Transfer from SS2

My question is this:

Do you think that if somebody cheated in a past relationship, they will cheat in every other relationship they are in? Is it true that if a somebody cheats once, or in only one relationship, they will do it again and again? What do you think?

Of course they won't always do it again, some people grow and learn from their mistakes.

The likelihood of them doing it again would depend on why they did it the first time.

Not always. But often, I think.

I agree with simbalena. Some people do it because they are douches and don't care. Then they will probably do it again.

And, of course, whether it's classified as a "mistake" really depends on the relationship too. Sometimes the mistake you're correcting is the person you're cheating on, as an exit strategy.

It really does depends on the person and the relationship. I hate to admit that I cheated once, I was young and the guy I was with was and had done something to really upset me so the relationship wasn't that great, I promptly finished it with after I cheated and told him what I did. I can truthly say I have never cheated again, so personally no not once a cheater always a cheater, however some people will always cheat. As I said depends on the person and as simbalena said some might grown and learn from their mistakes like I did.

People who cheated once are more likely to cheat again. If you keep going on with your relationship after a cheat, what is it worth?

Some but not all do it again, and it doesn't have to be about the sex.

I cheated twice on the same guy when I was a teenager but it had nothing to do with being addicted to sex. I think it was because I wasn't in the type of relationship I wanted to be in, and due to my inexperience with relationships I didn't have enough perspective to know when to give up on it and leave.

I told my boyfriend the first time and he stayed with me, I didn't tell him the second time but he eventually found out and still wanted to stay with me. Not long after that I broke it off because I'd finally realised it was never going to be what I wanted it to be. I haven't cheated since.

Peoples childhood experiences influence their behaviour too, like my friend said she always seemed to be the other woman, and she thought it was because her dad had an affair and eventually left her mum for the other woman. This taught her that it's better to be the other woman than the wife.

My dad cheated on my mum and I saw her pain. So maybe that taught me that you can either be the cheater or the cheated on, the cheater doesn't suffer as much so it's smarter to be the cheater!

I also think for me it was also something to do with getting male attention rather than getting sex.

You don't really have to be suffering from sexual addiction or even be a horrible person to be unhappy in a relationship that's difficult to extricate yourself from or otherwise complicated. I mean, everything would be great and wonderful if human socialization fit into these neat categories and stereotypes everyone wants them to, but it doesn't. People are messy and complicated, and it's no surprise that their relationships are too.

If you want simple relationships then you should look at some porn or buy pet fish or something.

Relationships are never simple, but if you cheat, not tell your spouse, your reliability is worth zero. Cheating can happen, what you do with it is your choice.

I cheated once (with my now husband oddly enough) after a huge fight and immediately told the guy within twelve hours. He forgave me and we stayed together. (Until we broke up amicably later for distance reasons.)

The way I felt after I cheated that one time...I could never do it again. Ever. And it was hard enough the first time considering I couldn't keep it secret for even a full 24 hour day. So yeah. I don't think cheating once means you'll necessarily cheat again, whether in the same relationship or a future one.

I think it depends on their relationship and how it meets their emotional and sexual needs and whatever other expectations thay might have from it.

There is no excuse for cheating. If your spouse/significant other isn't meeting your needs, either sexually or emotionally, you need to get counseling or terminate that relationship first. Cheating is an incredibly selfish act, and is disrespectful to your partner. For married couples, you took a vow. Honor that vow. For unmarried couples, if you want to sleep with someone else, break up first.

However, to answer Amish_Nick's original questions, I don't think it is inevitable that a cheater will cheat again. In many cases it may be true, but I don't think it is fair to generalize and say that the behavior will automatically be repeated. At least, its only as fair as stating that people who haven't cheated in a relationship so far are incapable of cheating later.

Sometimes people change for the better, sometimes they change for the worse. It is just unfair to assume.

Of course its easier said that done...that doesn't mean its impossible to do though. Too many people are willing to take the wide road, rather than the narrow, because its "easier said than done". But as a Christian, I have a responsibility to my girlfriend, and the inner strength from God to live up to that responsibility. It's called doing the right thing. If the time comes when I no longer want to be with her, and want to be with someone else, I have a duty to end things first, then only after that is done, move on. It's called respect.

There are many reasons to cheat and many attitudes to cheating. I agree with you here, cheating is just sefish. "Wanting to test before you break up" or the people who try to hop to a better relationship while still in the first one because they cannot be alone are problematic.

In a cheater the attitude tells a lot. Some people have few moral problems with cheating, they justify it easily to themeselves. That should ring a bell. Like afraid of beeing alone, blame it all on the partner etc. Others regret more and have a very different attitude. If someone wants to date while in a relationship still, thats someone who is likely to cheat again. When you go with such a person you know what your up to. But then again, when both are doing that, at least they share some common morals

CT, I didn't cheat on my husband. I cheated on my last boyfriend with my husband. (Before we got married.) He was actually cheating on his then girlfriend too with me.

But it wasn't physical/sexual. It was emotional. And it was enough to tear us to pieces inside. That's why I don't think either of us will ever do it again.

Yes. People don't change.

ive never cheated... because i loathe the idea. the backstabbingness of it all.

NOW however i do not care if someone cheats on me, as long as they do not HIDE it from me. if they tell me that theyre cheating on me, and why, i wont blow a fuse, and will probably let them continue, as long as they dont expect me to give it up too.

it is, however, a completely different matter when emotion is involved.
i think people who genuinely do not love someone, yet says they do, are the biggest cowardly scumbags in the world. lying is something i will never tolerate, and any person im 'with' who thinks they can get away with it will find out soon enough that although i am not naturally violent [ i always question why those girls on the jerry springer show always hurt each OTHER and not the scum who was banging one behind the other ones back, instead... ] i AM naturally suspicious.

however i think my standards are so high itd be a miracle if anyone could meet them for me to date them. :P
people are stupid. people are liars.

i dont trust people.
if they cheated once....theyll probably do it again. but it depends on the person, really.