
thats why i cant send this to you.
i dont want you to hate me.
even though,
with what i know our friendships like,
you shouldnt.
but i dont want you to get all;
'ohemgee im gonna cut myself 'cause everyone hates me'
which i know you would.
thats why i bend the truth.

the truth is;
I LOVE YOU
and i cant stop thinking about you.
its too hard to stop.
i fill myself with the thoughts that maybe one day you'll want me again.
not likely to happen.
because maybe,
just maybe,
she dumps you,
you might go through with those attempts.
but then again,

maybe that would be better for everyone.
-----------

Cass, 22, Australia
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