View Single Post in: Story Time Contest: Hero Edition
#346
27th Sep 2012 at 4:15 AM
27th Sep 2012 at 4:15 AM
Posts: 3,722
Thanks: 28504 in 66 Posts
Round 5 Scores
Last scores, last scores, yay!!! I really, really cannot even begin to express how much I appreciate the fact that you all have been so patient about getting thes scores back. Husband’s mom was here for a week, then the husband came home, and then I had to go back to work and work all through the weekend. Am finally getting caught up on EVERYTHING I’ve had lying around waiting.
Remember, if you have an issue with your scores, please come to me instead of disgruntled posts here or trying to PM the judges. The scores are averaged between all 3 judges. Instead of rounding to the nearest half point, scores are just rounded to the first decimal.
Spladoum
I enjoyed reading through Eric's entire journey, and was especially glad to see some semblance of a happy ending for him. I also want to commend you on keeping his character consistent throughout the rounds. He's flawed but he's willing to accept this fact and move on, and I find that wonderful.
I'm glad to see that Eric is back to being a doctor again. The switch from saving Myrna's brother to signing all his papers was a little abrupt and felt rushed but perhaps after so many years of analyzing, just getting back in there and starting someone's heart was all he needed. I'm glad that he got a happy ending though.
Very very good way to end this and wrap it up. It's a realistic kind of "happily every after", I like it. I wasn't sure you used the bonus, which is understandable: our hero is his own worst enemy, isn't he? Other than that, however, I really, really enjoyed that. I hope your scores get counted, actually.
Glad to see ya back, splad!
And what an amazing finish you presented! There are some rough areas that didn't seem to fit into the climax puzzle too well, but overall it was very well done!
ReyaD
I have to say, I really like that you added differing viewpoints of the aftermath of Juliette's decision; especially from her daughter. It's also incredibly sad that the deaths of the first generation Orycalcosians - took me a while to spell that out correctly, thank goodness for copy/paste - couldn't be prevented. Not all sunshine and rainbows for this story, but I loved it all the same.
I'm sad that Juliette's story ended so abruptly. I'm interested to find out what happens as we go down the road but all the time skips made for a lot of holes that I would have liked to see filled, especially with Elena disregarding her mother's work to pick up where Liam left off. I feel that Elena herself could really make a wonderful story. Of everything, I think your use of the bonus was fantastic.
The ending was a little predictable but very detailed: I like how you continued beyond Juliette's children to what could be next generation of important players in the struggle between the "Freaks" and the regular humans. Your story is complete. Bravo!
Wow! You really did well with presenting this story! The climax was perfect for this type of situation and I think you handled it very well! There may have been one or two spots that were a little weak, but you soon regained your pace and that's what I really liked!
Ghost_sdoj
Finally Kylara gets to change out of that horrible outfit.
It was nice to see Greymane get what was coming to him and for Kylara to come into her own over the course of the story. Go Kylara!
Glad to see that Kylara and Lord Alfric were successful in their attempt. I wish her a happy, very long life. I know that they will have each other but watching all the people they know/love die will get old. It's kind of a bittersweet ending.
Love that last line, it's a great tension breaker. The excerpt was ok, and I felt the bonus was a touch weak, but otherwise the story flowed well and wrapped up nicely, complete with a non-plaid bow. Congratulations, you made it!
I really liked the story, but the only thing I had troubles with was imagining the scene inside of my head, instead of having to read it as a script. Otherwise, I really loved the scenery you displayed! Awesome ending as well!
Viva1994
That was certainly an interesting ending to your story. It's good to see Suzanna and Bram back together in whatever form and I love that despite the circumstances, she is able to still retain her snarky/sarcastic attitude! And that whole lunch scene toward the end was just fantastically written.I hope Suzanna and co. are able to finally take down the company with this new mysterious plan. Just a side note: I had to deduct a point in the rules section due to the rewording of the excerpt.
I didn't really feel any sense of closure to your story. Suzanna was injured and had to heal, the Company was still intact, Valentina was still scheming, and Bram was playing sidekick. It all really came in a circle, back to where we started with no clear resolution to the original problem.
LOVE the visual irony in some of your pictures (Bram's shirt: "The sun is trying to kill me." That made me laugh out loud.) A rule issue, however: the excerpt is completely worded differently. Since it is supposed to be a direct quote of a song, I docked you on that.
