I actually haven't seen this one done yet — a quick search turns up teenage WooHoo, too bad it's not that fun or easy in real life, ha! — so I'll have a take on it.

What do people think of teenage parents? They're all over and an issue in Western countries now (but mainly high numbers exist in North America and New Zealand, even though United Kingdom has a rising rate).

As for third world countries, I can't really say. Most rural parts of the Middle East, Africa, and Asia think that becoming a parent while most kids in Western countries would still be in high school is perfectly acceptable — their theory is that it's a symbol of fertility, femininity, and youth. Of course, growing up in such conditions, you have to remember these people are not offered much education or the luxuries residents of Western countries have come to take for granted.

By teenage parents, I do mean those who popped at eighteen or earlier. The definition doesn't go by "ready [emotionally/mentally/financially]" or not. It's the age, and age of consent, and all that. Generally, a teenage parent is an adolescent girl who gives birth before the legal "invincible" age in her state (generally eighteen, although they range from fourteen to even twenty-one). After the age of eighteen, "teen parent" seems kind of a tricky label to place on such girls, it's more like a young mom at that point until twenty-three (unless it's in one of those countries where the legal age, absolutely, is not, until twenty or twenty-one). Eighteen's the cutoff — between nineteen and twenty-two is just a young parent. But yes, almost always when people say "teenage parent", they mean a person under the age of eighteen who has a child of their own.

A lot of celebrities were born to teenage parents — Selena Gomez's mother had her at the age of sixteen, Oprah Winfrey's parents popped her at fourteen and was raised by her grandmother, and Obama's mother had him when she was eighteen. Even today, we see Jamie Lynn (who discovered she was pregnant at sixteen, and gave birth to Maddie Briann two months after her seventeenth birthday) and Bristol Palin (turned eighteen two months before she gave birth to her first child, Tripp Easton Mitchell).

I think it's really a hard thing to do. I wasn't a teenage parent, but they struggle so much emotionally and financially. Some people say that teenage parents should be treated as normal adult parents and it's not fair, but other people say that it was their fault for lack of birth control, responsibility, and so on, so forth.

Should they be treated as regular adults? Thoughts? Opinions?

Oh, and sorry for such a long post. I feel like this has turned into a school essay, but I felt the need to clarify.

EDIT: I realized this was too much talk about just the mothers, so you can add the hardships of teenage fathers as well.

I'm looking at it from the perspective of the baby. It doesn't matter who had the child, what age they had the child or whether it was a planned or unplanned pregnancy. You brought that baby into this world and decided to keep it so you are responsible for it. If you are unfit to raise that child and give it it's basic rights (food, shelter, clothing, etc.) then it must be taken away and capable parents found for it. Babies are not pets or fashion accessories, they are young human beings incapable of taking care of themselves and completely dependant on their guardians. So, in that vein, yes, 'teenage parents' should be treated as adults because they now have an 'adult responsibility'. If they don't want the responsibility, give the child up.

A few teen parents do have the babies just so that they can have someone to "love them", though. Then they get mad when they can't raise the kid (because they're so young, there are additional difficulties during pregnancy, school, and then watching and supporting). It's sad how less the teenage parents really thought about something like this.

In Britain you can marry and have a child at 16.

Why do you focus on the "girls"? This is ignoring the other part of the equation.
The issue is whether any parent/s can adequately look after and bring up a child.

There is a lot of bile against young parents but I feel it is mostly based in religious or moralistic ideals.
The practicalities are different and it must be very hard to bring up a child when you are very young even without the social stigma.

If someone is prepared to have a child and look after it properly then I have no problem.
I do personally think that it’s sad to see some very young people having children as it does limit their chances of an education and a career but that is their choice and who are we to condemn them.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean any offense by talking about the teenage mothers... it's 6:09 AM here and I haven't slept all night.

It is hard, no doubt. But sometimes it's those very same religious or moral beliefs that brought them to the decision of being a mom at twelve in Africa (or wherever rural country). They think it characterizes what they believe in and who they are.

