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New Creator Theme: Elders! - posted on 1st Sep 2018 at 11:43 AM
Replies: 150 (Who?), Viewed: 36344 times.
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#26 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 12:18 AM
I agree with Katie. I don't think spanking is necessary, but if people use it as a last resort at least don't use a belt or make it hurt really bad.
I'm only in high school, and I remember when I was a kid I was never spanked. I don't even know if I was spanked in my life. My parents always did other things, such as time outs.
I remember only once in my life when my dad got really mad at me and tried to hurt me but my mom made him stop.
As for me, when I have children I won't spank them. It just wouldn't feel right for me to do. A little swat on the butt isn't child abuse, but doing it with a belt really hard for a few times is.
#27 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 12:24 AM
I remember when I was a child that I got spanked. I was scared because my dad would become red and growl at me. I once hid in a cupboard under the sink for 15 minutes before coming out. It made him angrier.

I still flinch when someone takes a belt and holds it in an 0 shape and slaps them together.
#28 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 12:35 AM
i dont see spanking as abuse but it might cause some emotional and/or mental damage to the child depending on often they are spanked and how hard.

i think adults spank their child because they dont know how to release their angre or stress so they take it on their childs. well thats what i think.

but in my oppion, if i were a kid i wouldve rathered been spank then be punished with the switch. its a very small tree branch from a small weak tree. now that hurts when it hits bare legs and you're between the ages of 5 and 8. it really cause some mental/emotional damage and creates fear but thats what my father did to punish me and my brother.

spanking isnt really necessary because my mom never used it and we behaved around her but she inforced the rules were my dad didnt so we always ended up in trouble around him
Banned
#29 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 2:06 AM
I don't see how spanking could be emotionally or mentally damaging at all, and by spanking I mean a swift swat(and even what I got as a kid multiple times). Main reason why I don't see how it can be is that it's generally not a traumatic experience. I've grown up and I sense no emotional or mental damage from the numerous paddlings I received over the years. I think that spankings are a better approach to punishments than a time out as I see time outs a way of just saying "What you did is wrong but it's ok to do it if I'll not find out about it" where as a spanking teaches them that there are consequences for their actions and those consequences can be painful.

in fact if I were to have gotten a time out I wouldn't have figured out whatever it was that i had done was wrong or anyway in the least bit coming with bad consequences. A few of my spankings were sparked from gasoline fires in the driveway beside the house.

Another thing I've noticed, at least with the kids I went to school with that were given lenient treatment(ie time outs), were the more unruly children that bullied other kids.
#30 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 2:10 AM
I was spanked as a child all through elementary school. It wasn't abuse... i know i was a snot, i should have probably got it more, lol! My parents were very good about telling me why though, and it was always a last resort. Now that i look back though, i feel kind of bad for mom, having to deal with both of us at once.
Theorist
#31 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 2:28 AM
All of my relatives who don't hit their children have them grow up as rebels. All of them have no respect to the parents at all. They would scream and yell at their parents like they're screaming to a slave or something. So definitely yes you should spank your children when they're acting up.
#32 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 3:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by treeag
All of my relatives who don't hit their children have them grow up as rebels. All of them have no respect to the parents at all. They would scream and yell at their parents like they're screaming to a slave or something. So definitely yes you should spank your children when they're acting up.


Your relatives probably don't no how to discipline at all... there are more useful ways than spanking they they probably never tried.
Field Researcher
#33 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 4:35 AM
Like? Time outs don't work, kids will do it again and try to get smarter about doing it without mommy knowing, because the 'rents can, but they can't and they want to be cool like them. Negotiating why doesn't work, as they can't wrap their heads around why hitting their brother who is playing with his favorite toy is wrong or why you don't play in traffic. Taking something away works if their is a strong emotional attachment, but it doesn't work for jack if the kid wants to touch the hot stove.

But kids don't like to be hurt. Who does? So the response to pain is to avoid the source of pain. I am one of those kids that tried to touch the hot grill despite the warnings of parents not to. And I suceeded in getting past them without getting a spanking (cause my parents did spank). To this day, I have a very deep seated pyrophobia, where I can not funcition when dealing with a hot surface. You can bet I learned my lesson through pain, but in hind sight, a spanking would have been the better teacher. But until I knew what "Its hot, don't touch" meant, nothing would have stopped me from playing with the grill like my dad.

