View Full Version : Tara's Choice
24th Apr 2007, 12:21 AM
This story is meant to be read as a diary so there is very little if any dialog in it. I hope you enjoy it.
Hi, This is me Tara Harper. I'm 15 and a Freshmen at Evermore High. My mother and I just moved here from the big city in hopes to start life as more laid back people. We have been here for almost a month now and so far things are going great. I have a few friends in school but no one too special, and deffinetly not any boyfriends. Mom would die if she thought I was interested in boys. I was a tomboy as a child but now I'm getting older. Boys don't have cooties to me anymore, and there are a few guys in my classes that are rather cute or hot per say. If only they would notice me.
Last night I got invited to a party, It was so cool and there were a lot of hot guys there from school and even some from the local college. I couldnt believe it but one was even interested in me. Well interested enough to spend most of the night following me around. He was so nice got me drinks all night and was so sweet to me. I'm pretty sure his name was Corey but with everything going on it was hard to remember and I did have quite a few drinks that night. I was so drunk I passed out at the guys house who was throwing the party. My friend Katie had to call my mom and tell her that I was sleeping over at her house and that I had fallen asleep watching a movie and she didn't want to wake me. I cant believe mom bought it.
Ive been thinking a lot about Corey for the past few days. Katie says he is good friend of her boyfriend Mason. She said he had been asking about me a few days after the party and wanted to see me again. The only problem is he is 19 and there is no way mom would allow me to go out with a college student. So Katie helped me come up with a plan to tell mom that I was going to her house this weekend and then we would go take a drive to Mason and Cory's apartment. I'm so scared I'm not really sure how to act or what not. Sometimes I feel like just a dumb little kid.
I got home from my long weekend around 2pm today. I had a great time Friday and Saturday night. Corey is such a great guy. We ended up crashing at the apartment Friday night. We were talking and drinking and just having a great time but it got late and we all ended up falling asleep. Me and Corey even slept in his bed. Nothing happened although I really wished it would have. Corey is such a great guy and I feel so special when I'm with him. I feel like he knows me better than anyone, even Katie.
Ive seen Cory a few times since the night at their apartment. He sometimes shows up after school and walks to my block with me. He usually doesn't go to the house unless I know mom wont be home. We never want to take the chance that we could get caught together. Today has been such a horrible day. I didn't want to wake up for school at all and when I got home I feel asleep on the couch. I think I'm getting the flu or some kind of bug. I even turned down dinner tonight my stomach just doesn't feel like it can handle food. Mom said If I'm not better by the end of the week she will take me to the doctor.
24th Apr 2007, 12:26 AM
This looks good! Can't wait to see what happens! :anime:
24th Apr 2007, 2:01 AM
Thanks I'm going to try to get a few chapters up tonight.
24th Apr 2007, 2:19 AM
Tara's life seems pretty interesting at this stage.
24th Apr 2007, 3:30 AM
Ok this one is a little short I'm sorry but I was running out of picture ideas to describe this part. I promise the next one will be longer.
I missed school today because I was so sick. Mom doesn't know it yet but I have been throwing up all morning. She left for work before I got up so I made her call into school for me from work. I don't think she was very happy. I looked on the calender today and I was suposed to start my period last week but I think its thrown off because I'm so sick. Mom said she got me an appointment with the family doctor tomorrow. I hope they can give me something for this because its just nasty.
MY LIFE IS RUINED!!! I have no idea what happened or how it happened but somehow I'm pregnant. I'm still a virgin so it doesn't make sense to me. They have to be wrong. How in the world could I get pregnant before having sex. Lucky for me the doctors called and I answered the phone before mom could get to it. I told her they said I just had the flu. They said my HCG levels were over 700 whatever that means. I don't understand anything going on. Ive never ever had sex how in the world could I be pregnant? The test had to be wrong, there is no way its right? Can it be right? Oh diary what do I do? What will mom do? Who is the father? Oh so many questions my mind is spinning I think I'm going to take a nap.
Well I made it to Monday without mom thinking anything suspicious about what is going on with me. I did a lot of sleeping but I had to suck it up today. I actually didn't make it through the first half of the day without ending up in the nurses office. She asked me why I came to school if I was so sick but I couldnt afford to miss any more school. She gave me a bottle of ginger ale and some crackers and let me lay down. By 4th period I was feeling a bit better. I went to Algebra class and daydreamed most of the class. I didn't even hear the bell ring for B Lunch until Mrs. Burton shook me back to life. She asked if I was ok and I just told her I wasn't feeling well. She didn't look like she believed me but I ran out of class before she could even second guess it. At lunch I didn't touch any food, even though they were having my favorite, pizza. The rest of the day seemed to just drift by without me. Even the walk home with Cory wasn't as fun as it usually is. I thought maybe when we were drunk something could have happened and I didn't remember. So I got the guts to ask him. He looked me straight in the eyes held my hands and said "Of course not hunny I would never think of doing something so personal with you and have you not remember it. When we do have sex I want you to remember it because it will be the best night of your life." What answer could be more perfect than that? I don't know all I know is I'm pregnant and I have no idea how it happened.
24th Apr 2007, 4:46 AM
so how did she get pregnant? just can not help guessing...
24th Apr 2007, 5:03 AM
Oooh looks interesting. You've got me curious as to what's going to happen next!
24th Apr 2007, 5:03 AM
24th Apr 2007, 5:58 PM
Sorry I have been gone for so long. The whole morning sickness and first trimester of pregnancy has been killing me. I sleep so much its not even funny. Lucky for me with Christmas being so close mom has been picking up more shifts so we can have a good Christmas she hasn't been home when I get out of school. So I go straight to sleep after eating something if I can stomach it. There have been a few times she has acted concerned about how I'm feeling but I just blamed it on stress at school and homework. For that matter my homework has been slacking pretty bad because of all this. Katie helps me sometimes if I'm in the nurses office and I miss a class or 2. The doctors have been trying to call and set up appointments but I just let them go to the machine and then erase them. I cant let mom find out about this. Nurse Campbell and I have become pretty good friends over the past 5 weeks. I even trusted her with my secret last week. She promised she wouldn't tell anyone but she wanted to make sure I was seeing a doctor so I told her I would call the doctor and then find a way to get there and she said she would drive me to my appointment. She is such a nice lady.
