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Scholar
#76 Old 24th Oct 2011 at 7:13 AM
You know what I realized, it's racist for anyone to think everyone of a certian race is the same race has the same skin color.

Disclaimer: I am just being a goof ball, please ignore me if offended.
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Field Researcher
#77 Old 24th Oct 2011 at 3:34 PM
Quote: Originally posted by Weisskreuz
Sure, but I can tell you if you preference is racist.

You don't seem to understand how much affect society has in how humans view things. It's so very hard to go against what you've learned from a very young age. No matter how hard you try YOU WILL fall back onto those teachings in certain situations.



I know a girl that identifies as black (as do both of her parents), she has curly light blond hair and green eyes, and medium brown skin. A guy that she liked, had expressed his preference for blonde hair but rejected her because she was a black woman. There are many more factors that go into preference other than just one.
It's not just "Hey, I like brown hair, I'm attracted to all brown-haired people EVAR!!! and that's the only thing that goes into my preference." It does not work that way. Some one might like "curves" but dislike large noses, dark skin, and kinky hair. Now, that's racist.

I don't believe preferences are set in stone. So, kind of iffy on this one.


That's not racist. If he's not attracted to it, he's not. Did he act racist to her? If he did, that's another story that goes beyond dating, which isn't really part of the topic. No one is attractive to everyone, and it can be for a number of reasons. How was it racist because he didn't want to date a black woman? People will always find people they are attracted to and find no solice in. It's not racist, hateful, or anything else-It's what they're attracted to.

After a certain time, I think people find their preferences and they become semi-locked. I keep an open mind when it comes to race, as I've dated out of my race before. However, I don't feel attraction or any interest to date any weight extremes-I don't like skeletons nor do I like larger women in a dating sense. Does that mean I'm a jerk who doen't date someone because of their physical traits? No it doesn't, I just don't feel attraction to them. I still treat them as equal human beings. Though personality goes far for me, I dislike thoses traits because I don't feel comfortable with it. If someone doesn't feel comfortable in a relationship, it's not fair on them to be forced into it by society, they'd be seen as a bigot, weight extremeist, or whatever you may come up with.

It's not fair in the least sense someone is labeled something because he doesn't feel attraction or any interest to date a certain race. As long as he treats them as equal people, there is no harm in my own opinion.

As for the organized and prearranged marriages, I can't really give a counterpoint because those societies have vast differences compared to the ones I am familiar with. As much as I know, they're not really fair in that sense legally and what not. So I guess there is much more going on there.
Instructor
#78 Old 24th Oct 2011 at 5:05 PM
I think its prejudiced to dismiss an entire race as undateable when you haven't met every member of said race. Unless ethnicity alone is an issue for you, then you would indeed be prejudiced.

I'm ok with people saying: "I've never met someone of x race I was attracted to yet," because you may have only met 1 or 2. " But I think its a bit silly to dismiss an entire race as the same when there really is a lot of diversity out there.

I'm also a bit surprised that people find skin color such a deterrant. Are people really saying if they found their soul mate and he/she was black/chinese/asian/white they would say no? Really? Seems a bit odd to let pigment slow you down.
Scholar
#79 Old 24th Oct 2011 at 5:48 PM
I don't really believe in "soul mates", as I think that any sort of relationship requires work and that a person can come to love more than just one person in his/her lifetime. I think that physical attraction is important to getting people to open up to the idea that they might be compatible with a particular person. So, yes, if a person had a personality that was compatible with someone who had features they didn't find attractive, I think that a lot of people would overlook that person as a potential mate. Think of it in slightly more extreme terms: let's say you are a straight woman. You meet another woman who has all of the personality traits that you want in a partner, but it never even occurs to you to think of her that way. You just don't consider women as dating material, so your first thought on meeting this person is "let's be friends", not "let's hook up". It might never occur to you that this person would be a good intellectual match for you because you just don't think of her that way.

I think this is something like what happens when people meet those that they might be compatible with, but don't find attractive. They look first to the person as a friend, and may not think of that person as anything more, and may not be happy with being anything more. Sometimes people might be able to eventually look past the physical aspects that they don't find attractive, or to find something attractive about the person, but it isn't going to happen in every case, to everyone. I would also point out that there are some physical traits that do have an impact on the more physical side of a relationship, though skin color is trivial in this regard, so it would be somewhat off-topic to continue in that vein.
Instructor
#80 Old 24th Oct 2011 at 6:38 PM
hmm, not sure i would go so far as to equate skin tone with sexual orientation. Whether you believe in soul mates or not, the point really is, would a person you find otherwise extremely compatible and of the appropriate gender for your preference, would you turn them down solely because of the pigmentation in their skin? Is that criteria really such a deal breaker?
Scholar
#81 Old 24th Oct 2011 at 7:13 PM
I did say it was a more extreme case. But, yes, for some people, skin pigment plays a major role in attraction. I think that some of the people who find skin pigment important are capable of looking past it if they find someone they are compatible with, while others aren't. It probably depends on how set that person in in his/her idea of beauty. I don't think it's necessarily a good thing to close yourself off to certain ideas of beauty, but it's unavoidable in some cases. Most people aren't able to consciously change what they find attractive.
Instructor
#82 Old 25th Oct 2011 at 3:46 PM
Tastes and what is attractive to a person can change over time as a person matures, and this is purely a result of exposure and people changing their mindset as they grow. There also may be a concious element of ditching old prejudices which may be involved if a person finds their own selection too narrow. It also can go the other direction- people's criteria on what is attractive can narrow.

