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Test Subject
#26 Old 24th Aug 2009 at 2:32 PM Last edited by LarsVegas : 25th Aug 2009 at 12:39 AM.
This is a rather interesting topic, but I must admit that I put my personal friends and online friends into different categories. I am not saying that I downgrade the status of my online friends, but the levels are quite different.

I feel that both sets are important, but with the people I know in person, the experiences seem a bit more realistic. If we are not talking on the phone, we are either meeting for lunch, dinner, a movie, a poker game, or some sort of other event that you cannot do online. With close friends who live in different cities or states, we each take the time to fly out and visit each other once or twice every year. It feels a bit more personal, I must say.

When you are friends with someone online, you are usually limited to e-mail, instant messages, and in some cases, talking on the phone. I suppose some have webcams and that sort of thing, but that would be a bit too strange for my tastes. I suppose it would take a lot for me to travel out of town and meet someone face-to-face that I met online. I am not saying that I would never try it, but it would take time to establish that sort of connection.

As for romantic relationships, I know of several friends who met their significant others online. Personally, I am quite happy for them, but again, until I met the person face-to-face and established that connection, I would view the relationship under a different light.
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Test Subject
#27 Old 24th Aug 2009 at 3:09 PM
I agree with Lars I do keep my Online friends and Personal friends in separate categories, however 4 years ago on a forum I met two girls who have literally become my closest friends, we even arranged a holiday which we all went on in July this year, it was strange when we met in the airport immediately we all just clicked. There was no awkwardness, they were what I had been expecting through exchanging details online, everything was perfect. They live in the US and I live in the UK but we're already planning to meet up next year too in the US again.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm open to these types of relationships because I have seen that they can produce something that really will last a long time, my friends and I talk everyday whether its through text, e-mail, IM and we have done for the past 4 years, the conversation has never been lacking. I think long distance friendships really can work out if you all put the effort in to keep in contact.

more pics @ pixelplayground
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#28 Old 25th Aug 2009 at 12:00 AM Last edited by 1ove : 25th Aug 2009 at 3:08 AM.
Quote: Originally posted by Sif
Hard but not impossible! I live in Australia and my boyfriend was living in California when I met him. We got to know each other online, met each other while he was on holiday here and became great friends. One thing led to another and in a couple of years he moved to Australia so we could live together. Yes, the money we both dropped on plane tickets was insane (I remember one direct return flight cost me around $3,000 AUD one of the times I flew over!) but absolutely worth it in my case. However, I don't think I could have had an online romance if I was unsure whether I'd ever actually get to see that person.

As for online friendships in general, I believe they can be successful depending on the person. I've met some great people online over the years and still keep in touch with some of them but I do find myself a lot closer to the friends I can talk face to face with. :D


Yeah... I was really young. Like not just 17+. We met when I was twelve and he was thirteen. He just told me, "There's no chance of me ever coming to the US. Everything's here. Have a nice day." Go figure. Well, good for you.

Quote: Originally posted by singing_Noel
To be honest a lot of my friends online are either friends in real-life, or friends who know my friends from real life. If I do consider someone a friend online, that I've never met personally, I try to break the barriers of internet impossibility by meeting them, grab a cup of coffee, see a movie, catch a game. They've worked out well, but I do try to remain local, however I do live in a pretty big city.

In the end it's nothing to be ashamed of or look down on, I actually find it a lot easier to meet people online first, rather than the other way around, especially since I'm an Aries and I tend to be a little too highstrung/intimidating when meeting new people.

Now as for the relationship side, I met my current fiance online when I was young...as I'm sure we've all done. Heheheh, eventually things got bad at my house ( my parents had an ugly divorce ) and the only place I seemed to find comfort in was in his care. He was older than me, so he was able to take care of me, I was finally legal so it didn't seem so taboo...and since then we've been living together for five years, in love for eight, and friends for ten. So yes, it is possible...just gotta learn to take chances. :D


You were fortunate enough to have met people that lived within close range. I couldn't fly a plane to New Hampshire (don't make me look it up, but I know it's over 2,000 miles and at least four hours) and back in a day. Not only do I not have money, it's just not reasonable for my age and family.

He must of lived nearby or been really willing (you did say he was older than you). It's just not a good thing for a sixteen year old boy to fly from Australia to Los Angeles to live with his fourteen year old "girlfriend", who he barely even talks to and has never even seen (we don't do the webcam thing, as I'm sure you might of caught on). With our current life standing, it just wasn't an option. We were too young, too naive, and maybe even too unwilling. I'm serious about this. I posted on another forum about it, and people LAUGHED. "Please stop this crap before it gets even worse. You're fourteen years old. You have NO resources or money. You've never even met each other. You do all your talking through a screen, words on LCD. Is it really worth it? NO! It's voodoo, big voodoo."

Thanks for all your responses.
Lab Assistant
#29 Old 25th Aug 2009 at 4:54 AM
I mean, it's sad because we can talk so much and everything, but what are you really supposed to do in the end? Does it just keep on going and going? I've heard stories about people who had online friends for up to ten years. It's hard, because sometimes the other person is just too far away. There was almost no chance of us meeting each other — ever.