Christmas was nice. We had a small family Christmas just me and mom oh and Katie later that night after she got home from her grandmas. Me and mom exchanged gifts. She got me a very nice pink sweater and leggings set. It was big enough I might get to wear it once or twice before I'm too big to fit in it. I got mom a new Christmas ornament like I get her every year. This year it was one a little more personal. It was a picture frame and I put a picture of me and mom in there from Christmas the year I turned 7. That was the year that dad left, only 2 weeks before Christmas. It devastated mom and she cried for weeks. Thats why we usually spend Christmas alone or with very close friends. This was our first holiday here and mom wanted to make it special for me so she let me invite Katie. So we made popcorn and watched Its a Wonderful Life in our pj's until we all crashed on the living room floor. I love Christmas. Its weird to think next year Ill have my own baby to spend it with.
Well Christmas break is almost over and it has been so uneventful so I didn't even bother to write in you until tonight. I saw Corey at Katie's tonight and he gave me the most adorable gold locket with his picture in it. Then we took a walk and ended up back at his apartment. We watched a little tv and talked about some things, then he took me back into his bedroom. We started making out and he is such a great kisser. Things got so good and one thing led to another and for the first time we actually had sex. Part of me wishes I would have gotten pregnant that night instead of some unknown night that meant nothing. Here I am laying with the man I love with all my heart and I'm carrying some other guys baby. This Just isn't right.
Today has been an eventful day. I woke up and got ready for school and actually didn't get sick and could eat breakfast at home instead of sneaking crackers in classes so I didn't have to use up my bathroom passes. The worst thing happened this morning though. My jeans don't fit anymore. There was no denying it now I was starting to look pregnant. So I found an old pair of stretch pants and a plain t shirt. Even in that I looked quite large. I looked at myself in the mirror and almost cried. I would never show my face at school in something like this. I wondered what people would say but I didn't have time to think much because I was going to be late for school.
I got to homeroom 5 minutes late because of my clothing drama. Katie looked at me with wide eyes as I walked in. During class she wrote me a note Tara what is going on with you, and what are you wearing? I was kinda mad she would question me so I wrote back Mom didn't get a chance to do laundry this is all I had. She gave me an evil eye and wrote back Yeah right Tara, really please tell me what is going on. So I decided I should tell her, after all she is my best friend. Katie I'm pregnant! I could see the look of shock on her face so when she wrote back Is it Corey's? I knew I had to write her the whole story. So we talked back and forth all day in notes. And I got stared at by every kid in the hallway just whispering about me. I'm not sure what they were saying but it didn't look to be anything nice.
24th Apr 2007, 6:27 PM
I feel so bad for her. I really don't trust Corey. Something's fishy! Good job!
24th Apr 2007, 7:50 PM
I'm kinda with Stormy here...somthing just sounds fishy! But that just means I wanna know what happens! :D Great job!
24th Apr 2007, 8:01 PM
Hmmmm, I wonder who else could possibly be the father? Post more soon please!
25th Apr 2007, 12:59 AM
I called the doctors yesterday and they are going to see me tomorrow at 2:15. Which means I have to skip my 6th hour class. I hate history anyway so I guess its not that big of a deal. I figure after 5th hour I will just walk out the back doors. There is only one classroom back there and I'm pretty sure no one teaches in it at all in the afternoon. I wanted to tell Mrs. Campbell about my appointment but I was too scared that she would say something about me skipping class so I figured I would just walk to the clinic. Its only a few blocks from the school and from there I could go to Corey's apartment and spend the day with him. Mom already thinks I'm staying at Katie's to study after school and that I wont be home until late. I really think she is getting suspicious of something. All we have been doing is arguing and going to bed angry with each other. Like tonight, after i write in you I'm going to bed because she is on a rampage tonight yelling at me for everything.
Well the doctor says I'm about 16 weeks pregnant and doing good other than not taking a prenatal vitamin so she gave me a big bottle of them and says they will last me the rest of my pregnancy. They taste nasty and almost make me want to throw up. The doctor also says my due date is July 12. Then they gave me some paperwork and told me to take it to the hospital right after I left there for some tests and blood work. I also got an ultrasound done. It was kinda neat to see the baby inside of me moving around. The tech told me that I should be able to feel he or she move in a few weeks. The thought of something inside of me moving around and being able to feel it seems kinda alien like to me. She said she would like to tell me the baby's sex but it was in the wrong position and she couldnt be certain if it was a boy or a girl. I got pictures of the baby printed out for me and put them in their own little paper picture frame. I put it in my purse so no one would see them. Walking to Corey's place I thought a lot to myself. I knew if I went there he would want to have more sex and the way my belly is growing he would notice that I'm pregnant. I turned around and went to Katie's instead. I didn't know how to explain it but for some reason I just didn't want to see him. I didn't want to have to tell him that I was pregnant with someone else's baby.
Well today is the day I have to tell mom. I cant fit into any of my clothes anymore and I'm just getting so sick of hiding from everyone. I'm so stressed out that someone from school is going to call mom before I get a chance to tell her and I don't want her to find out that way so when she gets home from the store today I'm going to tell her.
Well my life is even more ruined than I thought it was. Mom freaked out on me and yelled at me and told me that I was a disgrace to her and to my family. She asked who the father was and when I tried to explain to her that I had no idea how I got pregnant and I had no idea who the father was. She didn't even try to listen to me all she did was accuse me of lying and called me names and then told me to get out of her house. She said she didn't want a tramp like me living under her roof and that she wasn't going to take care of my illegitimate child. The worst part of it all was I could smell alcohol on her breath. Mom used to have a drinking problem when she was with dad and it really got bad when he left. I had no idea that mom had been drinking again and I feel horrible that its my fault and that I pushed her over the edge. So now I'm waiting for Katie's dad to come pick me up so I can stay with her for a few days until I can figure something else out.