So from here on out, feel free to talk about the teen dads as well.

I honestly know you didn’t mean any offence and I do understand that it is usually the teenage mother that is left to pick up the pieces.

My ex's sister was abbandoned at 16 with her delightful daughter,
He basically wanted nothing to do with his daughter and would rather party.

Unfortunately this is the reality for many teenaged mothers. shame on these, so called fathers, not on the mothers.

Having kids is a BIG step, and I don't think a lot of teens are ready for it emotionally and financially. There's so much in your life still to experience as a young person, and once you have a child, the child has to come first, period. Further education, travel, even things like being able to take a shower or go to the bathroom without a kid hanging off you become extremely difficult. It's something you have to be ready for, to prepare yourself physically and mentally, and to understand that you're closing one chapter of your life and starting a new one - and you can never return to the way things were before, no matter what. You can't rely on your parents, or friends, or anyone else but your own self to care for and provide for that child. If you're lucky, you have the other parent to stand by you and help out, but in the case of many teens, that's rare.

I think there needs to be a lot more education - not specifically birth control/etc. but to understand what it's actually like to have a baby/child. You go out and you see cute sleeping babies in strollers and it's easy to think "Gosh, I'd like one of those, they look so cute and cuddly!" What you don't see is the vomit, the piss, the shit, the giant piles of laundry, the food ground into the carpet, the stuff they break, the hours and hours of crying when they're teething, the exasperation at having -just- gotten them to sleep after an hour of pacing with them and having them wake back up... Patience seems to be the number one necessity in being a parent, and that's not something teens usually have.

Those crying dolls they give to teens to teach them about having a baby are interesting, but I think they oversimplify the situation. They're preprogrammed, and I'm pretty sure you can get them to shut up fairly easily. But anyone who's ever had a teething/colicky/tired baby in their arms knows it ain't near that easy, and I doubt most teens would really love pacing back and forth around the living room, singing, cuddling, back rubbing, turning on the shower for white noise, etc., until the baby calms down, while their friends are out having fun.

But it is possible for teen parents to be successful. My sister had her first child at 16, on her own without the help of the father, and her daughter turned up to be a strong, funny, vibrant young woman that I'm very proud of.

But I can't imagine having a baby at 16, or even 18. It's enough of a challenge at 25.

You're right, it's not just the girls. Boys can be single teen parents too (some girls just split. It happens). Here, we're seeing more fathers become involved with their kids and it's great because everyone assumes because they're black they don't care. In my society we have alot of teen parents but I don't know the statistics so I can't quote anything. Most grandparents are understanding but it's still a stigma among the older generation since our community is primarily an Anglican society.

I know of some girls that leave their babies with the grandparents so they can go partying and hang with friends. Some girls intentionally get pregnant to 'trap' a boyfriend or to steal him from another girl. Others are just in it for the child support to get 'free money' buy things for themselves. The boys are no better as most of them have four and five kids from different women and don't pay a cent in child support. It's ridiculous.

But, there are the responsible ones who do manage to juggle their studies, job and raising the baby with minimal help and it's not easy at all. It's nice to want to have someone to love but babies require more than just love. I see alot on TV that American schools have this class where you pretend to take care of a sack of flour or something. It's really not the same and I can understand not wanting to leave a real animal (can't use real babies) with high school teens but, until they realize just how stressful it is taking care of a child, then maybe they will practice more birth control.

Teens who do get preggy need help when raising kids, not judgement. They should not be treated like adults but like pregnant teens. Only some are mature enough to handle it. They need to get extra help if they need it.

HystericalParoxysm,

That's a good point, the stereotyping of children needs to be addressed.
Society needs to get off this “new house, new baby” type obsession,
It's not just children that are indoctrinated, it happens throughout life.

I told some friends and acquaintances when I was 30, that I didn't want to have children, the answer I got shocked me.

