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Field Researcher
#326 Old 12th Sep 2016 at 3:06 AM
Now this is a very tricky subject.

I think it depends on the context.

If someone chooses not to date, for example a Asian person due to stereotypes then that can be considered racist as you could be judging them solely on problematic stereotypes.

If some chooses to date a black person because they are more attracted to their facial features, fuller lips, etc then it doesn't to me. Just seems to me they prefer certain features that tend to occur in certain races.

I also think some people are attracted more to other races than others as they may have an affinity to that persons background or culture.

Its all variant depending on the situation but if someone said something blatant like "I don't date Indians because they are all stingy on a date" then I would consider that racist.
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Forum Resident
#327 Old 24th Dec 2016 at 7:13 PM
Honestly surprised that most people are saying it is racist. Some people have particular preferences. It doesn't mean they hate people of races that aren't part of their preferences.

This is like saying it's transphobic to not want to date a trans person.

Having preferences =/= racism

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Mad Poster
#328 Old 24th Dec 2016 at 8:29 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Averex
Honestly surprised that most people are saying it is racist. Some people have particular preferences. It doesn't mean they hate people of races that aren't part of their preferences.

This is like saying it's transphobic to not want to date a trans person.

Having preferences =/= racism


Well, it would be racist If somebody said "I don't wanna date you, cause you're black and you are a criminal" (if the last one is not a fact or just blantly states that without looking for evidence)". Even saying "black" part could probably be racist and highly offensive/insulting. Replacing the last part with "Nothing personal tho" I'd say it would be ok and not racist at all.
Lab Assistant
#329 Old 26th Dec 2016 at 6:18 PM
I guess, it's racist....but why should anyone take it seriously?
Instructor
#330 Old 26th Dec 2016 at 6:36 PM Last edited by pikeman101 : 31st Dec 2016 at 7:10 PM.
I maintain that, no matter how triggered it makes anyone, NO ONE has the right to sex. If you don't find someone attractive for whatever reason, that's justification enough not to date them.

EDIT: Love how someone thinks they do have a right to sex. Sorry, hon. No means no.
Top Secret Researcher
#331 Old 1st Jan 2017 at 11:56 PM
I hate how racisim is now often mistaked for differences between races. Simply pointing out the differences is not racist, but I see a lot of the people on the internet think it is. It's only racist if you use those differences to classify the spectrum of people for your own, wacked up ideas. Racism is an act of segregation of people in "higher" and "lower" races using cultural or genetic differences as an excuse and justification, and it's a sickness if you ask me. A mental disorder.

So, racism is not as simple as just prefering other skin-colored people. Racism is NOT prefering people due to their specific skin color or other physical/cultural traits. So, I agree it's just a preference, if it's not exclusion, as Mistermook stated already.
Test Subject
#332 Old 23rd Apr 2017 at 10:48 AM
It's not racist to have a preference, but it's racist to have strict rules and guidelines IMO because what it's basically implying is "I think all people of x race are ugly and I refuse to so much as give them a chance"
Inventor
#333 Old 24th Apr 2017 at 10:55 AM
Quote: Originally posted by spiralqq
It's not racist to have a preference, but it's racist to have strict rules and guidelines IMO because what it's basically implying is "I think all people of x race are ugly and I refuse to so much as give them a chance"


This!

Also there's a slight difference in having a quiet opinion or telling everyone you prefer people to look like this and that. I think you can miss out on some nice opportunities if you are openly close minded. As for me I have a thing for brown eyes, but I wouldn't write it on my dating profile, as I know there are a heck out of great guys with blue or green eyes out there. Then again, what we feel or think on the inside should be our own issues and no one elses...
Lab Assistant
#334 Old 24th Apr 2017 at 5:30 PM
That question doesn't really make sense. Racism IS a preference, the fact that most of us look down on it doesn't change that.

