Home | Download | Discussion | Help | Site Map | New Posts | Sign in

Latest Site News

MTS Movie Night #2 - posted on 10th Aug 2017 at 2:58 PM
Replies: 732 (Who?), Viewed: 37770 times.
Page 30 of 30
Inventor
#726 Old 30th Jul 2017 at 9:34 PM
Default Shaking the dust off....
I was checking out some of the displayed books in the library, and thumbing through "God's Doodle: The Life and Times of the Penis" by Tom Hickman (because there are some titles you just have to pick up when you see them), when I saw a bit about nicknames/euphemisms on page ten.

"...But interestingly Dick, although as old as any of these, only joined the penile fraternity in the late nineteenth century and then not because it rhymed with prick, but as a shortened form of dickory dock, cockney rhyming slang for cock."


....Wait a minute..."Hickory Dickory Dock"...and I remember from too many weird History Channel bits and odd Cracked articles that certain..."personal items"... used to be made out of stuff like polished wood....WAS THAT OLD NURSERY RHYME SECRETLY ABOUT DILDOS THIS ENTIRE TIME?!
Alchemist
#727 Old 6th Aug 2017 at 3:13 PM Last edited by smorbie1 : 6th Aug 2017 at 5:29 PM.
Best I can figure, sometime last week someone put a curse on me...

The package I was expecting on Tuesday didn't get delivered. I kept waiting for it, but, no. I was checking the website every five minutes (OCD - I timed it), and suddenly there was a notice from Fedex that it had been "left at the door because there was no notation that a signature was needed". I live in an apartment, so I don't like things left at the door. I raced to retrieve it, but, no package. I called Walmart and they didn't care. They refunded my money, but since the package had already been delayed, that meant my sweet kitties didn't get their favorite food for the rest of the week, because my son borrowed my car two months ago and still has it. He has two pretty new vehicles, but somehow they keep breaking down, and he and his girlfriend need them for work, so...He comes to take me to the grocery store twice a month, and I have to take cabs to get to my many doctor appointment. Boy, that was a long sentence. If I cared more I would go back and edit it. But, there's too much left to tell.

So, the next day, I called Fedex and was told:
1. The package would not have been left because that was against policy. I had to show her it was.
2. The package was not left, but was returned - it was at the distribution center. I had ordered dish washing detergent, and it had leaked. This meant the guy couldn't leave it. Well, then in that case, he shouldn't have noted that he DID leave it, and he shouldn't have broken the rules that state he is not allowed to leave boxes at apartments. No matter how many times I run over that in my head I can't make it make sense. The woman I was dealing with saw the package. They opened it there to make sure it wasn't a bomb, and the contents were ruined by the incorrect packaging of the dish washing liquid (Thanks, Walmart!). Okay, I get that. She said the driver put the package down and as he was turning away realized it was leaking. Okay. But, he still broke the rules because he didn't knock at the door, and at some point he made that gleeful notation that he didn't have to have a signature - which is against policy. So, I just don't know that I got the whole story there.

Then my son came on Friday to take me to Walmart, the only place in this Godforsaken town (the armpit of the universe) that has a decent assortment of groceries. Of course here in Hooterville, the managers at Walmart figure it makes sense to only stock their shelves once a week, on you guessed it, Friday afternoon around 5 o'clock. That means:
1. shelf after shelf after shelf of NOTHING. I don't mean no assortment of items. I mean empty shelves. After a lot of searching I finally found some cat food, and it's a kind they do love, but no treats. No bleach, no cereal, no pastries.
2. People standing in front of everything. Many people get paid on Friday and come to the store when they leave work. This is the only time I can go to the store because of my son's job (if I had my car I could go anytime, but that's an earlier rant). This means that the entire population of the two-towns was in Walmart almost literally fighting over the one box of cereal they had. 17000 souls in one store. There were people loitering everywhere. There was no aisle so devoid of content that people weren't doing extensive CSI searching in case the item was invisible and no aisle who's usual display of items was so uninteresting that thousands of people weren't congregating there. I haven't seen it that bad since last year's hurricane when a small skirmish did develop over the last case of bottled water.
3. There was even more congestion in the isles because the stockers were trying to fill shelves that had gone unfilled for a week. So they were there with their big carts, but they couldn't get to the isle because of the CSI work being done. I saw more than one shake his head and disgust and haul his giant cart out of the isle to stand in the middle of the store in order to make that area more congested.

