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Community Spirit contest! - posted on 11th Apr 2017 at 6:33 PM
Replies: 874 (Who?), Viewed: 43580 times.
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Top Secret Researcher
#851 Old 7th Apr 2017 at 3:04 AM
I don't seem to have the courage to actually speak up and say something, but I just finished writing a letter I plan on giving my mom the next time I see her. Someone I've been talking with a lot lately really pushed me to try and say something, and has been doing that a lot lately, so I finally decided that if I can't say it with my voice I would write it out. Luckily the person that has been trying to motivate me came along not long after I typed out my previous message here, and really gave me the confidence to at least write something out. My mom is asleep now, but I plan on personally handing the letter to her as soon as I can tomorrow. Hopefully this will finally be the beginning of the end for this nightmare.

Every part of me wants to believe there's a darkness we need to feel for the brightest light to be seen and felt inside.
Mad Poster
#852 Old 7th Apr 2017 at 6:48 AM
Good for you, haywud! That took guts. That's the kind of courage you're going to need to get through this.
Test Subject
#853 Old 7th Apr 2017 at 6:55 AM
I feel like again all the emotional abuse I received is racking up, and not in a good way. that's how I've been the past few days.

My first signature. Testing this until I figure out to get better with signatures.
Theorist
#854 Old 7th Apr 2017 at 9:55 PM
Better today.

As far as politics, I am convinced the whole "anybody can be President" concept ran amok, but 1st Amendment rights have been protected and my mother was asleep most of today, so arguments were a minimum.

I went for a walk, along the Main Street in my town. Twice. Even kicked the base of the same electrical pole when I stopped to turn around to walk back at town hall. It's a normal routine for me to walk, but I will walk as long as the sky isn't violently striking lightning.

My in-law uncle Chip (he married my dad's sister) came to pick up the remainder of his and aunt Lucinda's junk from the basement. He may have a time packing the truck.

Avatar: Jingjing the Black Ring Panda from Beijing 2008 Olympics.

"In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that, as far as we know, is hanging in space over Lake Michigan."
Ralphie as an adult, A Christmas Story
Top Secret Researcher
#855 Old 8th Apr 2017 at 12:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VerDeTerre
Good for you, haywud! That took guts. That's the kind of courage you're going to need to get through this.
Thanks. Unfortunately it didn't make me feel any better giving it to her though, it made me feel worse to be honest. Her response was basically telling me that I needed to do it on my own (which is what I was afraid would happen) and is what I've been failing at doing for so long now. I feel that my situation is the reason for my depression and unless I can change that I don't see myself getting over this, but I can't do it on my own and I don't seem to have the help I can really use.

Every part of me wants to believe there's a darkness we need to feel for the brightest light to be seen and felt inside.
Scholar
#856 Old 8th Apr 2017 at 4:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by haywud
Thanks. Unfortunately it didn't make me feel any better giving it to her though, it made me feel worse to be honest. Her response was basically telling me that I needed to do it on my own (which is what I was afraid would happen) and is what I've been failing at doing for so long now. I feel that my situation is the reason for my depression and unless I can change that I don't see myself getting over this, but I can't do it on my own and I don't seem to have the help I can really use.


Your mom can't just expect you to create something from nothing. Everything requires money these days. She should know that. Is it possible she doesn't want to let you go?

My downloads archived at Wordpress.
My photo blog at Tumblr.
Mad Poster
#857 Old 8th Apr 2017 at 4:24 PM
Haywud, what is it exactly that your mom expects you to do on your own? I'm confused. I got the impression that you needed therapy. Is there something else?
Alchemist
Original Poster
#858 Old 8th Apr 2017 at 8:56 PM
Ever get really high then have minor headache after it ends and be really dehydrated, hot, and feeling fat? That's where I am at now.

View my (WIP) Pinterest boards to find TS2 CC that fits Mediterranean, Middle East, and North African 'hoods of all Eras:
Cars | Historical | Misc | Build | Buy


ModtheHarVees™ ☥
Top Secret Researcher
#859 Old 8th Apr 2017 at 9:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubblebeam
Your mom can't just expect you to create something from nothing. Everything requires money these days. She should know that. Is it possible she doesn't want to let you go?

I'm really not sure what the case is, I wish I knew.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VerDeTerre
Haywud, what is it exactly that your mom expects you to do on your own? I'm confused. I got the impression that you needed therapy. Is there something else?