25th Apr 2007, 1:05 AM
Well Ive been at Katie's for a week now and as much as I love her dad I'm starting to feel like Ive overstayed my welcome. Mr. Keller gave Katie money to take me clothes shopping. It was a lot of fun but I felt so bad that I was taking so much from them. So when we sat down to eat at the Pizza Palace for lunch I told Katie I wanted her to help me start looking for my own place to live. She freaked out and asked me how I was going to afford it and how was I going to get a job only being 15 and all of those questions like I figured she would. So I told her about money in a bank account my mom had for me to go to college with that I could use to get an apartment in town not too far from school and then I can get working papers and work at McDonalds or something like that. She didn't think it was a good idea but I begged her to help me and she caved.
I found an apartment that I was able to put down a security deposit on (with help from Mr. Keller) He also payed for my first 3 months rent so I could save up my money for things for the baby and for food. He didn't want me to leave but he understood that I needed to do it on my own. I haven't talked to Corey in 2 weeks and I wonder if he is worried about me. I think that I'm going to invite him over on Friday and tell him about everything going on. I'm nervous about it but I guess the worst thing he can say is that he doesn't want to see me anymore. I guess sine I'm not really seeing him now it wouldn't be that bad if he said he hated me. I just really hope that maybe he wants to help me out. Maybe he will forgive me for getting pregnant by someone else. Its all a bunch of maybes.
Well Corey didn't take the news as well as I thought he would. He got here and I opened the door and he just looked me up and down and said "What the H***, how did this happen?" It made me feel really bad that he acted that way. So I explained to him and he freaked out on me like my mom did. Called me names and told me he thought I was a whore and that I cheated on him that he never wanted to see me again. I guess its not that bad but now its like I have no one. I have myself alone in my own place. Katie comes over every day after school and spends time with me and every weekend she said she is going to stay with me since the neighborhood gets a bit scary with partying and things like that. So I was lucky enough she was here when Corey freaked out and she let me cry on her shoulder.
Things have been getting so hard lately. I work at McDonalds in the mall every day right after school until 10pm. I get home and do what homework I have and go straight to bed. Weekends are spent with Katie working on homework again and shopping for some baby things that I can afford. Her dad wants to help throw me a baby shower but I have no one to invite so he says he wants to buy the baby's furniture for me. I tried to tell him no but he insisted and had some beautiful stuff delivered to my place today. Me and Katie have been working for hours setting it all up. We just got done putting everything together and the baby's nursery looks so beautiful. I wanted so hard to do this on my own but its so much harder than I thought.
25th Apr 2007, 2:38 AM
This is awesome. I can't get enough. You are talented. I'm subscribing. :)
[best wishes to your baby boy]
25th Apr 2007, 3:54 AM
Thanks he is doing great. Probably coming home soon :) I will probably get one or 2 more chapters up tonight, I'm going into my game on my desktop to take pictures for the next chapter.
25th Apr 2007, 4:26 AM
I like this story so much, and look forward to reading more
25th Apr 2007, 5:23 AM
Well diary only 3 more months to go until my little one makes its entry into the world. I tried to call my mom last week but she never answered. Katie says she saw her at the grocery store on Saturday but she didn't look good. I'm worried about her but I'm not sure what I can do for her. I guess she still just needs time. I have to go and get medicade and WIC tomorrow. I might even try to get on food stamps because the extra money might help in the long run. I spend almost 70 bucks on food for me alone. I really didn't want to go on assistance but its better than starving. WIC also has something set up for me to have someone come to the apartment every week and talk to me. She is also coming for the first time tomorrow. I'm really kind of nervous about it.
Well the lady from WIC is very nice. She said that most teens that she sees who are pregnant and living on their own seem to be far off more worse than I am. We talked a bit about my financial situation and she told me that the state would be able to help me pay for food and maybe even help pay for rent with cash assistance. I was accepted for WIC today also and got vouchers for milk, eggs, juice and a lot of stuff that normally costs me a lot of money. The lady from WIC asked about the baby's father today too. I didn't know what to say so I told her that he denied the baby was his and I haven't seen him since. I feel bad for lying but I didn't want to tell her I didn't know who my baby's father was. If I did she might act the same way mom did and call me a tramp and other mean names.
Yesterday I had such a scare. I was at work when I started getting really bad pains like cramps. I went to the bathroom and I noticed I was bleeding so I told my manager I had to go home because I wasn't feeling well. I called Katie from work and had her dad come get me and take me to the hospital. They hooked me up to all kinds of monitors and things and did another ultrasound which showed the baby was ok and the heart was still beating but they said I had something called Marginal Placenta Previa. The doctor said that I may need to have a C section when its time to have the baby and that I need to be on complete bed rest until he or she is born. (they still could not tell the sex of the baby) Katie's dad said that he could help pay my rent until I can go back to work. He asked me to move back in with them but I said I had to take care of things on my own so he agreed to let Katie come over every day after school to give me my homework and help me around the house. I came home today and slept most of the day and I think I'm headed back to bed for the night.
Tomorrow is my birthday and I turn 16. Katie says she is going to bring over every Leonardo Di Caprio movie she could rent and we were going to stay up all night watching movies and snacking on all sorts of food that any non pregnant person would have to spend weeks working off. I was kinda hoping I would get to see my mom for my birthday but Katie says she hasn't seen her around and that the house almost looks deserted. From the sound of it moms doing really bad, I just know she is drinking too much again and that she is going to hurt herself if she keeps doing it. I was thinking of making Katie's dad drive me over there so I could talk to her but Katie said it probably wasn't a good idea and it might just make matters worse. So I let it go.
Today was the worst birthday of my life. Katie came over at noon (her dad let her skip school just for today) and brought pizza and all sorts of goodies. We sat down and watched some soap operas together and munched on pizza and chips and drank soda like there was not a worry in the world. Then there was a knock on the door. Katie got up to answer it and there was a police officer standing there. He asked if she was Tara Harper and of course she said she wasn't and I came waddling to the door. The cop looked at me and asked how old I was and I told him that today was my 16th birthday. He asked why I was living alone and I explained that my mother kicked me out when I told her I was pregnant. He said that it was wrong and illegal and I thought for sure he was going to arrest me and take me to jail and then he said the words that pierced my heart. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this miss but it seems that your mother was murdered early this morning."
25th Apr 2007, 5:42 AM
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I feel so bad for her. I hope she's going to be ok. It;s good that she's got such nice people looking after her though.