Skin pigmentation can run the gamut across the races. I am curious if those who wouldn't date a person with black skin, would date a black person with light skin? Some blacks do have light skin. My neighbor for instance is albino and African American and her skin is lighter than mine.
Field Researcher
#83 Old 30th Oct 2011 at 5:59 AM
Interesting question. Not a simple answer, either.

In some cases, I think it is probably as simple as a personal preference. What features people find attractive can vary a lot. Some have a set "type" that they prefer. My oldest likes guys with dark hair, "cuddly" build, and brooding/moody personalities. Personally, I (according to people that know me) apparently have a fondness for "scoundrels". So, with some, it's surely nothing but a preference.

In other cases, there could, in fact, be some racial issue involved. That is more complicated. The person could be racist. That, sadly, still happens, and it isn't just one group that has all the racists, either. Or, the person could believe that, because of the various racial issues, that dating someone of a different race would cause problems, and they might want to avoid those, and so avoid dating people of another race. These days, that isn't always as big an issue as it used to be, but it can still be a problem in some areas/cultures/etc.

Then, I suspect there is another group; people that specifically seek only someone of another race, for some societal reason. Like, they might want people to think they are more open, so seek to demonstrate this in their dating. Sort of a statement. Or, they might think the culture of the other race is more interesting, and thus seek out that race to date.

If someone said they only dated "whoever", I would probably ask their reasons.
Field Researcher
#84 Old 30th Oct 2011 at 6:28 AM
Quote: Originally posted by Robodl95
Let's remind ourselves that Asians, Arabs and Caucasians are all white. I would also count some Latin Americans and Indians in this but I'm not sure where they lie officially. What about albino black people? When someone says "I only date white people" most of the time they really mean originated from Europe or someone who looks and acts like they do (no afros, muslim scarfs, etc.)


Well, scientifically-speaking, there are only four races. Caucasoid, Negroid, Mongoloid, and Aboriginal. Caucasoid being what people consider "white", but this also includes Mediterannean and Latin people. Negroid being "black". Mongoloid is Asian, and this includes the American Indians, as they initially migrated over the Bering Strait. Aboriginal is, I believe, now seen as distinctive from the others. According to the latest genetic studies (and wow, has this changed a LOT over the years), Neanderthals are once again considered another race, though (mostly) gone, with only traces showing up in people today.

I think your point is that many base such choices on cultural issues as much as actual race, and that can be very true. A case of being attracted to what you are used to, perhaps. Some like what is familiar, though others seem to like what is different, and, to them, exotic. Complicated things, people. :D
Field Researcher
#85 Old 30th Oct 2011 at 6:34 AM
Quote: Originally posted by CmarNYC
*snip*
And it's not really comparable to prefering blondes or brunettes or redheads because there's no history of organized and pervasive prejudice or negative stereotypes against any particular hair color. (There are stereotypes but not on the same level in most societies.)


Sure there is - ask any blonde!
Field Researcher
#86 Old 30th Oct 2011 at 6:42 AM
Quote: Originally posted by Extensa5420
If that is the case, then my instructor's presentation is either biased or outdated or not in depth.


I think it would be a case of confusion over the terms, and not entirely the fault of the instructor, either. Assimilation and integration are what works for the United States, but lately, multiculturalism is being pushed, and pushed HARD, and this, in fact, causes division instead of unity. A lot of people don't understand that multiculturalism isn't the same thing the country has done since the beginning, so I can understand the instructor getting the issue a bit confused. More accurate to state that the United States has more different racial diversity than many countries.
Forum Resident
#87 Old 30th Oct 2011 at 6:59 AM


Quadruple posting is in bad form. If you want to quote multiple people, open the thread in another tab and copy what you want to quote to your reply.
Mad Poster
#88 Old 30th Oct 2011 at 7:13 AM
I for one do NOT understand how you can be attracted to someone solely based on their skin-tone. That is like me thinking a black guy is attractive but turning him down just because he's black. It's a different thing if it just so HAPPENS that you're only attracted to people within your race, but when you go out of your way to not date someone solely because of their skin-tone, that is definitely an indication of racism, my dear.

"Going to the chapel of Love"

the girls club . statistics . yearbook .
Lab Assistant
#89 Old 1st Nov 2011 at 12:44 AM
I'm kind of in between.

