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Alchemist
Original Poster
#1 Old 25th Dec 2009 at 7:06 PM
Default "the five languages of love"
i recently stumbled upon this book building upon the concept of there being five languages of love . the author is Gary Chapman, and ive never read anything by him before, but i may consider giving this a go. the way humans interpret/convey things, interests me.
it struck me as unique, so i thought i might pitch the question to you people, if youd like to answer it.

which do you think best* fits you?



Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.


Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.


Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.


Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.


Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.



i ask that you try your best to pick ONE that you identify with, and maybe include why? >u> curiosity nags me to ask.

personally i identify most with quality time. as to why...well, words of affirmation, to me, can come off as desperate, which is a put-off, receiving gifts makes me feel guilty ( like i owe them something in return ) or like theyre trying to buy my affections, acts of service arent that important--i can do most things on my own, and im not a touchyfeely person, so physical touch holds very little appeal to me. id say about as touchy as i get is holding hands or accepting kisses. not so good at reciprocating it...but i guess you could say that im working on fixing that. xD
when i spend quality time with someone i feel like theyre really paying attention, and what i say/do seems to sink in better. its also just more comfortable than everything else on the list, lol.

*best, as in, i KNOW there isnt such a thing as a 100% complete match. try your best.

"The more you know, the sadder you get."~ Stephen Colbert
"I'm not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance." ~ Jon Stewart
Versigtig, ek's nog steeds fokken giftig
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Scholar
#2 Old 25th Dec 2009 at 8:32 PM
1. Physical Touch
2. Quality Time
3. Acts of Service
4. Receiving Gifts
5. Words of Affirmation

Most important to least important lol
Test Subject
#3 Old 26th Dec 2009 at 1:12 AM
Mine would definitely be quality time. I enjoy all of the others for sure, but to me, just being with someone i'm close to means the world to me. Getting to just sitting down to dinner and talking with people i love totally fills up my love meter. Standing me up for a date is one of the quickest ways to hurt me.

My boyfriend would undoubtedly be in the physical touch category though, which makes the relationship strained at times. While i so do not mind the sex aspect, i get frustrated when that seems to be the only thing we ever do together, and he's told me that whenever i back away from his advances it makes him feel as though i'm mad at him or he's done something wrong. Personally, i love going to Barnes & Noble and sitting on his lap with my chai and a book just as much as sex. Most of the time he can't wait to get back home though.

Being able to see how your partner gives/recieves love is pretty vital to a healthy and lasting relationship though. It (helps) prevent misunderstandings.

Oh the joys of working out love ;].

Hell is other people ~ Sartre
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