Refusing to date members of a certain race because of said race is, by definition, racism. Though if you ask me, whether that's a good thing or a bad thing is entirely subjective.
Test Subject
#335 Old 10th May 2017 at 7:52 AM
Quote: Originally posted by McChoclatey
I've heard so many people say, "I only date Black girls," or "I only date White girls." But would that be considered racist or a preference? Can skin color be a preference?

Skin color can be a preference, but the problem with saying, to use one of your examples, "I only date black girls" is it ignores that 1) dark skin isn't exclusive to that one race, and 2) black people can have light skin.

It would make more sense to say "I only date dark/light-skinned girls", which refers directly to skin color rather than race.

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Instructor
#336 Old 27th May 2017 at 5:08 AM
Quote: Originally posted by KayeStar
Skin color can be a preference, but the problem with saying, to use one of your examples, "I only date black girls" is it ignores that 1) dark skin isn't exclusive to that one race, and 2) black people can have light skin.

It would make more sense to say "I only date dark/light-skinned girls", which refers directly to skin color rather than race.


It's always a preference. Even if you explicitly say, "I only date Asians," it's still a preference.
Instructor
#337 Old 30th May 2017 at 12:46 AM
Once upon a time, I dated somebody that wasn't my own race. He's black, I'm white.
Surprise: It wasn't any different from my other relationships with white guys.

Going off of my own experiences, I think it's perfectly fine to have preferences as long as you keep an open mind (which, some people don't. And that's sad, because otherwise, you might miss out on some rewarding and loving opportunities).
Just because someone gravitates towards X race of people in terms of dating/copulating/etc. doesn't mean they have a prejudice against other races. That would be like me saying "Yeah I only date purple guys because I hate green guys," versus "I only date purple guys because I'm not attracted to green ones." Just because I'm more likely to have a white partner doesn't make me a racist.
There's a line that exists between racism and attraction preference. Which, I know that it was just said that "racism is a preference," and that's true. Racism is a preference that exists to hate, whereas having a preference to date someone based on physical attraction is something different entirely.
Lab Assistant
#339 Old 17th Sep 2017 at 6:23 AM
I don't think it's any different from not wanting to date someone with a certain hair color or body type. That said, when it comes to dating, aesthetics only really matter in the short-term.
Lab Assistant
#340 Old 5th Jan 2018 at 10:31 PM
I don't really think it's racist, so long as it's purely a preference based on skin color/appearance rather than the ethnicity itself. Some people may just not be attracted to the way certain people look, and honestly, it's a purely biological thing. People generally tend to find their own race more attractive. It doesn't make you racist.
Field Researcher
#341 Old 8th Feb 2018 at 11:13 PM
Quote: Originally posted by lilyjosephine
Some people may just not be attracted to the way certain people look, and honestly, it's a purely biological thing. People generally tend to find their own race more attractive. It doesn't make you racist.


Being attracted to people who look like you is sociologically enforced. If you are purple skinned and raised by green skinned people, you will probably gravitate towards green skin. It has nothing to do with biological imperative.
Test Subject
#342 Old 14th Mar 2018 at 10:51 AM
The argument that one can "change what they're attracted to" is scarily similar to the arguments of "gay conversion therapists" who said gayness was a condition, not an orientation, and with "training", a gay person can become straight. Obviously, we know this cannot be done.

I mean, what am I supposed to do? Sleep with someone I don't want to for the sake of "social progress"? In the past few years it seems the concept of bodily agency has fallen away, and guilt is used freely to shame people who date this race, or that race. As a white girl who actually DOES tend to date PoC men, I actually get told I'm racist regardless. So if I don't date PoC men, I'm racist. If I do, I'm "fetishising", and therefore racist. The narrative is set up for one to fail from the start.
Scholar
#343 Old 19th Apr 2018 at 6:46 PM
no it's not it's preference racism is "prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior."

