Sexual orientation is not something you choose, really. It's much more like something that happens to you.
Part of it is environmental, but you're also born predisposed to becoming gay or straight. Research has been done looking at homosexuality/bisexuality in twins, and it's shown that 52% of identical boy twins both end up gay if one is, but only 22% of pairs fraternal twin boys end up gay if one is. The statistics for girl twins are much the same (48% and 16% respectively).
However, just because you're born with a certain predisposition doesn't mean you'll end up adhering to it. The rest depends on the environment you grow up in and the rest of your experiences.

Right. And those experiences are... what? Bullying? Ostracism? Shunning? Religious abuse?

Anybody can pretend to be something they're not to please others. That doesn't mean that's the best course of action. Or that it leads to any sort of lasting happiness...

Congratulations, you discovered a concept called passing, where people of a marginalized group "pass" as people from the dominant/privileged group. Of course, if this was a truly fair world, there would be no privileged/marginalized hierarchy, and therefore, no passing.

I haven't read the hole thread but why do a lot of people think that being gay is a sin?I am not gay (but on the other hand i am 13 so i don't really know that..but anyway i am straight).but gays shouldn't be discriminated god loves Everyone and everything and yes he loves gay people.i don't know why should people even call the with a other name - GAY they are people like the rest of us.And i support them and i think that marriages should be allowed.I may be 13 but i have a strong opinion for this topic.(And yeah i pray to god,go to church and i am a Christian).there is nothing wrong with being gay.And i don't think it is a choice it is the way we are born.I know one day when i have kids and if they are gay i will love them the same way that i did before.So just stop the stuiped discrimination..I am sick of it. And someone in this thread said that gays also rape children.that isn't really true know.pedophilia and gay isn't the same thing.beeing attracted to the opposite sex is legal pedophilia is grose and hidious and people who do it shoud go to jail

I find lady bits be amazing in aesthetic, smell, and taste. But despite this, I chose to be gay out of spite for man kind. Take THAT God! HaHA!

Dude, TMI.

You're either gay or you're not. If you're bisexual, but only choose to pursue relationships with men, you still haven't *chosen* to be gay.

Also, you're not funny.

Oh no! Joke alert!

Okay, so I stumbled over here while looking for something else ... skimmed a bit and fine, I'll open my big mouth.

@ -April- ... If you're so Christian, perhaps you should read that book that warms your butt when you're sitting in the pews listening to the preacher ramble on about something else. Leviticus, Acts, Judges and Romans (just to name A FEW books) all contain explicit references to how it's a sin for a man to lie with another man and proscribing the penalty to be DEATH. Also, since you're 13, you should know that Leviticus also says that you should be dragged to the town gates and stoned to death if you disobey your elders ... even once. And that your pastor should be PUT TO DEATH for working on the sabath. Yeah, there's no clergy exception clause there ... NOBODY is to work, and "travel" is considered work, so YOU MUST DIE for going to the mall on Sunday! ... see, this is why I hate that religion: its members have no clue what their nameless diety is really telling them to do.

But enough about putting so-called Christians down, this is the wrong forum for that. This is about gays.

Gays are ... they always have been, they always will be. The reason they SEEM to be popping up a lot more in the past 20 years is because back in the 80s it was socially acceptable to beat a gay man within an inch of his life and leave him bleeding in an alley, but that's changed. Gays have acceptance and assurance that they won't be killed or beaten for the first time IN HISTORY, so they're no longer hiding. But they've always been there, and they're always going to be there, and nothing will ever change that.

You don't have to like them. Hell, you don't have to like pie, either, but think of all the looks you'll get when you tell people you don't like pie. It's just like that, they're popular now and "everybody knows one". Learn to live with them and maybe get past their sexual orientation and see them for what they are: people.

There's no need to worry about a cause or a cure or whatever, any more than there's a need to know why some flowers grow with seven petals instead of five ... it just happens, and if that bothers you (and if you're really a Christian, then it damn well better bother you, or you're kidding yourself about being a Christian) then GET OFF MY PLANET.

... now where's that thing I was looking for ...