I have wondered the same thing!I mean I have talked to one of my online friends for 2 years,who also stay far away,and now I wonder were do we go from here!When I first started talking to her,I didn't think it would get this far.I mean talking to someone online is entirely different than meeting them.I have heard about a lot of online horror stories,and I don't want to become one of them.

Don't be someone's...Down-time,spare-time,part-time,or sometime.
If they can't be there for you all the time,then they're not even worth your time!!!
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Original Poster
#30 Old 25th Aug 2009 at 4:56 AM
Quote: Originally posted by harmonee_el
I have wondered the same thing!I mean I have talked to one of my online friends for 2 years,who also stay far away,and now I wonder were do we go from here!When I first started talking to her,I didn't think it would get this far.I mean talking to someone online is entirely different than meeting them.I have heard about a lot of online horror stories,and I don't want to become one of them.



Yeah... it's like even if we did meet them, I'm currently too young and unstable (financially, maybe not emotionally) so God save us? It's sad, but eventually it most likely does have to end unless you're old or close enough... which is bad as many young people today are forced upon technology.
Scholar
#31 Old 25th Aug 2009 at 6:03 AM
I've had many OL friends, and there just that OL friends. Cye for 12 years, Kyrie for like 6. Reminds my IM is not on OUPS. My best friend, the one I live with now I met her OL like OH 8 years ago??

(Three years ago met my friend fishy by chance traveling he's one of the first people I talked to OL ever)

Would I do what I did now? No, there has been to much cyber crime for me to risk anything like that. Would I for the people I known for years, LOL yes.

Funny thing I noticed a few times with OL friends, sometimes people we encounter show up in their lives. Also there has been occurrences were we have been in the same place and the same time and never knew it.

And for OL relationships, yes I used to believe in it. I was in one, I can tell you it was real while it lasted.

Disclaimer: I am just being a goof ball, please ignore me if offended.
Scholar
Original Poster
#32 Old 25th Aug 2009 at 6:08 AM
Quote: Originally posted by DrowningFishy
I've had many OL friends, and there just that OL friends. Cye for 12 years, Kyrie for like 6. Reminds my IM is not on OUPS. My best friend, the one I live with now I met her OL like OH 8 years ago??

(Three years ago met my friend fishy by chance traveling he's one of the first people I talked to OL ever)

Would I do what I did now? No, there has been to much cyber crime for me to risk anything like that. Would I for the people I known for years, LOL yes.

Funny thing I noticed a few times with OL friends, sometimes people we encounter show up in their lives. Also there has been occurrences were we have been in the same place and the same time and never knew it.

And for OL relationships, yes I used to believe in it. I was in one, I can tell you it was real while it lasted.


Dang... how old are you?

Haha, luckily you got out 'cause that was like, what, 2000?

We all did.

It doesn't surprise me that we were in the same time and place or whatever. Celebs do that, too. And I basically added the entire high school class of the Australian guy.
Scholar
#33 Old 25th Aug 2009 at 6:11 AM
I am 27 I started OL when I was 15. IT was great because I scared the crappola out of a guy at an anime convention who would later be the ex fiance of my best friend I ment OL. I even met my OL boyfriend I had for awhile MANY times in RL but never knew it. ()*$&#*($&# made a game out of it to since I can't remember faces.

Disclaimer: I am just being a goof ball, please ignore me if offended.
Forum Resident
#34 Old 2nd Sep 2009 at 8:42 AM
I had one, I guess you could consider. He happened to find someone closer to him, and that was heartbreaking at the time. They do work, but takes work. I suggest meeting quick and find one close to home. LDRs rarely work but can work. Anything is possible... would I do it again? Prob not but life is random.

Life is random - expect the unexpected!
Sims 3 Creations
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Original Poster
#35 Old 2nd Sep 2009 at 9:36 AM
Quote: Originally posted by PhantasyGurl
I had one, I guess you could consider. He happened to find someone closer to him, and that was heartbreaking at the time. They do work, but takes work. I suggest meeting quick and find one close to home. LDRs rarely work but can work. Anything is possible... would I do it again? Prob not but life is random.


After having went so far — 7,487 miles away and all the way across the world — I doubt anything else could really compare. It was fun envisioning life in other countries, especially in one so far away and close at the same time (it's still a Western country), but it turned out to be too much fun that the chances of me ever becoming part of their lives was slim to none.

It's such a letdown. My psychologist fretted, "I think I'm more concerned that at one point, he'll just find someone else nearby. There is no physical satisfaction in this relationship, and eventually it won't be enough for you. You can sure fantasize, but the truth is, no matter how morbid or funny the stories seem, there's no chance of you two ever doing anything anywhere. It's not going to happen." Well, I just wrote him an email the other day, after more than four whole months of silence. This was the first in which I actually had an angry and honest tone, but it was 100% what I felt. I'm not sure how he's going to respond, but he's not the nicest or best sugarcoater either, so.