(and I hope your baby is doing well too ^^)
25th Apr 2007, 7:10 PM
Ok this chapter is short but I promise the next chapter will be up in a few hours and it will make up for it.
Things have been so hard the past few days. Since I'm on bed rest and cant leave the house Katie's dad has had to do everything with my mom for me. From what it looked like my mom had gone out the a bar and met a man. They had a few drinks and she invited him back to the house. They think that it was that man who raped and killed her. They had no leads on who the man was and until the autopsy was done we could not lay my mother to rest. I have tried to find a way to get a hold of dad but no one knows where he is. Everything just seems to be a dead end no matter where I turn. They made me go to the morgue and identify her and sign some papers and things like that since I was the only child and relative that they could find. The police decided not to send me to a foster home and instead sent the paperwork to a judge to emancipate me which would make me legally and adult. The police said it could take up to 6 months to process the request and then go to court for it. In that time I am to do what I can to prove that I can live on my own and provide for myself. So despite doctors orders I'm going back to work next week. Thats the only way to prove that I can support myself and my baby. Im still going to stay home from school and then at 3pm Katie's dad will drive me to work and then at 10 pick me up and take me home. So I will still be taking it easy and I have a note saying I cant lift anything over 5lbs. So I will work and try to keep myself alive and try to prove that I can take care of myself.
Today was moms funeral. Mr. Keller set it all up for me so I didn't have to do a thing but go to it. It was a nice service but it was really hard to see mom like that. It was nice to have Katie there and her dad there. Also Corey showed up and came up to me and gave me a hug and told me how sorry he was for everything that has happened and that he wants to help me the best way he can. He said he got a job working in a garage and he would help me pay for as much as he could. He asked me to move in with him but I told him no. I said that I had to do things on my own as much as I could. I did however agree to let him pay half my rent every month since his job pays a lot more than mine does. He also asked me to allow him to come over and make me dinner Saturday night. Since I get out of work early I said yes. I have missed him and have wanted to be with him so bad but I was so scared that he hated me. Now I feel like life might go back to something normal again.
Saturday was such a nice day. Corey came over around 4 and with 2 big brown grocery bags and cooked up a storm. I cant tell you what it is he made but it had noodles and chicken and was so good. We talked about things and life. I found out he was trying to save the money for a house and was looking to get a job as an engineer. He said he wasn't seeing anyone and was hoping that maybe we could start seeing each other again. At first I was skeptical but then he kissed me and my knees buckled and my heart and stomach was all flutters. It just felt right to be kissing him. We fell asleep on the couch together just like old times.
25th Apr 2007, 7:30 PM
Poor girl, there's so much happening to her in such a short period of time. I'm a little skeptical about Corey, but that's just my intuition. I really hope he doesn't blow up on her again!
25th Apr 2007, 10:37 PM
ohhmygod!! i just read this
IT IS SO AWSOME
Corey might not be the fater =O it might have been someone else while she was passed out the first time
25th Apr 2007, 10:41 PM
This poor girl! She's going through way too much right now! I hope she carries out the pregnancy well with the stress and all. Great update!
25th Apr 2007, 11:56 PM
This morning I woke up with really bad pains in my stomach. They were so bad I felt like throwing up. It was so bad I passed out on the bathroom floor. Lucky for me Corey came by and found me and took me to the hospital. They did tests and told me that I was in labor and that they were going to keep me until the baby was born. So I just got my epidural and now I'm feeling good. It doesn't hurt nearly as bad. So now I just wait until my little baby is born.
My sweet baby girl Kaylynn was born just over an hour ago and she is beautiful. She has the most gorgeous blue eyes. She was 6lbs 5oz and 19 inches long. She is such a great looking baby. She even has the lightest bit of blonde peach fuzz. She is adorable. I'm really tired tho but I will write more later.
Well we are going home today. Kaylynn has been doing so well. They thought she was kinda jaundice but her blood work was good today so they said she could come home with me. Corey is going to stay and help me out for a few weeks just so I don't have to be home alone with her. Katie is going to come and help out every day too. Kaylynn is going to grow up with a big extended family with Katie and Corey she will always have people around her that love her.
Things have been so crazy at home. Kaylynn is always crying, pooping, and eating. Its non stop with her. If its not one thing then its the other. Even with Corey's help I still don't get a lot of sleep at night and I get to shower once every 2 days if I'm lucky. She is so demanding. She gets fed every 2 to 3 hours and then has to be changed every 4 hours. I tried to breast feed her but my milk never came in and the Lactation nurse said that was due to me being so young. Sometimes I just really wished my mom was here to help me.
Today Kaylynn is a month old. I cant believe how big she is getting. She likes to lay on the floor and look at me and she giggles and even smiled for the first time today. As tired as I am taking care of her she is such a sweet angel. But I found out something today that ruined my whole day for me. Katie came over around 2 while Corey was at work. She picked up Kaylynn and started playing with her and turned to me and said something that didn't make sense to me. Tara I think Corey is Kaylynns father. I was so confused I didn't know what to say. I thought it was funny that she looked so much like him. She had his eyes and his hair color. It made sense but how did it happen. So Katie continues to tell me why she believes he is her father. She told me that the night of the party way back in October Mason and Corey had put something called GHB in our drinks that made us pass out and then they took advantage of us. She said Mason admitted it to her when she told him that I was pregnant. She said she was too scared to tell me and didn't think the baby could really be his after just one night. She said that I had been so distant from her she thought it might make things worse. I was upset at first with her and almost asked her to leave but then after I thought about it she didn't know any better and I was very distant from her. The only person I really had reason to be mad at was Corey.
26th Apr 2007, 12:44 AM
I knew something fishy was up! I want to kick Corey's butt! :swear: :rage: Great update by the way!
26th Apr 2007, 2:54 AM
I asked Corey to leave today. I decided not to call the cops on him but decided that he should leave. He denied the whole thing like I thought he would. So I told him that if he wasn't going to own up to using me then he had to go and to expect me to come after him for child support. He then went on to tell me he wont pay a single dime until I do a paternity test and all that crap. So I called the lady from WIC and asked her if she could tell me who to call for that kind of thing. She gave me a phone number and I got the test set up for tomorrow. I'm nervous because what if he really isn't the father. I have a gut feeling he is but there still could be the chance that he isn't.
