Sue to Emma in Madonna: "You don't deserve the power of Madonna. Simply put, you have all the sexuality of all those pandas down at the zoo who refuse to mate."

Sue to Kurt in Laryngitis: "You know what, I checked out of our conversation about a minute back, so good luck with your troubles, and I'm gonna make it a habit not to stop and talk to students because this has been a colossal waste of my time."

Sue to Will in Journey: "Your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist, animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing about living on the bayou."

From Theatricality:
Kurt: She changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners.
Brittany: It's true.

Kurt about Rachel in Hairography: "Rachel manages to dress like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time."

From Theatricality:
Quinn: You wanna name our daughter Jack Daniels? It's a girl.
Puck: Okay, fine. Jackie Daniels.

Puck from Mashups: "It was a message from God: Rachel was a hot Jew and the good lord wanted me to get into her pants."

Last edited by jaylo2112 : 14th Jun 2010 at 03:23 AM.

Anything with Sue or April (that drunk lady).

Sue: Iron tablet? It keeps your strength up when you menstruate.
Will: I don't menstruate.
Sue: Neither do I.

Sue: I got a satellite interview... That's lingo for an interview, via satellite.

Sue: I'll often yell at homeless people: 'Hey, how is that homelessness working out for you? Try not being homeless for once.'

Terri: I'm the new school nurse.
Will: But you don't have any training.
Terri: Please, Will, it's a public school.

Finn: I came up with the best baby name of all-time: drizzle.

Sue: I, for one, think intimacy has no place in a marriage. Walked in on my parents once and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling.

Sue: You think this is hard? Try [insert random problem here]. Now that's hard.

Emma: If we were to rank crushable teachers in this school, you'd be number-one with a bullet.

Sue: While they were in there, I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts - wasn't using them.

Lady: Who do you think I am?
Sue: That's a very good question, because I've forgotten both your names.

Sue: You two should be wetting yourselves with shame.

Sue: (holding hair) I'm gonna send this to the victims of Hurricane Katrina, so they can use it to plug the holes in their trailers.

April: I haven't had a drink in 45 minutes.

Will: The liquor cabinet is off limits.
April: No worries. I brought my own.

April: Will Schuester!? I just had a sex dream about you.

Sue: I haven't had a solid meal since 1987.

Sue: I never understood how hard it is to get laughed at, especially in slow motion.

Sue: Nobody quits the Cheerios. You either die or I kick you off.

Last edited by Kailacat : 18th Dec 2010 at 10:15 PM.

Brittany/Britney was full of brilliant quotes, but these made me lol the most.

Sue: It's a Britney Spears sex riot!

Figgins: Students that ate the ravioli today and are not up to date on their tetanus shot should see the school nurse immediately.

Sue: This school is a powder keg of sexual deviance, William. In my office I have a chair with a naked butt sweat stain to prove it.

*Rachel kisses Blaine in the middle of the coffee shop*
Blaine: O.O.... Yep. I'm gay.

About time to revive this thread, with a few quotes from A Night of Neglect...

Sandy: You're hunky and I'm what they call predatory gay.

Sandy: You just got poked. Poked by the Pink Dagger.

Dustin: I'm handsome, I'm good looking and I'm easy on the eyes. Also, I'm gorgeous. This hairline is 85% my own and my sperm count is off the charts. Let me tell you something about Will Schuester. That guy has tiny baby hands. Seriously, it's weird. Once I saw him try and pick up a Big Mac, he couldn't do it. He had to eat it layer by layer. Teeny, tiny, wee baby hands.

"Prom Queen" awesomes:

Lauren: I look like a lemon meringue pie.
Brittany: I think you look delicious.

Kurt: There is absolutely nothing off-the-rack suitable for the young, fashionable man in Ohio!
Finn: Dude, that rocks! It's like gay Braveheart!
Burt: I don't like it.
(LOVED this entire scene, BTW. But Finn just made the whole starting dialogue - nothing, IMHO, demonstrates just how great his brotherly relationship with Kurt has progressed than this.)

Finn: It's one of the good things about being in Glee club. You really get to know your way about a cummerbund.

Jesse: Now, they say that the best time to start a business is in a recession. I don't know why, or even what a recession is, but it's my understanding that we're in one.

Sue: Let me get this straight. I just threatened you, and you just told me what you really want. You're the worst POW ever! John McCain is rolling over in his grave!

Santana: As soon as we get to New York, I'm bailing to live in a lesbian colony. Or Tribeca.

Rachel: I should be mad that I got slapped in the face. However, I appreciate the drama.

Last edited by ForeverCamp : 11th May 2011 at 09:44 PM.

BRITTANY: This relationship is really confusing for me.
SANTANA: Breakfast is confusing for you.
BRITTANY: Well, sometimes it’s sweet and sometimes it’s salty. Like, what if I have eggs for dinner, then what is it?


SANTANA: Hold up. Could we all just get real here for a second? I hear that Rachel’s got a bit of a schnoz. I mean, I wouldn’t know because, like Medusa, I try to avoid eye contact with her. But can we all just stop lying about how there aren’t things that we wouldn’t change about ourselves? I mean, I’m sure that Sam’s been at the doctor’s office and rifled through pamphlets on mouth reduction. I’ll bet Artie’s thought about getting his legs removed since he’s not really using them anyways. And I’m definitely sure that Tina’s looked into getting an eye de-slanting.


All from Born This Way episode

At risk of being labelled a "Necromancer"... I had to put one of the best scenes from "Yes/No":

Artie - "I've been thinking, Mr Shue. The girls are going to try and neuter you with this assignment by encouraging you to sing a sappy ballad... or maybe even cry during it. That's not only humiliating, it's predictable. Therefore, I'm proposing that you subvert expectations and lead with your hips."
Mr. Shue - "My what?"
Artie - "So modest. You have rock star hips, Mr. Shue."
Mike - "It's true. Mick Jagger hips!" *starts swinging his hips*
Artie - "Yeah. Unleash the moves we've been practicing on , and she will swoon. Don't be alarmed by the disco ball."
Mr. Shue - "Huh?" *looks up to see the disco ball and his face goes alarmed*

In The Substitute:
Santana: What would you know about Cee Lo, cos you're like, forty?
Holly Holliday: Top forty, sweet cheeks!

(that's probably my favourite line ever)

(along with this one)

Santana: oh please, I've had mono so many times it turned into stereo!