In any case, I wouldn't do it again. If I had known it would turn out the way it did, I wouldn't of done it to begin with (then again, it's like that with a lot of things). Maybe if I did have the money to meet and move, but when will that ever happen? About finding people nearby... I live around way too many fifteen year old perverts. Everything done young, that's good enough for me.
Forum Resident
#36 Old 2nd Sep 2009 at 11:32 AM
I'm sorry you had to go through so much to get support 1ove, I know it's rather discouraging. However I see it this way, if you truly believe what they say...that you're too young to be dealing with this, well, then maybe you are. Simple enough.

The worries you have are realistic, they will eventually come about. Physical satisfaction, though only a small slice of the make-up of a relationship, is still a part of a relationship. If you want to get further into one, you have to be willing to take the necessary steps to get to the perfect ideal, otherwise, what are we working for? You've gotta take risks, and if you're too reluctant to take them...then why bother?

I dunno, I had the same talk with my shrink, but when it came down to the knitty gritty...I loved him, and he loved me...so I gave him the benefit of the doubt, that's what people in love do. They trust each other.

As for the people nearby thing, it'll change over time. A guy that seems like a perve now, will eventually get his head on straight in a couple years...which makes sense, boys do mature slower than girls. Plus, you're young, you have all the time in the world to fall in love.

BTW, he wasn't willing, he was actually quite skeptical about seeing me in RL, but like me he eventually realized he had to over step some boundaries too. Plus, I had nowhere else to go, or no one else to trust, so why wouldn't he take me in...he'd feel a bit bad if he didn't. Which was evidence enough for me that the six hour plane ride was gonna be worth it.
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#37 Old 2nd Sep 2009 at 7:26 PM
Quote: Originally posted by singing_Noel
I'm sorry you had to go through so much to get support 1ove, I know it's rather discouraging. However I see it this way, if you truly believe what they say...that you're too young to be dealing with this, well, then maybe you are. Simple enough.

The worries you have are realistic, they will eventually come about. Physical satisfaction, though only a small slice of the make-up of a relationship, is still a part of a relationship. If you want to get further into one, you have to be willing to take the necessary steps to get to the perfect ideal, otherwise, what are we working for? You've gotta take risks, and if you're too reluctant to take them...then why bother?

I dunno, I had the same talk with my shrink, but when it came down to the knitty gritty...I loved him, and he loved me...so I gave him the benefit of the doubt, that's what people in love do. They trust each other.

As for the people nearby thing, it'll change over time. A guy that seems like a perve now, will eventually get his head on straight in a couple years...which makes sense, boys do mature slower than girls. Plus, you're young, you have all the time in the world to fall in love.

BTW, he wasn't willing, he was actually quite skeptical about seeing me in RL, but like me he eventually realized he had to over step some boundaries too. Plus, I had nowhere else to go, or no one else to trust, so why wouldn't he take me in...he'd feel a bit bad if he didn't. Which was evidence enough for me that the six hour plane ride was gonna be worth it.


I don't believe what they say. They're paid to tell me things like this. They're not going to encourage me, "Come on, get in the 747 and find Steven!" when I'm bipolar and suicidal.

Quote: Originally posted by Me
It's just not a good thing for a sixteen year old boy to fly from Australia to Los Angeles to live with his fourteen year old "girlfriend", who he barely even talks to and has never even seen (we don't do the webcam thing, as I'm sure you might of caught on). With our current life standing, it just wasn't an option. We were too young, too naive, and maybe even too unwilling. I'm serious about this. I posted on another forum about it, and people LAUGHED. "Please stop this crap before it gets even worse. You're fourteen years old. You have NO resources or money. You've never even met each other. You do all your talking through a screen, words on LCD. Is it really worth it? NO! It's voodoo, big voodoo."



If only I could get the time machine to go five years forward. Sucks, I was fourteen and I wanted out. You were not thirteen, you were eighteen... my parents still wouldn't approve, but I was just out of being a kid at that time. He said, "I'm out. I'm going to college. I'm not leaving the country." as I've already stated 50,000 times before. My parents weren't going to go for that, although his friends and classmates encouraged me to come.

I'll be the first to admit it: I don't have a lot of relationship experience.
Scholar
Original Poster
#39 Old 5th Sep 2009 at 3:16 AM
Quote: Originally posted by Cyberian_Trooper
Personally my thoughts are about that is go with caution because you don't really know the person until you meet them and know they are who they say they are in person. They can tell you all the wonderful things about themselves and unless you have seen them in their own surroundings don't hang on to every word they tell you.


How does that work? I mean, even after you finally meet each other, if you don't date or move in, you'll just go back home and keep flopping around a screen? It seems to be so complex for me. I'm sure, ideally, the plan is that you should meet, greet, and move in. That does happen for some. But that's not practical for starving artist students who can barely afford a cup of coffee. "Mom, Dad, let's go to England and find John!" Who's paying? If I had money, I'd have done a lot of other things by now.

Also, if it dies off (which some people have hinted at), then there's no point and you've wasted a lot of money. I'm not sure how people are doing what they do, maybe there's something I'm missing. I'm not being hesitant, it just doesn't seem like it could happen for me.

I know to be careful, of course.
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