Well the test confirmed it Corey is 99.98% not Kaylynn's father. I have no idea what to do now. I got rid of the only person in the world who loved me enough to help pay for things I really need. I have no way to pay for a babysitter for Kaylynn and because of that I cant work. Katie helps as much as she can but since she went away to summer camp I'm all alone. Now I don't know what to do, I literally have no one, not Corey, not Katie, not my mom. Sometimes I just feel like I want to die. Some how I have to figure out what happened to me. I have a sweet baby girl who needs me and a father. Now if only I knew who in the world that father could be.
Katie comes home from camp in 2 weeks. Kaylynn is getting bigger every day. She is getting so big that I had to buy new clothes for her. WIC barely covers what we need for food and in only a few months I'm going to have to start buying baby food for her. Katie's father helps me a little but I feel so horrible taking that kind of money from him. He has already done so much for me. For some reason I feel like I just need to leave this place and get my life straight away from everyone and everything that got me into this mess. I love Katie like a sister but if she wouldn't have asked me to go to that party back in October I never would have gotten pregnant, never would have gotten kicked out of my house, my mom never would have started drinking again and never would have gotten killed. I think I do need to leave the little town of Evermore and move on to bigger and better things.
26th Apr 2007, 3:31 AM
Great update! :anime: I just read your sig and I'm so sorry to hear about your baby! I'll definitely keep him in my prayers!
26th Apr 2007, 4:06 AM
Thanks hun, he is doing a lot better and probably coming home from the hospital in the next week or so. So now i need to get this story done before I have my hands full with him lol.
26th Apr 2007, 4:10 AM
Lol yeah i know what you mean. I have a lil one too. I usually work on my story when he's asleep (which isn't much) but hopefully you'll be lucky enough! Take your time with the story. We'll all understand!
26th Apr 2007, 4:11 AM
lol yeah well i want to be able to finish it, my last story didn't do so hot and this one seems to be getting a good response. I'm dead set on finishing it. I'm about to have another chapter written now i just need to get pictures.
26th Apr 2007, 11:18 PM
Great story Ferris! I hope everything works out for Tara
27th Apr 2007, 1:56 AM
Well Kaylynn and I got on a train with the 500 bucks I had to my name and went all the way to California. We stayed in a cheep motel for 2 days while I look for a job and a place to live. I was amazed to find a house for rent for only 450 a month. They wanted 100 for a deposit and that was it, we could move in immediately so on day 3 of being in Calli we moved into a small but cute 2 bedroom home. It had a nice fenced in yard for Kaylynn to play in when she got older and from the way things are I really think we will make it ok here.
I had a job interview today for a restaurant but I don't think it went very well. I had to take Kaylynn with me because I don't know anyone well enough to let them watch her. I have some nice neighbors. A middle age couple with 3 kids, a boy about my age and then two girls one looks about 7 or 8 and the other one about 3. Well at the interview all she did was scream her head off and it was really hard to answer questions and feed her at the same time. So we went to the Goodwill store and looked for some things for the house. All we really had were a few lamps and an old ratty chair that was left there. Oh and the sleeping bag I brought from home. I felt so bad I left everything including the wonderful nursery set Mr. Keller bought Kaylynn. At Goodwill I found some pretty nice things for cheap. A crib for Kaylynn, a couch, a cheep old tv, and a bed frame and mattress all for only 100 bucks. I had to pay 10 extra bucks to get it all delivered but it was worth it. Now my house is starting to look more like a home.
Today I was taking Kaylynn for a walk down the main strip in town and stopped to admire a nice dress in the window of a shop that looked really high class. I just kept thinking I would look so great in that dress. Well as I was standing there a man walked up to me and introduced himself as Mr. William Ford. He said that I was a very pretty girl and then looked in at Kaylynn and just gushed over how cute she was. We talked for a few minutes about Kaylynn and at first he thought she was my baby sister and when I explained to him that she was in fact my daughter he looked surprised. He asked me to go sit down with him and have some lunch and at the rate I was going with loosing money I took the offer. He took me to a nice high class restaurant and told me to order whatever I wanted. At first I felt bad but once the food was in my mouth I felt great. It was the best meal I have eaten in a long time. After talking to Will for a while he told me he owned a club up town. He said it was a nice little club and he was looking for pretty girls to come work there for him. The club opened at 5pm every night and payed 9 dollars an hour plus tips. He said the pay was good and so were the hours. At first I wasn't so sure but after talking a bit more it really seemed to be my only option and with that kind of money I could afford a nanny for Kaylynn. I took the job invitation and then he took some measurements of my body for my outfits and told me that I could start tomorrow night.
I never in my life imagined that I would be up on stage dancing for money but after working just one night I made 200 dollars. I cant get a job anywhere at my age that pays that well. With that kind of money I can work weekends and have enough money for rent in one weekend. So we had it set up that I would work Friday and Saturday nights until 1pm and then on Sundays I would work 5pm until 12pm. That way during the week I could be home to go to school. I wasn't sure if the school thing was going to work out but it was worth a try. So tomorrow morning I'm gong to go to the nearest school and try to enroll myself.
Well today went good at Riverdale High. They were able to enroll me to start school on the 25th of August and best of all they have a day care at the school I can bring Kaylynn to while I'm in classes. It sucks that I have to start over as a second year freshmen but it might give me a head start. I'm going to do good now. Going to stick to my studies and do the best I can do to make a life for me and Kaylynn.
27th Apr 2007, 6:26 AM
Uh-oh! I smell trouble! Tsk tsk! That's great that she was able to find a house for cheap though! :thumb:
27th Apr 2007, 3:10 PM
As long as the clothing stays on, she should be just fine ;) I'm glad she's making it on her own so far!! Hopefully it keeps going well!
28th Apr 2007, 12:11 AM
I'm used to people having updates on their first story entry that I haven't checked in a while, and wow you have updated a lot.
I love this story's progress, hopefully their future will be a better one here.
Your son is my thoughts :) Hope he is recovering well.
28th Apr 2007, 1:47 AM
im so glad Tara's life is getting better =)
this is such a great story!
28th Apr 2007, 8:08 AM
Is everything REALLY getting better? I hope so, anyway, no matter what is awaiting, I hope Tara will handle it well.