I totally agree with what you said here hysterical Paroxysm

and some of my experiences are the same, I too am bi-sexual and i KNOW i don't have ANY other gay people in my family so HOW CAN it be genetic??
I just knew i prefer to look at women more than men and i'm weirdly just NOT interested in looking at men, its rare i like or am attracted to a man whether its on the tv or not.
My husband doesn't mind if i say things about women though. He is pretty understanding about it all and it just doesn't bother him at all.
BUT i'm married too and have 3 girls, and have been with my Husband for 17 years.
BUT i cant help still liking and actually fancying women, I actually am more attracted to women than men. And i know if i hadn't fallen for my husband i would of been with a women BUT like being bi, I couldn't help who i fell in love with either.
And My husband is the same as most straight men he "seems" to think its great to have 2 lesbian women together BUT can't understand about 2 men.
I have had talks with him about this ,BUT he isn't actually homophobic or anything ,BUT he just does not understand it.
I'm very openminded and do HATE the way some people act to people who are gay, or bisexual or anything else that is called "different".
I also am NOT religious as i just find that ALOT of religions are just interpreted however they want it to be at the time and for their own selfish views, They will say things like being gay is wrong, BUT they wont agree with say the part that says you should stone your children!!!
To me its like there isn't ANYTHING else you can say to these type of people, as they will always say we are sinners and wrong etc. and will NOT agree with us, you will get comments like "well can't you just NOT be gay!" WTF?
I also have alot of other problems with religion being used to abuse people, indoctrinate, scare,bully ,brainwash etc and they get away with it all in the name of religion .BUT that is another thread, for another time.lol
Like alot of us have said , do you really think we would "choose" to be gay and be shouted at , argued with about it, shunned be certain societies, and in some cases beat up or drove to commit suicide.

I have never been beat up or anything of the sort ,BUT i will NOT excuse the way i'am, and will not listen to hateful comments and small minded views from people who don't understand what it is to be bi or gay.

Leviticus is a rulebook for the Jews of a really long time ago and in no way relevant to the modern Christian. Only, some seem to pick and choose from that like it still matters also, ignoring the references that would make it clear that it's not about consensual sex between adults but older Jewish religious leaders preying on young male prostitutes. By young I mean pedobait. The others were opinions made by a particular follower of Christ. Christ himself never gave an opinion for or against but surely he did not care as long as you loved him and his father. Makes sense from a cult standpoint, need to be all encompassing in order to garner the most followers. I can't be certain any of the mythical aspects of the Bible are true or not but I know for a fact they have no point in regards to the law. And I'll stand by that.
All this and more could be understood if these people actually cared about "the good book" and weren't just using it to justify their hate and/or prejudice. Not that this is the first time it's been used to those ends. Just ask the African Americans.

"Like a moth to a flame burned by the fire, my love is blind can't you can't you see my desire That's The Way Love Goes" - Janet Jackson

Watch this video called "Gay Education" on YouTube it might be helpful, tell me what you guys think about it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PooEhBxh0NY

wow so that is the exact crap that is homophobic have you seen the comments at the bottom of the video!! WTF!

But the generalization of genes having any effect is based upon the theory on men not women being gay with the more boys a women has, the more likely they are to be gay.
And with twin boys , if one is gay its about a 70% that the other twin will be gay, again this is aimed at men again.
It didn't say anything about women and genes!
And where are their facts coming from, surely they haven't asked a ton of gay people things like this?

And i still say that i have no gay people in my family AT ALL! Ok i'm not lesbian only i'm Bi.
BUT its still that that this ISN'T a choice.
We are born this way.

And i stand by that still.

I was totally disgusted by the foul comments by homophobic's at the bottom in the comments area and of course people quoting religion AGAIN! We don't shout and cuss them for being straight do we. The sort of hate in the comments area is what most gay people have to put up with ESP men. And as i said earlier "WHO WOULD CHOOSE TO BE CUSSED OUT AND STUFF"
The people who commented like that shout be ashamed of themselves. There was so much hate coming out in those comments, maybe they are scared to admit they are gay too, someone protest's too much me thinks! lol

Last edited by lilac_sim : 17th Feb 2011 at 11:07 PM.

its neither a choice or genetic it just is kind of like asking what happened before the big bang there doesn't always have to be a cause and effect. and on this planet theres all kinds of stuff that can be questioned just do a unsafe search in google images under deep inside raven and WTF was he born that way???? no it just is what is period

Mmmm... sorry, I seriously have to disagree. Homosexuality certainly does have a cause. And, whatever your talking about (don't feel like looking it up) also has a cause. Take Grady Stiles, aka. Lobster Boy. He had a deformity. It had a cause, it didn't just "happen."

Of course, I don't mean to make it sound like homosexuality is "bad" because it has some kind of cause of it. Heterosexuality is in the same boat, so, yeah. Neither are normally a choice.

We must bear in mind that homosexuality might be something some people choose for themselves, alongside something most homosexuals do not choose. I know one otherwise straight woman who, for a number of personal reasons, has been in a loving, difficult, long-term relationship with a lesbian for many years.

@kiwi: Keep in mind that human beings are incredibly complex creatures. This woman could be homoromantic (yeah, who knew there was a term for that?), but if she's "straight except for the times she's gay", she's likely bisexual. The Ancient Greek had what one could define as homoromantic relationships quite often, but they didn't have an unusual prevalence of homosexuals per se.

Then again, the Ancient Greek were a bunch of weirdos.

Oh, and for the curious, a homoromantic is defined as: "A person who is romantically attracted to a member of the same sex. Homoromantic asexuals seek romantic relationships for a variety of reasons, including companionship, affection, and intimacy. However, they do not desire sex with their romantic partner."

