This chapter is written a little differently. I hope that’s ok with everyone. I’m just getting sick of writing a dialogue for everyone all the time, I feel like I’m repeating myself. As always, i hope you enjoy the chapter
PS: I did turn headlines off but it didn't work for some reason?

Dave and I went to get groceries earlier as it’s Keira’s birthday today and we we’re almost out of food. We bought her a cake but I wanted to cook her something special for her for dinner.
Anyway we were browsing the aisles when I noticed this little old woman standing in the corner of the supermarket doing her knitting. Thinking that was odd I commented on it to Dave.



‘Isn’t that Mrs Crumplebottom?! I’ve heard stories about her’
‘Shhh, she’ll hear you’
‘so’
‘so I’ve told you before, only believe half of what you hear, she’s probably a harmless old woman who’s knitting some socks for her grandkids’
‘In the middle of a supermarket??’
‘maybe she has Alzheimer’s or something, let her be’
‘well I wouldn’t want her as my grandmother, look at the scowl on her face, she’d probably eat me alive’
‘Em’

I had to giggle.



Dave and I continue doing our shopping when out of the blue the lonely old Alzheimer granny starts lecturing Dave. Neither of us had a clue what she was saying. All we could hear was high pitched screeching. I almost had to laugh when I see that Dave is cowering. He is such a wimp sometimes.



Well that was it for the rest of the time that we were there, us buying groceries, Mrs cumplebottom following us shouting abuse. I have no idea what we did to set her off like that, and Christ! That voice! It was enough to kill a stampede of rhino’s. I’m amazed the windows didn’t shatter.
‘So much for your sweet little old lady’ I said once she briefly resumed her position back in the corner.



Dave and I seemed to be the only ones in the line of fire until she turned on the poor girl serving at the counter. She didn’t do anything to provoke her, well neither had we but this poor girl.



We tried out best to ignore her, which was hard for me. By the time we finished our shopping and walked outside I was ready to thump her. Little old lady or not. She was still walking behind us screeching. Well I could never do that so I got an idea…something to piss her off.
There was a photo booth outside the store and if I knew old people, I knew they didn’t approve of any sort of funny business especially in public, so I grabbed Dave by the hand and pulled him inside the booth with me.



I told him of my intentions, we only faked it but it was enough to set her off again. I couldn’t see outside the curtain but I could hear her screeching. I did everything not to burst out laughing.
Not surprisingly, Mrs Crumplebottom wasn’t the only one creating a scene outside the booth. I swear, every single person in the vicinity of the block came charging up cheering and clapping!!



I don’t know where they came from because there weren’t that many people inside 10 minutes beforehand. What could we do? We hadn’t anticipated that so we did the only thing we could think and that was to play it up.



While I thought it was all over and done with, Mrs Crumplebottom had not finished with me yet. Not satisfied with abusing me she started beating me with her handbag!



‘She’s hitting me! Stop hitting me you crazy old bat!’
‘Dave, do something!’
‘What do you want me to do? I can’t hit her, she’s an old lady’
‘Can’t you refrain her or something?’
‘what if I accidentally break a bone or something, she looks so frail, she could snap in two’



Well of course that had her going again, this time turning her attention to Dave. ‘Don’t call me frail and so on’

We were slowly edging away from her but she continued to follow us. Dave begging her to back off, probably afraid i might hurt her and then I'd be locked up. Although he should know me better.



Dave tried pulling the bag off her but that just made her turn on him. I thought we’d have to make a run for it but just as soon as she started, she stopped, walked away, pulled out her wool and hooks again and continued her knitting.



I’m only glad we didn’t have Keira with us.