29th Apr 2007, 12:26 AM
I love this story. I got involved with a job like Tara's. It's bad news. Well I hope things look up for her. Great update! :)
29th Apr 2007, 2:11 AM
wow shes only a freshman?
well i hope things get better for her!
good story! i like.
1st May 2007, 1:19 AM
hey guys my son came home from the hospital today so things have been kinda crazy, I just got Celebration stuff and I will try to get an update up tomorrow.
1st May 2007, 1:46 AM
OMG IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR SON. I hope he is okay.
[don't worry about updating, take your time]
2nd May 2007, 5:58 AM
Oh, yay! That's great! I hope he's doing well! I'll continue to keep him in my prayers!
2nd May 2007, 6:04 AM
I'm glad your son's home now ^^ I hope he keeps doing well!
2nd May 2007, 11:56 AM
I LOVE the story!
6th May 2007, 5:47 AM
Today was my first day at Riverdale High. I dropped Kaylynn off at the daycare. It was such a neat place, they have a fenced in area outside for all the kids to play in. They have toys inside and 3 ladies there to take care of all the kids. Kaylynn is the youngest but I'm sure she will be ok. I didn't get much time to talk to the ladies that work there because I was running late but they seemed very nice. School was nice its a very nice school with an awesome courtyard. Theres a huge fountain right in the middle of it. They have great food which made my bagged lunch look like crap. I was kinda shy so I sat alone at lunch well until this really great girl Molly came and sat with me. We talked a bit and she told me how her father was the Dean of the local college and how she lived on a huge estate with horses and goes riding every weekend. She is pretty cool. I told her how I had just moved to California and that I have my own small home and a baby girl who is my life. I figured that since I told her the whole school would know by the end of the day but she kept it quiet.
Its been one week since school started and things are going great. Kaylynn is doing well in the day care, my job has been going good. I eat lunch with Molly everyday. We have become good friends. Today at lunch a very good looking dark haired boy walked by our table and smiled at me. His brown eyes made me melt all over inside. Molly said his name is Anthony Meeks. He plays on the schools hockey team and is really good. She said in December when they start playing again we would go watch. Somehow I don't think I can wait until December. I told her I wanted her to get me a date with him and she said she could talk to him in her first hour class tomorrow.
Anthony sat with us at lunch today. It was so awesome we talked like crazy, he is so nice and super cute. I decided to take a gamble and tell him about Kaylynn and showed him her picture and he was so supportive about it. He said he wanted to see her sometime and thought she was very adorable. In the break between 5th and 6th hour he came by my locker and gave me a note. I read it before the bell rang and it said to meet him after 6th hour by the bleachers. 6th hour seemed to drag on and on and on but finally the bell rang and I ran out to the bleachers. He was already standing there. He have me a hug and kiss on the cheek and asked me to go out with him Friday night. I'm so excited. He walked back with me to get Kaylynn and walked home with me. He said he couldnt stay because his mom was expecting him home but he looked forward to seeing me tomorrow at lunch. Oh diary how exciting. This is my first date is so long. Molly said we are going shopping tomorrow night so I can get all dressed up for him. Im so excited.
6th May 2007, 6:45 AM
How cute and exciting for her! I hope he turns out to be a really nice guy.
6th May 2007, 10:51 AM
YAY! things are starting to look up for Tara. *does happy dance*
8th May 2007, 2:48 AM
My date with Anthony went so well, he is such a good guy. He took me over to his house to meet his parents before we went out. Oh and to leave Kaylynn with their nanny who takes care of his younger sisters. His parents are really nice and they live in this huge house that looks like it has a million rooms. They have maids and butlers and all kinds of people who do stuff for them. They seem to like it there but I don't think I would. There is something I like about having my own freedom to take care of my own things. So anyway we went out to dinner then to a movie, then we went to get ice cream before we went back to his house. We stayed up talking and watching tv. I found out he is a Senior this year and is going to graduate in May. Then he is going to go to UCLA for school. Its going to suck when he leaves for college but at least he will only be like 2 hours away and It will be fun to take a road trip with Kaylynn and his family to see him. He is so good with her too. We ended up falling asleep on the couch and didn't wake up until 5am when Kaylynn started screaming. Anthony got up and fed her and let me go back to sleep. It was so sweet and It was nice have some help and get a chance to just roll over and go back to sleep for a change.
Today was such a crappy day. I went to work and when I was up on stage just about bumm naked the cops came in and closed us down. They took Mr. Ford into custody and took him and a few of us girls down to the police station. We were all let off and didn't get in any criminal trouble but Mr. Ford is going to jail for a long time because he recruited all of us and its illegal. So now I'm jobless. I have no idea how we are going to make things work. I cant ask Anthony for money because I would feel so bad and we haven't been together that long. So I figured tomorrow I would ask Molly to take me to the mall and I could try to find a job. Its nice having a friend who can drive. I feel bad because I make her take me everywhere. I just hate taking Kaylynn on the bus its kinda scary just for me.
I got a job working at a restaurant. Its not nearly as much money as I used to make and I have to work so many hours. I go to work right after school and i stay there until 10pm. Then I work weekends whatever shift they need me. Anthony has been so great with it all he volunteered to watch Kaylynn for me right after school and sometimes Molly gives him a break on the weekends. He doesn't push her off on the nanny either he actually plays with her and feeds her and takes care of her. I feel so bad for him sometimes though. Everyone at school makes fun of him and calls him Daddy and things like that. I hate that I'm taking away so much of his life. I talked to him some today since it was my first day off in a few days and I told him that I feel like he would be better off without me. He told me to be quiet and that he couldnt imagine his life without me now. He says that he loves me and Kaylynn so much and that if we were to go away he would be really upset. Sometimes I think its all too good to be true but its nice while it lasts.
Today things just got worse. My landlord called and said that her business is going in the hole and that the government is foreclosing all of her property and that we have a week to be out of the house. I'm so scared its not even funny. We are already scarping for every penny we got and now we have no where to go. I talked to Molly but her mom says they don't have room in their 2 bedroom condo to take on another teen and her baby. I thought about calling Anthony but I'm so scared to ask him for more help. He has done so much for us that I cant even think about asking for more. I thought about leaving and trying to find another home in a different city since I couldnt find one around here but they would all be too far from school and from work and I don't want to commute that far. Plus Kaylynn is finally adjusting to moving again and I don't want to take her away from the people who love her.
