'My Fake Baby' is the name of a documentary broadcast in the UK (and I think in other countries too) surrounding women who buy 're-borns': extremely realistic baby dolls. They care for these dolls just as they would do a real baby: they have prams and car seats and cots and clothes, and sometimes it's own room. They dress them, bathe them, change their nappies, take them out with them. They have spend hundreds of pounds on them.

The documentary focused primarily on two women, both of whom were married. The first woman had never gotten around to having children, and the second had become very attached to her grandson who moved to New Zealand with his mother. The reasons these women buy re-borns is perhaps obvious, however makers of the dolls claim that not all of their customers buy them for the same reasons.

What do you guys think? Is it harmful for women to nurture a doll, or is perfectly alright?

As long as they're not spending money they don't have, and as long as they understand that it -is- actually a doll and they're just pretending (i.e. not delusional) then I don't really see the harm in it. People have all kinds of silly stuff they spend their time and money on - if it makes these people happy, then great.

It is pretty irritating when folks into reborns say they're just like real babies, or having one makes them feel like they have a real baby. Unless the thing vomits all over you every hour on the hour, wakes you up ten times a night, and breaks your stuff, it's nothing like a real baby.

There's also been cases where reborns have been left in cars on hot days and have been reported as a real child trapped in the unattended car, with authorities called to get the kid out and they only realize it's a doll after they've wasted time they could have spent helping someone who is, y'know, not a doll. So don't leave your reborns in the car in a car seat or something, guys.

Other than that, whatever man. I like expensive polyurethane resin jointed dolls. They can enjoy their floppy baby dolls if they want.

It's not that much different than playing a game where you control the lives of simulated people.

My daughter had a doll that she carried everywhere. Its body was cloth but it had a strangely realistic head. Once when we were in a store she asked me to hold it, and I was juggling a lot of stuff and had it tucked under my arm. I saw an older man approaching me with his arms extended and a frozen look of horror on his face. As he got closer he said 'Oh my god, it's only a doll." Then he lectured me for owning a doll that looked real and could give someone a heart attack.

Eh, I had someone have a similar freak-out and lecture at me for an American Girl doll that I had when I was about 10. They're not even proportioned like a baby and have long hair down to the middle of their backs. I think people are just conditioned to see any small human-shape as a baby, and instinctively protect it.

Like playing the Sims, you mean?

Anyways, back to the original topic, I don't see any problem with people taking care of these baby dolls as long as they don't neglect their more important priorities- like taking care of their real children or something like that.

I have a cousin who makes realistic baby dolls for a living. She doesn't seem to have any issues. Creepy looking glassy-eyed realistic dolls are creepy though. My grandmother's house is now littered with dead babies.

Each of us has our own brand of "crazy." Like HP said, who are they harming? I'm...not 10, lol, and still collect AG dolls. We all have fun making pixels wash dishes, do laundry, and use the bathroom. It's just hard to remember sometimes, when looking at other people's hobbies, that ours are just as quirky.

I'm fully aware that reborns are NOT "just like" real babies, but I can see where the idea comes from. While real babies are a tremendous amount of work, there are dozens of little moments that make it all worth while. One of my favorites is the feel of that warm, soft weight against your chest as they drift off to sleep in a rocking chair. While no doll can fully replicate that, reborns seem to come close...especially to a woman who can't or won't have children of her own. There's a biological pull toward that picture, I think; I know I ache for it when I'm on vacation and don't have my daily "baby fix" from my job. I don't think that *all* of the women are totally clueless as to the amount of work that goes into motherhood...I think it's more about having something that looks and feels like a baby to love.

What scares me is that I looked at the comments and the first two were from women who wanted fake babies to replace an actual child they've lost. That strikes me as very psychologically harmful--instead of actually dealing with the loss, they hide it.

But if you just want a fake baby to play with, eh? Strikes me as lame, but if it harms no one else, then I guess it's okay.

No problem with it if it's not harming anyone but I honestly find it creepy in my opinion.

I dunno if it's necessarily harmful to have a baby doll, to deal with the loss of a real child. I can't imagine how painful that would have to be, and if it helps those women to have the weight and feel and whatnot of a baby in their arms while they're dealing with such a loss... as long as they understand that a fake baby is not a replacement... People should grieve in the way that makes them happy, even if it seems strange to others.

Sometimes women buy these dolls to replace babies that they have lost or cannot have, and if that helps them, then great. These dolls creep me out. My younger sister (She's 10) has 3 of these dolls and she loves 'em. I did watch that documentary last night, and one woman spent £200+ on literally 3 things for one of her dolls, and she got all emotional while opening the box (She was fully able to have kids too, she just didn't want the noise. In fact; her words were "If you could pick a child off a shelf, then yeah I'd have them" WTF?). I was thinking, why? It's just a doll...

Eh, sounds like that lady may have spent her money differently from what you would, but... not being able to pick who or what your child becomes is a perfectly valid concern... as is not wanting to deal with the noise and crap that comes along with having kids. Sometimes ya just want the cute outfits and booties and stuff without all the vomit and stink. Plus if you put those cute outfits on a doll, they stay cute, vs. puked/shit/pissed/cookied on within 2 minutes and outgrown in a month.

