Emalita says I need to get myself a man…I agree. There’s plenty of them around…I just don’t have very much luck with them. Take my car pool driver Victor. Five days a week I climb into his beat up old car on the hours drive to work and back with him and he’s never uttered a word to me. He’s like a mute.

So tonight I’ve planned to check out a new bar in Riverblossom.



Fix myself a light dinner…
…Now there’s a view. Just what I want to see while I’m enjoying my meal….why do these fitness freaks insist on stopping in front of my house to do their afternoon stretches? Oh great… bend over. What does she want? For me to go out there and tell her what a great backside she has? Maybe she thinks the guys still live here…



I’ll just pull the blinds, now what to wear, what to wear?
I’m in the mood to be purple… Flip my hair to the left
It’s not the same since Seth and Rob moved out…I’ve had to return to the workforce for one thing…..and it’s great not having to clean up after them but it’s so quiet.

…..alright alright I’m COMING.



‘Wrong number buddy, there is no Jim here!’
Click
Shoes on, ok tonight I’ll call a cab…couldn’t be bothered walking.
‘Hi I’d like a taxi please…..just for one…that new bar in town…it will be here soon? …great’



Honk Honk

I must have fallen asleep. What’s the time?…8 o’clock! Half an hour ago I called that cab!



This place is deader than a dinosaurs carcass….
...but what do we have here? Three barmen. I could be in for a long night. Ok well maybe only one of them looks ok , the one on the right, for the others to become more appealing I may need about 10 shots of tequila.



On closer inspection who I thought may have been a Lex Luther look-a-like is more of a Montgomery Burns. Balding with liver spots on his head. Bleuch.
I wonder if I should call Em to give him an emergency hair transplant.



Come to think of it, he reminds me more of Lurch from the Addams family…ok watching way too much television….this is precisely the reason I need a man in my life.

What is with everyone looking at me? Do I have toilet paper stuck to my shoe? Spinach in my teeth? Or maybe I’m just the only one here who doesn’t look like an 80’s has been…they probably think I’m foreign.

Perhaps I could play on that a little if I attract the wrong type of attention. Soddy, I no speaka the English. I don’t know what language I was trying to mimic there?



What is this woman doing beside me? Does she think she’s hot or what. What is she…checking me out??
Oh that gesture…give me a break Puhlease.



I haven’t even ordered myself a drink and I’m beginning to wondering what I’m doing here and these 2 guys behind me are starting to give me the creeps.
‘Hey, take a picture, it’ll last longer’
Go awaaaaaay.

‘Hi, yes bartender, that’s what you do isn’t it? Martini please….ah poured thanks…
….15 dollars!! What is this place, the ritz??

Could have served it in a nicer glass for that price.