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#51
1st May 2011 at 12:12 AM
Posts: 984
Fuck you Roland Emmerich.
I just had the "honor" of getting to see the second half of 2012 earlier today. There was nothing else on, and I thought that maybe it would be good for a laugh, but I was wrong, all it managed to do was severely piss me off. Good freaking god was that thing an idiotic and mean-spirited train wreck!I had already seen the How it Should Have Ended version, which pretty much sums up the idiotically large number of "coincidences" in the heroes' favor in the film.
That giant doughnut could have saved us all two hours...
Then there was the rest of it;
Like how, for instance, they basically carried out the whole "save the rich, let the poor drown" thing that they had going on earlier in the film. Yeah, they let the Chinese workers (many of whom looked suspiciously Caucasian from a distance in a lot of shots. ) on board at the last second, as well as the people that were originally supposed to be on "ark 3," but, if you look at the shots which showed the crowd, there were more passengers than workers (seeing as how the workers were given bright yellow and red jumpsuits, and therefore stood out more, even in distance shots), and who made up the bulk of the ark passengers? Why, the rich people who could afford to buy the tickets, of course!
Not only that, but there appeared to be a bit of racism in a lot of parts (though, admittedly, that could be due to my fridge logic kicking in). For instance, most of the rich ark passengers appeared to be of Caucasian descent, as did the military and Heads of State. Then there were the other little moments, like how the Indian scientist (or whatever profession he was; like I said, I tuned in on the second half, so I missed some of the earlier melodrama) and his family were "not picked up" and he, along with his wife and young child, not to mention countless amounts of other Indian citizens who were also probably supposed to be saved, were all shown dying in one of the massive tsunamis.
Not to mention the finale, where they end up going to Africa to settle, since it was one of the few continents on earth that hadn't been mostly submerged by the oceanic waters. What could be the problem with that, seeing as how it's a less than subtle attempt at seeming deep (what with Africa being considered the "cradle of man" and all)? Well, seeing as how the majority of African countries (and therefore it's citizens) are extremely poor, they likely had no or very few passengers aboard one of the arks, so the people would have been left completely at the mercy of the natural disasters which were devastating the entire human race, causing the death toll to be in the hundreds of millions. Basically, a bunch of ships which were supposed to carry the best of the human race, but were in reality mostly populated by privileged white people, landed in an Africa where the populous, the overwhelming majority of whom are extremely poor and black, are dead simply because they didn't have the means to bribe others into helping them survive. And the visuals, cheering, and swelling music suggests that there is now a bright new future ahead for humanity--which now consists almost entirely of privileged white people. What. The. FUCK?!
Not only that, but there appeared to be a bit of racism in a lot of parts (though, admittedly, that could be due to my fridge logic kicking in). For instance, most of the rich ark passengers appeared to be of Caucasian descent, as did the military and Heads of State. Then there were the other little moments, like how the Indian scientist (or whatever profession he was; like I said, I tuned in on the second half, so I missed some of the earlier melodrama) and his family were "not picked up" and he, along with his wife and young child, not to mention countless amounts of other Indian citizens who were also probably supposed to be saved, were all shown dying in one of the massive tsunamis.
Not to mention the finale, where they end up going to Africa to settle, since it was one of the few continents on earth that hadn't been mostly submerged by the oceanic waters. What could be the problem with that, seeing as how it's a less than subtle attempt at seeming deep (what with Africa being considered the "cradle of man" and all)? Well, seeing as how the majority of African countries (and therefore it's citizens) are extremely poor, they likely had no or very few passengers aboard one of the arks, so the people would have been left completely at the mercy of the natural disasters which were devastating the entire human race, causing the death toll to be in the hundreds of millions. Basically, a bunch of ships which were supposed to carry the best of the human race, but were in reality mostly populated by privileged white people, landed in an Africa where the populous, the overwhelming majority of whom are extremely poor and black, are dead simply because they didn't have the means to bribe others into helping them survive. And the visuals, cheering, and swelling music suggests that there is now a bright new future ahead for humanity--which now consists almost entirely of privileged white people. What. The. FUCK?!
