Home | Download | Discussion | Help | Site Map | New Posts | Sign in

Latest Site News

MTS Movie Night - posted on 15th Jul 2017 at 7:21 PM
Replies: 995 (Who?), Viewed: 53258 times.
Page 40 of 40
Mad Poster
#976 Old 18th Jul 2017 at 7:09 PM
Found a dress!!!!!! So now I only lack proper nice shoes, which I know will be a nightmare because of my short, wide feet that nothing fits on. (my brother is getting married, the main reason why I'm in a place with proper shops in the first place). Also found another book, and some number/letter stickers I've been looking for everywhere and then some until I found a tiny but packed craft store that had so much cuteness I'd gone amok under other circumstances (shopping alone and having a project going, that is). I want to adopt that craft store, or maybe pack it down into my suitcase and bring it home with me.

So I'm in a good mood, but tired (8 hours of walking around in a mall kinda does that to you). But trying on shoes when the soles of my feet are almost burning is a literal pain, so better do that tomorrow...
Theorist
#977 Old 18th Jul 2017 at 7:49 PM
Burnt out from dishwashing, capturing and converting audio and video to respond to a Sailor Moon AMV that has made the rounds, writing down birthdays in my 2018 monthly planner, throwing out expired pills properly, planning my August and essentially working to keep the house in order.

I get paid tomorrow and currently I have $45 to spend on a game by preloading.

http://richinc.boards.net <--- My forum. Currently has a general talk board and a cooking board. Check back for more boards... please don't hurt me.
Mad Poster
#978 Old 18th Jul 2017 at 8:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by haywud
As for myself, I feel completely lost right now. I'm all alone, and it's a loneliness that not just anyone can help me with. I also don't ever expect this loneliness to go away, and it's brought a pain like no other. No one understands this either, no matter how much I try and explain it. I don't even know why I talk about this, it's pointless and it's never going away. I've said I felt it was my curse to live and die alone, and I truly believe that. I'd much rather die than go on alone.


I think you'd be surprised just how many people feel much the same as you do (alone and like nobody understands them). A lot of people have similar thoughts some time or another in their life. Heck, even I've had times when I felt that way. It's probably why I'mve turned out quite different from a lot of the people around me, with different interests, and probably also why I've ended up enjoying being alone. When I was younger, I had very few friends, none of whom I trusted completely. I probably also have commitment issues, because other than close family, trust is difficult for me. I've got one friend I can be completely myself with, and I see her maybe once a year, if I'm lucky. I had a few more, but after school we sort of faded away to do our own things.

Feeling alone is one thing. Some (like me) learn to enjoy their own company. Others don't, and feel like they need people around them at all times to be happy.

For some people the feeling of loneliness is much, much worse than for the average person, and when you're at the stage when dying feels like a good option, you're clearly at the stage where it's time to get some help.

I have to say I'm worried about the last line you wrote. If you have suicidal thoughts, that tends to be a sign of depression, which is a condition that can be treated. Having someone to lay my thoughts on, and someone who helped steering my thoughts in a more positive direction helped back when I had a lot of angst built up. It also helped me feeling more sure of myself. I wouldn't say I was depressed (more frustrated and sad because I felt nobody were listening), but I was very unsure of myself, had a lot of angst for various things (particularly social settings and having to talk to people I didn't know) and that can easily be a road to depression if not handled properly. As an example on how I've gotten, previously I'd hesitate to go ask someone in a clothing shop a question, or even let them see me try on clothes (I was very body conscious, probably still is since I'm short and a little plump, and tend to look like a muffin in various clothing, so go figure), but today I did it without hesitation. Some people can benefit from medications, but I preferred the "talkative" route without any meds (I got the offer, but said no. If it's proven to be possible to fix things by natural means, I prefer that).

May I suggest trying to write down your thoughts and feelings, and letting someone you care about (parents/sibling/someone you trust) read it? Sometimes it's very hard to explain feelings, but easier to write them down. I've found it very therapeutic to write stories (all my negative thoughts tend to end up there - I feel better, while various characters die, get sick or depressed, or otherwise have a crappy set of days ahead of them. Also, nobody who's actually alive gets hurt in any way, no matter what my somewhat sick imagination comes up with. Writing (or song, poems, or whatever else creaive you may like) is some of the best therapy you can get, and it's usually free. Whether you keep it to yourself, pst it somehere, or let someone you know read it, that's up to you. Sometimes it's enough just to see it written down. I have no idea how many times killed off characters just to test it out (but often end up not to do so because trying it out makes me feel better, and I realize I'll miss writing about the characters).