Otherwise, great conclusion, thank you!
Good work on the entire story line.. but near the end it began to drag and I could no longer connect with the characters. I had to deduct a point in the rules section because you changed your excerpt, which is against the rules. But, the flow of the story was excellent, and you regained yourself at the end which made me really happy!
Qnshr5
Again, your usage of staging is absolutely stunning; especially for a chapter as action packed as this last one. Helena is a fantastic heroine and I want to thank you for writing such an interesting and gripping journey for me/us judges to read. I'm sad to see it end, but I'm absolutely satisfied with the way that it did. Fantastic, fantastic work Qnshr5.
I am blown away by this ending, if you could call it that. You summed everything up, giving us closure but leaving us something to hope for (please make a blog to continue!) with the blue haired woman and the bodiless grave. The action sequences were amazingly portrayed. I couldn't stop reading. Absolutely fantastic job.
What a ride, Qnshr5! Your storytelling is pretty darned tight, well paced, and emotionally engaging. This last chapter didn't disappoint. thank you for pushing through to the end, I'd hate to be left hanging.
HOW FREAKING EPIC! Now that's the kind of story I love! Everything was there: imagery, mood, flow, scenery! Amazing work! Wow!
Tamlyn
I LOVE your usage of the bonus; it is incredibly creative and extremely well written. Seeing Matt and Zoe finally together made me smile and it's nice to know that there are people in her town that are willing to look past what makes her different and instead see what makes her Zoe. Also, she's rocking that new 'do - it had to be said.
A wonderful ending to a wonderful story. Great job, Tamlyn.
Fantastic ending. I am proud of Zoe for focusing and putingt the fire out to save Matt and Jill alike, even if Jill was condemned to another, albiet different, fate. I'll hope that there is a love connection between Zoe and Matt and they can go on living happily ever after. Fantastic use of your bonus and excerpt. If the excerpt hadn't been outlined, I'd have thought it as something required because it was used seamlessly.
I thought that was a strong way to finish, Tamlyn. Your use of the bonus scene from Jill's point of view is one of the best uses of that opportunity.
Amazing screenshots and scenery! I am very impressed and I am glad to see your improvement! The ending was extremely original which I loved so much! All together, it was a very well presented story!
Sabri5
Before I get started, the entry form wasn't filled out completely. So much happened this chapter that I'm not sure what to comment on exactly! I will say that I am happy that Samara is back to her old self and able to "start fresh," as she said, as a mortal. I also want to comment that I love your portrayal of sibling/familial/mother-daughter relationships between Elizabeth, Sarah, and Samara. I wasn't entirely sure where you were taking your story when we first started this contest, but it's been a pleasure reading you develop that plot over the course of these five rounds and seeing it morph into something uniquely your own. Great job!
I'm really happy that Samara is able to start fresh. I don't know exactly what this means for Elizabeth but at least she is reconnected with her family and will be able to work on being happy again, even without John Ross.
I'm so sorry your game still isn't cooperating, and I continue to lament your inability to participate fully. However, I do thank you and applaud you for continuing on until the end. Many would have just given up. Slight rule problem, your entry form is incomplete (didn't list the current event)...Bake a cake? Really? Oh when I first read that, I thought "what the..?" I REALLY wanted pics at this point! What a painful ending, though. "If happy ever after did exist" indeed. Well done, Sabri. Thanks again for a wonderful ride.
Very well put together story! Even though it didn't have pictures, I did not have any sort of trouble having it play through my head, which is a great accomplishment. The only thing you forgot was that you did not list the current event in your entry form.
LadyAwesome
I'm so sad to see your last entry without your beautiful pictures, but I completely understand your reasons for submitting without them. However, the story was a little jarring in places and sometimes difficult to decipher what was going on or who was talking to whom and unfortunately, no pictures made that issue a little more noticeable. You were also missing a summary before the start of your story. I will say that the very ending with Lottie and Seth was a great addition and the scene where Ala sacrifices herself was exceptional. I wish she could have had a happier end, but she went out how she wanted to and managed to take down a formidable foe in the process (at least I hope so!). Thanks for the delightful trip through Ala's story, LadyAwesome!