Like I said, it could just be me reading a bit too much into it, but the whole thing just left a really bad taste in my mouth.
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#52
6th May 2011 at 4:37 PM
Posts: 6
Avatar. Worst movie I have ever seen in my life. Talk about a horrible piece of crap film.
#53
9th May 2011 at 5:58 AM
Posts: 31
The Last Exorcism.
Oh and High School Musical
Oh and High School Musical
#54
9th May 2011 at 8:35 AM
I was falling asleep at home and sort of watched Once Bitten. Terrible film very early in Jim Carrey's dismal career.
Theorist
#55
9th May 2011 at 1:36 PM
Posts: 2,073
Thanks: 3109 in 21 Posts
Instead of Thor ( 2011 ) I watched Almighty Thor. I think SyFy did this on purpose to win an award for most facepalms per segment. I don't know about Marvel's movie version, but this Thor was whiny, dependent, and two steps below foolish. We'll get to that in a minute. There were three characters, Thor, Loki, and a female character which I will call Almalexia because I didn't catch her real name and Almalexia is close enough.
This movie went like this: 1. Almalexia and Thor run 2. Thor battles Loki who tricks him 3. Almalexia saves his Norse wonderbuns and warns him to fight under better circumstances 4. Thor says he can win anyway 5. Return to step 1.
Almalexia's role seems to be Thor's protective guide and at times she can scold him like a mother does a child. This transforms into a insanely twisted moment of honesty when Thor tells Almalexia he loves her and she returns the advance with a sudden change in her character. Except that these two actors must have hated each other on the set and refused to kiss if and when it was scripted. There is no other way to explain an romance based on hugging.
Let's get to Loki. He is an interesting combination of the protagonist from the original V series and his face is white like powder while his features are black. He is dressed like the headless horseman from Ichabod Crane with Johny Depp. Loki also has some morphing capability styled after Agamemnon from Time Warriors. And close up he looks like Joker - Kurgan - Mark Hamil.
At this point I had to stop watching and turn on the water, turn around 120 times, turn off the water. I can only ad lib what came next: The final beat down find its hour and stuff flies out of control, lights burst and spin, blades grind and sparks dance, and slowmo alternates with fastmo until Loki falls into space and becomes imprisoned in a spectral cube. Odin blessed Thor, but Thor refuses so that he can be with his true love, Almalexia. They both shake hands. The End
This movie went like this: 1. Almalexia and Thor run 2. Thor battles Loki who tricks him 3. Almalexia saves his Norse wonderbuns and warns him to fight under better circumstances 4. Thor says he can win anyway 5. Return to step 1.
Almalexia's role seems to be Thor's protective guide and at times she can scold him like a mother does a child. This transforms into a insanely twisted moment of honesty when Thor tells Almalexia he loves her and she returns the advance with a sudden change in her character. Except that these two actors must have hated each other on the set and refused to kiss if and when it was scripted. There is no other way to explain an romance based on hugging.
Let's get to Loki. He is an interesting combination of the protagonist from the original V series and his face is white like powder while his features are black. He is dressed like the headless horseman from Ichabod Crane with Johny Depp. Loki also has some morphing capability styled after Agamemnon from Time Warriors. And close up he looks like Joker - Kurgan - Mark Hamil.
At this point I had to stop watching and turn on the water, turn around 120 times, turn off the water. I can only ad lib what came next: The final beat down find its hour and stuff flies out of control, lights burst and spin, blades grind and sparks dance, and slowmo alternates with fastmo until Loki falls into space and becomes imprisoned in a spectral cube. Odin blessed Thor, but Thor refuses so that he can be with his true love, Almalexia. They both shake hands. The End
Test Subject
#56
9th May 2011 at 9:14 PM
Posts: 6
skyline was absolute trash
#57
9th May 2011 at 10:24 PM
Posts: 293
Thanks: 303 in 5 Posts
My other half insisted it was a 'cult' film but I'd say otherwise. He brought home a film called 'Rubber' recently. It's about a serial killer TYRE with psychic powers. I kid not.