"We have been trying to have a baby for years and it looks like we cant, how can you sit there and say you don't want children? do you hate children?"
This was all said in a nasty hateful tone.
This attitude in far from unique.

With pressure like that from married 30+ adults, what chance have kids got to make their own minds up

It seems like somehow the "Quote" option broke right now?

Anyway, Neil, I've heard the same from my sister and many classmates. "I'm not having kids, so that's it."

The Chinese American writer Amy Tan is almost sixty now, has been married since 1974 to a man she met on a blind date, and has never had children. She said, "I can't promise I won't make the same mistakes my mother [her dad and brother passed away when she was sixteen] did."

The flour sack thing can also be chicken eggshells or even paper dolls. We never had that, though, and I heard there's major dispute as to if it's actually even working.

My parents think everyone should have kids, and they can't even raise their own. Don't get me started!

Yeah, I read in a news article that some UK high school girls have a competition to see who can have a baby first. That's so wrong.



My sister's friend knows a girl who went to school with them and she has two kids (a four year old boy and eleven month old girl) and she just turned twenty-two. Yeah... I'm not sure how that's working out for her, but her parents didn't even care, just got drunk at the baby shower and bought her a big house with a pool.

Babies do make for so much laundry. Then you'll have to deal with the crawling, those gates that you use to keep them out of your private biz, and then there's the walking and talking. Even after they go to kindergarten, one day they'll grow up and be like us... It's too much.

Yeah, it's nothing like what they show on Sims. If it were that easy (and some people are already annoyed by it), we'd have five times the world population over.

1ove.
My parents never asked or even hinted about me having kids, it was accepted that it would be my choice; I will never stop respecting them for that.

Do you think that the expectation by parent is a real problem?
I do, I have heard many parents say to their kids "when am I going to get a grandchild?" like it's got anything to do with them.

This sociatal expectation that people have children is the root of the problem, kids are impressionable and they will feed of this and start to believe they aren't normal without a child.

The flour sack could help, but what are the chances of schools that either won’t or find it hard to explain sex education going near the actuality of pregnancy, especially for teenages?

The "have the first baby" thing sounds like bullying, bet the ones making the most noise don’t want kids.

Yeah, it seems like most traditional Asians want their kids to have kids somehow. (Except for Mainland Chinese currently thirty or under, I don't know how that's going — what do only children think of having kids? Any only kids here wanna tell me?) And that's bad, because many kids think and look up to their parents and family. When you push something on them, they're going to think it's a good thing. They will be sorely disappointed — even if it helps fuel our Earth and spawn the next generation — when they found out it's really a big ol' bore. My parents said they wouldn't of have had kids if it weren't for their OWN parents and sisters bickering.

Even now, my dad swayed and just goes, "If your ma wants one so bad, tell HER to take care of it."

My parents were 16 when they fell pregnant with me. Of course I wasn't planned but my mom refused to abort me. My dad stuck by her and now, 15 years later, They are married and expecting their 3rd baby.

That's very courageous. Reminds me of an old friend whose dad received a scholarship at seventeen and moved with his girlfriend (who was sixteen) from Malaysia to Sydney. They're now nearing fifty, long married, and have two boys.

Sadly, you're a lucky one... most teen parents don't turn out like that.

I think the biggest pressure to have children is in Christianity.
Outside that the biggest problem with uncontrolled childbirth is in poor desperate people who either have no education on the issues, no accessibility to birth control, religious interference or are so desperate that the only comfort they have is the intimacy of their partner.

I so agree that having a child young, even if you’re a millionaire with great family support takes so much from a young life.
The one thing society doesn’t realise is that the whispered secrets between concerned parents are common knowledge to even the most isolated 10yr old today.

It is about time society got off their prim and proper white stallions of morality and accepted this world is different and Victorian values no longer mean anything.

These issues can only be dealt with by impartial education, hiding under a veil of moralistic embarrassment and concern is foolish and destructive.

