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Scholar
#1726 Old Yesterday at 9:45 PM
Let's forget I asked about Eurovision... It's just a show.
Ah! 1PM! family rolls out of bed! and the peace and quiet is at an end.
Think I'll go attack the back weeds... I'm pretty sore, but the worst that could happen is that I drop dead.
Can't wait for the final episode of Game of Thrones tonight.
{Ducks and runs!!}

Sims are better than us.
#1727 Old Today at 12:05 AM
Woke up almost at noon today. Probably because I stayed up till midnight last night drinking wine.

And I'm on my period. Ugh. It's a little late, but at this point, it's better late than never. There are things I need/want to do before I have even one child.

Life is paradoxically coincidental to the ironical tyranny applicable to the unparalleled definition of reverse entropy.

"A thunderstorm breaks the wall of darkness." - Lyrics to Storm

"Meh." - me
Mad Poster
#1728 Old Today at 1:02 AM
Just working on a system of wallets for my work as a doll maker and other hobbies.

One day, I will be able to buy something without a loan from my parents and accepting only coin as my only means of savings (I'm fine with saving coin, but I have only wrapped one roll of pennies... that's 50¢ and 50¢ will probably get you a vending machine gumball).

The majority of the money is going towards the monster of a PC, Bessie III, of which I have yet to sit at her desktop and use it to my full potential.

For one, I do not have a touch screen, I have my grandmother's TV from before she died 5 years ago.

I do not have a microphone to record my voice or ambient noise.

I do not have a tablet like the Wacom cintiq pro so I can watch where I'm drawing without having to look at the main screen. I was pretty much blind, being forced into developing highly advanced senses because I can't afford decent equipment. Do I look like a mole?

I can't even broadcast my game play (I'm on Steam playing Sonic and Dead or Alive.) and give audio\visual play by play.

Nor do I have camera equipment for anything as simple as a Q&A. Right now, I can't broadcast in the basement. It's cricket season and I hate dealing with crickets. We used to allow Gemini to eat them, but she would throw them back up.

Actually, the only camera equipment is a tripod that fits a smartphone. However my smartphone has terrible picture quality in terms of use of a video camera. Then again, it wasn't exactly meant for video capture.

"There are some obstacles that cannot be removed with a mere show of force."
-King of Atlantis, as portrayed by Leonard Nimoy, Atlantis: The Lost Empire
Mad Poster
#1729 Old Today at 1:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PANDAQUEEN
I do not have a touch screen...
I do not have a microphone to record my voice or ambient noise.
I do not have a tablet...
I can't even broadcast my game play...


A touch screen for a PC/laptop may be money out of the window (that idea works better for a smaller format like a phone or iPad/tablets, for now anyway). Get a drawing tablet instead, if you're planning to draw. You don't need an expensive one, just a decent quality but still cheap one. Same with a microphone or whatever else you need.

Whenever you start earning enough money to save up for more expensive stuff, you can buy higher quality items. That's how most (now) pros did it. Start small and work your way up. And... you know... maybe consider finding some work so you can pay for all your hobbies/projects? Or concentrate on one of the creative ones, and maybe set up something like an Etsy, so you can earn a bit of money there? Saving coins is a very long-term project, so I'd not think you'll get rich anytime soon if that's all you manage to save.

Maybe you should start focusing on one or two projects and save up for the equipment you need for those, instead of having 100+ different things going on at a time, all needing equipment. It does sound like you've got at least one new project going on every time you post. Maybe dial it back a little bit. It's not like all those hobbies, interests and projects are going to run away while you're focusing on the most important ones.
Mad Poster
#1730 Old Today at 2:37 AM Last edited by PANDAQUEEN : Today at 7:51 AM.
I just can't walk up and shake hands to get a job. I tried applying for jobs by filling out applications (the old fashioned way), but because my condition (panic attacks) prevents me from driving safely, I never got a call back.

(I live in the boonies\rural area, which forces people to drive. Public transportation is non-existent. The only transportation I can afford on my classification as disabled is a specialized service for transportation for doctor appointments and to the training office for occupational rehab and other employment services.)

I have to go through a much more complex and grueling process.