I think the increasing feeling of loneliness in the population in general may be a symptom of the pressure from social media these days. You're supposed to be "there" all the time. Facebook, instagram, all those places where having a perfect (or sometimes imperfectly perfect) life is the goal, where everyone sits with their nose in a phone instead of talking face to face, and where there's no room to be alone, that feeling of loneliness can bizarrely turn for the worse. People are perhaps in the room, but they're not in the here and now. They're commenting, chatting and posting pictures - but can't enjoy what's right in front of them. For the social butterflies, this can feel even worse when everyone else is lost in a whirlwind of liking, subscribing, commenting and scrolling, being perfect, taking selfies for every little thing they do, and being everywhere else than they're supposed to be - and the socially awkward and not-so-seemingly-perfect out of the population aren't able to take the initiative to social contact. Being in the social media bubble you're also not allowed any alone-time, even if you are pphysically alone, so when the social media bubble bursts, the lurking loneliness suddenly roars at you.

I often find myself nagging mom about it. Ever since she got a new phone, she's had her nose in it constantly, reading facebook updates and such, in almost every setting (even right now - she's been looking at that thing for almost an hour). On her birthday last year, I couldn't even get an answer for nearly 4 hours while she was thanking people on Facebook, forgetting all about the food still on the tables after the party. With the phone in front of her, she's there in body, but not always in spirit - and that's true for a lot of people these days. Every time we've been out eating, there's at least one couple more interested in their device than in each other, even whole families with their nose in a device. That's why I'm keeping my non-internet phone until it dies. I'm mostly social on Sims-forums via my laptop, and hardly ever on other social media. I use my laptop at home, and when I'm out, I'm media-free and prefer being properly social, talking with people instead of trying to divert their attention from whatever thumb-tiring device they've got in front of them. I'm even able to leave my phone at home without missing it. I wish more people were like that...
Theorist
#979 Old 19th Jul 2017 at 1:23 AM
Like the emotions in my head are fighting for control. I have more than 5, but Anger was pretty sore about a string of incidents that were connected.

I was able to get Miitopia downloaded to my N3DS and I have decided to reward my father for his end of the bargain. I know he loves the Bottle Caps candy or any he can get his hands on. I let him choose. It's my treat.

My cat Gemini is watching Bill Nye the Science Guy. I could understand Sailor Moon because of Luna and Gemini is part Siamese and I felt that The Office (US) wouldn't make sense, but she joins me when watching educational television. @haywud, yes I take educational television seriously. I have been setting aside money for educational programming to own.

I guess the mutiny of emotion has been exhausting. I also ate 2 sleeves of saltines with my cheddar broccoli soup.

http://richinc.boards.net <--- My forum. Currently has a general talk board and a cooking board. Check back for more boards... please don't hurt me.
Test Subject
#980 Old 19th Jul 2017 at 5:00 AM
I am tired
Alchemist
#981 Old 19th Jul 2017 at 11:52 AM
Weirdly excited. Next week will mark a year since I found the lump in my breast that set me on the odyssey I've traveled this last year. Today I have a checkup with my oncologist to get a prescription for my maintenance medication, and tomorrow I go see my plastic surgeon to set up my breast reconstruction. And that will be that wiIl be that. Once the surgery is done, it's just medication and surveillance for the next ten years or so. This will eventually drop me from monthly visits to once every four months or so.

I can't believe it. I've been climbing this mountain for so long and the peak is in sight.

"Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for awhile."
Scholar
#982 Old 19th Jul 2017 at 12:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by smorbie1
Weirdly excited. Next week will mark a year since I found the lump in my breast that set me on the odyssey I've traveled this last year. Today I have a checkup with my oncologist to get a prescription for my maintenance medication, and tomorrow I go see my plastic surgeon to set up my breast reconstruction. And that will be that wiIl be that. Once the surgery is done, it's just medication and surveillance for the next ten years or so. This will eventually drop me from monthly visits to once every four months or so.