And I can back up the relative statement. I have two uncles, each with their own families, who live within a mile of each other. Uncle number 1's wife would spank her daughter when the situation warrented. Uncle number 2's wife believed spanking was wrong. Uncle number 1's daughter is now 11-12 and honostly one of the most mature people I have ever met, as opposed to 2's daughter, who is about a month younger and likes to hit her big cousin (that would be me) because its a game to her.
Top Secret Researcher
#34 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 5:40 AM
I don't see spanking as a form of abuse. Think: What would've happened if you didn't spank your child? What would they be--worse than usual? I've seen kids who act like spoiled brats, and my mom would always say, "He/she's not being disciplined by his/her parent."

You know, spanking is not the worst things a parent can do. A parent can do FAR worse than that--physically, emotionally, or mentally abuse the child. But usually, some children take spanking as a form of abuse. Ask me. I've been spanked by my parents when I act up.

But that was years ago, back when I was 7-10 years old. That's another thing: Spanking must be done at the right age. Would you imagine a 16 or 18-year old teen being spanked by his parents. Isn't that--embarassing?

So basically: Spanking isn't abuse, it just has to be for the right reasons and the right age.
#35 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 5:50 AM
i think its just instinctive. pain means 'no'.
Lab Assistant
#36 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 9:27 AM
Blah.

I dont know if I agree with it or not..
Whenever my mom used to hit me, it made me feel like she didnt love me.
And being 6, and thinking your mom doesnt love you, uh.. No.

Yet, at the same time, I guess there is some truth to it..
Its how I learned not to do things, in a way that I could remember.

Complicated.
I think..
Its up to the child.
Not saying its the childs decision, but it depends on how the child reacts to different kinds of punishment.

-shrug-
And thats my thought on it.
Field Researcher
#37 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 10:04 AM
NO! NEVER!!!!!
It's against the law here in Norway and I'm VERY glad it is. I do consider spanking your child as violence! It doesn't matter why you do it. Spanking your child makes your child spank their child. It's an evil circle and spanking kids make them feel unworthy and that they have no ownership of their own body. What right do you have to spank your child?
Test Subject
#38 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 10:16 AM
I'm sorry but I refuse to let any one tell me how to raise my kid!!! At this moment, I do not have children but when that time comes, I don't feel that I have to discuss a disciplined action when my child gets out of line. I was raised that if you spare the rod, you spoil the child and I turned out to be okay. I'm not going to counselors because I feel that my mom didn't love me enough because she spanked me for acting out...WTF? The gov't needs to stay out of my business about how I raise mine. If a child gets out of line with me and tell me that they aren't going to do what I tell them to do in my house, that I am working for to feed and clothe. I can really see the fur flying.

Call it what you want, but have you ever wondered why there are so many young people committing all of these crimes, going around killing people? I'll tell you why: They never had their @§§e§ whipped and when that does eventually happen, they can't handle it....and then they go around shooting people....Stupid, stupid, stupid....

My mom was spanked, my husband was, my siblings were...Heck, everyone that I know personally was and I do not know that is going on in today's society but when the gov't takes over, all things to go hell IMHO....If the gov't feels so strongly about this, they can come and raise them their selves and see if they can do a better job....

End Rant...That's my §0.02....

I have tried, but have failed. What else is there for me do do?
Field Researcher
#39 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 10:23 AM
Even an animal more "primitive" than a human being doesn't need physical (or psychological, for that matter) aggression to be "trained". The most you get out of a spanked child is shame and anger, and while they obey in actions I doubt they are not simply burning inside since they don't really "get" the lesson and the reason they should behave in a certain way. They "behave" because they fear, not because they learned something. It's just a matter of time before the 'spanking' loses the effect and then you'll have a both angry and uneducated child to deal with. Besides, what child in their right mind would obey and respect an adult that can't make him/herself understood by words and example is beyond me.

You want to know the Secret... so did I. Low in the dust I sought it, and on high. No agony of any mortal brain shall wrest the secret of the life of man. The Search has taught me that the Search is vain.
#40 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 10:46 AM
animals do inflict pain on their infants to teach them. i watched a programme on zebra's the other day, a calf wandered off and had a run in with a lion. the calf's dad chased the lion away, hearded the infant back to the heard and gave it a 'sharp kick' to teach it to stick with the group. hehe. but then again, thats the point, animals are 'primitive' they don't have responsibilities we have etc. so they kinda don't need to be disciplined.

some kids do need to be smacked though, everyones different. some kids will do as their told, some wont. and if they keep on disobeying, fear needs to be put in them before they think twice about doing it again.

imagine if you found out your child was bullying another at school - you told them to stop, explain why they shouldn't - and they carry on.. personally i would spank my child. nip it in the bud. make them a better person (if you apply the given situation to other things aswell)
#41 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 10:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithlove13xxx
Your relatives probably don't no how to discipline at all... there are more useful ways than spanking they they probably never tried.


