New Job Titles And Descriptions

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Uploaded: 22nd Oct 2010 at 11:50 PM
Updated: 25th Oct 2010 at 3:33 PM
Ever get bored of seeing the same promotions over and over? Yeah, me to. So, when the rather amazing, Gjoothewarhero approached me with an almost whole set of new names and descriptions I was practically jumping out of my seat. Now sometime later; here they are!

What’s Changed?
Every level in the Culinary, Military,Journalism, Business and Criminal (both branches) has new description/ promotion texts as well as new names where appropriate. The original names and descriptions can be viewed by clicking on the links above while the new ones are listed below if you feel like comparing:

Business Career
1. Temp: You’ve got your Bachelor of Business degree in hand and are ready to take the world by storm. But first, you should probably get used to the business environment. Bring the managers coffee, sharpen pencils, and take notes, you’ll rise up one day.
2. Business Intern: The paid internship was finally accepted! You’re almost in the big leagues. Continue to learn the ropes and one day you’ll be crunching numbers! The work might still be menial, but it sure beats being a Temp.
3. Receptionist: Finally, a real job! You are the head of the office. You greet the employees and potential customers as they walk in, answer and transfer all phone calls, and you even get to run the copy machine! Time to start sucking up to the boss, otherwise you might be stuck here for a while.
4. Sales Clerk: Time to shine! You’ve been promoted to a cubicle with your own computer, pencil sharpener, and even a chair! There is a lot riding on your shoulders now so don’t make your boss regret the promotion.
5. Manager: You’ve been doing such a great job that the head honcho’s think you’re ready for a leadership position. With your new suit come new responsibilities. Keep your employees happy and they’ll work hard, which looks good for you, of course.
6. Regional Manager: The higher ups thought it was time to let you head a multitude of branches! You are the manager of managers so it is your responsibility to keep things running smoothly over several of your companies branches, so don’t mess it up. You’re almost at the top of the corporate ladder!
7. Vice President: This is the big leagues you have been dreaming about. You’ll juggle stock options and talk to the CEO personally about issues that are of the utmost importance to the company. It’s not easy from here because you’ll have to show the leadership qualities that are needed in a CEO. Keep revenues up and you’ll be a strong candidate for promotion.
8. CEO: The Chief Executive Officer is the highest you can get within a single corporation but you’ve done it! You are the final word on all big decisions to be made in the company. You get an office that rivals your house. But it’s not all fun and games. You still have to keep the company going!
9. Director: You are the newest member of the Board of Directors. You’ve been given more control over the company than you can even imagine. You listen to the desires of the stockholders, hold meetings with fellow directors, and make it happen.
10. Chairman of the Board: All your employees look at you with reverence. Your competitors cower in fear. You are the single most important person in your chain of companies with the power to make or break corporate empires. You’re the head honcho now, looking down on the lowly Temp you used to be.

Criminal Career
1. Pickpocket: So you’ve decided to take a career in the darker side of society? You are still expected to pull your weight. The mob bosses want you to show them your skills before they allow you to advance any further in their syndicate. This should be as easy as taking candy from a baby.
2. Scapegoat: You’ve demonstrated your skills as a thief. Now they have to know you can rely on you. Take the fall for your fellow thug to show your dedication to the organization. Don’t worry, though. If the mob bosses believe in you, they’ll bail you out.
3. Lookout: You’re making your way up the crime ladder! You still have a few things to do to prove yourself to the mob bosses so get working. This time, they want you to be the eyes and the ears during the operation. It’s up to you to make sure everyone gets out quickly before the fuzz arrives.
4. Getaway Driver: Your skills as a driver are now being put to the test. Mob bosses want well-rounded individuals to do their dirty work. Prove your ability to dodge the cops and weave through traffic and you are guaranteed to rise through the ranks.
5. Con Artist: You’re next test is to check your persuasive skills. Whether it be a phishing scam, Nigerian e-mail, or a pyramid scheme, it’s up to you to mastermind the plan and see it through. The top bosses are watching you from now on so put on your best game face and rack in that ill-begotten dough!
6. Heistman: Your final test before becoming an official member of the group. The bosses want to see you plan and execute a group heist. Pull it off and show them what you’ve got. Mess it up and you’ll be back to taking bags from innocent old ladies.