I can see how you couldn't be attracted to certain races because a particular race has specific physical attributes that may be unttractive, but then, who cares about the looks?

You could meet one hell of a guy/gal if you got passed all that mess....
Sim Princess in Pink
#90 Old 1st Nov 2011 at 1:04 AM
I think it depends on the situation and personal preference, if you don't find someone attractive because they are too light or too dark then I wouldn't call that racism. I know plenty of white people who don't find fellow white people attractive and have pretty much always dated blacks, but it doesn't make them racist to their own skin colour, it's just their personal taste.

Having said that, if you don't want to date someone because of their race and you look down on them for the colour of their skin then that in my eyes is racist.

Please, Call Me Lou :D
Mad Poster
#91 Old 1st Nov 2011 at 6:02 AM
Quote: Originally posted by Lawli-Lawli
I'm kind of in between.

I can see how you couldn't be attracted to certain races because a particular race has specific physical attributes that may be unttractive, but then, who cares about the looks?

You could meet one hell of a guy/gal if you got passed all that mess....


A particular race has specific physical attributes? Please elaborate on this assumption, without a through explanation you come off as slightly ignorant.

"Going to the chapel of Love"

the girls club . statistics . yearbook .
Field Researcher
#92 Old 1st Nov 2011 at 8:14 AM
Quote: Originally posted by Dreamydre
A particular race has specific physical attributes? Please elaborate on this assumption, without a through explanation you come off as slightly ignorant.

A particular race doesn't have specific physical attributes? Please elaborate on this assumption; without a through explanation you come off as slightly ignorant.

How do you think people differentiate between races?

One S, two As.
Theorist
#93 Old 1st Nov 2011 at 8:59 AM
Monkeys are hairy. Humans are less so.

Please everyone: Do not attempt to seduce the monkeys. They are not the same race as humans/throw poo.
Test Subject
#94 Old 1st Nov 2011 at 11:14 AM
Would it be considered racist if an African American man only wished to date white women? Would that make him racist to his own skin color?

I think not. It's a preference.
Instructor
#95 Old 1st Nov 2011 at 12:43 PM
There's a difference between saying,

"I don't date X race because I don't find them physically attractive"
"I don't date X race because I believe they are immoral/intellectually inferior/etc."

While the first one is on the shallow side, I wouldn't call it racist.
Instructor
#96 Old 1st Nov 2011 at 4:22 PM
We are talking about skin color, not race, and the two arent' mutually exclusive. Afterall, Indians from India are considered Caucasoid and they can have very dark skin.

To me, deciding only one race is undatable is prejudiced. You are dismissing an entire race of millions as undatable sight unseen. Depending on why you consider them undatable then it could be racist as well.
Forum Resident
#97 Old 1st Nov 2011 at 7:57 PM
Quote: Originally posted by sim3playa22444
Would it be considered racist if an African American man only wished to date white women? Would that make him racist to his own skin color?

I think not. It's a preference.


That's actually a big controversial topic within the AA community. It goes a lot deeper than just "preferences". Believe me...you do not want to open up that can of worms
Lab Assistant
#98 Old 2nd Nov 2011 at 12:22 AM
Quote: Originally posted by Dreamydre
A particular race has specific physical attributes? Please elaborate on this assumption, without a through explanation you come off as slightly ignorant.


Thanks.

Quote: Originally posted by unalisaa
A particular race doesn't have specific physical attributes? Please elaborate on this assumption; without a through explanation you come off as slightly ignorant.

How do you think people differentiate between races?


He beat me.
Field Researcher
#99 Old 3rd Nov 2011 at 7:10 AM
Quote: Originally posted by Lawli-Lawli
He beat me.

Glad to have been of-
Quote: Originally posted by Lawli-Lawli
He

Oi!

One S, two As.
Mad Poster
#100 Old 6th Nov 2011 at 2:21 AM Last edited by Dreamydre : 6th Nov 2011 at 3:25 AM.
Quote: Originally posted by SimsLover50
To me, deciding only one race is undatable is prejudiced. You are dismissing an entire race of millions as undatable sight unseen. Depending on why you consider them undatable then it could be racist as well.


Exactly!

"You're cute, but I'm sorry, I can't date you because I don't date people with your skin tone"

"Apology accepted. I don't date racists anyway."

Quote: Originally posted by unalisaa
A particular race doesn't have specific physical attributes? Please elaborate on this assumption; without a through explanation you come off as slightly ignorant.

How do you think people differentiate between races?


What I am saying is that you can't automatically base certain features on certain races. People of any race can have a variety of facial features outside of their races "specific physical attributes". The certain physcial features that all non-deformed people have are two eyes, two ears, one heart, two lungs, two kidneys, one liver, one large intestine, one small intestine, one pancreas, one mouth, two nostrils, two arms, two breasts (yes, men too), and two legs.

Quote: Originally posted by Lawli-Lawli
Thanks.


You're welcome, glad I could help

"Going to the chapel of Love"

the girls club . statistics . yearbook .
 
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