Mod The Sims - Story Time Contest: Hero Edition

The sun was bright, lighting up this world filled with evil with a bright goodness that seemed infallible. It shone everywhere, gracing the area with warmth. Suki watched it's reflection in the water. It reminded her of Owl, but he was not here now. He was safe. That much she was sure of. Suki sat in her meditative pose and closed her eyes again.

A few feet away, Bohdin watched her deep concentration with his pupil, Esho. He looked on with understanding, while Esho, who was still learning, peered on with utter confusion.

" Bohdin-H�shi* I don't understand."

"In time you will, Esho. She is just a lost soul; Broken and betrayed by far too many. She seeks forgiveness."
"What did she do? Why does she need forgiveness?"

"A lot. She has done many horrible things for people who she believed were good; But these things do not matter anymore, she does not want to be known for her past. She wants to be known for her present and future; for her decision to change her ways and become a better person."

"But what did she do?"

The monk chuckled to himself. Children will never learn, he thought. "Alright then, I will tell you her story. From the beginning."
................................................................................................

"I win!" Yelled a tiny, head-strong girl for the tenth time in a row.

"I give up, Suki-chan!" Whined her friend. They had been playing different games for over an hour, and as usual, Suki was winning.

"One more game, Bohdin-chan! Please!"

"Fine; but I get to choose." He agreed, and then paused to think. "Hide-and-seek?"

"Okay. I'll hide first!" She answered enthusiastically and bounced off to hide.

Suki ran off down the corridor and turned onto another hallway in her huge mansion-like house. She kept running as fast as her tiny legs would bring her until she reached her father's office and peered inside. She knew she was not allowed to enter, her father had made that clear on numerous occasions, but this was a serious time; hide-and-seek was a cause for risks in her mind.

Suki crept inside the large room and looked around. The walls were covered in books in their cases, and there were fancy couches on each side of the room. In the center was her father's desk. It seemed so large compared to her small seven-year old size. Suki snuck around it and hid behind it. Bohdin will never catch me now, she thought.

A few minutes had passed when she heard footsteps enter the room. It couldn't be Bohdin, she thought to herself. He would never come into Father's study. Bohdin was not the adventurous, dare-devil that she was. Suki maneuvered her position and popped her head up to see who had come in. As quick as she was up, she went back down. It was her father.

How do I get out? Those words were ringing through her mind along with an alarming sense of fear. If her father found out that she was here, she would be in very big trouble. Looking around, she realized there was no reasonable escape route, so she kept quiet hoping that he would leave soon.

"How soon can you get it done?" Mr. Toshihiro said. He had his phone up to his ear and was staring out the window from his office, looking down at the city below him.
"Well get it done!" He barked. "He caused harm to our business. I want him taken care of. Understand?" There was a pause. "Good. Finish it tonight. I want him dead."

He turned off his phone at the exact second that Suki moved.

"Suki?" He said, his voice much calmer than when he was on the phone. "Come out."

"I'm sorry, Father! I didn't mean to hear your conversation. I wasn't sneaking around, we were just playing a game! I swear-"

"Enough." He said angrily. "You know the rules. You are not to 'play' in my office! You are not to come into my office at all!" He paused. "You are too old to be playing games, as well."

Suki looked down. "I am sorry, Father."

"It was my fault, Mr. Toshihiro-sama!" Bohdin came running into the room. "It was my fault! I said we should play the game. Don't punish Suki-san!"

"Your fault? Were you the one who came into my office?"

"No, sir. It was my fault she did go into your office though, Sir."

"Well I have decided. You will receive no punishment, Suki. Instead, you will no longer be allowed to 'play'. You will come to work with me and learn. You are to take over the business when you are older, anyway." He turned toward Bohdin. "You may go, boy."

Bohdin gave Suki a sympathetic look. "Yes, sir. Bye, Suki." He said, turned, and left.

Silence radiated through the room.
"Why do you disobey me so often?" Mr. Toshihiro mumbled to himself.

"Who was that on the phone, Papa?"

Her father sighed, not wanting to take out his anger on his only daughter: his only child.
"It was... a Business partner. You will meet him today. You will also meet another man who is a very bad man. He stole from us and was plotting to take down our business."

"What are you going to do with him?"

"Kill him."

...................................................................................................

"Bohdin-hoshi?"