#58
9th May 2011 at 10:29 PM
Posts: 110
^ My boyfriend wants to see that just because it's a tire that blows up people. No other reason. He says "No one else has done it before!" I think there's a reason for that. -o-
We rented this movie a couple of months ago called Jekyll + Hyde. It was supposed to be a modern retelling of the Jekyll and Hyde story, where this science major in college creates a pill that can alter someone's personality; it was supposed to help geeky awkward kids be cool or something like that. It was the most ridiculous movie ever. It was nothing but sex and really poorly-done jump scares, and none of the actors had any emotion whatsoever. The attempt at a plot didn't even go through... they focused more on showing the random sex scene behind a club with the Jekyll/Hyde guy and a waitress rather than actually talk about the pill itself and the effects it was having on him. We stopped it about an hour in (I think it was about two hours?). Couldn't take anymore.
We rented this movie a couple of months ago called Jekyll + Hyde. It was supposed to be a modern retelling of the Jekyll and Hyde story, where this science major in college creates a pill that can alter someone's personality; it was supposed to help geeky awkward kids be cool or something like that. It was the most ridiculous movie ever. It was nothing but sex and really poorly-done jump scares, and none of the actors had any emotion whatsoever. The attempt at a plot didn't even go through... they focused more on showing the random sex scene behind a club with the Jekyll/Hyde guy and a waitress rather than actually talk about the pill itself and the effects it was having on him. We stopped it about an hour in (I think it was about two hours?). Couldn't take anymore.
Mad Poster
#59
10th May 2011 at 6:58 PM
Quote: Originally posted by sandymdh
My other half insisted it was a 'cult' film but I'd say otherwise. He brought home a film called 'Rubber' recently. It's about a serial killer TYRE with psychic powers. I kid not. |
#60
10th May 2011 at 7:52 PM
Two that have a sort of literary basis, which usually floats my boat, but...
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen . I think the concept of it is fabulous (and I understand that it's based on a comic book), but the execution in the movie...no. Which is surprising because, generally, I'll find anything with Sean Connery in it at least watchable, but this one? No thanks.
Same thing with Van Helsing. Generally, I'll watch anything with Hugh Jackman in it, too. *drools* And I generally like vampire flicks (The Twilight twaddle doesn't count; vampires who don't kill people aren't vampires.) But that movie was just stupid. It was only slightly redeemed by David Wenham's character, IMO. Geeky friars FTW!
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen . I think the concept of it is fabulous (and I understand that it's based on a comic book), but the execution in the movie...no. Which is surprising because, generally, I'll find anything with Sean Connery in it at least watchable, but this one? No thanks.
Same thing with Van Helsing. Generally, I'll watch anything with Hugh Jackman in it, too. *drools* And I generally like vampire flicks (The Twilight twaddle doesn't count; vampires who don't kill people aren't vampires.) But that movie was just stupid. It was only slightly redeemed by David Wenham's character, IMO. Geeky friars FTW!
I'm mostly found on (and mostly upload to) Tumblr these days because, alas, there are only 24 hours in a day.
Muh Simblr! | An index of my downloads on Tumblr.
Muh Simblr! | An index of my downloads on Tumblr.
#61
11th May 2011 at 5:45 AM
Posts: 984
Quote: Originally posted by sandymdh
My other half insisted it was a 'cult' film but I'd say otherwise. He brought home a film called 'Rubber' recently. It's about a serial killer TYRE with psychic powers. I kid not. |
I CAN BEAT THAT! A killer gingerbread man voiced by Gary Busey! I KID YOU NOT!
Feast your eyes on The Gingerdead Man
I've only actually seen the trailer, but the movie looks just lulzy enough for me to consider renting it sometime. What's worse, someone apparently thought this thing warranted two sequels!