Well all of our things are in storage and we are at the local shelter for teen moms and pregnant teens. I think its a great things for people who need the help but i hate it for us. We were doing so well and things were so good for us. Then all this had to happen. Molly said she would visit me but she hasn't yet and I don't think she will. The girls around here are nice a few of them have babies Kaylynns age but that don't make things better. I haven't talked to Anthony yet and I still don't think I will. I'm so scared he is going to think bad of me and that I'm just some horrible girl who cant even take care of herself let alone her child. Oh how I just HATE this all.
8th May 2007, 3:02 AM
That sucks. She really should just let Anthony know what's happening instead of doing it all by herself. Great update! How's your son doing?
8th May 2007, 3:04 AM
Hes doing well thanks for asking, Keeping mommy up all night as usual but with my husband at work all night I don't get much sleep anyway. :)
8th May 2007, 3:11 AM
That's good! Yeah, my baby keeps me up too. I got use to it lol. Take care!
8th May 2007, 7:35 AM
Its been a week and this place has only gotten worse. I guess I should be thankful to have a roof over my head but its such a drab place. All of the girls in here are so dramatic about their lives and they think that everything has to be about them. Most of the time they barely talk about their kids and its like they don't care. They feed off of these nice people like they have to help them and its not fair. One girl Tiffany doesn't even work to help buy things for her baby. She leaves her with one of the other girls and goes out and drinks and parties all night and comes back drunk all the time. She does it almost every night. It makes me sick to think of the things she does while her son is here being raised by other people. It makes me glad that my mom brought me up better than that.
Today was the best day in a long time for me. I haven't been going to school because I don't trust any of the girls here to watch Ashlynn. I lost my job at the restaurant because of it. Thats not really what mattered to me anyway. I hated working every day. I only did it to keep food in our stomachs. Well today around noon the ladies who work here said I had a visitor. I turned around and there Anthony was. He ran up to me and gave me a huge hug and kiss then picked up Ashlynn and cuddled her and kissed her and told us that we needed to come with him and get out of that place. I was scared at first and asked him where we were going to go then he said that we were going to move in with him and he was going to take care of us. He said that he never wanted me out of his sight again. He said that we were going to be a family no matter what and that he loved us both so much. I'm sitting here in mine and Ashlynn's room which is huge, and almost the size of 2 bedrooms. Anthony's parents were really nice about letting us stay with them for a while until things got settled. This place is great.
Today was Kaylynn's first Halloween. We dressed her up as a pumpkin and took her around town for candy. Yeah I know that she is too young but she liked being in the stroller and looking around at all the different people. And Anthony loved getting all the candy for himself. He said that his parents made him stop trick or treating when he was 10. My mom never told me that I wasn't allowed to go out I was going every year and still am but now I get to take my daughter. Its really fun. We came back in and sat on the couch and watched scary movies all night and cuddled on the couch in my room. Then later that night we had some much needed fun for ourselves.
Today was a bad day. For the past week Kaylynn has been teathing and screaming all night. I don't get much sleep and neither does Anthony. His parents are no help either. They were so nice to put us up and make us feel at home here but now all they do is yell at Anthony and tell him that he shouldn't act like Kaylynn's father. That he needs to not get tied down with a tramp who doesn't know who her baby's daddy is. I hate hearing them talk about me like that and Anthony tries so hard to stick up for us and tell them that he loves us and wants to take care of us and wants to be Kaylynn's father. I love hearing it because when I hear him say it it sounds so real and true. Tonight even brought tears to his eyes as he fought for us. I stayed in our room and listened to it all and hugged and kissed my daughter and tried to make her stop crying so all the fighting in the house would stop.
Today was another bad day. Anthony was talking about moving us out and getting our own place with his college fund and savings which would be enough for a really nice house. I told him no and that he needed to go to school and that I would just leave but he refused to let us go. He said that when he turns 18 he is going to marry me and then he is going to adopt Kaylynn as his own and we are going to be happy together. He said we only have to wait 6 more weeks then he will be 18 and it will all be over. I want to believe him so bad but I'm not sure if I can. I needed someone to talk about and since me and Molly kinda stopped being friends I had no one. So I decided to take my chances and make a long distance call to Katie. She was really surprised to get my call. She asked how we were doing and I told her what was going on and where I was. I thought she was going to be so mad at me but she wasn't she was just happy we were all ok. She told me the Corey and Mason got in big trouble for drugging both of us and they are doing time. Then she told me something I just couldnt believe, "Tara the cops are looking for you......"
8th May 2007, 7:41 AM
he he he I see you in here stormy :) you just cant get enough can ya lol I'm soooo joking hun. :)
8th May 2007, 7:42 AM
RUN TARA! RUN! I love Anthony! Such a sweetheart!
8th May 2007, 7:46 AM
AAAHHHHH!!!! what could the police want. hmmm. and anthony is so sweet :D
8th May 2007, 7:58 AM
hmmmm i guess we will just have to wait and see, probably wont be until tomorrow until you all find out. :)
8th May 2007, 2:08 PM
Due to a horrible bee incident in my house (as I'm deathly allergic) I wont be able to get an update up quite yet. I'm a big baby and have to wait until my husband gets home from work around 11am to come find the thing and kill it before it kills me.
8th May 2007, 5:53 PM
:fright: I hate bees! That happened to my sister once. Bees just kept coming into her house so she called the exterminator. It turned out that bees had been nesting in her air vents. Eww gross! I'm so sorry.
8th May 2007, 7:51 PM
ohhh yuck well the bee is taken care of now I'm having internet and cable problems go figure but anyway i got the next chapter right here.