"Yes, Esho?"

"Does her father really kill people?"

"Yes. He was the cause of many deaths. He had shot people himself, as well as given the order for people to be shot. He was a bad man..." Bohdin trailed off and looked back at Suki.

"What?" Esho asked.

"Well... I wonder if she would have turned out the way she did if she had her mother still by her side." He paused and looked back at Esho who was eager to hear more.

I had kept in touch over the years; but the next time I actually saw her, we were both sixteen, he began.
...................................................................................................

Suki was walking down the street in the city, heading toward a large building that belonged to her father. It was nearing five o'clock, and Suki wanted to be anywhere but her destination. Sadly on her part, she could not refuse the visit to the esteemed Maple Leaf Hotel where her father and other colleagues were waiting.

"Good evening, Miss Toshihiro-san," said the doorman as he let her in. She nodded and smiled to him in reply and quickly made her way up the elevator to the penthouse. Inside, her father and a man were waiting along with an unknown person sitting in a chair. The man in the chair was badly bruised and was drifting in and out of consciousness.

"What is it now?" Suki demanded.

"Now, now. Is that the way to greet your fellow colleagues?" Said her father's employee. His name was Hotaka, and he was very fearsome to behold. He was one of Mr. Toshihiro's strongest men, and by far the meanest of them, too.

"What do you want?" Suki said again, showing emotions to him.

"Aww come on Suki-chan! Be nice." He said jokingly to tease her.

"Do not call me that."

"Enough." Her father said. "There is work to be done." The man in the chair began to stir. "He needs to be dealt with. Would you like to do the honors, Suki?"

Mr. Toshihiro had been using Suki to do a lot of his dirty work lately, and for fear of her life, she had done as he asked. She still had nightmares from one of her last jobs. She had to torture a man for information, and it was not an appealing thing to witness.

"Fine." She said coldly. She grabbed the gun from behind her back and shot the man in cold-blood. It was over in seconds and not as dramatic as how movies make it. It was a loud noise and then nothing. The man was sitting one second and still sitting the next, just in a different position; it was as if he had not died at all. "Who was he?" She asked while putting her gun away.

"A man that had to be dealt with." Her father answered: the same answer he said every time she asked.

"Fine. Don't tell me. I am leaving." She turned and left.

Suki stormed out of the hotel in a hurry and rushed down the side walk, right into a pedestrian.
"I am so sorry!"

"It's nothing..." The boy said back to her and paused. "Suki-san? It's Bohdin!"

"Bohdin-san! How are you?"

"I'm good, and you?"

"I'm okay." She said quietly.

"It's been years since I have seen you," he said. "But I can still tell when you are lying to me. What's going on?"

"A lot. Too much sometimes. I tell myself that I'll be strong. I-I just don't know if I can be anymore."

CC:Skin, eyes, clothes, store items
Plot Point:Mysterious Past
Word Count:1,481
Hero Subtype: The Atoner
Picture Amount: 13
Excerpt: "I tell myself that I'll be strong."

(**Hoshi is a Japanese Honorific used to identify with Buddhist Monks
Any other name ending (e.g. -San, -Chan, etc.) are also honorifics, but they are more common)

26th Jun 2012, 06:16 PM	#51
LifesLover Forum Resident Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 721 Thanks: 108 in 2 Posts 7 Achievements	Good to know, thanks for the answer, everyone!
	The Foundational Building Social Group [you say you believe me but you don't deceive me]

26th Jun 2012, 11:42 PM	#52
Melibee1323 Test Subject Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 47	thankyou for the answer Heaven :D OMG i finally finished my first chapter, but I went 48 words over the limit Is that okay or should I go through it and delete some stuff? so frustrating ~edit~ I went through it and now I am 7 words over
Melibee1323 Test Subject Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 47	"Don't mistake coincidence for fate." ~Mr. Eko, LOST

27th Jun 2012, 12:39 AM	#53
Buckley Scholar Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,175 Thanks: 1602 in 11 Posts 11 Achievements	I know how you feel Melibee. I'm way over on my word count too. You'll have to find seven words to remove though, unless you want to get ducked some points under the "rule adherence" category. At least you only have 7 words to cut. You don't even want to know how far over I am... Haha.
	Chronicles Of The McKinley Clan