Once my final surgery is over with upon the complete healing of the implant stitching...I still have numerous appointments that were supposed to be addressed months ago, but due to my father's 3 month sentence for his drunk driving, all that had to be put on hold. Now is not the time to judge my father, because he hated every single moment of the sentence. My mother works during the afternoon and into early morning, making certain appointments impossible. Then, I have to open up a case with my case manager which leads to 3 days a week, for 25 days, training for a set job, earning sub minimum wage due to poor funding. On the performance review, it's cut and dry: either they set me up with a job or they kick me out for poor performance and make me attempt the above mentioned filling out applications.

Not to mention, I have been out of my apprenticeship as a Publications grunt doing grunt work for 4.5 months. That was 10 years ago, when I lived on the other side of the country. I lost my letter of recommendation from my boss, Mr. Reeder. Nice guy, a bit incorrigible, but his heart was in the right place.

I was essentially trained for office work for 3½ years when I graduated after 1st semester of senior year high school. But it's not really me. Eventually I would have to come to grips with the passive aggressive tone of the office and adhere to an environment of egos with a variety of personalities that are not that much different from high school. Depending on the clique, some of them are out to get you. Actually, when I lived in WA, they practically groomed us for work in office environments.

(Forgive me, the EAS is causing me to panic. We were originally alerted of a tornado...False alarm on the tornado, but every so often, it's like a splattering rain hits the roof.)

Either way, I am trying to upgrade and repurpose some furniture and I may need to see if my cousins can help me with something.

I am usually given 50¢-$1 in coin which I have been saving in color coded piggy bank that, although on the small sized can fit probably 1000 coins of each denomination. But so far, I haven't found suitable storage for the rolled coin.

My cousins are to be of woodworking service (I never took any creative classes that didn't involve electronics. From freshman year to sophomore year, I was part of the videography club. My freshman entry, a VHS only release due to funding issues, was just a taste of what chaos lay beneath the trendsetter exterior. I was always years ahead for some reason. Punk fashion, dying hair Manic Panic colors and I spent 4 years alone wearing wigs of all kinds) My project for them is I need suitable storage that allows for use of my video game consoles (some I hung onto, some I bought through the retro market) but all need a more compact but vented design and it needs to allow clearance for models like PSX, the Sega Dreamcast and the Nintendo GameCube. I have a basic concept. It's the final engineering that gets me.

I actually have many interests. Keeps me busy. Retro gaming is one of many.

I used to hang at a retro shop called Another Castle. Sometimes, I would trade games when money was tight, but eventually I would buy back some games. One of the most sentimental ones was Pokémon Stadium, one of my first Nintendo Console purchases.

Bottom Line: I can't go to work until I get my implant, a dental procedure requiring anesthesia (you know how the nerves in your mouth are part of the most sensitive in the body? Amplify that by 100x and that is why anesthetic is required) Get a CT scan for stones and see an endocrinologist about why, no matter how healthy I eat, I'm still gaining weight. Even then, there may not be a definite end. They may require more work if something is amiss.

The touch screen is because I have a Windows 10 PC, Bessie III. The microphone is because I work on audio\visual and I end up with easily broken headsets, which was not my intention, I was looking into drawing tablets that had screens instead of touch pads because I am not a mole who can't even see the nose in front of it.

FYI, I don't like dealing with people. People always leave me in my life. I have to move wherever my family takes me. Why should I bother dealing with someone who will be gone before I know them? Not to mention, I would have to marry a doctor along the lines of general practitioner because my health is off. I have more problems beyond my control. I may have to ask my father to pause between doctors so I can see my therapist.

"There are some obstacles that cannot be removed with a mere show of force."
-King of Atlantis, as portrayed by Leonard Nimoy, Atlantis: The Lost Empire
Mad Poster
#1731 Old Today at 1:05 PM
(TL;DR for the novel below: possible ways for Pandaqueen to find funds for her hobbies, plus a bit of well-meaning advice)

^ you do seem to have a lot of creative hobbies, so that's why I also mentioned something like Etsy, if you're willing to sell crafts. No need to meet up with people, and you could make a few bucks from your own house as long as people are interested in buying. Saving up/wishing for money for birthdays and Christmas may also be a good idea, and actually saving those money instead of using them right away. You could also wish for equipment and such, so you don't have to buy it. Selling items you no longer use and can do without is also an idea.

