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Same-sex dating shouldn't be a problem. I'm thinking you're gonna have to go with the 50/50 - i.e., back up your game and put it someplace safe, remove your downloads folder to a similarly safe place, see if you can get the option with no CC in place. If you can, you've got a mod conflict or a bad piece of CC or something. Put half your downloads folder back in and test again; if you can't get the option, congratulations, the problem's in that half and you can just start removing it 50% at a time till you can again. Otherwise, it's in the other half. Unless when you place the other half, you still can, in which case the problem is a conflict and you get to keep testing and removing and testing and replacing until you figure it out.
It doesn't take as long as it sounds like it does. And if you recently went on a downloading spree, give it a chance to be simple, and test your most recent downloads first!
Bear in mind that it does not have to be anything that makes sense to a human mind! This is a complex program. It doesn't work by real-world rules. I had a blouse that crashed the game when I used the photobooth to take a picture once. I tried to use a mod called "Slower LTA Gain" that works fine for most people, but for some reason in my setup and those of a couple of other people it caused the vacation clock to freeze - a situation Cyjon said was like all the toilets overflowing when you turned the lights off. Get yourself a drink, some chocolate, and something to read, possess your soul in patience, and don't let it get you down.
Once you solve it, you remove the problem file(s), replace your backup, and go merrily dating away. Good luck.
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