Would you rather die or live extremely ill?

[ChappyTamTam]

Hello :)

First of all, this story was inspired by my grandma, who died on January 5th, 2010 of lung cancer. A quick prayer or two for her.

Now. She wasn't very old - only like 65 or so - but she was facing a lot of pain and stress in her lifetime, physically and mentally. When she got diagnosed with lung cancer, she saw it as an opportunity and stayed in this hospital that didn't have very good medical treatment and such. When the cancer got really, really bad, and she felt very horrible and painful, she went to the Boston hospital close to where I live, where she died, just as she wished.

So, the question to you is ... would you rather die, or stay alive but be very ill?

As for me, I'd rather die like my grandma did. Sometimes pain is just too unbearable for us to handle, and we all need to rest ... well that's my opinion.

[Robodl95]

It would depend on a number of factors for me
1. How long do I have to live?
2. Is it treatable?
3. Is their advancing research being made? (iow, might there be a cure in a couple years assuming I have that long)
4. Can I do anything? (fulfill any dreams, spend time with family, etc.)

I don't think it would be a simple decision but I've never been that sick either so I really don't know

[ChappyTamTam]

It would depend on a number of factors for me
1. How long do I have to live?
2. Is it treatable?
3. Is their advancing research being made? (iow, might there be a cure in a couple years assuming I have that long)
4. Can I do anything? (fulfill any dreams, spend time with family, etc.)

I don't think it would be a simple decision but I've never been that sick either so I really don't know

Nice statements. I guess I didn't really think about anything else other than life or death (i.e. what you said above). :)

[Kathwynn]

for myself.. I am a 48 year old man.. Yeah go figure.. I have lived life to ir fullest. I have neither the fear of death nor wish it to be hasted. How ever If I were terminally ill. I do not know what my decision would be.. It would be too many factors to consider before I could even begin to frame an answer.

[acid_paradox]

First off, I'm sorry about your grandma. My great-grandfather died of lung cancer a couple of years ago.

Well, if there was some way that I could survive, like if there were a lot of advancements in medicine and such, I would play through the pain. If I knew that I couldn't make it, no matter how bad I felt, I would spend some time with family. Try to fix some mistakes I made in my lifetime, right some wrongs. Redeem myself. I mean, I'm still pretty young and I can think of plenty of bad things that I've done that I want to fix. I'd see my not dying as an opportunity to amend them.

I'm rambling. Overall, I'd endure the pain and hold out for as long as I could. Then, I'd probably just throw my arms up in the air and go to the light.

[rcranger9]

If I wasn't able to be cured then I would want to die. But if I could be saved then of course I would want to be saved.

[sandymdh]

Sorry to hear that. My nan died of cancer too at a similar age. She went into hospital and refused to let us come and see her which I really resented (I was 11 at the time) but now I completely understand that she wanted us to remember her healthy and happy. So, as I said, I do understand BUT 20 yrs later I actually had grief counselling over it (or the way my family had handled it anyway with the 'no see her, no funerals for kids, lets not mention her' approach). As for me I have kids so would put up with the most unbearable of pain just to spend just a few minutes more with them.

[Oaktree]

If I wasn't mentally all there, I would rather die, but if I had my faculties, regardless of pain and so forth, I'd rather live. I live for intellectual pursuits, so, as long as I'm able to pursue them, I would be relatively happy. If I couldn't, I might not be able to feel anything, but I wouldn't want to live like that.

[SuicidiaParasidia]

i would rather die. im less concerned with the quantity of time i spend alive and more so with the quality of the time i spend alive. chronic, severe illness is pain. its exhaustion. its joylessness. dead nerves dont feel such things.

death cant be all that bad. it happens to everyone eventually. whos to say that dying cant possibly be the best thing that ever happens to you? wouldnt it be grand if it turns out we're working ourselves into a frenzy over nothing at all?

i will embrace my end as readily as i embraced my birth.

[Sunbee]

Extremely ill is such a subjective thing. Do I still have access to books? Can I still communicate in some way? I have pretty high pain tolerance, I'm told--I think I'm a wimp but after four unmedicated births have to admit that those who think I'm not might just have a point. I have kids, I'd hold out as long as I could for them anyway: especially the little ones who are too young to remember me.

I have several relatives who fall in the extremely ill category at the moment. The only one who seems enthusiastic to die is the one who, if they had just followed a diet and exercise plan in the last thirty years or so would not be extremely ill in the first place! The distant relative with Alzheimer's is going strong and enjoying family even if they can't always remember who is who (when we visited several years ago I was my mom most of the time). The one with cancer again swears they'll beat it just like the last time and see their grandchildren graduate from college in a decade and a half. I think depression has a lot more to do with desire to live than illness does. (I'm pretty sure the first relative mentioned is depressed, but getting that person to seek treatment, or heck, do anything, is like pulling hens' teeth.)

[Mistermook]

I'd rather someone else do the dying and being sick, if we're getting to pick.