So, that was Friday.

Saturday morning, very early, I was up with insomnia. No internet. That does not seem to be unusual for Comcast. When it hadn't been restored by midmorning, I called. After the first person couldn't help, I was directed to a guy I won't name, but there's a reason I'm on a first-name basis with him. Internet is down a lot. After an interminable time he was able to get it working for me.

Went to play my game only to discover that my mouse had decided to die. But it wasn't the kind of death where you know it's dead. I use an external mouse and this is the kind of death where it doesn't want to grab and move things, but for every time you click it, it clicks three or four. Fun stuff that. I can deal with playing the Sims like that. Cooking Fever is a different story.

Okay, so I just pull my laptop into my lap to use the built in mouse. Don't like it, really, but I can deal for awhile. Turn on my Apple tv. And, I think you know where I'm going here. The light is on, but there's no one home. I plugged and unplugged from the unit and then from the tv. Nothing. No menu, no guide, no settings, just a black screen.

Then this morning I was asking where to find some cc. A sweet helpful person posted the site where she had JUST gotten them. And the site is now gone.

In disgust I decide the only action I can take is to order a new mouse. Hmmm..that's right, Amazon offers one-day shipping. So, there I go. I select a mouse that will be here by August 7. But, once I placed the order, the delivery date is August 9. Research has indicated that the numbers 7 and 9 often denote different days. Like, if the 7th is Monday, the ninth is Wednesday. That's not exactly next-day delivery now, is it Amazon?

I'm going back to bed. Wake me when it's 2018.

"Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for awhile."
Theorist
#728 Old 6th Aug 2017 at 4:48 PM
Quote:
Then my son came on Friday to take me to Walmart, the only place in this Godforsaken town (the armpit of the universe)


At least you have something in your town. Here's nothing, literally. Not even a goddamn cigarette dispenser.

I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
__________
Need help building? We'll help.
Alchemist
#729 Old 6th Aug 2017 at 5:25 PM
The weird thing is we actually have one of those. And a couple of vape stores. I guess people smoke but they don't eat around here.

I used to live in a town so tiny we only had one of those rural groceries stores. I can't remember the name. It's a chain, though, and they cater only to teeny weeny places. We also had a combination lawn mower parts and gift shop. It was....interesting. If it weren't for the ocean, I would prefer to still be there. At least I knew where I was and didn't expect there to be anything nearby. This is just maddening.

My dentist said he knew the town I was talking about and he looked at a practice there. But it was in the middle of a, I think he said, cotton field. I'm like, yeah, and what's your point? Did you see the rest of the place? It's all in the middle of some crop field.

"Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for awhile."
Theorist
#730 Old 6th Aug 2017 at 5:37 PM
There's a small general store chain nestled in the other villages here. But this place somehow managed to be at least 5km from any store. All we have is a street and ofcourse houses. Yup.
Oh we have stench too.

I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
__________
Need help building? We'll help.
Alchemist
#731 Old 6th Aug 2017 at 10:36 PM
It smells fine here. But the other town often smelled of fertilizer and the other chemicals (to which I am, of course, allergic) that they spray on the crops. there was, in general, an earthy smell there that you don't have in a lot of places. I liked it. It reminded me of my backyard when I was growing up.

"Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for awhile."
Theorist
#732 Old 6th Aug 2017 at 11:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by smorbie1
It smells fine here. But the other town often smelled of fertilizer and the other chemicals (to which I am, of course, allergic) that they spray on the crops. there was, in general, an earthy smell there that you don't have in a lot of places. I liked it. It reminded me of my backyard when I was growing up.


Fertilizer is the most common smell here. Earthy would be way better

I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
__________
Need help building? We'll help.
Scholar
#733 Old 8th Aug 2017 at 1:11 PM
Am I the only one who didn't know sultanas and raisins are dried grapes?

My downloads archived at Wordpress.
My photo blog at Tumblr.
Page 30 of 30
Back to top