Warning - This chapter's a little dark. The next one won't be as bad, but still slightly dark. A plot-bunny did it.
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I hate this.

Here I am, stuffed up the wazoo and feeling like the ever-present balloon in my stomach keeps laughing at me as it inflates during each pregnancy, then deflates after the birth to lull me into a sense of freedom before popping its head up again. Being exhausted seems to help my sense of oppression in this house grow.

It doesn’t help that Joe ‘suggested’ I go take a nap. God, I wish I’d never told him…



At first, I was worried about how he would react, especially considering his lack of parenting skills towards my eldest two, but it seemed like he was happy to hear the news when I finally got around to telling him. Too happy, especially after what happened next after he started to talk about the future…

“Yes, I can see it now. The introduction of a bouncing boy to accompany me and my wife to some parties will really help me with earning more money.”

“Wait a second! I’m not your wife remember, and after the last two I’m not sure I want to hurry into anything right now.”

His grin was oily and rather like you would imagine a Great White’s to look like. After drawing out a piece of paper from his pocket, it only got wider.

“Well, sure we could not get married, if you want to. Take your stuff and go.”

“WHAT!?”

“It’s all in this contract here my dear, the one you signed a couple of months ago when I took you to that party for work. You know, the one with all the lawyers? The contract stating that if you conceive while I’m living here, the deed and all the savings you have go directly to me.”

“But…That night I was so drunk I mistook a plastic flamingo for you! I was in no shape to read that, let alone understand it!”

“Doesn’t matter. Well?”

Bastard. Even now I burn at the thought of what he did. With no place to go and me in this condition, who knows what will happen to the kids, and he knew that. I’ve got to get that contract off him, but he keeps it with him wherever he goes. I can’t even kill him because he’s too careful about watching me, and unlike the other two, he’s too smart to fall for tricks.



At least Talin seems to object to his actions. That makes me feel a little better…



…When he’s not scaring the life out of me! Push off, will you! At the very least, think about the impact this would have on your own daughter, you jerk!



It seems I wasn’t imagining stuff due to cabin fever last time. The maid really is spying on me, and she reports everything to Joe. Whenever I move is “Oh Ma’am, you shouldn’t, your husband won’t like it” or “Your husband would be annoyed if he finds out you’ve gone outside!”

Once, I went out for a walk. Just a simple walk to clear my head, that’s all. That’s when I got a ring on my phone from Joe at work, swearing at me and telling me to get back in the house where the maid can keep an eye on me. I’m trapped in my own home, and I’m struggling to find a way out.



Every day it seems to get worse. I’ve found myself day after day doing the same things, drained of all emotion. I should have jumped for joy when Pisces was potty-trained, but I couldn’t even manage a smile.

The only bright point was when the maid had gone home, and Joe was too busy concentrating on painting a picture to get more money. I managed to sneak out to look at the stars, when Timothy walked by and stopped when he saw me.



It was only one kiss, but it gave me hope.

Hope isn’t enough though.



Then came the day of the wedding. As huge as a whale, I was surprised when Joe walked in one day with an low-cut cocktail dress of mine. Looking closely, I noticed it had been altered to fit a larger person. He wouldn’t…

“Put this on, it’s time we get married so my heir will have my last name.”

…He would. I can’t even choose my own clothes anymore!?

In any case, here we are, the loving union of Noir Cho to Joe Carr. Welcome the new exciting life of Noir Carr…

Help.