My first house, thanks to a 20k grant and a handout from mum and dad.



This here is my pride and joy. I been working on her day and night. Probably had her around 2 months now and it’s slowly coming along.
I may have mentioned I’d be sharing with Joshua and his girl, Tiffany so let me tell you a little about them.



Tiffany is a back up dancer. She enjoys candlelit dinners and long walks on the beach…..no, I’m kidding, I really don’t know if she likes those sorts of things but I do know she’s clean, can make herself a bowl of cereal without help and washes her bowl when she’s finished.
She wears little make up and always dresses impeccably.
She gets deliriously happy when it snows and likes to pull fish faces at the fish in the tank.



Josh, you already know a little.
He did have a job as a gumshoe but he’s thrown that in and discovered Natural science. Josh likes to play the drums. He also likes to bypass the breakfast bar and eat his dinner outside in the snow. Josh will help around the house but his idea of doing the dishes is to lick them clean.



That’s about all there is to tell about them really.

The old’s came over a few nights ago, before we headed out to watch Tiffany enter a dance contest.
‘What’s that junk heap on your driveway' me mum says.
‘Hey watch your language’ I told her. ‘That’s my baby you’re talkin’ about’



That ponce with the chef’s hat on that you see there had come to offer me membership to Sue’s (secret) kitchen. Mum wanted to know who Sue was. I told her I didn’t know. Mum said I shouldn’t trust strangers in weird hats offering me memberships to seedy sounding places. She reckons they could be dealing drugs or some other nasty substance down there and before I know it the cops will be onto me.
I reminded her no-one does drugs in Sim City; no-one even knows what drugs are. Mum finds that hard to believe.



Dad likes my house and my flat screen TV and tells me he’s glad I put my money to good use. Mum tells him to move out of the way because her favourite cooking show is coming on. Tiffany comes home from work and takes a nap on the couch.



The olds left around an hour later and Josh, Tiffany and I caught a cab to the local. A dingy little place with a bar, pool table and a DJ booth. It’s been around since I was just a kid.
Josh and I went to the bar to order drinks while Tiffany stood looking nervous on the dance floor, awaiting the dance contest to start.



She was soon joined by a woman or rather mutton dressed as lamb, a bloke with a scarf on who danced like he was riding a horse, and a penguin. Hang on a tick, I hear you say. A penguin? Yup, didn’t believe it myself at first but that little penguin gave it all he had.



Sadly he lost the contest,



as did the mutton woman and the bloke.
The penguin did a wee, shook it’s leg and waddled off.




That penguin reminded me of someone.