I'm so sad that Ala did not get a happy ever after. However, you did a wonderful job "showing" us your story without pictures. The flow was a little off in places but, overall, you did a wonderful job closing this story out.
Something I haven't realized until I was reading your text without pictures: there's something of Sherrilyn Kenyon in your writing, a poignancy to your caracters and your ideas. It works for her; you might want to hold on to that. Having said that, I did have trouble following the story in some points; I would recommend having someone else read (or re-reading it yourself) before submitting. The confusion made what would otherwise have been a truly poignant ending a little hard to get to. (In other words, it didn't flow very well) Nonetheless, I am grateful that you pushed on and finished, I truly enjoy your stories. The mood was great, your characters are poignant, and the storyline is enjoyable. Thanks for everything!
Aww! Sorry about your game having issues! The imagery was perfect, though! It seems that a story without pictures is easier to imagine than a sotry with pictures! Some of the scenes were a little rough though, and you forgot to include a summary before your story as well, so I had to deduct a point in the rules section. Awesome job, though!
missroxor
You were unfortunately over the word count limit, so a point was lost in the rules section. Jada's father is just... ugh! He definitely got what was coming to him and Jada being the one to finally take him down and expose him for what/who he is was just perfection. I like that you kept your story unique throughout the contest and you managed to wrap up a complex story up beautifully. Two thumbs up!
You horrid little wretch. To survive the gunshot wound and then be suffocated by his father? I almost stopped reading there. We never heard the fate of Olivia but I guess it is safe to assume that she didn't make it either. Such a tear jerker and really not quite what I was hoping for, though I suppose most of these kinds of stories have collateral damage of the very people you loved. Though I wanted a happy ending, the story was amazing.
By far your strongest round, I loved every single second, and couldn't stop reading. Not that your previous chapters were bad, mind you. I think you nailed it. Except for the word count... oops! Thank you so very, very much for participating, for taking the time to craft a really good story.
Awesome, Awesome story! It was so very well put together and presented with fantastic screenshots! The effects were amazing as well! Very nice work, indeed! But, you did go over your word count with your bonus, so I had to deduct a point from the rules section.
Final Scores
Final scores are averaged between all rounds. I will be posting everyone’s scores, even those who, unfortunately, had to withdraw. As you can see, there was a very, very close call between our winner and runner-up.
Congratulations missroxor! And really, congratulations everyone. You all did amazing. For those of you who stuck with it, I am so very proud of you for dedicating yourself to this. I know it hasn’t been easy. I know that most of you have had some kind of computer issues to battle to get through this but you all made it and that is fantastic all on its own. For those of you unable to finish, don’t worry. I don’t hold grudges…for long! Just kidding, I really don’t. I do hope to see all of you around, perhaps participating in the next story contest? *wink wink*
Also, just a little something extra for everyone that participated. Superlatives!!! The judges and I got together and nominated who we thought deserved special recognition in certain categories so without further ado:
Again, congratulations and a job well done to EVERYONE involved!
Last scores, last scores, yay!!! I really, really cannot even begin to express how much I appreciate the fact that you all have been so patient about getting thes scores back. Husband’s mom was here for a week, then the husband came home, and then I had to go back to work and work all through the weekend. Am finally getting caught up on EVERYTHING I’ve had lying around waiting.
Remember, if you have an issue with your scores, please come to me instead of disgruntled posts here or trying to PM the judges. The scores are averaged between all 3 judges. Instead of rounding to the nearest half point, scores are just rounded to the first decimal.
| Contestant | Total |
|---|---|
| Spladoum | 94.3 |
| ReyaD | 96.7 |
| Ghost_sdoj | 93.7 |
| Viva1994 | 93.7 |
| Qnshr5 | 103.7 |
| Tamlyn | 100.7 |
| Sabri5 | 75.0 |
| LadyAwesome | 71.3 |
| missroxor | 101.7 |
Spladoum
| CREATIVITY (45) | Originality (15) | Excerpt (10) | Character (10) | Event (10) | SCENES (30) | Pictures (10) | Mood (10) | Staging (10) | FLOW (20) | RULES (4) | CC (1) | TOTAL (100) | BONUS (5) | OVERALL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 42 | 13 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 30 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 20 | 4 | 0 | 96 | 0 | 96 |
| 42 | 14 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 30 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 18 | 4 | 0 | 94 | 0 | 94 |
| 41 | 14 | 9 | 10 | 8 | 30 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 18 | 4 | 0 | 93 | 0 | 93 |
I enjoyed reading through Eric's entire journey, and was especially glad to see some semblance of a happy ending for him. I also want to commend you on keeping his character consistent throughout the rounds. He's flawed but he's willing to accept this fact and move on, and I find that wonderful.