Unless you're really into drawing (or whatever else you need a tablet for), you don't need a touchscreen for Win10, just a mouse (which is a lot cheaper, and you probably have one already).

If your headsets break easily, either give in and just buy one of the cheap ones - or save up for a good quality one with sturdy parts. Either way, try to take care of it. Put it on your mind to put it down a safe place, don't chew the cords (a bad habit I've had, which does break a lot of headsets), and make sure the plug is safely connected (L-plugs are better than the ones that stick out like a breaking hazard). Basically, try to break the habits that ends up with a broken headset. Even a cheap one should last you a couple years or so if you take good care of it.

There are jobs where you barely see or have to deal with another person, so if you have issues with people, maybe look into what's available in the 'people-light' department. For some jobs you can do all the work over the net. Other jobs you can work the hours you feel like working, or take shifts when your health and time allows for it. Nowadays you can even get paid to do your hobby (just look at Youtube and Etsy and all those other creative formats, where you can basically get paid to do what you love if you're willing to work a bit for it at first, as long as you have some kind of talent or interests that enough peope are interested in, too).

It sounds like you're the kind of person who need to focus on one thing at a time to get things done. Too much, and it just piles up and you don't manage to keep your focus. I'm of a similar type, but I've kind of learned to deal with it, if not always in a very effective way. Sometimes I have to write lists to myself just to get through the workday, but I've found that helps keep me more focused. And my health acts up all the time. Sometimes I keep going even if my body says no, and eventually run straight into the famous wall somewhere along the line. Other times I realize I need to stop before I reach the wall.

Maybe you also need to do somthing with the "I can't do A because I need to do B, C, D, E, F and the rest of the alphabet before I'm ready" attitude. Yes, toothache can be horrible, but "I can't look around for a job because I need a dentist appointment" is somewhat flawed logic.

People come and go. That's the nature of having relationships - friends, foes, love-related, family, or otherwise. You just have to realize that if people leave you, it's not the nd of the world. I've had broken love (which led to a long obsession with Doctor who, because at the time I needed a pick-me-up, and a fellow housemate just so happened to introduce me to the Doctor), broken friendship (some I had to break because they were harmful to me, others just kind of faded away - which is a normal part of life. You rarely have exactly the same friends as a kid than when you're an adult. Took me the better part of 16 years to find a group of friends I felt comfortable with, and two more years to find a really good friend - we're still in touch even if we don't see each other much. I had to physically move away to get rid of a few foes, too). And you don't need to marry a doctor because your health is off (that may be a recipe for disaster, because I can imagine doctors like to have some time off from their work). People aren't always out to get you, so maybe you just need to give them a chance.

I have a touch of social anxiety, particularly related to some kind of performance, talking to strangers, phone calls, and anything authorative. I don't mind being around people, but I often find conversation difficult, particularly the professional part of it. Ever since I first got sick, I've had some issues with stringing together words into sentences, and often losing track of what I was saying, which doesn't make this any easier. In my case, it's a constant practice and trying to go beyond my limits, but I know that if I don't challenge myself I'll eventually just sit indoors and never see other people than my closest family ever again, and that's not a life I'm willing to live (even though I do prefer my own company most of the time).

Health issues are a pain in the arse, I know that from my own experience. But most of the time it's possible to work around them. It's not like you need a '9 to 5' job 5 days a week, if you don't have the energy or health for it. Some people are happy just to be a substitute for a few hours a week, or sell crafts, make Youtube videos, or whatever else gives them even a meager income. Sitting in your room playing retro games won't get you anywhere, unless you're one of those who are able to earn money via Youtube or similar by posting videos about gaming. All you get is a few hours of fun, and that's those hours basically wasted on nothing. Wasting time is fun, but it's more reasonable to have some productive hours with possible income, and then waste those hours relaxing with your games, because it's a bit more earned.