Basically everything. From the way she talked it doesn't seem like she's willing to do anything to help. Her "advice" to me was pretty much telling me to go do what I need on my own. She seemed to completely ignore the fact that I mentioned wanting to kill myself. All I could do was sit there and cry when trying to talk to her because it was as if she didn't care. People used to tell me that she probably just didn't understand what I was going through, but she does now and it still didn't seem to make a difference. I feel so empty inside, I just feel completely lost.

Every part of me wants to believe there's a darkness we need to feel for the brightest light to be seen and felt inside.
Mad Poster
#860 Old 8th Apr 2017 at 9:59 PM
Something I've noticed about people who have problems is that their parents often have problems, too. I know this hurts. Try to see her as someone who doesn't have a clue or is who incapable of understanding as opposed to someone who doesn't care. Sounds like she won't be a resource for you unless you can educate her.

It's crazy because no one gets anywhere without any help.
Scholar
#861 Old 9th Apr 2017 at 12:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VerDeTerre
Something I've noticed about people who have problems is that their parents often have problems, too. I know this hurts. Try to see her as someone who doesn't have a clue or is who incapable of understanding as opposed to someone who doesn't care. Sounds like she won't be a resource for you unless you can educate her.

It's crazy because no one gets anywhere without any help.


In addition to that, some parents don't seem to comprehend how much harder it is to get started as an independent adult these days. They remember the days when they just walked up the street, shook someones hand for a job and off they went. There's a lot more red tape around everything now.

My downloads archived at Wordpress.
My photo blog at Tumblr.
Mad Poster
#862 Old 9th Apr 2017 at 10:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubblebeam
In addition to that, some parents don't seem to comprehend how much harder it is to get started as an independent adult these days. They remember the days when they just walked up the street, shook someones hand for a job and off they went. There's a lot more red tape around everything now.


It's exactly what my Dad's like.
Before I got mh first job, all he would say to me was have you found a job yet; What jobs have you applied for and even when I got my first job and was working 50 hours on casual wages, he was like dont forget to look for a full-time job.
He's the only person I haven't told that they made me full-time, and he wonders why I don't talk to him at all

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Steam ID: PadukSteam
Top Secret Researcher
#863 Old 9th Apr 2017 at 3:00 PM Last edited by haywud : 9th Apr 2017 at 9:13 PM.
@Sterling_Archer

I don't like to talk to my dad either, there's just no point to it anymore. First of all, all he ever talks about is himself and doesn't seem to care about anyone else around him because he's a very selfish person. Until he had no choice but to do it he would never properly support us, my grandmother had to take care of basically everything that we needed. He lies, good lord does he lie. I was always afraid to speak up about my problems to him because I knew anything he said would never happen. I ended up breaking down in front of him a few months ago so obviously he saw something was wrong. He said we could do all of these nice things to try and get my mind off of it. Yeah we'll go here, go there, do this, do that.... not a damn thing happened I just ended up sitting alone in my room as always. Oh but he did take time off from work, for himself. He also had the chance to get a car that someone he works with was apparently just giving away because they wanted to get rid of it, my dad said he would take it for me so I had transportation.... nothing happened again.

It's been this way for as long as I can remember. All he ever does is what he wants to do and what benefits him. I avoid him as much as I can because I'm just tired of it all.

no reason to make a new post, so i'll just edit this one. anyway, i just feel completely empty right now. it's like someone reached in and pulled out my soul, i feel almost hollow. i'm trying so hard not to cry, but i cant stop it. i don't think i've ever cried so hard in my life. i'm so lost, i can't seem to beat this. i wish i had someone around me that actually seemed to care, i really need some sort of support right now. i really need help

Every part of me wants to believe there's a darkness we need to feel for the brightest light to be seen and felt inside.
Theorist
#864 Old 9th Apr 2017 at 10:55 PM
Gassy and shocked...

My mother was floored by my checklist of dolls I don't have. It's a long story, but my mother and father are under the vampire rule: You may only enter my room if you have the permission. She called it "a hairbrained scheme" and me and Dad looked at her for the fact she forgot my father's family is full of hairbrained schemers.

I get anxious and I need to get my medicine refilled. I'm out of one of my sedatives. That's my sad story: I am on 3 sedatives and I have been internalizing my stress. I worry this won't end well if it continues.