I'm glad to see that Eric is back to being a doctor again. The switch from saving Myrna's brother to signing all his papers was a little abrupt and felt rushed but perhaps after so many years of analyzing, just getting back in there and starting someone's heart was all he needed. I'm glad that he got a happy ending though.
Very very good way to end this and wrap it up. It's a realistic kind of "happily every after", I like it. I wasn't sure you used the bonus, which is understandable: our hero is his own worst enemy, isn't he? Other than that, however, I really, really enjoyed that. I hope your scores get counted, actually.
Glad to see ya back, splad!
And what an amazing finish you presented! There are some rough areas that didn't seem to fit into the climax puzzle too well, but overall it was very well done!
ReyaD
| CREATIVITY (45) | Originality (15) | Excerpt (10) | Character (10) | Event (10) | SCENES (30) | Pictures (10) | Mood (10) | Staging (10) | FLOW (20) | RULES (4) | CC (1) | TOTAL (100) | BONUS (5) | OVERALL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 39 | 13 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 29 | 10 | 9 | 10 | 18 | 4 | 1 | 91 | 5 | 96 |
| 39 | 13 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 28 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 18 | 4 | 1 | 90 | 5 | 95 |
| 40 | 14 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 29 | 10 | 9 | 10 | 20 | 4 | 1 | 94 | 5 | 99 |
I have to say, I really like that you added differing viewpoints of the aftermath of Juliette's decision; especially from her daughter. It's also incredibly sad that the deaths of the first generation Orycalcosians - took me a while to spell that out correctly, thank goodness for copy/paste - couldn't be prevented. Not all sunshine and rainbows for this story, but I loved it all the same.
I'm sad that Juliette's story ended so abruptly. I'm interested to find out what happens as we go down the road but all the time skips made for a lot of holes that I would have liked to see filled, especially with Elena disregarding her mother's work to pick up where Liam left off. I feel that Elena herself could really make a wonderful story. Of everything, I think your use of the bonus was fantastic.
The ending was a little predictable but very detailed: I like how you continued beyond Juliette's children to what could be next generation of important players in the struggle between the "Freaks" and the regular humans. Your story is complete. Bravo!
Wow! You really did well with presenting this story! The climax was perfect for this type of situation and I think you handled it very well!
There may have been one or two spots that were a little weak, but you soon regained your pace and that's what I really liked!
Ghost_sdoj
| CREATIVITY (45) | Originality (15) | Excerpt (10) | Character (10) | Event (10) | SCENES (30) | Pictures (10) | Mood (10) | Staging (10) | FLOW (20) | RULES (4) | CC (1) | TOTAL (100) | BONUS (5) | OVERALL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 40 | 15 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 28 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 18 | 4 | 1 | 91 | 3 | 94 |
| 40 | 14 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 26 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 19 | 4 | 1 | 90 | 3 | 93 |
| 42 | 14 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 27 | 10 | 7 | 10 | 18 | 4 | 1 | 92 | 2 | 94 |
Finally Kylara gets to change out of that horrible outfit.
It was nice to see Greymane get what was coming to him and for Kylara to come into her own over the course of the story. Go Kylara!Glad to see that Kylara and Lord Alfric were successful in their attempt. I wish her a happy, very long life. I know that they will have each other but watching all the people they know/love die will get old. It's kind of a bittersweet ending.
Love that last line, it's a great tension breaker. The excerpt was ok, and I felt the bonus was a touch weak, but otherwise the story flowed well and wrapped up nicely, complete with a non-plaid bow. Congratulations, you made it!
I really liked the story, but the only thing I had troubles with was imagining the scene inside of my head, instead of having to read it as a script. Otherwise, I really loved the scenery you displayed! Awesome ending as well!