I want to get one of the realistic dolls for my niece...her mom had one while growing up, and it was very cute.

I do think that, for the most part, owning these dolls is harmless. A bit weird, sure, but we all enjoy things that other people find strange. In many respects I agree that it is similar to playing life-simulation games.

However I completely agree with grumpy_otter: I think that there are certain circumstances in which it is harmful to the woman and her psychological health. I don't even think it really comes down to whether they can make the distinction between a real baby and doll, because the women on this documentary could, but it was their past circumstances which led them to buy the dolls which make me think their behaviour was unhealthy. They can't have the real child they want so they create a fake one. Sure it might make them happy for now, but how long will that last? Isn't it better that they deal with their pain and learn to move on rather than try to stave it off? It's like sticking a band aid on a gunshot wound - it might help a bit at first but eventually you've got to deal with the problem. If people are buying a re-born to just keep as a memento then that's different, but it's the women who treat them like a real baby, almost as a replacement, which is worrying.

For example, the older woman (Christine) on the documentary had built up a very strong attachment to her grandson (Harry) and when her daughter announced they were moving abroad, Christine asked her daughter to leave Harry behind to live with her. She then got a re-born made to look exactly like him. To me, that isn't right. She didn't get the doll to remember him, it was more like she was trying to fill the void she felt since they moved. That, I think, is harmful. The way she acted was as though he was dead, when he had just moved to another country.

As for the look of the dolls: dolls creep me out at the best of times (as do scarecrows, mannequins and dummies) but these are something else. Christine's husband didn't like her's, he said it was like something on a mortuary slab. I kind of agree with him.

Another country that is quite far away, and requires almost 24 hours traveling time (and, I do mean traveling, I'm not including any lay over time between legs of travel) to get to. On the other hand, how much is she spending on this doll, and how much of that could have been put towards a trip to see the real boy. Then again, how much family does she still have in Brittan? If her daughter was her only child, she might want to think of moving too.

Yeah it is far away but her reaction towards him leaving - and I mean just him, she didn't seem to be as bothered that her daughter was moving too - was extreme. She really was acting like he had died. I certainly don't deny that it would be hard for your child and grandchild to move so far away but most people handle it. She clearly couldn't. They talked on Skype so it wasn't like she had no contact.

Those dolls are expensive so your point about cost is a really good one. As for moving, it's super difficult to get a NZ citizenship.

it cant be that far fetched.
not in a world where we mourn one pet by buying another soon after its death.

as for 'reborn's...creepiest thing ive seen next to cannibalism and psychotic clowns.

I'll have to look this up, I guess what ever floats your boat... But it sounds a little... odd.

*EDIT*
GASP!!!!!!!!!!! CREEPY!!!!!!!!!

For some reason the documentary wont show here. Anyway viewing some youtube stuff I see no harm in these babies. People who lost a child love to have a memory of the child and this one is 3d. As long as they dont get desilusional its real it might help them.

For the rest of the women its just playing dolls.

Before my grandfather died, he was in a care facility. A number of the old ladies there had "babies": dolls that they carried around with them all day like they were their own children. I think these women had Alzheimer's, so there was probably some mental regression. I guess, in their minds, they were back in their 20s and taking care of their babies. It brought them comfort, and it certainly didn't hurt anyone else, so I don't see a problem with it in that sort of situation.

But with a younger woman who still has all her faculties... I don't know. At some point it seems like it would become a problem... especially if the woman has a spouse or other children.

Kinda creepy if you ask me but if it isn't doing any harm that should be okay.

I think it could be part of the healing process for some women. Just as animals who have babies or have lost their baby may adopt another animal as their child, a woman who has lost a child may have a psychological need to release all the nurturing that has built up in her body as she was preparing to be a parent.

I was too busy to post this earlier, but when I first checked this thread, there was a documentary (or something similar) on tv called "My monkey baby", basically couples adopting monkeys (breeders take them away from their mother at an extremely young age too in order for the monkeys to get attached to their human surrogates more easily), and they treat those monkeys as babies.

Stroke me as a big ressemblance to those doll babies in the reasonning behind the action. Many people actually choosing this because the monkey will remain their baby for life and never leave them, unlike their actual kids (who went to college and eventually moved out imagine that!), many even being honnestly offended when people wouldn't treat these monkeys as human babies.

Seems to me that this type of people, who resort to either dolls or monkeys to fill their parental instinct, need some form of therapy. At least the dolls are inanimate... I actually feel bad for those monkeys.

Until they eat your neighbor's face off. I am 100% against wild animals being raised that way--makes me madder than fake babies!

Other people have stated this, but we all have some strange hobby.
But these... *Shudder*
I can understand the release for the parenting that builds up and all, but really.
Some one else used the example of putting a band-aid on a shotgun wound. Perfect example.
Playing with dolls as a kids is perfectly fine! In-fact, my own parents would let me and my brother play with them. It gave good practice for holding them correctly.
These are just plain old Creepy!