Avatar: Jingjing the Black Ring Panda from Beijing 2008 Olympics.

"In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that, as far as we know, is hanging in space over Lake Michigan."
Ralphie as an adult, A Christmas Story
Forum Resident
#865 Old 11th Apr 2017 at 3:22 AM
@PANDAQUEEN I hope you have luck getting the sedatives. I feel so bad for you...

Good news: I'm getting a gaming PC soon. Maybe I can play TS3 with decent framerates, better graphics, and less lag without sacrificing my messload of CC.

Bad news: Since my family is moving I need to wait until we have moved to buy PC so we don't have to lug it along with the rest of our stuff, and so I know how much desk space I have (this will affect case and monitor choices). Given that everything is so up in the air and we are moving in later than I predicted, the wait is truly agonizing. Especially since I am trying to hold off from simming until I get gaming PC so I can play the best parts of my sims' lives on a computer that can actually handle them doing things like going to college and travelling the world.

The struggle is real.

Neopets, Subeta, and Tomodachi Life can only subside me so much ;'(

Also, I have opened my eyes briefly from the deep slumber of hiatus before I hear the calls of finals season that lull my account back into the sleep of inactivity. AKA life interfering with simming.

~Someday my prince will come... And he better not bring all his hood's character files with him.~
@)->----- Place this ASCII flower in your sig as a thank you to all of our amazing moderators at MTS!
TS3 vs. Your CPU: The Solution
Theorist
#866 Old 12th Apr 2017 at 1:49 AM
Worn out.

I got refills for the sedatives, but I noticed I was nervously stuttering and stammering during my appointment to describe myself.

I bought hangers, boxed dinners, a CD boombox, ginger ale and new shirts.

It was almost 80-85 degrees Fahrenheit today...My father is now baffled by the crazy weather. For a long time, he said the lack of weather data is his reason to deny climate change. I told him if the bees are confused, it's definitely a good sign that it's not a good sign.

So my father agrees that something'sā€‹ wrong with this weather.

That and being addicted to an obnoxious, frenetic song on a Japanese CD with the majority of songs in the catalog sung in English.

Avatar: Jingjing the Black Ring Panda from Beijing 2008 Olympics.

"In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that, as far as we know, is hanging in space over Lake Michigan."
Ralphie as an adult, A Christmas Story
Scholar
#867 Old 12th Apr 2017 at 2:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandieLove
@PANDAQUEEN I hope you have luck getting the sedatives. I feel so bad for you...

Good news: I'm getting a gaming PC soon. Maybe I can play TS3 with decent framerates, better graphics, and less lag without sacrificing my messload of CC.

Bad news: Since my family is moving I need to wait until we have moved to buy PC so we don't have to lug it along with the rest of our stuff, and so I know how much desk space I have (this will affect case and monitor choices). Given that everything is so up in the air and we are moving in later than I predicted, the wait is truly agonizing. Especially since I am trying to hold off from simming until I get gaming PC so I can play the best parts of my sims' lives on a computer that can actually handle them doing things like going to college and travelling the world.

The struggle is real.

Neopets, Subeta, and Tomodachi Life can only subside me so much ;'(

Also, I have opened my eyes briefly from the deep slumber of hiatus before I hear the calls of finals season that lull my account back into the sleep of inactivity. AKA life interfering with simming.


Neopets and Tomodachi Life! Love them. Have you considered similar games to help pass the time? Off the top of my head I can think of Fantasy Life (3DS) and possibly Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?

My downloads archived at Wordpress.
My photo blog at Tumblr.
Mad Poster
#868 Old 13th Apr 2017 at 8:15 AM
Well rested after 2 days off... Well, technically 1, as I went ti my other job on Wednesday (the first shift I'd had there since the start of January)

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Steam ID: PadukSteam
Theorist
#869 Old 13th Apr 2017 at 10:44 PM
Weirded out by the power of my brain.

I woke up and felt like that dream of presenting a video game to a crowded room of Japanese speakers with a translator behind me repeating every thing I said on each note card, one card at a time and I was decked by Aonuma-san (Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild) after I finished, screaming "Hi, Kymchee!" In English in the process. (Kymchee is the nickname I acquired as a student in the vocational program. My mom gave it to me because if I study continuously, I tend to stink. At least it'sā€‹ not a nickname like Iron Butt)

I watched a few cartoons and I eventually got the mail. Got my books for my studies.