The Passion of the Crust (yes, that's the actual name)
and the apparently just recently released third movie, Saturday Night Cleaver which apparently involves the killer gingerbread man (who seems to be voiced by an entirely different actor in each movie) time travelling.
Test Subject
#62
11th May 2011 at 3:06 PM
Posts: 5
I really don't like Harry Potter films. The books are my favourites, and the first, second and third film is good, but after... The Half-blood prince movie was the worst film, I have ever seen in cinema, sorry. I think becouse the book's story is too long to tell in quite short film. The other thing that annyoed me is that the death-eaters flew without broom. In the book only Voldemort was able to do that...
Test Subject
#63
23rd May 2011 at 4:39 PM
Posts: 5
Norbit was sooooo bad, i didn't even bother to watch till the end =\
#64
23rd May 2011 at 4:41 PM
I... watched Dragonball Evolution at the cinema. Yeah...
#65
23rd May 2011 at 9:54 PM
Posts: 2,024
I watch a LOT of movies when I have the time. A lot of the movies you guys are talking about don't even hit my radar for terrible. The one movie that leaps out at me for terrible though, in the last several years, is GI Joe. What a waste of money, turning even some half decent actors out into truly abysmal performances, ridiculous special effects...I can shrug off a low budget film that's not terribly engaging, or wave away criticism about the (so-called) plot of Transformers 2 since it was really just obviously simply meant to be an excuse for giant robots, but GI Joe just failed on every conceivable level.
Let's see, next up I'm going to go with Crank 2 and Transporter 3, both movies that demonstrate Jason Statham at his absolute worst (HINT: It's apparently very bad indeed.) I've never been able to watch any of the Twilight movies all the way through either, despite multiple attempts, but that's really nothing about the quality of the film-making or acting. The story premise is just so terrible that it makes me cringe every time I start dwelling upon it.
There's also a bunch of kid's movies lately that promise fairly high production values and even higher end voice acting that aren't even cute. Mega-mind was the sort of thing I expect from a mediocre quality kid's movie, but Space Chimps can go blast itself into outer space for me ever having to have watched it, for instance.
Let's see, next up I'm going to go with Crank 2 and Transporter 3, both movies that demonstrate Jason Statham at his absolute worst (HINT: It's apparently very bad indeed.) I've never been able to watch any of the Twilight movies all the way through either, despite multiple attempts, but that's really nothing about the quality of the film-making or acting. The story premise is just so terrible that it makes me cringe every time I start dwelling upon it.
There's also a bunch of kid's movies lately that promise fairly high production values and even higher end voice acting that aren't even cute. Mega-mind was the sort of thing I expect from a mediocre quality kid's movie, but Space Chimps can go blast itself into outer space for me ever having to have watched it, for instance.
#66
24th May 2011 at 1:11 AM
Posts: 1,303
Thanks: 791 in 9 Posts
Watched as much as I could handle of "I Downloaded A Ghost" yesterday. I was expecting something horrible, but it was just painfully 90's and ridiculous. It's got Ellen Paige and Carlos Alazraqui. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikOx...feature=related
This chick is apparently mad because her mom is "into lipstick and makeup" while she is "all about the macabre and haunted houses and stuff". So she decides to download a ghost off of the Internet. There's no magic or power surge or half-assed excuse to explain how they did it, it's apparently just a well-known fact that you can download a ghost freely at any time off the Internet. When the ghost is downloaded, she has no idea how he got there, and starts freaking out until it dawns on her that downloading a ghost will in fact give you a ghost.
Seriously, go watch it.
This chick is apparently mad because her mom is "into lipstick and makeup" while she is "all about the macabre and haunted houses and stuff". So she decides to download a ghost off of the Internet. There's no magic or power surge or half-assed excuse to explain how they did it, it's apparently just a well-known fact that you can download a ghost freely at any time off the Internet. When the ghost is downloaded, she has no idea how he got there, and starts freaking out until it dawns on her that downloading a ghost will in fact give you a ghost.
Seriously, go watch it.