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Lab Assistant
#344 Old 17th Oct 2018 at 9:04 PM Last edited by ShadowMT13 : 17th Oct 2018 at 10:08 PM.
Yes and no, everyone has a preference of what type of looks they are attracted to. Though I do feel humans should not look at how each other looks so often when choosing a "mate" and should worry more about personality. I always say you could hook up with the sexiest girl in the world yet she would be a terrible person, when there is a not as physically appealing person out there for you that may not be model material, but has an amazing personality. It is lust when you go after someone for their looks, it is love when you go after someone for their personality or at least that is my opinion.
Scholar
#345 Old 19th Oct 2018 at 3:57 PM
It could be racism or it could be just a preference. It could be either or both. But the thing is it doesn't matter in this case because who you choose to date is your choice. Whether the choice is because of preference or racism it doesn't matter. If someone calls you a racist because you exclusively date white ,brown, black then that someone is in the wrong here. This also goes to people who only date tall people, or their own religion or no religion or their own political inclination. That's all ok because it's your choice who you choose to date.

Now with that being said please don't reject someone by telling them it's cause they don't meet your preference. Don't say I won't date you cause you're fat or brown or short or whatever. That just makes you a jerk tbh. Just say you don't feel that way and move on. There's also people on dating sites who have things like no fatties, no backs and stuff like that on their profile which is also uncool and sleezy thing to do imo.

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Instructor
#346 Old 23rd Oct 2018 at 2:44 PM
Quote: Originally posted by PuddingFace
Now with that being said please don't reject someone by telling them it's cause they don't meet your preference. Don't say I won't date you cause you're fat or brown or short or whatever. That just makes you a jerk tbh. Just say you don't feel that way and move on. There's also people on dating sites who have things like no fatties, no backs and stuff like that on their profile which is also uncool and sleezy thing to do imo.


I'd prefer to actually be told if someone doesn't like me because of my body than be left guessing. It's a lot less disheartening to think "they don't find me attractive" than "I'm unlikeable."
Lab Assistant
#347 Old 19th Nov 2018 at 2:01 PM
Default What would that be considered a racist or a personal preference?
Quote: Originally posted by McChoclatey
I've heard so many people say, "I only date Black girls," or "I only date White girls." But would that be considered racist or a preference? Can skin color be a preference?


Foremost, you would need to understand what the definition of "preference" and "racist" is.

Preference
pref·er·ence
/ˈpref(ə)rəns/
noun

1. a greater liking for one alternative over another or others.
"a preference for long walks and tennis over jogging"
synonyms: liking, partiality, predilection, proclivity, fondness, taste, inclination, leaning, bias, bent, penchant, predisposition


2. a prior right or precedence, especially in connection with the payment of debts.
"debts owed to the community should be accorded a preference"

By definition, preference is defined as expressing a liking or fondness towards something.

Racist
rac·ist
/ˈrāsəst /
noun: racist; plural noun: racists

1. a person who shows or feels discrimination or prejudice against people of other races, or who believes that a particular race is superior to another.
"the comments have led to her being called a racist"

synonyms: racial bigot, racialist, xenophobe, chauvinist, supremacist etc...
noun: racist; plural noun: racists; adjective: racist


2. showing or feeling discrimination or prejudice against people of other races, or believing that a particular race is superior to another.
"we are investigating complaints about racist abuse at the club"

By definition, a racist shows or feels their race (group) of people is superior to another group of people.

---

Why is it that racism exist?
Where do the origins of these things come from?
How is it possible for these things to develop and thrive as action brought forth in this exist?

Feel free to reply.
Test Subject
#348 Old 31st Jan 2019 at 1:30 AM
I am sorry if any of you will jump me for my views on this topic.... But i do have to say something. If a person does not wish to date anyone based on their skin hue. Then it is their choice. This does not mean that they are racist, this only means that they are only attracted towards a certain preference in a person who they are willing to date. With so many people in the media of the late using the "Race Card" over anything that just might cause the rating to rise. Hence a bigger bonus in the reporter's pocket. You have to step back and see what you have learned in the last 20's years. Since the Woman's Lib Movement that opened the eyes of the American's and the World's eyes about Sexual Harassment in the work place. Oh but the kids of 2000's thinks this is their star attraction in the media highlights. Sorry to say this, not only women get sexually harassed at work. The men who get uncomfortable about their female bosses "Asking" for favors to keep their job.... Do we ever hear about them? No..... I would hardly think we would ever. For every woman that gets sexual harassed a man does also.

