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MTS Movie Night - posted on 15th Jul 2017 at 7:21 PM
Replies: 3496 (Who?), Viewed: 125185 times.
Page 140 of 140
Alchemist
#3476 Old Yesterday at 2:32 PM
She was just asking questions. Questions are okay, right?

"Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for awhile."
Mad Poster
#3477 Old Yesterday at 2:35 PM
No, not when the questions assumes a specific answer and is said in a pitying tone. Note the awws and the but in the examples I gave. Those color the words. It's not genuine curiosity, it's trying to fit you in to a box that fits norm. As if it's somehow weird to not want relationships, or if they should feel sorry for you for missing out, and that ones life would be empty without children. It might not be how people mean to come across, but that doesn't change that it's what comes across.

I am happy to take questions if they are phrased in a non-judgemental interested way. Compare "aww, how come?" to "cool, what's that like?".

EDIT: Not saying I can speak for all Ace/non-children-wanting-people, but I know enough of them that are sick of it that I think it's safe to say that it would be appreciated if people put a little more thought in to their words.
EDIT2: Given the posts in another thread I feel I should clarify to JDacapo. I'm not saying you did wrong, just letting you know for the future in case it's something you'd be willing to keep in mind. I'm not on the spectrum, but it's taken me a lot of practice to learn how to speak to people about their relationships without offending them because it does not come naturally to me and I've appreciated when my friends let me know I made a misstep.

If you have questions on how to use SimPE or WW, you're welcome to PM me.
Theorist
#3478 Old Yesterday at 3:30 PM
I was just wondering, because otherwise the sim's place gets put up for sale and anyone who moves in has to deal with a pissed-off ghost they never knew about. And I thought at first the sim had negative attraction due to being experimented on like Nervous Subject or something like that. I didn't know you were both asexual and childfree - that and how people play their sims is none of my business. I just assumed Bulbasaur's sim had a really rough life and the disgust for both genders came from being someone's guinea pig.

My Sims 2 Blog - info and stories

Am I the only one who fogs up her glasses when eating Kung Pao noodles?
Mad Poster
#3479 Old Yesterday at 3:44 PM
If the player doesn't want the house to stand empty, the lone sim can always invite someone to move in as the age bar grows short. Heirs of the body aren't a necessity.

Ugly is in the heart of the beholder.
(My simblr isSim Media Res . Widespot,Widespot RFD: The Subhood, and Land Grant University are all available here. In case you care.)
Theorist
#3480 Old Yesterday at 3:57 PM
True. And of course there's the Newsons...

My Sims 2 Blog - info and stories

Am I the only one who fogs up her glasses when eating Kung Pao noodles?
#3481 Old Yesterday at 4:00 PM
My Sim's backstory is that she actually just showed up in Oakbrook with no memory of who she was. Although she does have a "run away" in her memory, so maybe that implies a few things.... Anyways, she's an aspiring roboticist, so she'll probably have a servo or two looking after the place.

I'm secretly a Bulbasaur.

My memory is poor, so please take anything I say with a grain of salt. | Looking for SimWardrobe's mods? | Or Dizzy's?
Theorist
#3482 Old Yesterday at 4:11 PM
I see... and I hope my words didn't offend you. I am pretty much a social bull in a china shop, and I have lost friends over my social clumsiness in the past.

My Sims 2 Blog - info and stories

Am I the only one who fogs up her glasses when eating Kung Pao noodles?
#3483 Old Yesterday at 4:16 PM
To be honest, I didn't even notice.

I'm secretly a Bulbasaur.

My memory is poor, so please take anything I say with a grain of salt. | Looking for SimWardrobe's mods? | Or Dizzy's?
Theorist
#3484 Old Yesterday at 5:21 PM
Ah ok. I'm far from asexual though... had a dream where Nervous Subject was snogging me. He had done the 'change appearance' interaction, it seems. And he looked quite cute!

My Sims 2 Blog - info and stories

Am I the only one who fogs up her glasses when eating Kung Pao noodles?
Alchemist
#3485 Old Yesterday at 5:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gummilutt
No, not when the questions assumes a specific answer and is said in a pitying tone. Note the awws and the but in the examples I gave. Those color the words. It's not genuine curiosity, it's trying to fit you in to a box that fits norm. As if it's somehow weird to not want relationships, or if they should feel sorry for you for missing out, and that ones life would be empty without children. It might not be how people mean to come across, but that doesn't change that it's what comes across.

I am happy to take questions if they are phrased in a non-judgemental interested way. Compare "aww, how come?" to "cool, what's that like?".