Viva1994
| CREATIVITY (45) | Originality (15) | Excerpt (10) | Character (10) | Event (10) | SCENES (30) | Pictures (10) | Mood (10) | Staging (10) | FLOW (20) | RULES (4) | CC (1) | TOTAL (100) | BONUS (5) | OVERALL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 38 | 14 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 29 | 10 | 9 | 10 | 18 | 3 | 0 | 88 | 4 | 92 |
| 43 | 15 | 8 | 10 | 10 | 29 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 19 | 3 | 0 | 94 | 4 | 98 |
| 36 | 13 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 27 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 20 | 3 | 0 | 86 | 5 | 91 |
That was certainly an interesting ending to your story. It's good to see Suzanna and Bram back together in whatever form and I love that despite the circumstances, she is able to still retain her snarky/sarcastic attitude! And that whole lunch scene toward the end was just fantastically written.
I hope Suzanna and co. are able to finally take down the company with this new mysterious plan. Just a side note: I had to deduct a point in the rules section due to the rewording of the excerpt.I didn't really feel any sense of closure to your story. Suzanna was injured and had to heal, the Company was still intact, Valentina was still scheming, and Bram was playing sidekick. It all really came in a circle, back to where we started with no clear resolution to the original problem.
LOVE the visual irony in some of your pictures (Bram's shirt: "The sun is trying to kill me." That made me laugh out loud.) A rule issue, however: the excerpt is completely worded differently. Since it is supposed to be a direct quote of a song, I docked you on that.
Otherwise, great conclusion, thank you!Good work on the entire story line.. but near the end it began to drag and I could no longer connect with the characters. I had to deduct a point in the rules section because you changed your excerpt, which is against the rules. But, the flow of the story was excellent, and you regained yourself at the end which made me really happy!
Qnshr5
| CREATIVITY (45) | Originality (15) | Excerpt (10) | Character (10) | Event (10) | SCENES (30) | Pictures (10) | Mood (10) | Staging (10) | FLOW (20) | RULES (4) | CC (1) | TOTAL (100) | BONUS (5) | OVERALL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 45 | 15 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 30 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 20 | 4 | 1 | 100 | 5 | 105 |
| 45 | 15 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 29 | 9 | 10 | 10 | 20 | 4 | 1 | 99 | 4 | 103 |
| 45 | 15 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 29 | 10 | 9 | 10 | 19 | 4 | 1 | 98 | 5 | 103 |
Again, your usage of staging is absolutely stunning; especially for a chapter as action packed as this last one. Helena is a fantastic heroine and I want to thank you for writing such an interesting and gripping journey for me/us judges to read. I'm sad to see it end, but I'm absolutely satisfied with the way that it did. Fantastic, fantastic work Qnshr5.
I am blown away by this ending, if you could call it that. You summed everything up, giving us closure but leaving us something to hope for (please make a blog to continue!) with the blue haired woman and the bodiless grave. The action sequences were amazingly portrayed. I couldn't stop reading. Absolutely fantastic job.
What a ride, Qnshr5! Your storytelling is pretty darned tight, well paced, and emotionally engaging. This last chapter didn't disappoint. thank you for pushing through to the end, I'd hate to be left hanging.
HOW FREAKING EPIC! Now that's the kind of story I love!
Everything was there: imagery, mood, flow, scenery! Amazing work! Wow!
Tamlyn
| CREATIVITY (45) | Originality (15) | Excerpt (10) | Character (10) | Event (10) | SCENES (30) | Pictures (10) | Mood (10) | Staging (10) | FLOW (20) | RULES (4) | CC (1) | TOTAL (100) | BONUS (5) | OVERALL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 45 | 15 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 30 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 19 | 4 | 1 | 99 | 5 | 104 |
| 38 | 14 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 29 | 10 | 9 | 10 | 20 | 3 | 1 | 91 | 5 | 96 |
| 45 | 15 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 30 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 16 | 4 | 1 | 96 | 5 | 101 |
I LOVE your usage of the bonus; it is incredibly creative and extremely well written. Seeing Matt and Zoe finally together made me smile and it's nice to know that there are people in her town that are willing to look past what makes her different and instead see what makes her Zoe. Also, she's rocking that new 'do - it had to be said.
A wonderful ending to a wonderful story. Great job, Tamlyn.Fantastic ending. I am proud of Zoe for focusing and putingt the fire out to save Matt and Jill alike, even if Jill was condemned to another, albiet different, fate. I'll hope that there is a love connection between Zoe and Matt and they can go on living happily ever after. Fantastic use of your bonus and excerpt. If the excerpt hadn't been outlined, I'd have thought it as something required because it was used seamlessly.