Evil Branch
7. Henchman: Taking a turn toward the more malevolent nature of your job, you are now expected to be the henchman during any number of operations. This includes running errands for the boss, kidnapping any VIPs, or using your own brand of “forceful persuasion.” The higher up you go, the more sinister your job gets, so be prepared.
8. Saboteur: The boss doesn’t like a lot of things. Maybe it’s just his nature, but those objects of dissatisfaction need to be handled. This is where you come in. The boss tells you what he wants…changed, and you’ll see to it that it’s gone. Sabotage is the name of your game and you are a top player.
9. Double Agent: In addition to things, the boss doesn’t like a lot of people. You’ve demonstrated extreme skill in sabotaging that the boss wants you to do some investigative work into a few organizations on his bad list. Slip in, slip out, find out the important information and take out all necessary targets.
10. Sleeper Cell: You are a sleeper cell. A highly trained and specialized agent of chaos and sabotage. You wait for the orders to execute your ultimate mission but until then, you go about fulfilling your personal agenda and creating destabilization in any organization you come into contact with.

Thief Branch
7. Carjacker: Now that you’re working directly under the mob bosses, your gains are expected to be grander. You’ve been tasked with relieving rich Sims of their blazing fast vehicles and bringing it in for…”maintenance.” There is still a great risk, but the rewards of rising higher in the syndicate are greater.
8. Safecracker: Your ability to outsmart the cops and crack any code has been noticed by the big man himself. During a heist, it’s your job to cut through the steel, bypass the lasers, and open the bars to any and all safes. No bank is safe from you and they know it! The risks are always rising with your renown.
9. Mastermind: You’re great capacity for thievery has been finally put to the test. You are now the great planner behind all future heists for the syndicate. Disguises, plans, expected hostility, escape route, you think of it all. You are a grand contender to eventually take over the entire crime operation so keep your wits about you!
10. Mob Boss: You’re skills in all forms of thievery and heist planning has impressed the mob boss so much that he insisted you take his place when he retired. Now it’s your job to run all other planners, crackers, and con artists. Your great skills are ushering in a new age of organized crime.

Culinary Career
1. Busboy/Busgirl: This is only the first rung in a long career in the culinary arts. You’ll be dealing with a lot of food…most of it already eaten. Keep your hopes up and a smile on your face and one day you can serve the food instead of cleaning it up.
2. Waiter/Waitress: You’re on your way up! The life of a waiter/waitress is rough, having to deal with customers and getting their orders right. Just keep telling yourself that it will get better and one day you’ll be the one making the food.
3. Fry Cook: Everybody loves French fries and every French fry needs to be fried. That’s where you come in. The master of exotic oils like peanut and vegetable, you are the first in a long line of fried food specialists. Maybe one day you can actually touch the grill.
4. Food Taster: Your boss thinks you need a little experience with the various spices and combination of ingredients before you become a full-fledged chef. Take this slight detour with stride; you’ll occasionally get free food!
5. Chef de Partie: Hungry patrons have put their food desires in your capable hands. You must orchestrate the kitchen so it flows smoothly to get the customers food out quickly and still tastes good. No one gets blamed for bad food but you!
6. Pastry Chef: The higher ups see potential in your cooking abilities. However, before they promote you further, they feel you should be well versed in all areas of the culinary arts, including the sweeter side. Man the bakery and churn out the best cakes, crepes, and baklava that your customers have ever tasted!
7. Sous-Chef: As a Sous Chef, your task now sits outside cooking. You’ll handle the daily management duties around the restaurant. Juggle the orders from your boss and the orders of the customers and you’ll succeed in no time.
8. Executive Chef: You’re back in the kitchen, where you belong. You run the day to day happenings in the kitchen and handle the greetings of those special guests who come through your doors. This is a tough job, but you’ve made it this far, no reason to give up now!
9. Chef de Cuisine: As the Chef de Cuisine, it’s up to you to revolutionize the menu and create foods that make every customer melt in culinary-induced ecstacy. You’re foods are without equal and you’ve put your restaurants name on the list of every big name in town.
10. Celebrity Chef: Your creative culinary creations have inspired chefs the world over. Even better, you’ve scored a TV spot where you can create your special dishes to an audience in the millions. Everybody dreams about getting a reservation in your premier restaurant to try one of your many masterpieces. There are no recipes you haven’t mastered and each new one you make is a hit. You are the master of the kitchen!