I can't believe it. I've been climbing this mountain for so long and the peak is in sight.


I've (thus far) always been very fortunate in terms of physical health, so I really can only imagine how euphoric you must feel to come through the other end of this Smorbie. So proud of you for pushing through.

My downloads archived at Wordpress.
My photo blog at Tumblr.
Alchemist
#983 Old 19th Jul 2017 at 1:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubblebeam
I've (thus far) always been very fortunate in terms of physical health, so I really can only imagine how euphoric you must feel to come through the other end of this Smorbie. So proud of you for pushing through.



"Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for awhile."
Theorist
#984 Old 19th Jul 2017 at 10:48 PM Last edited by PANDAQUEEN : 20th Jul 2017 at 1:11 AM. Reason: Update
@smorbie1, that's fantastic. You made it this far. It's within your grasp! Keep at it, we believe in you!

Talking of the medical journey, since being given a double dose of metformin, I lost 5 pounds. I have been active for at least 30 minutes daily and currently, it's been busy otherwise.

I helped my father with his errands and he bought a replacement hand shower because he let the one I had in Lynnwood be part of the deal when selling the house. He also needs to help buy me new towels because the towels I have are 10+ years old. I don't want to sound gauche, but maybe a rinsing cup when I choose a bath, new shower pouf, washcloths and a shower rack might round my outdated bathroom.

I may buy some cash boxes, decals of the 9 Lantern Corps from the DC universe (my family is Indigo with a few Violet, if you wanted to align us) DYMO Label Tape and get started.

Update: My shower head needs to be fitted with a part and tool available in Princeton Junction, where my father has been working lately. He was ran ragged. So I may be smelly for another day.

Actually, I found it less expensive to repurpose a 4'x3' corkboard, using 13 different colors of push pins and some binder clips to manage my money. I'll be able to stock up on bath products.

I have been doing well, but today I owe my father $10 for food on sale. $6 for the food, $4 for the seltzer. I originally wanted to stir fry onions and peppers, but I hate to make my father backtrack through the store.

My father and I may submit a piece of legislation to remove pesticides and other household poisons from grocery stores and one of two things would be in effect: the poisons are sold in a partitioned section or better yet, sold only at regulated zones. My father was pretty outraged at how poisons are sold in the same place as foods.

http://richinc.boards.net <--- My forum. Currently has a general talk board and a cooking board. Check back for more boards... please don't hurt me.
Alchemist
#985 Old 20th Jul 2017 at 1:51 AM
thanks.

You've been quite busy recently. That's good, and it's given you a little extra money. That's great.

I don't have that problem with the supermarket I use. But I shop at Walmart Super Center. The pesticides and cleaners are sold a bit away from the foods. smaller markets have them closer, I think.

And while I think it's a great idea, I wonder about the ease of access for elderly or disabled people. When I was going through chemo, I couldn't shop through the whole store. I had to just buy a few things at a time that were close to where I could get to.

"Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for awhile."
Forum Resident
#986 Old 20th Jul 2017 at 5:47 AM
Doing OK. It's a petty thing for me to bitch about, but my computer has been as slow as can be lately.. I'm sure the 5400 RPM 4 TB drive I have bottlenecks my performance (my other HW is decent. Core i5 3340, 3.10 ghz, 8 GB DDR3 RAM, and a 750 Ti NVIDIA card). I will be putting 16 GB in once I get the money, but I will also be putting either one of those 10,000 RPM drives, or an SSD. I'm thinking the 10,000 RPM one would be a good choice since I write data so constantly. Currently defragging the hard drive....
Top Secret Researcher
#987 Old 20th Jul 2017 at 5:26 PM Last edited by Gargoyle Cat : 20th Jul 2017 at 6:15 PM.
Doctors' office insists that I take a drug that I'm allergic to. When your chest seizes up in a matter of seconds after taking said drug, that is the body saying "NOPE!" Either they are trying kill me, or they are after their big kickbacks from Big Pharma. Either way, they can fug off. I'm not spending $75.00 on a drug that I can't take.


There's no rest for the wicked
Theorist
#988 Old 20th Jul 2017 at 9:32 PM Last edited by PANDAQUEEN : 20th Jul 2017 at 9:44 PM.
Hottest Day so far in the Town Record (95 Fahrenheit).