---

Anyway, finally called to figure out why I haven't heard back from the hospital regarding a neurological second opinion. Turned out they'd messed up the referral or forgotten about it (not surprised, considering how messy this entire experience has been), and I think I talked to at least 5-6 people before they figured it out (just a reminder - I hate phone calls even when I only have to talk to one person). So hopefully that got sorted out. I'm still not in a good shape, so hopefully things start happening soon...

That's one thing ticked on today's practical to-do-list. Now off to do some fun stuff.
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#1732 Old Today at 1:47 PM
My fish, like the rest of my pets, are weird. I had a 'Aha' moment a few minutes ago. Before I go into that, we need to travel back to last week.

While doing my usual tank maintenance last Friday, I noticed one of my anubias didn't look right. It looked like it had been chewed on, but since none of my fish are plant-chewers, I didn't think much of it. I trimmed off the destroyed leaf, and put it back. This morning I checked the tank looking for more new growth from the Jungle Val as I was starting to think a few of the plants were dead. They're not and are now starting to spit out new growth which makes me happy. Doing a quick look-over for the rest of the tank, I discovered a leaf of one of the Amazon Swords has been chewed on. It isn't just a few bite marks, there is literally about a inch of the leaf missing to the vein of the leaf.

My non-plant eating Bleeding Heart Tetras are having 'salads' after I shut down my office for the day and go to bed. They are fed and in days when I had more fish, if I put things like blanched spinach or zucchini in the tank, they wouldn't go near it. If they are going to insist on making a salad of my plants, I prefer that they munch on the Amazon Swords as I had planned to take them out once the Vals grew in anyway, but it would be nice if they ate some fish food as well instead of ignoring it like they usually do.

Cyber Tip Line for Exploited Children
Children should always feel like the adults are living in this world to nurture them, to take care of them, to protect them from any bad thing that might come. ~Chris Cornell
Mad Poster
#1733 Old Today at 1:53 PM
Really tired. I didn't sleep well last night, and I don't really feel like doing anything today. I have no idea when my next midwife appointment is - I swear she wrote it down but I can't find it but she's not answering her phone. I want to say it's on Thursday?

~Your friendly neighborhood ginge
Mad Poster
#1734 Old Today at 4:24 PM Last edited by PANDAQUEEN : Today at 5:41 PM.
I lost a night's sleep because of the EAS screeching alarm warning first of a tornado, then a downgrade to severe thunderstorm. It was scraped nails on a chalkboard.

If I want to make friends, I rather make the first move and only ask for advice first. Besides, my day was awful. I was early to the doctor, but the doctor was late. He came in an hour late and I made a rather dark joke "In the time I was waiting, I could have annihilated an entire solar system." He asked "How far away?" And I said "Where's Trappist-1?" and he asked about my interest in science. Everything was okay. Just had to prep for the final installation.

I am currently spending my summer in the hospital. Between operations and procedures, I am seeing Colleen, a woman who had to be my advisor and advocate in my most difficult of quandaries. I spend a lot of time in the hospital that my humidity-curled mop of green and pink hair is seen through the halls. My test implant is successful, so in a few days, I get the full implant and the battery-operated pack that powers it in my ass. Then, take a break and catch up on Colleen. Then, they fix a couple of broken back teeth in June and July is for organ inspection.

I actually am busy with my own problems as you can tell and have a while before I can work on using conversational language in the field. Personally, I am extremely rusty. Most of the people I work with are doctors, specialists and therapists and they seen it all. Out of my oddball behavior, it runs the gamut of typical for their lines of work. My problem is I might overwhelm others. So I guess I could spend time in recovery working and modifying grand entrances into short stories with warmth.

"There are some obstacles that cannot be removed with a mere show of force."
-King of Atlantis, as portrayed by Leonard Nimoy, Atlantis: The Lost Empire
Mad Poster
#1735 Old Today at 4:52 PM Last edited by Bigsimsfan12 : Today at 5:10 PM.
I'm getting backache and cramps. With Adam having an exam in 24 hours... Now would not be the best time to have the baby Here's hoping it's just more Braxton Hicks.

Edit: and suddenly I have stretch marks that weren't there this morning? Damnit I thought I'd gone the whole way through the pregnancy without getting any.

~Your friendly neighborhood ginge
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