The latest in a string of dramas to unfold at the frat house began with Ashley telling me he had a visit from some social bunny, he said. He’s whacked in the head that guy.

I figured out why the piano is outside. It’s so no-one has to listen to people torturing it.

Kev set the stove on fire while making himself a toaster pastry and in his hysteria his tiny brain couldn’t tell him to grab the fire extinguisher. By the time I got inside to see what was happening half the kitchen was on fire and Ashley and Josh had joined in the panic. I had to call the fire brigade and even then they wouldn’t get out of the kitchen. What is wrong with these people??



You think things can’t get any crazier from here? Think again.
No-one bothered to pay the bills did they so we had a nice little visit from the repo man. This guy was like the terminator! Even I was intimidated, just look at that evil grin.



There was no pleading with this guy but what really pissed me off…..he took all MY shit!!
And he was lovin’ it! Didn’t touch so much as one of the others socks, no, just my stuff. My posters, my alarm clock, he even took my god damn bed! Fanfuckintastic!



Son of a bitch!



Everyone had their exams at the same time this semester except me. I finished early enough to have the pleasure of seeing half my stuff taken by the repo guy.

Well Ashley failed his exam and is now on academic probation. If he’d just spent a bit more time concentrating on his assignments instead of freaking out at a scary movie, he may have passed.
I think it got the better of him, failing his exams. He also hasn’t had a girlfriend the whole time I’ve known him and all he talks about is romance.



I probably should have waited before telling about repo man.



He flipped out! I mean really flipped out. I had to feel sorry for the poor bugger. He started having a conversation with who I could only imagine was an imaginary friend because there was nobody there.
You think that’s bad? He then started flapping his arms and clucking like a chicken!



I felt embaressed for him. I felt embaressed for me.

I asked him if he was going to be alright. He shook hands with his imaginary friend then turned to me excitedly saying. ‘Did you see that!?’
‘Er, see what’
'He healed me!’
‘Who healed you? Ash, there’s no-one there’
Ash didn’t seem to be taking in anything I was saying to him, just kept repeating ‘He healed me, he healed me!’

Praise the lord!



At this point Ashley started grabbing his stomach and pointing to his mouth. No words, just actions. It was like playing fucking charades.
Now I didn’t just feel sorry for him, I pitied him.
'Come on mate, I’ll get ya something to eat then eh?’



I came to this place to have fun and wild parties. Instead I get to baby-sit a bunch of pussies who can’t fend for themselves or at least say the words ‘I’m hungry’
I walked toward the house to make some sandwiches. I turned back to see Ash now dancing with a mop with a paper plate stuck to it.



Words have escaped me.