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Nysha's New Creators for February - posted on 1st Mar 2017 at 9:00 AM
Replies: 829 (Who?), Viewed: 40377 times.
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Theorist
#826 Old 23rd Mar 2017 at 8:34 PM
Moody...just a little.

My phone finally began to stop holding a charge and my father took me to get it replaced. It will be here tomorrow morning at the latest.

I also had got the safety brackets installed in my bookcases and to the walls. I should expect 2 more shelves in the next 2 weeks.

Rearranging my room will be a challenge.

Overall, I may not respond unless I am at my desktop setup.

Avatar: Jingjing the Black Ring Panda from Beijing 2008 Olympics.

"In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that, as far as we know, is hanging in space over Lake Michigan."
Ralphie as an adult, A Christmas Story
Top Secret Researcher
#827 Old 24th Mar 2017 at 6:00 AM
Well I think I've reached my breaking point. After at least 10 years of dealing with this I just don't want to deal with it anymore. People have tried telling me I can beat this, that I can do it. Well I can't do it, I can't beat this. I'm so tired of being alone, of being on my own. I have a pain in my chest, no idea what that is, probably my heart shattering from years of loneliness. I hate this so much. God just please make it end, I don't care how.

Drained by the anger and grief, fazed by the envy and greed, the secret cries for a release, the lucidity hidden deep in sweet pandemonium.
Lab Assistant
#828 Old 24th Mar 2017 at 8:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by haywud
Well I think I've reached my breaking point. After at least 10 years of dealing with this I just don't want to deal with it anymore. People have tried telling me I can beat this, that I can do it. Well I can't do it, I can't beat this. I'm so tired of being alone, of being on my own. I have a pain in my chest, no idea what that is, probably my heart shattering from years of loneliness. I hate this so much. God just please make it end, I don't care how.


I'm sorry im just now getting back to you. Do you have anything that will give you temporary happiness ? I went out for a walk yesterday through the woods and it eased my mind a bit. The silence and cool air is like a happy pill to me. You can beat it but it's not going to be easy. You'll always remember this bad place but with happiness it can be replaced. I still have bad thoughts but when I do I push them out because I can't let them take me out. The pain in your chest is stress and anxiety you're getting yourself worked up. Idk your situation but I want you to know that you are loved and I'm sending you virtual hugs.

Stay to yourself and pretend like no one else exists.
Theorist
#829 Old 24th Mar 2017 at 10:02 PM
I feel crappy, because I can't bring myself to fill in my Masters degree application. I don't even know why. I just keep putting it off. Sitting down and just reading through it and trying to fill it out and I just can't. I keep telling myself that maybe it's because I'm happy where I am now, but while I like my job now - I don't want to be here forever. I want to go on to my Masters degree. I honestly don't know what's stopping me. Maybe it's the instability of my own life right now. Maybe I just like to procrastinate. It stresses me out just thinking about it though.

~Your friendly neighborhood ginge
Theorist
#830 Old 26th Mar 2017 at 10:29 PM
Hi...Bad news...the lady lied. She ordered my phone with 2 day delivery. TBH, this is not the first time I ordered something on Thursday, says it will be here Friday, only to be delivered Monday.

I'm also exhausted and disappointed from hosting a dinner party on Saturday. My cousins, Jake and Max, (one's working on a degree in in robotics and the other is planning to join the metallurgy trade) came and my stepcousin Ethan would have come, but Uncle Bill's car failed to start up. My cat Gemini got scared by my aunt Luanne's oversized black Labrador Retriever, Ottis (who I swear is part draft horse). I even shared wisdom about how possessive and domineering cats can be regardless of how cute they are.

Family aside, I spent the majority of the weekend planning for the party. Today, I had spent quite a bit of time left alone until after noon. I watched a documentary series that examines how celebrities died exactly, like post-mortem reports like autopsies and health reports over the course of their lifetime. It's not a matter of "whodunit?" but "whatdidit?"

Avatar: Jingjing the Black Ring Panda from Beijing 2008 Olympics.

"In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that, as far as we know, is hanging in space over Lake Michigan."
Ralphie as an adult, A Christmas Story
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