You think my cat Gemini would have already melted today. She's enjoying the weather, but I want her to come in for a drink of water.

Today, I designed pictures for money envelopes. Each picture has imagery associated with what I am saving money for.

For example, I have a gnome saying "I'm calling for backups...No! Don't Back UP!" which the picture is a reference to Travelocity's take on the stolen garden gnome prank. I actually back up videos onto disc and I am 30% of that spindle of 100 remaining I bought a while back

I have the infamous "Educational Television" roadsign from SpongeBob on another for a DVD set I plan on purchasing. I am a geek.

I even did one for my Trip to Japan, with the Tokyo Tower (which once served as an analog antenna for Tokyo's broadcasted channels) and the Tokyo Skytree (which now replaces Tokyo Tower in terms of broadcasts by digital transmission. It's also the tallest building in Japan as far as I can tell.)

I actually had fun drawing my goals on the envelopes. I ran out of envelopes and may needed to order more.

http://richinc.boards.net <--- My forum. Currently has a general talk board and a cooking board. Check back for more boards... please don't hurt me.
Top Secret Researcher
#989 Old 20th Jul 2017 at 11:06 PM
Very odd day today, and I'm not sure if I should post this here or in the What Made Your Day Today thread it could go in either one really. As some of you may have read I posted a message in the social groups section for the first time in a long time, and if you haven't read it then don't it isn't a nice message at all. I truly wanted to just die, and end all of this mess. I sent a message to the only person I talk to on Facebook and said something to her about how I was feeling. I showed her that same message I posted here, though I also posted it on the forum where I met her so I just showed her that, and she decided to do something about it. Three police officers showed up at the door, and they had an ambulance come pick me up and take me to the hospital. While waiting on the ambulance one of the officers mentioned if I knew anyone from Sweden, and I immediately knew why those officers were there. The only person I know from Sweden is the girl I talk to on Facebook, she called to get help and I nearly cried because it just shows how much she truly cares. I talked to several people at the hospital about things, and it looks like I'll get the help I really need. They're going to set me up with insurance and a psychiatrist too, and hopefully this will be the beginning of the end to this pain I've been dealing with.

And yeah special isn't even a strong enough word to describe the girl that did this for me. She's most likely going to be the reason I get things turned around, so I really feel like I owe her a lot. I hope I can get myself going again so I can do something for her in the future.

Every part of me wants to believe there's a darkness we need to feel for the brightest light to be seen and felt inside.
Theorist
#990 Old 20th Jul 2017 at 11:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by haywud
Very odd day today, and I'm not sure if I should post this here or in the What Made Your Day Today thread it could go in either one really. As some of you may have read I posted a message in the social groups section for the first time in a long time, and if you haven't read it then don't it isn't a nice message at all. I truly wanted to just die, and end all of this mess. I sent a message to the only person I talk to on Facebook and said something to her about how I was feeling. I showed her that same message I posted here, though I also posted it on the forum where I met her so I just showed her that, and she decided to do something about it. Three police officers showed up at the door, and they had an ambulance come pick me up and take me to the hospital. While waiting on the ambulance one of the officers mentioned if I knew anyone from Sweden, and I immediately knew why those officers were there. The only person I know from Sweden is the girl I talk to on Facebook, she called to get help and I nearly cried because it just shows how much she truly cares. I talked to several people at the hospital about things, and it looks like I'll get the help I really need. They're going to set me up with insurance and a psychiatrist too, and hopefully this will be the beginning of the end to this pain I've been dealing with.

And yeah special isn't even a strong enough word to describe the girl that did this for me. She's most likely going to be the reason I get things turned around, so I really feel like I owe her a lot. I hope I can get myself going again so I can do something for her in the future.


Sometimes the people who you think won't make a difference actually can reveal their true heart.

We believe in you.

http://richinc.boards.net <--- My forum. Currently has a general talk board and a cooking board. Check back for more boards... please don't hurt me.
Lab Assistant
#991 Old 20th Jul 2017 at 11:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by haywud
And hopefully this will be the beginning of the end to this pain I've been dealing with.


