It’s been a long day. It’s been a long 4 years for that matter.
I seem to be the only one not failing all my subjects.
In all sincerity my last exam I only got a B but hey, I’m not failing.
Josh was doing ok for a while but even he failed his last exam and was put on academic probation. He’s not too fazed. Reckons he can hack his grades.
He came home reeking.
When we mentioned that he smelled like a 3 day old bag of prawns he waved his hand under his armpit and inhaled.
Obscene!
I had to back away from the smell. He’s gotta be the only human who’s gets off on his own BO.
I passed Kev on my way to my room who was so in need of food, sleep and the toilet that he couldn’t decide which to do first.
‘Food, I need food’
‘Well get something to eat then big fella’
‘But I’m tired and need to piss real bad, what do I do? What do I do?’
‘You’re a big boy, you figure it out’
He went back to bed.
This went on for some time. He’d get into one bed, nod off for a tick, get up, complain he was hungry then go and climb into another bed.
Use your fuckin’ brains wanka. Eat, piss, sleep. Too easy.
I guess I’ll have to do it for him. The preparing of food I mean.
‘
Come on Kev. I’ve made some salad. It’s all there was. A frat house fridge full of leafy green vegetables, what is the world coming to? Hehe…hey man, don’t do that, you’ll get gherkin up your nose…ahh geez’
I took a long hot shower and changed. Thought I might see if Josh wants to toss a footy round for a bit before I start on my assignment.
‘
Whassup Josh…wanna come toss a footy round?’
‘sure thing, soon as I finishing hacking my grades.’
‘Shit man, do you think that’s wise?’
‘I gotta do somethin’ , anyway I’m almost done, hold up’
*Sirens blaring*
‘
Fuck!'
A 20 minute lecture and a $450 fine later. That’s gonna hurt. Josh is a tight ass.
‘Oh and I’ll be taking an item of value instead of the cash’
‘Take the pizza box! It’s a one of a kind, worth heaps…I swear!’
‘Ah man not the computer, took me ages to save up for that’
‘He aint listening Josh’
‘
Prick!’
‘not as bad as repo man’
‘well at least he only took one…I can finish what I started’
‘What the fuck are you doing??’
‘chill man, I got it. I know what I did wrong last time’
‘Insane!!’
Guess i'll be tossing that footy on my own.