So I took Roger to my parent’s house and mum comes out and greets us with a sea chantey.
Roger got so into it he sang along with her….looking at me as if to say…’well come on, join us’
Not on your life!



There we are standing on the front lawn with mum and Rog singing at the top of their lungs..
Yo Ho Ho A pirates life for me…
Oh my fricken god!



‘well mum, this is Roger’
Mum greets Roger then turns to me to tell me a joke she’d heard recently and Roger stands by swooning over me…right in front of my mother…with the whole ‘give it to me baby’ thing going on!
Normally something like that would embarrass me but my family are freaks so what does it matter?



Mum didn’t even notice.
‘So where’s dad and Brandon?’
‘Brandons playing video games and I’ll give you 3 guesses as to where your father is’
‘’talking to his plants’
‘got it in one Baby girl’

Dad wasn’t talking to his plants, he was practicing his Tai chi. Something he’s very fond of.
‘Honey, meet Keira’s boyfriend Roger’



‘Good to meet ya mate, she’s not giving you too much trouble I hope’
‘Daaad’
Next thing mum pipes up with ‘Hey, let’s Tai chi!’ whips into her workout gear and her and Dad start showing us what they do in the afternoons.
Roger reckons my parents are really cool.
Whatever.



If he thinks that’s cool wait till they start their juggling act.
‘Reckon we could have a coffee or something mum?’ I ask to deter them from embarrassing me any further.
‘Baby girl’ she says. ‘You know we don’t allow coffee in this house, besides, your dad’s about to fire up the Barbie’
She then proceeds to gesture ‘hang loose’ to Roger.



Dinner went well…dinner always goes well come to think of it. No-one ever argues over dinner, nor disagrees. It’s the one time we all really get along. They make people feel at home and I’m at least grateful for that.
Roger didn’t comment on the sparkling fish.



We were still enjoying dinner (both mum and dad are great cooks) when Pippin, who is getting old, tears past us and into a car that had pulled up out the front.



‘where’s Pippin going?’
‘To work’
‘Pippin has a job? You send our pet to work!?’
‘What’s the harm? It gives him something to do’
‘oh my god he even has a car pool!’
‘He’s a snooper deterrent, he likes it’



‘He likes it? What….so he comes up to you and says woof, hey this job thing is really cool, when can i do it again, woof’
‘hahahahaha Keira. All he has to do is lay on some valuables for a few hours and he gets $113 for it’
‘You mean you get $113 for it’

For the rest of the night we played darts, caught up and drank hot chocolate, since coffee’s not allowed. I heckled Brandon for a game of punch you, punch me and he couldn’t take my punches, yelled at me for hurting him and stormed off for an hour.



What a wimp. I’m going to pay out on him for that for the rest of his life.
I’m such a bitch.