I phoned the matchmaker a second time…only this time I gave her $3700. That’s a lot of money. This next guy better be damn good.
She also sold me some love potion but I’ve decided to use it only as a last resort.



I looked around with anticipation for my very expensive date who didn't turn out to be exactly what I had in mind. But get past the grassy get up and he wasn’t bad looking. If he turns out to be my knight in shining armor the first thing we’ll do is go clothes shopping….and maybe do something about those orange eyebrows.



His name….Jim. Jim! For someone so exotic looking I was expecting something more apt like say….oogabooga. Jane and Jim. Jim and Jane. Thank god his name wasn’t Tarzan.

God dammit! Straight inside to the TV! Well…he does look like a native…I think I can let him off.

‘So Jim. Do you like what you see?...
…I take it that’s a yes?’
This is good.



Jim was alright I suppose. I coaxed him outside so we could chat in the warm sunshine. There was definitely chemistry there and he liked my jokes more than Joel did, but maybe a little too much.



He was quite charming and even gave me a massage but I think the sun was starting to affect him as he wanting me to tickle all the time and stuck his fingers in his ears like a spoiled brat not getting their own way whenever I tried telling him about my interests. Cultural differences?



Once he was over his tantrum we danced a little, around the side of the house-how romantic but that was cut short when I stepped on his toes.
I was a bit nervous. I kept expecting him to drop hot coals and run across them or breath fire with lit sticks. What do I know? I’m not from his side of the world.



All was forgiven quickly until he pounced on me for a kiss! Incoming! A warning first would have been nice. That was the last thing I would expect after treading on his toes…could he be kinky? There was that tickling incident.



He was an odd one alright…but that body! Forgive me but it’s been a while and he was strutting around with minimal clothing. If you could call it that.
I ended the date before I did something I might have regretted. Stupid me! Letting a body like that go to waste. I will have to have him around again….and soon!



So he may not be the one but he might just fit my needs temporarily.