What the hell does Christianity have to do with pressure to have kids? Seriously, Neil, your anti-Christian biases make for some ridiculous statements. Aren't Christians the ones pressuring teens NOT to have sex, therefore not have kids? Which is it?

Jews seem to have kids just fine, so do Muslims, Buddhists, atheists, agnostics, pagans, etc. How is pressure to have kids a "Christian" thing? Please, enlighten us.

Look up Catholics, lol

PS to 1love responce.
These child pregnancy issues can only be dealt with by impartial education, hiding under a veil of moralistic embarrassment and concern is foolish and destructive.

Wait, you're male, right? Are you married? What does the wife think of you not having kids (if you're not married, skip the question)?

Well, most rules are outdated for our society today.



I'm not on either side, but the Christians are "anti stem cell" and "anti creationism"; they claim that God put them here to breed and spread the ends of the Earth (look at Duggars, Jeubs, Yates, and other Christian families).

You assume correctly that I don't and never have wanted my own kids.
My ex's didn't want children. I would never chose to be in a relationship with someone that did. that would be so unfair.
I'm 45 now so the issue seems a bit mute.
I can safely be happy without it coming up.

BTW I started the Atheism debate thread so religion has no basis in my life.
We need to get rid of arcane values and myths as much as we need to shed outdated and unrealistic moralistic ideals.

Catholics being opposed to unnatural forms of birth control is not the same as pressure to have kids. The Duggars and their like made personal choices to have large families, it is not because their church told them to. You are confusing personal choices with church dogma.

1ove, are you refering to adult stem cell research, or embryonic stem cell research? They are not the same thing, and one requires the termination of a human life, one does not. A lot of Christians oppose EMBRYONIC stem cell research, but have nothing against adult stem cell research, because embryonic stem cells require the termination of the host that gives the sample. If they could find a way to extract the stem cells without killing the embryos, everything would be copacetic.

What is anti-creationism, at least how you are defining it? Do you really mean anti-evolution? I am just not sure what you are referring to with that...

Teaching teens NOT to have sex instead and lacking to teach safe sex is exactly what gets so many teen pregnancies. So yes, christianity is responsible for teen pregnancies. The USA has the highest teen preggy rate of the western educated countries. Living in christian USA gives you an 9 (!) times higher chance to become preggy as a teen than in holland.

Christians have UNREALISTIC ideas, like preaching abstinence gets less teens preggy.



For the source or information look up"
Adolescent Sexual Health in Europe and the U.S.—Why the Difference? http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/in...=419&Itemid=336

Or my old post http://www.modthesims.info/showthre...5#startcomments

Duggars did not make personal choice. They were disappointed because Michelle (the mom) suffered a miscarriage. Shortly afterwards, they encountered a Bible verse and they said that God brought them here for kids. They all have similar stories. They bravely popped out one after another, childbirth almost every year. It even says on their websites.

Okay, Christian beliefs have nothing to do with this thread (as has already been stated). I don't really pay attention to these things, just look it up, read Michelle Malkin and the Anne Coulter lady.

Take this part to another religious thread; it has nothing to do with teen preggos anymore.

You can show all the charts you want, but that still does not address the "putting pressure to have kids" aspect. Birth control methods have nothing to do with peer pressure to reproduce, and until you can show proof that there is any more peer pressure to have children from Christians than any other group, I will stand by my statement. The issue is pressure to have kids, not birth control methods. I was challenging Neil's statement that Christianity is responsible for placing undue pressure on people to have kids, which has nothing to do with birth control. Again, it isn't having kids, its the pressure felt to have them that is the problem I have with Neil's comments.

And 1ove, considering you are the one that brought stem cell research into the discussion, I find it somewhat hypocritical that you now say "take it to another thread".

First off, it only says that to show that Christians don't believe in it, and they also believe in having "as many kids as God allows". As in, illustrating what else they don't buy — doesn't mean the topic is about that. I wrote a nice long post to talk about pregnant teenagers (and parents), not about stem cell stuff. There's like, five whole threads on religion and those science debates.