So, my life's goal/dream/whatever is to become a translator/interpreter of some sort. To do this, obviously, I'll need to learn a number of languages.

My problem here is that I seem to lack the motivation to actually sit down and learn the languages. I want to, believe me, I want to, but I just... I don't know. I've had my Italian Rosetta Stone for almost two years. Two. Years. And I'm not even a fifth of the way through it. I feel like I've wasted those two years, language-wise, because if I had really applied myself, I might be fluent by now. But no, I'm a fucking lazy procrastinator who never has any motivation or will to actually do the shit I like.

(Also fuck my brain.)

I don't know. I can't think right now. Bljgkldsjgdskgd blah.

Also on something of a procrastination theme, I have my first exam on Tuesday and I've hardly studied at all. In the past week I've started an ambitious gardening project, started writing two things, read a 700 page novel and I'm probably going to reorganize my room at some point over the next few days...but no studying.

It pisses me off that I can't think of anything to write. I can't even force myself to write. Nothing comes to mind.

God damn.

One day I am full of inspiration and energy to finally draw something, the other I just sulk around and feel shitty about everything I do.

Brain why you no work with me?

I really don't feel like seeing or talking to anyone at the moment. I don't even know why. And this boy I went out with last summer sent me a facebook message with a link to this job with the company he works for and told me he'd recommend me for it if I wanted to apply for it, and I know it should be a really sweet, thoughtful thing but it just makes me feel strange.

Life has been shitty since I last visited this site. I hate seeing a friend be in an abusive friendship. Friend A (my best friend) is in a really horrible friendship with Friend B (one of the people I dislike most in this world) where B only talks to A sporadically and when A asks for a reason why it's just sporadic talking and not the somewhat constant talking that they did before, B gives really ambiguous and confusing answers. A has cried to me about how B was verbally abusive to her in the past and how she wasn't going to let her do any of that crap to her anymore. A cut off ties with B for months (I'm going to say three months about) and then B starts talking to her and A responds cordially. Now, A and B are back to where they were, with me seeing a lot of the crap B says to A. It's sickening. It really is. And I feel like I can't do anything and I've been wanting to just get away from the situation. This has been plaguing my mind for a while and I can't help but feel like punching B in her face.

And to top it all off with a cherry, I have to take a week full of finals. Fun fun fun.

I am always in a bad mood and that puts me in an even worse mood. I don't like talking to anyone anymore, I only open up facebook to play a couple of games because all my CDs decided to crack and not work.

Shitty vacation is shitty.

So I'm standing in the living room, trying to explain to my mom what I was going to do next with my story, when I start watching the TV for about thirty seconds.

I stop watching and realize that all the ideas for my story had vanished.

Fuck you Sheldon Cooper. Your ridiculous antics chased the ideas out of my head.

My stupid annoying bratty sister took my magazine that she knew that I was going to read. So I then tried to get it off her and she ripped it up.
I was so angry, as I never read it yet and when I said that she would have to buy me a new copy, she laughed and said she wouldn't.
I'm know what I'm going to do now, I'm going to take $5 out of her wallet for the magazine.