27th Jun 2012, 05:32 AM	#55
LifesLover Forum Resident Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 721 Thanks: 108 in 2 Posts 7 Achievements	Yes, I'm only about eighteen words under the cut-off limit for my story. Just have to make the pictures. I find that if you go through your story, you'll find some words that are just superfluous. Did you really need to add 'he said' that one extra time? Or maybe that again and again and again, that last again should be taken off. Also, take a look through your story. If you find a description that took a couple of words, try a thesaurus and see if you can find one word that encompasses those couple of words. But I'd definitely find a way to cut those 7 words out. There's no reason to lose points in rule adherence for just 7 words. As for if you have quite a bit more than 7, maybe try seeing if you can cut a scene out and add that scene to the next round. While trying to take my pictures today, my game decided it wanted to crap out on the graphics and now my Sims seem a little more pixelly than before. Has anyone had this problem? I changed my graphics to high for Sim detail but I have a great computer, it should handle it perfectly fine. In fact, it was handling it perfectly fine, right until I took my Sim out of the CAH and into the world. And the closer I get, the more the pixels seem to show up.
	The Foundational Building Social Group [you say you believe me but you don't deceive me]

27th Jun 2012, 05:53 AM	#56
SeeMyu Scholar Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 1,363 Thanks: 16411 in 40 Posts 27 Achievements View My Journal	yay! New people! I can't wait to see everyone's stories!
	Machinimas\|Facebook\|My Novel "Writing is all about disregarding the fact that you don't know what you're doing, never will, and are convinced that every other writer does." - Lauren DeStefano

27th Jun 2012, 05:56 AM	#57
ReyaD Theorist Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 2,534 Thanks: 220 in 5 Posts 7 Achievements	I feel bad now for having been so under the word limit! Heaven, you said when you extended the deadline that those who already posted could edit our entries until that date?
	TS3 Pose Directory! Sabo Random Legacy Currently completed through 8 generations. Sari Random Legacy Currently in progress.

27th Jun 2012, 06:45 AM	#58
ForeverCamp Scholar Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 1,031 Thanks: 95 in 3 Posts 7 Achievements View My Journal	LOL I had to trim down multiple times for mine. "Okay... don't really need that sentence... DAMN still 25 words... cut that.... DAMN another 15... GAH I CAN'T POSSIBLY CUT ANYTHING MORE!... Oh, wait, how about that?... does a little happy dance Yay, two words under the max!"
	Follow the Thorpe Legacy here! The Pleasantview Files, an online information site for my Pleasantview legacy.

27th Jun 2012, 06:48 AM	#59
Qnshr5 Test Subject Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 54 1 Achievements	Oooo... I want to do this. I already have a story I could use for this, too. But trying to decide if I can write two stories at once since I'm already in the middle of a sims story. ...Hmmm, I think I could do it. The formats and styles are different enough that I don't think I'd have a big issue with juggling. I'll work on both until the 4th and if I don't have any real problems, then I'm in.

27th Jun 2012, 04:24 PM	#61
LifesLover Forum Resident Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 721 Thanks: 108 in 2 Posts 7 Achievements	Okay, that's a load off my mind. And, lol, I actually did call it CAS when I first wrote that, but then I thought, oh, wait, it says create a household now, maybe I should change it. I will remember now.
	The Foundational Building Social Group [you say you believe me but you don't deceive me]

27th Jun 2012, 05:40 PM	Lol #62
myforbes Test Subject Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 2 1 Achievements	The president guy on the fake game cover sort of looks like Adele...
	Last edited by heaven : 27th Jun 2012 at 08:19 PM.

27th Jun 2012, 08:21 PM	#64
Ghost sdoj Site Helper Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 5,606 Thanks: 77 in 1 Posts 6 Achievements View My Journal	Does removing a plumbob/skill bar count as photoshopping? It took forever to get the sims lined up properly for a shot, and I couldn't find a camera angle that kept them in anything like the right pose and still hid the skill bars and the plumbob. And I'm not patched high enough to use the pose player, so I have to find poses I can catch on my own. (I stopped patching with 1.24. )
	I am Ghost. My husband (who made the account because I was too shy) is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count. Group for Avatar Makers******** My 2012 Yearbook entry Come visit Custom Sims 3!

