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Theme Catchup2018 - posted on 1st May 2018 at 1:50 PM
Replies: 10 (Who?), Viewed: 1293 times.
Test Subject
Original Poster
#1 Old 5th Feb 2018 at 3:50 AM
Default Ever have something silly bother your conscience?
I've had something rather ridiculous bothering my conscience lately, and I want to know, am I weird or is it normal for something petty like this to bother a person? I'm in my mid 20s, and a couple of years ago I was mean and road rageous towards a group of highschool kids (three girls and a boy) who were in my way walking home after school. They were spread across the road from end to end, the two girls on the left moved right (moving into my path instead of out of it), I thought that was stupid and I blew the horn at them. At the time I thought it was funny to watch them jump and give me a nasty look, and I saved the dashcam video with intentions of uploading it to YouTube, but I watched the video again a couple of weeks ago and even though I still think they were wrong, I thought about how happy they probably were to be out of school for the weekend until I did that and probably ruined their mood for the evening, I thought about their age and that they probably didn't mean to be in my way, and I just wish I'd have just asked them nicely to move instead of scaring them like that. I wish I knew who they were so I could tell them I'm sorry, but I don't, and I feel like anything I could do to find them and tell them I am sorry for scaring them like that would be seen as creepy since I'm older than they are.

They probably don't even remember it, but I feel bad about it. Am I beating up on myself too much about this? Any ideas on how to clear my conscience?
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Scholar
#2 Old 5th Feb 2018 at 4:18 AM
Only thing you sound like to me is a sweetheart to care that much. Not silly, but also not something you should beat yourself up about. We've all been startled by car horns before; I don't see why they'd even remember it let alone hold a grudge.

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Test Subject
Original Poster
#3 Old 5th Feb 2018 at 12:52 PM
Really? Because I thought about around Christmas time (the season of giving and caring, to celebrate God's gift of his Son to the world) posting a shot from the rather blurry video on the neighborhood Facebook group and offer each of them a $25 gift card saying that I'm sorry I was mean to them, I'm trying to promote positivity, and ask that they do something nice for someone they've been mean to or done wrong to (a pay it forward thing), but at the same time because of their age (two years ago, at least) I thought people might mistake me for a pervert or a creep or an obsessive freak if I did that.
Theorist
#4 Old 5th Feb 2018 at 1:38 PM
You're human. Everybody has days where they think back to something they did and realize they could have handled a situation differently. As a parent, I always think about how I could have handled things differently when my son was younger. Most of the stuff I think about he wouldn't remember, but I do have those days.

Trying to correct things I did when he was younger would be moot now, but I use those thoughts as a teaching tool. Instead of giving a off-the-cuff answer, as long as the situation isn't dire, I will tell him that I need time to think about whatever the problem is and that we'll discuss it later. This is a slippery slope as some people say that and never actually follow through which leads to more problems. Any nagging for a answer from him also doesn't bode well. I keep my word, he doesn't nag. I keep my 'thinking time' to a couple of hours unless everybody is really crabby and tired, in which case, we'll talk the following day. Trying to accomplish anything good when everybody is exhausted is a pointless battle where everybody loses.

You've learned and grown as a person since then. That is the best you can do in this case since you didn't know these people and cannot apologize.

There's no rest for the wicked
Electronic Arts- Can't spell steal without EA. ~ Mike Murphree~
Test Subject
Original Poster
#5 Old 5th Feb 2018 at 2:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gargoyle Cat
You're human. Everybody has days where they think back to something they did and realize they could have handled a situation differently. As a parent, I always think about how I could have handled things differently when my son was younger. Most of the stuff I think about he wouldn't remember, but I do have those days.

Trying to correct things I did when he was younger would be moot now, but I use those thoughts as a teaching tool. Instead of giving a off-the-cuff answer, as long as the situation isn't dire, I will tell him that I need time to think about whatever the problem is and that we'll discuss it later. This is a slippery slope as some people say that and never actually follow through which leads to more problems. Any nagging for a answer from him also doesn't bode well. I keep my word, he doesn't nag. I keep my 'thinking time' to a couple of hours unless everybody is really crabby and tired, in which case, we'll talk the following day. Trying to accomplish anything good when everybody is exhausted is a pointless battle where everybody loses.