Good luck on your journey, I hope things begin to look up for you and anyone else here who is feeling this way. The road to recovery of any kind is long, but the hardest part is recognition and initiative to get help.
Glad someone was there to help you along.
Alchemist
Original Poster
#992 Old 20th Jul 2017 at 11:39 PM Last edited by HarVee : Yesterday at 12:22 AM.
Quote:
Originally Posted by haywud
They're going to set me up with insurance and a psychiatrist too, and hopefully this will be the beginning of the end to this pain I've been dealing with.

That's real fantastic ya habibi! We should celebrate later, yes?

View my (WIP) Pinterest boards to find TS2 CC that fits Mediterranean, Middle East, and North African 'hoods of all Eras:
Cars | Historical | Misc | Build | Buy

Words are very unnecessary. They can only do harm.
Alchemist
#993 Old Yesterday at 12:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by haywud
Very odd day today, and I'm not sure if I should post this here or in the What Made Your Day Today thread it could go in either one really. As some of you may have read I posted a message in the social groups section for the first time in a long time, and if you haven't read it then don't it isn't a nice message at all. I truly wanted to just die, and end all of this mess. I sent a message to the only person I talk to on Facebook and said something to her about how I was feeling. I showed her that same message I posted here, though I also posted it on the forum where I met her so I just showed her that, and she decided to do something about it. Three police officers showed up at the door, and they had an ambulance come pick me up and take me to the hospital. While waiting on the ambulance one of the officers mentioned if I knew anyone from Sweden, and I immediately knew why those officers were there. The only person I know from Sweden is the girl I talk to on Facebook, she called to get help and I nearly cried because it just shows how much she truly cares. I talked to several people at the hospital about things, and it looks like I'll get the help I really need. They're going to set me up with insurance and a psychiatrist too, and hopefully this will be the beginning of the end to this pain I've been dealing with.

And yeah special isn't even a strong enough word to describe the girl that did this for me. She's most likely going to be the reason I get things turned around, so I really feel like I owe her a lot. I hope I can get myself going again so I can do something for her in the future.


This is what I've been praying for. I would have called myself if I'd had any idea where you lived. Good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is truly no down side here. This is a new beginning for you. After a few days on some good meds and sessions with some good counselors you will be a new man. I'm sure there are wrap-around services, so there will be someone to hold your hand every step of the way.

Remember this is an illness, that's all it is. It can be treated and managed, and you can have a wonderfully bright future. God bless you, Haywud. Let us hear from you soon. )))))))))))

"Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for awhile."
Theorist
#994 Old Yesterday at 7:30 PM Last edited by PANDAQUEEN : Yesterday at 7:42 PM.
My mother was rather chipper for someone who had a root canal. She bought me avocado sushi and I rooted around in the basement. For the life of me, how do you lose a dish filled with push pins in transit?

I decided to keep my online shopping expenses to the maximum of $150 total. I personally have my eye on that DVD set, The Nintendo Switch and more Dancemania CDs

http://richinc.boards.net <--- My forum. Currently has a general talk board and a cooking board. Check back for more boards... please don't hurt me.
Alchemist
#995 Old Yesterday at 7:41 PM
If I told you how many times I had lost things like my computer mouse or tv remote while sitting in one spot on my sofa, you would move to have me committed.

"Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for awhile."
Theorist
#996 Old Yesterday at 7:51 PM Last edited by PANDAQUEEN : Yesterday at 8:43 PM.
Quote:
Originally Posted by smorbie1
If I told you how many times I had lost things like my computer mouse or tv remote while sitting in one spot on my sofa, you would move to have me committed.


My mother is usually the one who loses the remote when it's Right Next To HER! And then she says "Coulda bit me!" Once we point it out to her.

I may come from a family of geniuses, but my mother, who is a self-proclaimed dingbat, makes me wonder about that study that says intelligence comes from the mother.

In fact, any time we talk of sophisticated technology, she claims to hear carnival music.

I love her, but she's airheaded.

I'm not bashing my mother. This is insight as to why my mother and I don't get along easily. Not only is she airheaded, but she's a bit traditionalist and conservative in certain areas. Then again, she was a helicopter mother in my school days.

http://richinc.boards.net <--- My forum. Currently has a general talk board and a cooking board. Check back for more boards... please don't hurt me.
Page 40 of 40
Back to top