[SpookyOkyBatGirl]

I'm already living extremely ill with a disease that I still don't have a name for. My mom is constantly throwing me from doctor to doctor, trying to find answers for the past ten years. Medicines aren't working for it because it's either resisting or conflict ions with other mandatory medicine. I honestly don't know if this is deadly or not, but doctors are assuming so until they find the name.

[supersimoholic]

Me and my partner have already spoken about euthanasia when we are too old to look after ourselves, or when our minds start to go.

I think, if I found out I was terminal, I'd want to know how much time, and how fast I'd decline without any preservative treatments, or how long and how much more painful it would be with treatment.
If it would work out that if I got treatment although I'd have more time alive I'd have less time with my loved ones due to tests and injections and pain from the treatment, I'd rather just leave it and go when I'm gonna go.

If it would give me A LOT more time, however, then I would probably do it.

[Robodl95]

My great great grandmother who lives with us is 100 years old and she is in a state of an agony. Everything started on Wednesday when she lost contact with the world. She just keeps lying unconscious in bed, breathing very quickly and her muscles are totally limp. I'm really depressed seeing a person die. I'm crying when nobody sees. The doctor, to whom my mother talked, told us that my great grandma is going to die soon and nothing can help her. She would even be refused in hospital because of the state she's currently in. Euthanasia is illegal and we cannot do anything but wait. My mum called a priest and he came and we prayed for her to have God's blessing. She's very old and it is obvious that she'll die sooner or later but it's a very difficult situation for all of us. If I were to choose I wouldn't really know what to do. It depends on so many factors like my will, chances of recovery, my age, my relatives etc. If I were screaming with pain before dying my relatives would probably consider euthanasia provided there were certain circumstances met.
Great Great Grandmother? I would feel the same way as you do I think, if I was 100 years old obviously dying, unconscious and obviously in pain I would want euthanasia. She had a very long (and hopefully happy) life, best of luck :)

[Purity4]

My grandparents are in their 80's. For the most part, they're generally healthy, due to an active (both physically and mentally) life. They began having some age-related health problems once they got into their late 60's, but never would they just give up. They love life too much and can take a little pain and inconvenience in order to continue to exist. My spouse's father, on the other hand, has never cared about his health, smokes over two packs a day since he was 12 and is now in his mid-60's. Every time he's hospitalized for heart or lung issues caused by his smoking, he gets all depressed and lethargic, yet refuses to change his ways. It's almost like he never cared for living and sees no point in doing anything to stay alive. I have no sympathy for that mindset. He's a depressing person to be around and not very nice, either. That's really no way to live, and I sure wish he'd change his 'tude because it puts his kids through hell dealing with his damn moods.

[Merit]

i would rather die. im less concerned with the quantity of time i spend alive and more so with the quality of the time i spend alive. chronic, severe illness is pain. its exhaustion. its joylessness. dead nerves dont feel such things.

death cant be all that bad. it happens to everyone eventually. whos to say that dying cant possibly be the best thing that ever happens to you? wouldnt it be grand if it turns out we're working ourselves into a frenzy over nothing at all?

i will embrace my end as readily as i embraced my birth.

This. I don't care how long as I live as long as it's mostly pleasant.

[game90]

i prefer a quick exit over a slow and painful death. Since you're gonna die anyway, might as well get it over with.

[~Dee~]

i would rather die. im less concerned with the quantity of time i spend alive and more so with the quality of the time i spend alive. chronic, severe illness is pain. its exhaustion. its joylessness. dead nerves dont feel such things.

death cant be all that bad. it happens to everyone eventually. whos to say that dying cant possibly be the best thing that ever happens to you? wouldnt it be grand if it turns out we're working ourselves into a frenzy over nothing at all?



I agree, I rather be dead too than linger and since we are all going to die sooner or later I don't see what the big deal is.

Laying somewhere in hospital terminal ill and only knowing you are alive because of the horrible pain, that is not living.

Some people have the tendency to hang on to life at what ever cost to themselves, I have no problem with that, it's their life after all.

For myself I rather not go through something like that if I can help it.
Everyone to their own I suppose, it's up to the individual.

[SuicidiaParasidia]

I know living with such a wet blanket is difficult but he also needs support and sympathy. My neighbor's father was very irritating because he started behaving in a very annoying way like refusing to wear nappies and hiding everything he got under his bed or God knows where. He also kept covering himself and everything around him with his own shit! These were the symptoms of dementia. He also kept complaining all the time and being rude towards his daughter-in-law in spite of the fact that she was very patient and helpful unlike his son. I also kept complaining because his room is exactly above mine and he was hitting the floor with his walking stick at night and I couldn't sleep. He also kept falling over in his room and yelling very loud every time someone wanted to help him.

its difficult for someone to lose their independence, or their grip on how they knew themselves to be. in fact, i have seen many elderly people who drive recklessly because they dont want to admit that they cant see as well and thus need to rely on someone else to get them from A to B. especially because it all happens regardless of whether they want it to or not, and thats enough to make anybody crabby.

