Here's a little split chapter for you...i hope you don't mind Keira's language but that's how i perceive her

Yeah carry on talking to her about soccer while she's choking on her food why don't you.



Mum’s been here.
Can you tell?
Made over the whole god damn dorm.
They all seem to like their new looks so much they never change them. I wouldn’t be surprised if they went to bed like that.
Very attached to their outfits though these guys. Wearing the same thing day in, day out. It’s no wonder they all smell like an orangutans ass. And that’s on a good day.



That stupid looking cow you see to the right there. He’s just decided to pop in for the day and run around poking people for the fun of it.
It all started when I came back from class this afternoon. One of the dormies was blocking the doorway so I couldn’t get in. Just standing there in his own little world oblivious to the few of us who like to get into our dorm so we can wash ourselves.
‘Move out of the way you idiot!’



I just cannot be nice to these moronic imbeciles that happen to be my roomies…and I do try…really…I do.
So anyway I head into the cafeteria for some omelet or mac ‘n’ cheese or chili con carne which seems to be the only thing the cook can make and that cow mascot thing walks over and pokes me in the chest for absolutely no reason.



‘What the fuck is your problem?’ I asked poking him back. He didn’t answer, after all he’s a cow right? Or was it a she? Whatever, but we played poke tennis for about 2 minutes before I shoved him over and he turned around and had a big sob.



That’s some serious screwed up shit when a mascot cow is standing in your dorm wiping fake tears from its eyes. Don’t even think about feeling sorry for it because it then rubbed its hands, sorry, hooves together and ran off to poke its next victim.



and the next…



and the next



I had an assignment to finish so I left the knee slappers (gotta remember to change the radio station) and went into the little study room off the side of the dorm where hardly anyone ever goes and that frickin cow followed me in there and started poking me in the chest again!



What the fuck was that things problem?? I’d seriously had enough of this shit.
It was payback time.