8th May 2007, 8:04 PM
Today was another bad day. Anthony was talking about moving us out and getting our own place with his college fund and savings which would be enough for a really nice house. I told him no and that he needed to go to school and that I would just leave but he refused to let us go. He said that when he turns 18 he is going to marry me and then he is going to adopt Kaylynn as his own and we are going to be happy together. He said we only have to wait 6 more weeks then he will be 18 and it will all be over. I want to believe him so bad but I'm not sure if I can. I needed someone to talk about and since me and Molly kinda stopped being friends I had no one. So I decided to take my chances and make a long distance call to Katie. She was really surprised to get my call. She asked how we were doing and I told her what was going on and where I was. I thought she was going to be so mad at me but she wasn't she was just happy we were all ok. She told me the Corey and Mason got in big trouble for drugging both of us and they are doing time. Then she told me something I just couldnt believe, "Tara the cops are looking for you...... They found out your mom had a life insurance policy and once you are a legal adult you get to have it. The papers saying that you are emancipated got here over a month ago. You are entitled to a lot of money."Those words really put things into perspective for me. I got the number from her and figured I would call in the morning and talk to them about the money.
I talked to the police and gave them my new address and they are going to send the check here. Mom had out a $500,000 policy and because I'm the only living relative or child I get it all. Anthony and I talked about it and decided we are going to get married in January and buy a house. We might even find one sooner. With this money Anthony can go to UCLA and continue his education. We decided that I will go to school online to get my diploma and then go from there for college classes. That will be easier on us and then we don't have to get a nanny for Kaylynn. We are going to get a house close to UCLA so Anthony doesn't have to drive far. We set our wedding date for Christmas day. Since its such a big day for me we thought it would be best. It will make our first Christmas together special, and every Christmas to come.
Today was Anthony's birthday. We wanted to celebrate but the nanny had the night off and Anthony's parents wont watch Kaylynn for us. They don't agree with anything we are doing but we don't care. We still love them even if they don't love us. So we stayed in and watched movies and played board games all night. I got my wedding dress last week with some of the money mom left me. It was pretty cheap and I had a lot of fun looking for one. Anthony got the church reserved for the 25th and after the morning service that day we will be married. Then we will probably go back to his parents house since we still haven't found a house of our own yet. We spent a few weekends looking but nothing really spoke to us. We are waiting to find our perfect dream home.
Today was such a good day, all the flowers got delivered to the church. We also have been out of town looking for a house again. We think we may have found the one we love. It has 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths, an office, dinning room, living room, one car garage, and a breakfast nook. I love the house so much and it was just built so no one has lived in it yet and it was only $300,000. which leaves us enough money to buy furniture and still put some away for Kaylynn. Probably not as much as we would have liked to but we will have more money soon. Its going to take a week to close on the house and then its ours. I cant wait to move in. Anthony is graduating early January 5th and choosing not to walk with his class. I felt bad but he said its what he really wanted to do. So he could spend more time with me and Kaylynn.
Today marks the day Anthony and I start our new life together. We decided that we didn't want to deal with his parents crap anymore and they didn't even come to the wedding. So we decided to drive to Los Angeles and stay in a hotel until things with the house were figured out. We ordered room service and just enjoyed being married. Its so weird to think of my self as Mrs. Meeks. I never thought it before but Tara Meeks sounds so good together. Soon we will get Kaylynns name changed too and she will be Kaylynn Meeks. Oh diary how I love my new family. I don't think I have ever been happier.
8th May 2007, 8:12 PM
:weep: That's so sweet! I'm so happy for her. :gjob:
8th May 2007, 8:23 PM
AWWWWWWWWWW! That's so sweet ^^ You had me worried the cops were going to be something bad!
8th May 2007, 8:25 PM
lol that was the plan, Im getting good at the creative writing part of my stories :)
9th May 2007, 2:31 AM
9th May 2007, 2:41 AM
*starts breathing again* YAY! i was so afraid it was going to be something awful the cops were going to tell her (that made no sense haha). super cute chapter :dance:
11th May 2007, 1:55 AM
Such wonderful updates :) I'm curious to know where you got Tara's hair from, its really beautiful.
11th May 2007, 8:56 AM
to be honest I have no idea lol if you want I can post it on the where can i find board but there is the chance its a pay item because I do have a few subscriptions.
11th May 2007, 10:56 AM
17th May 2007, 2:45 AM
4 years later
Oh wow I cant believe I just found you. I'm not a kid anymore but I feel like I just have to write in you even if its just one more entry. I guess you got forgotten about when we packed everything up and moved into the new house. Things have been hectic and Kaylynn is almost 5 years old. Anthony and I are doing so well. We are very happy together and we don't know where we would be without each other. We are even expecting something special of our own. Yep thats right I'm pregnant. Almost ready to pop any day now. Kaylynn seems excited to have a new sibling. I just cant believe how much she has grown. She starts kindergarten in September. Our lives seem to be flying by so fast. I will try to keep writing in you but as things keep progressing I feel that its going to be hard to find time.
3 days ago we had a baby boy. His name is Jacob. He was 7lbs 8oz and 21 inches long. He was such a big baby. For some reason this birth seemed a lot easier for me. Probably because I already had Kaylynn. She loves her brother and loves to give him kisses. Today is our first day home and I'm tired. I just thought I would share with you what will probably be my last entry for a long while. Now I'm the mother of 2!
3 Years later
Today Kaylynn turns 8 years old. Time has gone by so fast but now I think its time I hand you down to her. She already has shown so much interest in writing stories and such I think she will really love you. She can read about her moms journey through life and how she came to be. The story isn't really great but I think she is old enough to know about it. Oh diary you have been my life for so long but I feel like I must move on. I need to really grow up and move on. I'm going to miss you diary but I know a sweet little girl who is going to need you just as much as I did ad she grows up and heads out into the world.
Thats the end of this diary for now. Look forward to the next part of this story "Kaylynn's Diary" :)
17th May 2007, 6:36 AM
I just read it all. Loved it. I hope we get to find out who her father is! :beer:
17th May 2007, 8:31 AM
Aww how sweet! I can't wait for Kaylynn's Diary to start!
17th May 2007, 8:57 AM
Oh wow, what a wonderful story, no one can really outgrow a diary as some people write in them when they are elderly, but for the point of this story its understandable as everyone is different :)
Great story and I can't wait to read about Kaylynn's life.
17th May 2007, 9:02 AM
thanks guys, I actually had the end of this story figured out before i even finished the rest of the story. lol I thought It fit in well for making the transition to the diary of Kaylynn's life as well.
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