You've learned and grown as a person since then. That is the best you can do in this case since you didn't know these people and cannot apologize.


Right. I guess a big part of it is me being me; for one thing, I'm a service employee (retail, food service, those kind of things) and the thing that gives me the most pride is being able to make people's day a better day, and for another thing I am a devout Christian (more so now than two years ago) and I believe in spreading God's love to everyone I encounter. Also, there are youngsters that age at my church, and I feel I should set a good example to them, not be cruel to them. It's less about them remembering the previous moment and more about bringing light to their current day, as I do to people everyday.

If we were talking about adults I wouldn't think twice about publicly posting I was sorry and wanted to do something nice for them and for someone who recognized them to let them know that, but considering their age (at least at the time this happened), there's two things I don't want to do: come across as a creep or flatter someone under 18 so much that she (or he) develops a crush (I wouldn't mind the latter side effect if one of the girls were over 18, but that's still not the point of this).
Scholar
#6 Old 6th Feb 2018 at 1:09 AM
From a biblical standpoint, you are showing obvious repentance and regret. Even if you didn't remember it today, our Lord understands how it is impossible for us to be 100% sinless in this world. It is inevitable even among the most spiritually close to God. The very fact you feel bad is more than enough. Give it to God, and try to move on.

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Alchemist
#7 Old 6th Feb 2018 at 5:08 PM
I had been in a Catholic family, which Catholicism can be best summed up as "If shit happened, I deserved it...", which guilt was a common tactic among Catholics. My grandmother would guilt her husband, her children, but not me and the rest of the grandchildren. It was weird. But then again, a culture of guilt is coming undone.

I personally am too loving to harm anybody who has not harmed me. I, however, spent 20 years in the Seattle area and was targeted because I hadn't any mean bones in my body and the Seattle peers were awful people.

"There are some obstacles that cannot be removed with a mere show of force."
-King of Atlantis, as portrayed by Leonard Nimoy, Atlantis: The Lost Empire
Test Subject
Original Poster
#8 Old 6th Feb 2018 at 6:07 PM
Interestingly, in an area not far from where this happened, there was a different group of high school kids completely blocking the road yesterday, and had I honked at them, I'd have been justified, but I didn't. I thought of the time I was talking about in this thread, and I just waited for a few seconds for them to move, and this one girl literally pulled this one boy out of my way so I could go around. She looked at me and I smiled and waved at her like I was thanking her, she smiled and paused for a second like she was surprised that I was being nice and waved back.

It wasn't the same kids, but there's something awesome about knowing that that girl, someone I don't know and probably never will, seemed like she was expecting me to be mad and instead I was nice to her. It feels like it was a moment of sharing God's love, and while it probably wasn't the highlight of her day, it probably added some light to her day and probably the others too. I don't know, maybe God reminded me of what happened before so I wouldn't be mean to them; had that moment not literally just been on my conscience, I probably would not have reacted like I did.

There's something awesome about being positive instead of negative.
Scholar
#9 Old 6th Feb 2018 at 9:43 PM
I agree; for some of us the smallest thing can make our day. The extra friendly delivery man or cashier, for example, will always boost mine. That's not to say it's easy, but it's certainly appreciated when we do go the extra mile.

My downloads archived at Wordpress.
My photo blog at Tumblr.
Test Subject
Original Poster
#10 Old 6th Feb 2018 at 11:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubblebeam
I agree; for some of us the smallest thing can make our day. The extra friendly delivery man or cashier, for example, will always boost mine. That's not to say it's easy, but it's certainly appreciated when we do go the extra mile.


I've been a delivery man and a cashier. Making every day a better day for someone is the best part of the service industry. The appreciation shows when I go places and people recognize me, or they give good surveys. One time when I worked at the hospital I was nominated for an award because of good feedback from a patient.

I could tell that girl knew I could have easily been mean and really appreciated that I was nice instead. I hope it made her day. I hope it gave a good testimony since I have church bumper stickers on my car now.
Lab Assistant
#11 Old 9th Feb 2018 at 9:25 AM
My grandmother died while I was getting ready to visit her. I wish I planned it sooner. I believe I will forever hate myself over it.
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