Journalism Career
1. Paper Boy: Out on the streets to spread the news, that’s your job. You rise earlier than most other people to ensure they have their papers on time. You know the importance of news and you are dedicated to getting the word out with hopes that one day you’ll stories will get published.
2. Freelance Writer: The Editor has taken note of one of your articles and wants to give you a part-time position. Sure, your articles may not get first page and you probably won’t get paid a lot, but this is the next step toward working your way up to that desired editor position.
3. Article Writer: After a string of amazing articles, the Editor has opened up a spot on his writing staff to fit you in. As a full-time employee, you are now expected to churn out those same amazing articles that got you promoted. Beware, if you start to slack, you might be bumped from the staff.
4. Advertising Coordinator: The Editor thinks you are such a valuable asset, he decided to bump you to advertising. Your main concern is to get other companies advertisements into the paper to ensure their satisfaction. Your other concern is to advertise the paper and make it sell like mad.
5. Art Director: Your ability to position ads in strategic locations has impressed the Editor greatly. He thinks your ability for fanciful placements would be put to better use organizing the look of the paper. You determine the final look and tell the artists working under you what to create to meet your demands.
6. Content Manager: Your importance to the paper is not overlooked which is why the Editor wants you to be the second to last step in the creation of the paper. As the Content Manager, you set up the layout of the paper and forward it to the Editor for final review. The TV news executives have their eye on you and they see potential!
7. Publisher: As a publisher, you have to keep the paper in circulation and make sure it meets all deadlines not handled by the editor. It’s a tough job, but that’s why they hired you. The rumor is that the local TV news executives were eyeing you for a potential spot as an anchor.
8. Investigative Reporter: The TV executives want you to research stories and appear on TV to tell the public about it. This is a great chance for you to spread your wings and experience the non-written part of news. Do a good job and the execs will consider you for their soon-to-be-vacant anchor position.
9. Editor-In-Chief: Your old Editor decided it was time to retire and he couldn’t think of anyone better for the job than you. The execs at the TV news station are reviewing your reports and deciding how you will do as an anchor. Until then, you’re in charge of the paper now so keep the news flowing smoothly!
10. News Anchor: The TV execs see something in you. An outgoing personality and a strong desire to spread the news. Your reports were as outstanding as your articles and the executives believe you are the next big thing in news. Get out on camera, smile, and give the people the news!

Military Career
1. Airman: You’ve enlisted in the Air Force! The military brings great benefits to its members and their families. It’s a tough job, but a well respected one. Keep your chin up high and look to the stars; you can only go up from here! And look on the bright side; you only have to mop floors until you get promoted!
2. Senior Airman: As a Senior Airman, you are expected to start displaying the leadership traits that the military looks for. Your job hasn’t gotten easier just because you have people working under you. If anything, it’s gotten harder but you have the resolve necessary to run a well oiled section.
3. Staff Sergeant: You’ve been promoted to an NCO position. You have more responsibilities and people under your command than you ever thought you’d have. But don’t let it go to your head; you’ve got some new recruits to train. Put on your war face and make them give you 20!
4. Master Sergeant: You’re a rough and tough Senior NCO now and all of the Squadron knows it. No one dares cross your path for fear of a smoking and help the poor soul that stands to correct you. Your speeches raise the morale tenfold to anyone who hears it. You’ve got the leader in you that the military needs.
5. Second Lieutenant: With commission in hand, you happily accept the new promotion bestowed upon you. As an officer in the military, you’ll be held to a higher standard and expected to lead more now than ever. This is all for your dream of becoming a pilot in the military.
6. First Lieutenant: It’s time to start pilot training! You have a tough year ahead of you as you train to become a pilot in one of the best Air Forces in the world. Muster up the courage and willpower to become first in your class, and you’ll be rewarded greatly for your efforts.
7. Captain: You’ve earned your wings! With the resolve of a steel door, you completed pilot training with flying colors. You’ve been assigned to a fighter squadron as the lead pilot. Show the brass what you’re made of!
8. Major: Your mastery of the jet has become stuff of legends. Fellow service members look at you in awe and enemy pilots don’t even take off if they know you’ll be there. You are a flying ace and the top brass has taken note.
9. Lt. Colonel: You’ve been grounded for now as the military makes use of you as a poster child to boost pilot recruitment. You take the new job in stride though because you heard a passing rumor. You’ve been recommended to pilot NASA’s newest space shuttle!
10. Colonel: Your expertise in aeronautics has caught the attention of the government and they have you strapped to the most advanced space shuttle the world has ever seen. You were handpicked to lead the nation into the dark reaches of space. You’re a legend in the military!

Technical Stuff
·This does not edit the EA career data at all, it won’t change wages, work times or anything else of that nature.
·I have run through these descriptions using the supercomputer to get promoted, so they should all be changing correctly now, but if you find any that are blatantly wrong then please contact me ASAP
·You may install more than one package at once, I’ve listed each career separately so you can pick and choose or there is also a package with all of the changes if you want to use all the different ones but not have loads of cluttery packages

Huge Thankyou to
, the brains behind this operation, for his beautifully crafted and extremely amusing new descriptions. Thanks Gjoo!