EDIT: Not saying I can speak for all Ace/non-children-wanting-people, but I know enough of them that are sick of it that I think it's safe to say that it would be appreciated if people put a little more thought in to their words.
EDIT2: Given the posts in another thread I feel I should clarify to JDacapo. I'm not saying you did wrong, just letting you know for the future in case it's something you'd be willing to keep in mind. I'm not on the spectrum, but it's taken me a lot of practice to learn how to speak to people about their relationships without offending them because it does not come naturally to me and I've appreciated when my friends let me know I made a misstep.


Questions are questions. I don't see anything wrong with them at all. The way she asked it was no, IMO, inappropriate because she was asking a question about a game that encompasses generational play. Therefore it is a logical question of how one intends to foster future generations.

In general, I wonder whether we have tendencies on forums like this to make assumptions based upon our own perceptions when someone is asking what, to them, is an innocent question or making an innocuous statement. I speak from experience on both ends of the communication.

As for me, I plan to always make the most innocent of assumptions when I read something. And again, I didn't see anything wrong with the question at all.

"Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for awhile."
Mad Poster
#3486 Old Yesterday at 6:15 PM
But you're not the person who gets this passive-aggressive assumption thrust at them constantly either, Smorbie. The person whose foot gets stepped on is the one who knows if it hurts.

Ugly is in the heart of the beholder.
(My simblr isSim Media Res . Widespot,Widespot RFD: The Subhood, and Land Grant University are all available here. In case you care.)
Field Researcher
#3487 Old Yesterday at 7:29 PM
Pets run towards fires, and Sims don't have the decency to get them to safety. Porthos was okay, so I can only hope that's because pets are fireproof and not just because he got lucky this time.
#3488 Old Yesterday at 7:32 PM
I'm pretty sure pets are fireproof. Some time back I was playing with a hack that lets the weather machine summon a huge firestorm and the only survivors were the toddler and the dog.

I'm secretly a Bulbasaur.

My memory is poor, so please take anything I say with a grain of salt. | Looking for SimWardrobe's mods? | Or Dizzy's?
Alchemist
#3489 Old Yesterday at 7:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peni Griffin
But you're not the person who gets this passive-aggressive assumption thrust at them constantly either, Smorbie. The person whose foot gets stepped on is the one who knows if it hurts.


True, and I wasn't alluding to me. Rather, I was acknowledging my own guilt in assuming the worst of others when they make comments or ask questions, and pledging to do better from now on.

I often wonder whether we are reaching a point where civil discourse is going to become almost impossible.

"Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for awhile."
Field Researcher
#3490 Old Yesterday at 7:57 PM
I discovered that dark magenta/purply siding makes an interesting look for a Greek House.
Theorist
#3491 Old Yesterday at 8:18 PM
Smorbie, you don't need to defend me. Some people don't like being asked certain questions, and there are a few things that piss me off severely as well that probably wouldn't piss off others. *shrug* No big deal.

My Sims 2 Blog - info and stories

Am I the only one who fogs up her glasses when eating Kung Pao noodles?
Mad Poster
#3492 Old Yesterday at 10:14 PM
In my humble opinion everyone is probably being asked questions that they don't like. It is part of life.

I have been asked for the past 12 years (since I became a widow) if I have met somebody else yet, if I have any wedding plans, is there anyone, etc. etc. (No to all). The past couple of years I am also asked almost daily if I am a grandmother yet. (I am not and not sure if I want to be one or if my kids have any such plans).

I have not made a self-Sim yet, though, but if I ever do, she is getting married to Skye Weiss in Widespot (Oh, I don't care about his asexual part. He has not met my self-Sim yet, and who is in charge anyway? )

Windows 10 and the Ultimate Collection
http://modthesims.info/showthread.php?t=568275
Alchemist
#3493 Old Yesterday at 11:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JDacapo
Smorbie, you don't need to defend me. Some people don't like being asked certain questions, and there are a few things that piss me off severely as well that probably wouldn't piss off others. *shrug* No big deal.


Sorry. I'm a long-time tilter of windmills as you can probably see.

"Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for awhile."
Theorist
#3494 Old Yesterday at 11:22 PM
I used to be a tilter of windmills. It got me into big trouble with some early Leafy/Keemstar types back in 2004.

My Sims 2 Blog - info and stories

Am I the only one who fogs up her glasses when eating Kung Pao noodles?
Mad Poster
#3495 Old Yesterday at 11:36 PM
I don't believe I was ever anything but civil, in this particular case.

If you have questions on how to use SimPE or WW, you're welcome to PM me.
Theorist
#3496 Old Today at 12:00 AM
You were very civil, which is why the recent derailing kinda surprised me.

My Sims 2 Blog - info and stories

Am I the only one who fogs up her glasses when eating Kung Pao noodles?
Scholar
#3497 Old Today at 12:20 AM
As someone who's also on the asexuality spectrum myself, I was pleasantly surprised to see the conversation evolve so politely.
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