[Rawra]

As I have no certain idea on what lies beyond death, I'll choose the illness, no matter how hard or painful it is.

[longears15]

I'm sorry about your Grandma *hugs*

This topic is pretty close to my heart as it's something I struggle with on a daily basis. I've brought it up whenever the euthanasia debate comes up but I have Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, which is an excruciatingly painful neurological condition that started for me after knee surgery 12 years ago - actually this weekend is 12 years since the accident that started things off :(

My pain varies from maybe a 6/10 on a good day, to a 10/10 at its worst - such severe pain that I'm hospitalised, that I have to fight very hard not to stay conscious through the pain...sometimes it's so bad that I lose that fight. I was doing okay for a little while but I've relapsed again lately. My legs are always badly affected - I can't walk - but I had to have surgery six weeks ago for one of my pain relief implants. The surgery damaged some of the nerves in my back and is causing more pain. Three weeks ago I got a serious skin infection in both legs and was on IV antibiotics. When they put in a PICC line (a special sort of IV, because I have no accessible veins left having been hospitalised so many times), they hit a nerve in my arm and flared the disease in my hand and arm and has caused it to spread to my shoulder, neck and chest. I'm all but confined to bed, but in so much pain I can't even have a doona on my legs, I can't use my arm, it hurts to breath because the nerve pain in my chest makes it feel like my ribs are broken. I can use the computer with one hand or voice software, but right now that's my life. With my medications (narcotics and other strong drugs) I haven't got the concentration to do anything useful, I can't work, I have no independence. I'm having a kind of 'last ditch' attempt at treatment next week that we hope will stop or reverse the latest spread, but if this is my life, I don't want it. Life to me is about quality, not quantity.

[lorenrose1013]

i prefer a quick exit over a slow and painful death. Since you're gonna die anyway, might as well get it over with.

I completely agree. Once you know it's just gonna be all pain until you die, it might as well end right then and there.

[Kathwynn]

If I found out that I was dying of an incurable cancer. Yeah I think I would end my life as painlessly as I could.. But it is not a flip answer as you might think.. My mother has a disease that affects her bones.. She takes morphine on a daily basis.. If not for her religious beliefs I think she would have chosen suicide a long time ago.

My religion does not have those same bans on suicide. So yea I think that given the option.. Yeah I would check out....

[Shadowside]

This topic is pretty close to my heart as it's something I struggle with on a daily basis. I've brought it up whenever the euthanasia debate comes up but I have Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, which is an excruciatingly painful neurological condition that started for me after knee surgery 12 years ago - actually this weekend is 12 years since the accident that started things off :(

My pain varies from maybe a 6/10 on a good day, to a 10/10 at its worst - such severe pain that I'm hospitalised, that I have to fight very hard not to stay conscious through the pain...sometimes it's so bad that I lose that fight.

With my medications (narcotics and other strong drugs) I haven't got the concentration to do anything useful, I can't work, I have no independence. I'm having a kind of 'last ditch' attempt at treatment next week that we hope will stop or reverse the latest spread, but if this is my life, I don't want it. Life to me is about quality, not quantity.

I have a similar situation as you - have had New Daily Persistent Headache for the last 8.5 years, which is a sharp, constant headache that just started one day and never went away. 6/10 used to be my baseline, lately it's been a lot lot worse, hitting 10/10 almost every day (but I'm limited to 4 days of narcotic use per week, as my neurologist hates prescribing them.) I've been fortunate enough to be functional enough to finish school but I'm worried about being capable of finding a job and holding it down, since putting all of my effort into finishing school means I have no work history, and it's hard to explain why without mentioning needing summer break and holidays for neurosurgeries and hospital stays.

But I would definitely prefer living, however much in pain, to being dead. Sure, during the worst pain I've definitely wished to be unconscious - and on occasion thought I might be dying - but I have to believe that there's got to be something, somewhere, that can provide enough relief to give me back the semblance of a normal life.

I really don't think that most other people can genuinely say whether they'd prefer to live or die with a chronic, extremely painful, nonfatal illness unless they were put in a similar situation. If someone had told me 9 years ago that I'd be spending the rest of my life in severe pain, I probably would've said I would prefer death.

Longears, I really hope your treatment works, or did work, given that you may have already had it. Also, despite hating whenever anyone asks me "Have you tried X?" (because the answer is invariably "Yes," "that treatment's not applicable to me," or "that treatment's batshit insane"), I have to ask: have you tried either a continuous ketamine or lidocaine infusion, or combination infusion of both?

[TheEndIsNigh]

Personally, I feel as though I died a long time ago. My body is just feeding off me.

In this twisted, messed up, disgusting world, I would gladly choose any exit out of it...

[DancingK8]

I've always had a pretty big fear of death in general. I think I'd rather live, and at least have the hope that I'd be able to recover one day. Then again, I guess it would depend on the pain I was experiencing- I guess I couldn't be sure unless something like that actually happened to me.