I agree. If you choose not to spank your children it doesn't mean they're going to turn into rebellious criminals!

I believe children will learn can still learn respect from and for their parents and other people if they are not spanked.

If anything, I lost respect for my dad on the rare occasion he did spank me because I thought it was unjust and unncessary and as I mentioned my mum agreed with this so it fueled my distaste for it as a punishment.

And I can't help that wonder that a smack for hurting a sibling is rather a hypocritical punishment....
Field Researcher
#42 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 10:54 AM
Well, animals do teach their infants with violence at times. But, for all I know, we are slightly more creative. Slightly. We actually manage to train dogs with no aggression at all. Now, we can always behave like wild cats, of course. But we do know alternatives and very efficient ones. Besides, I wouldn't want to see human children killing stuff with their own teeth anyway.

You want to know the Secret... so did I. Low in the dust I sought it, and on high. No agony of any mortal brain shall wrest the secret of the life of man. The Search has taught me that the Search is vain.
Test Subject
#43 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 10:57 AM
Spanking children is not abuse and it doesn't mean the parents don't love their child or anything like that. Sorry but most people against spanking live in some rich fairytale country where they can spoil their kids all they want.
#44 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 11:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jooxis84
Sorry but most people against spanking live in some rich fairytale country where they can spoil their kids all they want.


I'm against it and I would not say England is a fairy-tale country at all.. especially the part where I live!

Spoiling children is not good, it makes them lose respect for things and is nothing to do with spanking.

I will not spoil any children but I do think there are other methods of disciplining them than spanking.
Test Subject
#45 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 11:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by *katie*
I will not spoil any children but I do think there are other methods of disciplining them than spanking.


Oh, there are many methods I'm sure but most are not as effective as spanking in certain situations.

When a kid starts screaming his lungs off in the supermarket that he wants candy when he can't have it and he starts rolling on the floor and won't shut up (seen this many times) he gets an a$$ whoopin and it does enforce some discipline, because six year olds are not very diplomatic by nature. It doesn't *traumatize* kids or make them violent when they grow up, anyone claiming this stuff is just talking crap cause they want to believe that it does.
Alchemist
#46 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 11:21 AM
im 14 and have never been spanked, my parents always ban me off the sims and that seems to work :P
#47 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 11:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jooxis84
Oh, there are many methods I'm sure but most are not as effective as spanking in certain situations.

When a kid starts screaming his lungs off in the supermarket that he wants candy when he can't have it and he starts rolling on the floor and won't shut up (seen this many times) he gets an a$$ whoopin and it does enforce some discipline, because six year olds are not very diplomatic by nature.


But why does a kid have to be spanked in that situation? It's unruly behaviour but it's not the worst thing a child could do... There's no harm being caused to anyone, no one is in danger.

I find in that situation, most parents would be embarrassed because their child is acting up in front of people and so would want the quickest way to shut their child up and be seen to be disciplining them, so that's why spanking is used.
But walking away from them and ignoring their attention grabbing behaviour could be just as effective, you're not giving in to them so they will realise their behaviour doesn't get the end result they want. And you haven't got the confrontation of spanking.
#48 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 11:41 AM
wrong - spanking regularly.

ok - occassionally when necassary.


thats what i feel, i think thats is the best solution.
spanking regularly doesn't mean its abuse, obv there's different types of force etc. but hitting regulary will most definitely loose your childs respect for you. which in turn means more spanking and it goes on the be a vicious cycle.
but occassionally is ok. when needed.
Lab Assistant
#49 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 12:10 PM
My parents never spanked me. I'm happy because of that and i don't misbehave. I trust my parents, am not afraid of them and I respect them even though I am a teen and was never spanked. Ever. Therefore I don't know will I ever spank or hit my child since I was never spanked and I turned out well. I know how I would feel if my parents tried to hit me and I don't want my child to feel that way. I'll have to find another way to keep it from spoiling or misbehaving (although I don't believe that I'll be that strict and not spoil my child at all). Hurting your child in any way will make you feel bad (if you're a good parent) and your child.

"Over the Mountains of the Moon, down the Valley of the Shadow, ride, boldly ride," the shade replied - "if you seek for Eldorado"
Field Researcher
#50 Old 3rd Apr 2008 at 12:31 PM
Just because you don't spank a child doesn't mean you'll be emotionally abusive instead! My cousins were spanked, and they obeyed their parents more out of fear than love and respect. My mother never laid a hand to me, and according to her and various other sources, you couldn't have found a more obedient, contented and placid child.

If anyone's thinking of spanking their children, I think it's time they gave Nanny Jo a call!
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