If I could've chosen my sexuality my life would've been a lot easier, but, at the same time, knowing what I know now and experiencing what I have, if it was a choice, I would still pick what I am today, which is bisexual.

I knew at a very young age that I liked girls as well as guys and for years I spent very confused about this and it lead to counseling and much pain. When I decided to come out to my parents who are very traditional Sicilian parents. It was very heartbreaking. Their reactions were, well they were not what I had hoped they would be. My mother went and blamed herself, why? I'm not sure... And she locked herself in her bedroom for a good 3-4 days. My father had problems talking to me and would always bring up the Christian belief of it being a sin and whatnot. I was and will always be Roman Catholic. Being bisexual and a Catholic might be contradictive in a lot of ways, but its not really. I have my relationship with God and under the belief that we are all his children (if you're Catholic or Christian you know this belief, if you are not, that's fine. I am not one of those conservative Christians who thinks if you don't believe in God you're going to hell, etc, etc). I love learning about religions of all sorts and learning as much as I can. I am not judgmental by any means.

So having a personal relationship with God, despite what the church may say or the Pope... I can still be bisexual and love my religion. I choose to ignore the negativity and I honestly, I feel bad for those fanatics out there that are so ignorant in those respects. There are Christian churches out there for people who are LGBT. And they pretty much go under the same belief that regardless of who we love and how we love we are God's children. That's a comfort. I've actually drawn strength from this and from the hatred as well... I feel like a better person due to it. With the good, there will always be the bad and I have experienced my fair share of hate and I honestly don't wish it on anyone...

Anyways... I was born this way. If its genetic or not, I am not too keen to jump at a conclusion despite evidence. I have read studies and reports and scientific articles on the subject. Who are these scientists funded by? What is their objective? We live in a world where everyone has their own agenda and it is usually fueled by a disposable income coming from some group or another... Well... that's just what I think. I try to not be so naive and to question as much as possible, on both sides.

As far as the whole ex-gay argument. I've seen like really bizarre and scary instances of certain groups who brainwash basically people who are willing to participate into being straight. Its quite disturbing. Plus the human psyche is so vast, who says that some of these people who proclaim they are ex-gay or however they like to call it, who says they are not in a stage of denial or have repressed it to such a severe extent that, to them, it really is non-existent. The mind is a very complicated thing and it should never be underestimated.

Hmmm....Im a Catholic so I should really have a pretty one-dimensonal anti-gay view but I dont......I do think that genetics could make you more inclined to a certain gender preference (I discussed this with my biology teacher a few months ago oddly enough 0.o) but this isnt enough to be gay or straight. Its a choice, you could be more inclined to be gay but choose to be straight (I actually know someone like that, she's got a boyfreind at the moment and its all good for them) or the other way round.

Its most certainly a choice (Bi's get both at the same time, thats gotta make getting a date so much easier), its not a choice as is important as people make out (so what? who cares who chases what gender?) but its still a choice all the same.
And on the religion front, I dont think all the gays are going to hell, surely its you acts that aid or harm others that truely matter, not who you love?
I didnt always have this "does it really matter?" opinion but....I saw on tv these two gay guys and their kids (names escape me at the moment im afraid >.<) and I saw how happy they were, the kids were happy and I'm yet to se a couple more happy than them (Ive seen people as happy but not more happy). Its a choice, we have free will do to as we please and genetics dont have the final say in who we are as people.

Another theory there, I forget where I heard it now, is that everyone is to some degree bisexual. For many people this may only extend to seeing someone of the gender your don't normally go for, and thinking "Whew, if I was gay/straight I'd...", for some it might mean a lifetime of attraction to one gender with a few blips, etc. I'm not sure what I think of this theory, but it's interesting.

Ive heard of this theory myself but I cant agree simply because I cant find men attractive, I only find women attractive. When I sit there and one of my female freinds say something like "Oooh! yummy! what do you think?"(they talk like that a lot suprisingly >.<) I cant answer simply because I dont feel anything that way. Cant agree with that theory.

Actually, I sort of can see it, myself. Like, perhaps the brains wiring from birth is more inclined to bisexuality, but then changes over time as the person grows to suit a biological tilt towards their sexuality.

Right, I don't know whether this has been said already because i'm too lazy to go through 21 pages of stuff but. Homosexuality is caused by the amount of estrogen in your mothers bloodstream, and each time your are pregnant your estrogen goes up a bit more each time (i think :S) so say you are the youngest boy of 9 elder brothers you are more likely to be gay as opposed to an only child or someone with one or two elder siblings. I think this is along the lines of what happens, but my brain is a sieve so correct me if i'm wrong

Ok, well I'm a bi girl. What about me? Too much oestrogen?

What about my lovely gay (male) friend N, who has no siblings?

I don't know, i know that too much oestrogen is one of the causes in male homosexuality i don't know about the rest. I should pay more attention in class