I am recovering from my withdrawal of the sedative I ran out of a while back.

I spent time reading my books and watching old episodes of SpongeBob. I even watched the April 12, 2017 Nintendo Direct and had Shake and Bake pork chops.

Avatar: Jingjing the Black Ring Panda from Beijing 2008 Olympics.

"In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that, as far as we know, is hanging in space over Lake Michigan."
Ralphie as an adult, A Christmas Story
Theorist
#870 Old 14th Apr 2017 at 9:13 PM
Fine and dandy. I thought my computer was more borked this morning, but I was able to get it back to its usual state of borkiness.

I only have seven more radiation treatments to go, and the stuff the radiologist told me (the walking cloud) to buy to help keep my skin from burning has worked miracles. I have no sunburn and no peeling skin. The doctors predicted I would have a terrible time and have to take at least one week off because my skin is SO white and so sensitive. But this stuff has worked like a charm.

It's Good Friday and I am so thankful for the gift Jesus gave me that day.

"Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for awhile."
Lab Assistant
#871 Old 16th Apr 2017 at 2:28 PM
I am happy, just ate my favorite icecream. Mango and passion sherbet!
Theorist
#872 Old 16th Apr 2017 at 4:15 PM
Happy Easter
Theorist
#873 Old 16th Apr 2017 at 5:03 PM
It's Easter! It's a wonderful day.

"Death cannot stop true love; all it can do is delay it for awhile."
Top Secret Researcher
#874 Old 17th Apr 2017 at 2:35 AM
Another holiday spent alone in my room, yeah I'm sure you can imagine how I feel.

Every part of me wants to believe there's a darkness we need to feel for the brightest light to be seen and felt inside.
Theorist
#875 Old 18th Apr 2017 at 12:45 AM Last edited by PANDAQUEEN : Today at 5:29 PM.
Me and Bigsimsfan12 got into a fight, but we eventually made up.

Also, with Easter officially marking the coming of spring, I have to get used to sharing airspace with striped, stinging bugs (bees, wasps, hornets, yellowjackets) for the first time in 20 years. Western Washington didn't have so many bugs like the aforementioned, but telling people about the mating rituals of dragonflies, snails and slugs was a treat in my years in the foothills.

I also made a music video to the song featured in Hey Arnold!, "I Saw Your Face and Wow". Judging by the song title, it was a laughable stab at arrogant pop stars and the subsection of the music industry that also had a nod to Milli Vanilli in that it wasn't Ronnie Matthews singing the song (His Latin accent in his speaking​ voice was thick enough to give away he couldn't pull off the accentless voice in the song)

Granted the full song is 45 seconds long, but I was able to edit footage together to give some idea of a good video.

(Wed) April 19, 2017
I recently set up a GoFundMe to pay for my food, housing and medical. I have realized that I can't be too proud that I can't accept donations. The only reason I never saw myself as disabled because my generation overemphasized physical disabilities when the term disabled came up. But I can't work because of my aforementioned medical issues.

I guess the only reason I spoke of this to you guys was because this is a monumental step forward to not be as stubborn and try pushing towards something that obviously doesn't work.

It's not like I won't work, but my disabilities and mental health is just two reasons why working doesn't work for me.

(Sun) April 23, 2017
I have the house to myself and I am actually bummed by it for the first time in years. Mainly due in part because I am trying to save money for next month. My mother, who is a mind games type of prankster, issued me a challenge to save money from between May 1 to December 7. She told me that she'll match the amount and give me said amount for Christmas. My mother and I don't normally make such high stakes wagers. I'll make her eat her words from the past. (She has little faith in my resolve.)

Also, I hope to be the victor in reclaiming my queen sized bed from my 7lb cat, who loves shoving people out of their beds. She shoves me out on regular occasion, but when she first shoved my dad out of bed during our move, dad realized her determination. She also shoved my mother out because of jealousy to cuddle with dad. (In her previous home, she sat in her male owner's lap on regular occasion). She sometimes gives the look of "NO ROOM FOR YOU!"

Avatar: Jingjing the Black Ring Panda from Beijing 2008 Olympics.

"In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that, as far as we know, is hanging in space over Lake Michigan."
Ralphie as an adult, A Christmas Story
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