I thought that was a strong way to finish, Tamlyn. Your use of the bonus scene from Jill's point of view is one of the best uses of that opportunity.
Amazing screenshots and scenery! I am very impressed and I am glad to see your improvement!
The ending was extremely original which I loved so much! All together, it was a very well presented story!
Sabri5
| CREATIVITY (45) | Originality (15) | Excerpt (10) | Character (10) | Event (10) | SCENES (30) | Pictures (10) | Mood (10) | Staging (10) | FLOW (20) | RULES (4) | CC (1) | TOTAL (100) | BONUS (5) | OVERALL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 40 | 13 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 0 | 9 | 0 | 17 | 3 | 1 | 70 | 4 | 74 |
| 41 | 14 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 0 | 8 | 0 | 18 | 3 | 1 | 71 | 5 | 76 |
| 39 | 14 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 9 | 0 | 18 | 3 | 1 | 70 | 5 | 75 |
Before I get started, the entry form wasn't filled out completely. So much happened this chapter that I'm not sure what to comment on exactly! I will say that I am happy that Samara is back to her old self and able to "start fresh," as she said, as a mortal. I also want to comment that I love your portrayal of sibling/familial/mother-daughter relationships between Elizabeth, Sarah, and Samara. I wasn't entirely sure where you were taking your story when we first started this contest, but it's been a pleasure reading you develop that plot over the course of these five rounds and seeing it morph into something uniquely your own. Great job!
I'm really happy that Samara is able to start fresh. I don't know exactly what this means for Elizabeth but at least she is reconnected with her family and will be able to work on being happy again, even without John Ross.
I'm so sorry your game still isn't cooperating, and I continue to lament your inability to participate fully. However, I do thank you and applaud you for continuing on until the end. Many would have just given up. Slight rule problem, your entry form is incomplete (didn't list the current event)...Bake a cake? Really? Oh when I first read that, I thought "what the..?" I REALLY wanted pics at this point! What a painful ending, though. "If happy ever after did exist" indeed. Well done, Sabri. Thanks again for a wonderful ride.
Very well put together story!
Even though it didn't have pictures, I did not have any sort of trouble having it play through my head, which is a great accomplishment. The only thing you forgot was that you did not list the current event in your entry form.
LadyAwesome
| CREATIVITY (45) | Originality (15) | Excerpt (10) | Character (10) | Event (10) | SCENES (30) | Pictures (10) | Mood (10) | Staging (10) | FLOW (20) | RULES (4) | CC (1) | TOTAL (100) | BONUS (5) | OVERALL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 40 | 13 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 0 | 9 | 0 | 17 | 3 | 1 | 70 | 4 | 74 |
| 41 | 14 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 0 | 8 | 0 | 18 | 3 | 1 | 71 | 5 | 76 |
| 39 | 14 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 9 | 0 | 18 | 3 | 1 | 70 | 5 | 75 |
I'm so sad to see your last entry without your beautiful pictures, but I completely understand your reasons for submitting without them.
However, the story was a little jarring in places and sometimes difficult to decipher what was going on or who was talking to whom and unfortunately, no pictures made that issue a little more noticeable. You were also missing a summary before the start of your story. I will say that the very ending with Lottie and Seth was a great addition and the scene where Ala sacrifices herself was exceptional. I wish she could have had a happier end, but she went out how she wanted to and managed to take down a formidable foe in the process (at least I hope so!). Thanks for the delightful trip through Ala's story, LadyAwesome!I'm so sad that Ala did not get a happy ever after. However, you did a wonderful job "showing" us your story without pictures. The flow was a little off in places but, overall, you did a wonderful job closing this story out.
Something I haven't realized until I was reading your text without pictures: there's something of Sherrilyn Kenyon in your writing, a poignancy to your caracters and your ideas. It works for her; you might want to hold on to that. Having said that, I did have trouble following the story in some points; I would recommend having someone else read (or re-reading it yourself) before submitting. The confusion made what would otherwise have been a truly poignant ending a little hard to get to. (In other words, it didn't flow very well) Nonetheless, I am grateful that you pushed on and finished, I truly enjoy your stories. The mood was great, your characters are poignant, and the storyline is enjoyable. Thanks for everything!