#67
24th May 2011 at 5:08 AM
Posts: 53
Absolute Zero: Made to profit off of The Day After Tomorrow's success. Not even good enough to be considered a B-Movie. Everything about it was just...horrid.
Mega shark vs Giant octopus: The title speaks for itself.
Aliens vs Ninjas: Horror-comedy that was so bad it was hilarious, with a capital suck. Think of every Anime cliche you can think of. Now mix it with a cast of over dramatic Japanese actors. Now imagine if Michael Bay directed it.
Super Mario Brothers: Terrible. The budget for this movie should've been used to feed starving children in Africa.
The Upcoming Cowboy Bebop movie: Keanu Reeves is staring in it, and the budget has been cut back several times. That should tell you enough about it's quality.
Trolls 2: Worst. Movie. Ever. Literally. It's got awards and a cult following to back it up. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyophYBP_w4
Mega shark vs Giant octopus: The title speaks for itself.
Aliens vs Ninjas: Horror-comedy that was so bad it was hilarious, with a capital suck. Think of every Anime cliche you can think of. Now mix it with a cast of over dramatic Japanese actors. Now imagine if Michael Bay directed it.
Super Mario Brothers: Terrible. The budget for this movie should've been used to feed starving children in Africa.
The Upcoming Cowboy Bebop movie: Keanu Reeves is staring in it, and the budget has been cut back several times. That should tell you enough about it's quality.
Trolls 2: Worst. Movie. Ever. Literally. It's got awards and a cult following to back it up. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyophYBP_w4
#68
24th May 2011 at 7:08 AM
Posts: 984
Quote: Originally posted by pare321
Watched as much as I could handle of "I Downloaded A Ghost" yesterday. I was expecting something horrible, but it was just painfully 90's and ridiculous. |
And roughly a decade later, someone ripped off the "downloadable ghost" idea and turned it into a series of crappy horror films.
Quote: Originally posted by Segagrey
Absolute Zero: Made to profit off of The Day After Tomorrow's success. Not even good enough to be considered a B-Movie. Everything about it was just...horrid. |
Quote: Originally posted by Segagrey
The Upcoming Cowboy Bebop movie: Keanu Reeves is staring in it, and the budget has been cut back several times. That should tell you enough about it's quality. |
...That's just...I've only seen a couple of episodes of this beloved-by-many series, and even I can tell that it deserves infinitely better than this.
#69
1st Jun 2011 at 1:21 AM
Posts: 314
Quote: Originally posted by anothereyjana
I just had the "honor" of getting to see the second half of 2012 earlier today. There was nothing else on, and I thought that maybe it would be good for a laugh, but I was wrong, all it managed to do was severely piss me off. Good freaking god was that thing an idiotic and mean-spirited train wreck! |
I am not watching that movie till 2013. I know a surprising amount of people who actually believe that shit.
I am no movie expert so I haven't seen most of the stuff listed on this site, but there are certain kinds of movies which I think is crap, no offence to those who disagree.
I am not into "horror" movies especially slasher flicks. It's hard to be scared of something you know is fake.
Remakes. Their classics for a reason. Leave them alone! I am begining to think Hollywood is getting their movie ideas from IMDB.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people!
Test Subject
#70
1st Jun 2011 at 4:24 AM
Posts: 7
Twilight
#71
4th Jun 2011 at 8:00 PM
Posts: 108
Thanks: 1491 in 7 Posts
#72
5th Jun 2011 at 9:33 PM
Posts: 750
let see any of the Howlings after the first one. The first one was supposed to be camp with out apology.. After that some one owes an apology for the other movies made.. It got to a point of seriously.. the franchise made just enough money to make another.. What is the cut off before the franchise dies any ways.. Howard the Duck.. A few careers almost went down with that one.. Stepmomther is an alien.. Seriously? No kidding .. Outside of lame it set the idea of step mom back about a hundred years.
