I tried inviting Patricia over last week but she gave me one of the well known excuses about her psychic advising her not to go out that day. Now I have lived in this town my whole life so I know everyone of those fabricated excuses. You’d think people would have the courtesy of inventing something new when they lie.

‘Keira, Rhianon woke up and I haven’t had my shower yet. Can you get her a bottle’
‘Sure, should I stick a feather duster up my ass and clean the house while I’m at it?’



‘Wha…?’
‘Forget it, I’m calling a nanny. Our guests will be here soon.’

So where was i? I knew how this worked, I had to make several phone calls and talk about the right things to ‘build’ the relationship. All just to have someone over for dinner. I wouldn’t bother but mum stresses that I need ‘adult conversation’ to keep me sane. Sometimes it’s the adults who drive me insane in the first place. But I’m taking her advice.

The nanny has arrived. I can hear her saying hello as she shuffles down the hall.




Dinner is going well-I didn’t burn it at least. Patricia had some sort of meltdown as I was dishing it out about her social bar being in the red. What drugs she is on I have no idea but if she had of come over the first time I asked then she wouldn’t have that problem. Funny how she can invite herself over, eat my food and bath my baby when she hardly knows me but couldn’t come over when I invited her.



I have to admit, it is nice to have people over although I am keeping a close eye on this nanny at the same time. She’s just helped herself to a plate of roast and taken a seat in the lounge. That’s ok for now. The twins are happily slobbering over their toys and I’ve picked up the used nappy she left on the kitchen floor after changing Ryder. We had just sat down to eat when she did that so that was a charming start to the night.



We bought a new boardgame called ‘Don’t wake the Llama’. I’m really looking forward to playing it as I love board games.
I can see through the kitchen window from here so I can keep an eye on the nanny. She seems lovely, and she’s clearing our dishes so that’s a huge tick in my books. I like a clean house. Something i don't get to see too often anymore.



This game is pretty cool, reminds me of pick up sticks. Patricia has become animated while playing this. If she keeps waving her arms about like that she might fall off her chair. That would be funny, I could do with a laugh.



They want to play again, this is gonna be a long night. I hope the kids sleep through….who the hell is she??



‘Don’t think we haven’t noticed your enthusiasm in games Keira’
How does she know my name?
‘As a small reward, please feel free to journey to the games of glory where gaming is king’
Huh? Who are you people??
‘What are you…a stalker? How do you know my name? Are you watching me through your telescope???..
…..Hey I’m talking to you!’

I think we should go inside.



I shudder to think who else is watching us. I’ll be bringing the Llama game inside.
‘Want to watch a movie anyone?’

At least it’s warm inside. Lainy-the nanny, is bathing the twins. I thought she might put them to bed already. Well at least they should sleep longer now.
This is nice, Patricia is standing right in front of me so I can’t see the movie. A cloud of green stink wafting straight into my face.

‘Er Patricia….i don’t mean to be rude but you’re not made of glass’



Patricia turns her head but doesn’t say anything. Maybe that’s how they do things at her house? At least she’s enjoying the movie I guess? Gabe however, has chosen to stay outside at the Llama table. Hoping someone will come back and join him? Expecting the Llama to sprout legs and perform a caberet routine?



Who knows?
We say our goodbyes and i'm thanked for the delicious turkey. I say no worries. It beats baked beans on toast. Patricia wants to know what baked beans are. I tell her it's something i'm glad i didn't serve if i'm to be sleeping next to Evan.
She didn't get it.