Aww! Sorry about your game having issues! The imagery was perfect, though! It seems that a story without pictures is easier to imagine than a sotry with pictures!
Some of the scenes were a little rough though, and you forgot to include a summary before your story as well, so I had to deduct a point in the rules section. Awesome job, though!
missroxor
| CREATIVITY (45) | Originality (15) | Excerpt (10) | Character (10) | Event (10) | SCENES (30) | Pictures (10) | Mood (10) | Staging (10) | FLOW (20) | RULES (4) | CC (1) | TOTAL (100) | BONUS (5) | OVERALL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 45 | 15 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 30 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 20 | 3 | 0 | 98 | 5 | 103 |
| 45 | 15 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 30 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 20 | 4 | 0 | 99 | 4 | 103 |
| 45 | 15 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 30 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 20 | 3 | 0 | 98 | 4 | 102 |
You were unfortunately over the word count limit, so a point was lost in the rules section. Jada's father is just... ugh! He definitely got what was coming to him and Jada being the one to finally take him down and expose him for what/who he is was just perfection. I like that you kept your story unique throughout the contest and you managed to wrap up a complex story up beautifully. Two thumbs up!
You horrid little wretch. To survive the gunshot wound and then be suffocated by his father? I almost stopped reading there. We never heard the fate of Olivia but I guess it is safe to assume that she didn't make it either. Such a tear jerker and really not quite what I was hoping for, though I suppose most of these kinds of stories have collateral damage of the very people you loved. Though I wanted a happy ending, the story was amazing.
By far your strongest round, I loved every single second, and couldn't stop reading. Not that your previous chapters were bad, mind you. I think you nailed it. Except for the word count... oops! Thank you so very, very much for participating, for taking the time to craft a really good story.
Awesome, Awesome story!
It was so very well put together and presented with fantastic screenshots! The effects were amazing as well! Very nice work, indeed! But, you did go over your word count with your bonus, so I had to deduct a point from the rules section.
Final Scores
Final scores are averaged between all rounds. I will be posting everyone’s scores, even those who, unfortunately, had to withdraw. As you can see, there was a very, very close call between our winner and runner-up.
| Contestant | Total |
|---|---|
| Spladoum | 94.8 |
| ReyaD | 96.5 |
| ForeverCamp | 38.1 |
| Melibee1323 | 36.6 |
| Ghost_sdoj | 92.9 |
| Viva1994 | 92.6 |
| Qnshr5 | 100.4 |
| Waterjay | 19.5 |
| Tamlyn | 99.7 |
| Sabri5 | 86.2 |
| Prawler | 36.6 |
| Buckley | 19.8 |
| LadyAwesome | 90.8 |
| missroxor | 100.9 |
Congratulations missroxor! And really, congratulations everyone. You all did amazing. For those of you who stuck with it, I am so very proud of you for dedicating yourself to this. I know it hasn’t been easy. I know that most of you have had some kind of computer issues to battle to get through this but you all made it and that is fantastic all on its own. For those of you unable to finish, don’t worry. I don’t hold grudges…for long! Just kidding, I really don’t. I do hope to see all of you around, perhaps participating in the next story contest? *wink wink*
Also, just a little something extra for everyone that participated. Superlatives!!! The judges and I got together and nominated who we thought deserved special recognition in certain categories so without further ado:
- Best Heroine – Qnshr5
- Best Villian – ReyaD
- Most Improved – Ghostsdoj
- Best Photos – Tamlyn
- Best Moment of Redemption – Viva1994 for Valentina
- Most Realistic Characters – Spladoum
- Best Plot Twists – Missroxor
- Most Stubborn – Sabri5
- Most Ambitious Plot – LadyAwesome
- Most Promising Start – Melibee1323
- Best Unresolved Cliffhanger – ForeverCamp
- Most Puzzling Character We Want to Know More About – Waterjay
- Best Use of Words – Buckley
- Best Set We Didn’t See Enough Of – Prawler
Again, congratulations and a job well done to EVERYONE involved!
Heaven Sims | Avendale Legacy
"On the internet, you can be anything you want. It's strange that so many people choose to be stupid."
"On the internet, you can be anything you want. It's strange that so many people choose to be stupid."