27th Jun 2012, 08:27 PM	#65
LifesLover Forum Resident Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 721 Thanks: 108 in 2 Posts 7 Achievements	Use hideHeadlineEffects on to get rid of thought bubbles, plumbobs, and skill bars while in game.
	The Foundational Building Social Group [you say you believe me but you don't deceive me]

27th Jun 2012, 09:07 PM	#66
Ghost sdoj Site Helper Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 5,606 Thanks: 77 in 1 Posts 6 Achievements View My Journal	Thanks. I had been trying the Sims 2 version of the command, so I thought they had removed it. (That wouldn't surprise me much.)
	I am Ghost. My husband (who made the account because I was too shy) is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count. Group for Avatar Makers******** My 2012 Yearbook entry Come visit Custom Sims 3!

27th Jun 2012, 09:20 PM	#67
Melibee1323 Test Subject Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 47	Thankyou for the advice! Im hopefully going to be releasing the chapter tomorrow or the next day. I am almost done with all of the pictures, and I finished the writing portion a while ago. Now to see where each of my jumbled up mess of pictures fits
Melibee1323 Test Subject Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 47	"Don't mistake coincidence for fate." ~Mr. Eko, LOST

28th Jun 2012, 04:11 AM	#68
LifesLover Forum Resident Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 721 Thanks: 108 in 2 Posts 7 Achievements	You're welcome! I knew there was a cheat that did it but I couldn't remember which, so I just used the help command in Sims 3.
	The Foundational Building Social Group [you say you believe me but you don't deceive me]

28th Jun 2012, 11:17 PM	#69
Melibee1323 Test Subject Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 47	Yay! I am ready to post my first chapter. Now to figure out a title...
Melibee1323 Test Subject Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 47	"Don't mistake coincidence for fate." ~Mr. Eko, LOST

28th Jun 2012, 11:50 PM	#70
Melibee1323 Test Subject Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 47	Okay here is my story I hope I put this in right. I am going to put it in a spoiler so it takes up less space on the thread :D This is a different Genre for me (normaly I am all Sci-fi, but this is more realistic), so I hope it turns out okay
Melibee1323 Test Subject Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 47	"Don't mistake coincidence for fate." ~Mr. Eko, LOST
	Last edited by Melibee1323 : 29th Jun 2012 at 10:47 PM.

29th Jun 2012, 12:29 AM	#71
Misanthrope Instructor Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 543 Thanks: 580 in 4 Posts 8 Achievements	Yay, someone who uses spoiler quotes! xD Maybe it's just because I have terribly slow Internet, but I hate it when I visit a page, and it's bogged down by hundreds of pictures.
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29th Jun 2012, 08:54 AM	#72
LadyAwesome Scholar Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,367 Thanks: 232 in 4 Posts 8 Achievements	Sad day.... I cant open the sims I am going to try re install and hope it works
	Official Foundation Challange Contestant. R1-R2-R3-R4 BLOGGER A Random Legacy - Vasher

29th Jun 2012, 10:46 PM	#73
Melibee1323 Test Subject Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 47	@Misanthrope Yeah I hate when my computer freezes up because of pictures too! I mean i am fine when people do it, but I feel like its easier to scroll down and see other posts when its in a spoiler :D @LadyAwesome : That sucks! I had that happen to me before we got the new computer few years ago. ALL of my stuff was fried. couldnt even save all of my cc to a flash drive to get it onto the new computer. I lost everything. Hopefully you can get everything back
Melibee1323 Test Subject Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 47	"Don't mistake coincidence for fate." ~Mr. Eko, LOST

30th Jun 2012, 01:49 PM	#74
Ghost sdoj Site Helper Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 5,606 Thanks: 77 in 1 Posts 6 Achievements View My Journal	/me hugs Lady Awesome I hope reinstalling worked for you. I hadn't thought of spoiler tags, but that seems like a good idea.
	I am Ghost. My husband (who made the account because I was too shy) is sidneydoj. I post, he downloads, and I wanted to keep my post count. Group for Avatar Makers******** My 2012 Yearbook entry Come visit Custom Sims 3!

2nd Jul 2012, 03:48 AM	#75
heaven Original Poster Princess of Procrastination Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 2,181 Thanks: 11584 in 27 Posts 25 Achievements	Gosh, I am SO glad I extended the application round. We're still 6 people shy of the minimum number. Hope that it is going well for all of you who are working on an entry. And, if you're lurking but not saying anything, welcome! We won't bite...hard. Just a nibble. Or two. :D
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