You will never think this but here is something to think on.

I married a white man, I only dated white males. But if you want to say I am racist? Then you are claiming that the African, Oriental, Latino, Native American, East Indian and Caucasian are a different species. I thought we were all the same race... Human?
Forum Resident
#349 Old 7th Jun 2019 at 11:55 PM
Old thread, but still have something to say. I think it's silly to say you should date someone you are not attracted to, simply because you don't want to be called a racist. If you don't find whites, blacks, orientals, latinos, etc. attractive, don't date them and don't worry about being called a racist. I (a white woman) personally find men with black hair, dark eyes, light skin, and chest hair attractive. If I met a blonde and he was a great guy and I was attracted to him, I would date him. I just haven't found one. That is absolutely no offense against blondes. There are several good looking blonde men that I'm sure have no problem at all getting women to date them. Just not me. I can look at them and say 'that's a handsome looking blonde man' without being attracted to them. Same with skin color. My (white) daughter prefers middle eastern men. No particular reason other than she finds their darker skin tone and black hair more attractive than lighter skin men with light colored hair. I don't think that makes her racist. She's the sweetest person I have ever met (including my own son) and believes everyone is equal despite skin color, she just has a preference.

On a sadder note: I'm not a great fan of body builders, but my first husband was hugely muscular and I loved him and was attracted to him anyway. He was Russian with black hair, dark brown eyes, light skin tone, and chest hair - and my God did I love that man. When he died, I almost wanted to die. I have since remarried, but never loved anyone the way I loved him. Maybe I'm a silly romantic, but he was my one true love. It's been decades and I still love that man as much as I ever did and still cry when I think of him. If there is an afterlife (and I believe there is), he is the one I want to spend eternity with.

When I remarried, it was to a German guy with dark hair, hazel eyes, and chest hair. NO, I was not looking to replace my first husband (that's flat out impossible and I don't even want to try). That's just my type. I don't think we (as a society) should label someone as a 'racist' for having a preference of one skin tone, hair color, body type, or whatever else over another. We're all humans, yes? If I thought blacks, latinos, orientals, etc. as somehow less human or less superior to my race, then I would be a racist. Having a preference, though...no.
Mad Poster
#350 Old 8th Jun 2019 at 1:12 AM Last edited by simmer22 : 9th Jun 2019 at 3:41 AM.
Attraction/preference and racism are two completely different things. You can be attracted to various traits and looks in another person without being a racist. It's perfectly normal to be more attracted to someone with a similar skin type as youself, just like it's normal to be attracted to someone with other skin types, or other things like hair colors, eye color, height, body type, personality, etc.

I've so far not felt attraction to someone with dark skin, for various reasons. I have nothing against people of different origins than me, and it has absolutely nothing to do with feeling superior, it's just a preference. Most dark-skinned people I've come across simply haven't caught my eye in an attraction kind of way (and similar for a lot of lighter-skinned guys), but I'm not closed to the possibility. I'm often more attracted to personality than looks. I rarely fall for the hunky kind of guy you see on something like the Bachelorette, and instead I tend to fall for the guy with more average looks but with an interesting personality, preferably someone who shares some of my interests so we have something to talk about and do together.

I think it's a bit more instinct-driven who you fall for. Most people seem to steer toward someone with roughly the same looks or origins as themselves, maybe based around what's available in the area they're scanning for a potential mate. Others prefer something completely different from themselves. It's preference. Just like how some people like chocolate ice cream while others like vanilla (or any other flavor).
 
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