Starship Troopers.. Ok for those of us who actually read the book. The movie was a travesty from beginning to end. Is it any wonder Robert Heinlein did not want Hollywood touching his stories while alive. And FYI there is only one book.. The rest of the movie trilogy is just wasted space.
Any Scfy channel of Anaconda v anything,.. Ice spiders.. Really? Between bad CGI and worse dialog.. The script should have been used a campfire starting material.. It would have been more useful that way
Timothy Dalton as James Bond in living daylight and License to kill.
Starship Troopers.. Ok for those of us who actually read the book. The movie was a travesty from beginning to end. Is it any wonder Robert Heinlein did not want Hollywood touching his stories while alive. And FYI there is only one book.. The rest of the movie trilogy is just wasted space.
Any Scfy channel of Anaconda v anything,.. Ice spiders.. Really? Between bad CGI and worse dialog.. The script should have been used a campfire starting material.. It would have been more useful that way
Timothy Dalton as James Bond in living daylight and License to kill.
#73
5th Jun 2011 at 11:57 PM
Last edited by Misanthrope : 6th Jun 2011 at 1:48 AM.
Posts: 515
Thanks: 716 in 4 Posts
I was thinking, "Hrm? I don't watch terrible movies". Oh, wait... and then I remembered it--- The Last Airbender. It was so terrible, I must have suppressed it from my memories.
I loved watching the cartoon series, but this movie was just awful. Awful actors that failed to deliver their lines convincingly; devoid of any emotion. It's also funny how Aang, Katara, and Sokka were all Caucasian.
I hate you, M. Night Shyamalan. I hope your daughters were as disappointed in you as I am.
I loved watching the cartoon series, but this movie was just awful. Awful actors that failed to deliver their lines convincingly; devoid of any emotion. It's also funny how Aang, Katara, and Sokka were all Caucasian.
I hate you, M. Night Shyamalan. I hope your daughters were as disappointed in you as I am.
Forum Resident
#74
6th Jun 2011 at 6:06 AM
Posts: 694
Thanks: 10 in 1 Posts
Disaster Movie- I hated that movie, thanks to that I don't like Chipmunks anymore (Squirrels don't count right?), and the new Chipmunk Pokemon in the new Pokemon games, thanks to that movie I hate that Pokemon and it's evolution (Considering they both have red eyes... And yeah, they are creepy). Alot more worse then Meet the Spartans and Epic Movie I can tell you that.
Twilight- I found it boring to be honest, the characters just didn't interest me, actually the only character that even seem mildly of interest was that blond curly haired female vampire, I think Victoria or something, she was in the end scene and almost made me want to see the second one to see what she would do... Almost that is, almost fell asleep during this movie as well or wanted to,
Upside to Anger- I don't remember much about it but I do remember thinking it was boring, and the first movie I actually almost fell asleep in.
Twilight- I found it boring to be honest, the characters just didn't interest me, actually the only character that even seem mildly of interest was that blond curly haired female vampire, I think Victoria or something, she was in the end scene and almost made me want to see the second one to see what she would do... Almost that is, almost fell asleep during this movie as well or wanted to,
Upside to Anger- I don't remember much about it but I do remember thinking it was boring, and the first movie I actually almost fell asleep in.
#75
6th Jun 2011 at 5:20 PM
Armageddon. I expect a certain amount of WTF in the science of a science fiction movie, but this one made me want to send the writers back to school for some elementary physics. I read that NASA likes to show this film to its management trainees and have them point out the scientific impossibilities in it. Add a ridiculous plot and a truckful of cliches and this is a disaster movie in more than one sense of the word.
March or Die. Actually this is my pick for all-time worst big-budget, major production movie. It was so incredibly boring and un-involving that I can't remember a thing about the plot or the characters. When "The End" came up on the screen someone in the theatre yelled "Thank God!" and the whole audience cheered.
March or Die. Actually this is my pick for all-time worst big-budget, major production movie. It was so incredibly boring and un-involving that I can't remember a thing about the plot or the characters. When "The End" came up on the screen someone in the theatre yelled "Thank God!" and the whole audience cheered.
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