Replies: 8005 (Who?), Viewed: 905131 times.
Page 50 of 321
Lab Assistant
#1226 Old 23rd Aug 2012 at 2:05 AM
My stupid sim made the breakfast. He went to the outdoor-barbaque table instead of the *nearly* indoor table. Now I'm thinking how to revenge.

~ Nobody will really care about this ~
Advertisement
Scholar
#1227 Old 23rd Aug 2012 at 3:16 AM
Oh god. I had to stop and walk away for a while at "WHO LEFT ALL THESE BABIES LYING AROUND." I was pretty sure laughter was endangering my respiratory system.

Also, I'm now going to make sure every pregnant sim's household in all of my saves has a fully-stocked bar.

Snickerson: a Random Legacy Challenge. There are zebras involved. Zebras.
Forum Resident
#1228 Old 23rd Aug 2012 at 8:15 AM Last edited by chreai : 24th Aug 2012 at 1:48 PM.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinghamSmith
WHAT

WHO LEFT ALL THESE BABIES LYING AROUND

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE FREELOADERS


^This made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself. Your storytelling skills are beyond words!


On a more on-topic note: I sent my Sim to the Chinese market today, queued up for her to buy some items from the relic merchant. She walks over to the register....and that's it. Stands there for about a Sim-hour just staring at the clerk silently. I'm just like, "uhhh, so are you going to talk to the guy?? Can't shop if ya don't say somethin', chick!" Eventually, I got fed up and just saved and quit, as I had to go to work anyway. Probably will have to requeue when I start my game up again.

EDIT: So I figured out what the problem was. The clerk was "stuck". Had to reset him. Fortunately, he arrived shortly at the market again so I could finally shop.

My TS3 Sims, patterns & recolors

Check out my Simblr! (TS3-focused, sometimes NSFW)
♥ Receptacle Refugee ♥
Theorist
#1229 Old 23rd Aug 2012 at 2:29 PM Last edited by vhanster : 23rd Aug 2012 at 3:14 PM.
I was fooling around with the Assination Mod again and made a Sim murder a guess in front of her unfortunate house-mate. The thing is, it was the traumatized witness who got the Assasination Skill, instead of the killer who got arrested a few seconds later.
Top Secret Researcher
#1230 Old 23rd Aug 2012 at 3:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by vhanster
Anyway, I was fooling around with the Assination Mod again and made a Sim murder a guess in front of her unfortunate house-mate. The thing is, it was the traumatized witness who got the Assasination Skill, instead of the killer who got arrested a few seconds later.


I'm afraid I have you beaten there again: I once had Larry Scumthorpe temporarily lose his mind and start taking pot-shots at the paparazzi with a 9mm pistol (which is probably the only genuinely laudable thing he's ever done) and then saw the assassination mod blame a 1-year-old Sprog who hadn't yet learned to walk for their deaths instead.

...Actually, wait, that's not really much of a WTF moment. For Sprog, being a suspect in multiple homicide cases as a crawling baby is perfectly in character.
Inventor
#1231 Old 23rd Aug 2012 at 8:04 PM Last edited by Kestie Freehawk : 23rd Aug 2012 at 8:23 PM.
My newest baby is in a new town that isnt well populated yet and yet there are already Paparazzi, who seem to be his only freind, but ummm his mommy is Lisa Bunch Pyrolette and ummm she had a blond child. All the others are dark haired. Shortly after the baby aged up to child with a blond pageboyish cut, his mommy had a scandal message with a townie that I didnt know she knew, that looks like the boys daddy ...... ewwwww. I wanted lil Michaels. WTF

Some people have a Guardian Angel, you know a little guy sitting on your shoulder that tells you right from wrong, but mine is an Idiot.
Field Researcher
#1232 Old 23rd Aug 2012 at 8:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinghamSmith
To keep things from getting too Scumthorpe-centred, allow me to introduce another recurring comedic figure in my town.

Ever looked at the pink/red skintone slider and wondered what you're meant to do with it? I suppose there are many ways to utilize it depending on what you want out of the game. I know, for instance, that it'll probably be used for some fairies in Supernatural, and that a lot of people have already used it to make what I've seen referred to as Berry Sweet sims.

Being a rather more cynical person with a seemingly-inherent predisposition towards black humour, however, I made this instead:



Why does he make me think he's the demon of bacon?
Scholar
#1233 Old 23rd Aug 2012 at 8:37 PM
Sim's Mind: OK, someone in my house is upgrading the sink in the kitchen. I have a load of dishes I want to wash. I could cancel out the action or wash the dishes in another sink. But no, I think I'll just stand here for a few hours and wait -- even though it's being cancelled from my queue. I'll just wait and stand holding all these plates -- all night if I have to.

Later that day: OMG I really have to pee! ACK! My brother is blocking the door on his way out of the bathroom! Oh NO! That's OK, I'll go play with the toy box. Sure it will take him only a second to get out of the doorway, but I have IMPORTANT THINGS to do. Oh no! I peed my pants! How did this happen?!
Inventor
#1234 Old 23rd Aug 2012 at 9:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kewpie
Sim's Mind: OK, someone in my house is upgrading the sink in the kitchen. I have a load of dishes I want to wash. I could cancel out the action or wash the dishes in another sink. But no, I think I'll just stand here for a few hours and wait -- even though it's being cancelled from my queue. I'll just wait and stand holding all these plates -- all night if I have to.

Later that day: OMG I really have to pee! ACK! My brother is blocking the door on his way out of the bathroom! Oh NO! That's OK, I'll go play with the toy box. Sure it will take him only a second to get out of the doorway, but I have IMPORTANT THINGS to do. Oh no! I peed my pants! How did this happen?!


The sim brother WANTED the other to pee its pants so it could point and laugh so he blocked the door and knowing that other sims have the attention span of a flea waited for a second and then forgot his evil. The playing sim forgot her need to pee. They both had an increase in fun level. Sims aare EVIL!

Some people have a Guardian Angel, you know a little guy sitting on your shoulder that tells you right from wrong, but mine is an Idiot.
Inventor
#1235 Old 23rd Aug 2012 at 9:42 PM
My Sim's boss came to visit. He went and picked up one of their baby girls. When he left, it appeared he was taking the baby with him. Instead, he lays the baby down in the lobby of their apartment building, then leaves.
Theorist
#1236 Old 24th Aug 2012 at 3:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinghamSmith
I'm afraid I have you beaten there again: I once had Larry Scumthorpe temporarily lose his mind and start taking pot-shots at the paparazzi with a 9mm pistol (which is probably the only genuinely laudable thing he's ever done) and then saw the assassination mod blame a 1-year-old Sprog who hadn't yet learned to walk for their deaths instead.

...Actually, wait, that's not really much of a WTF moment. For Sprog, being a suspect in multiple homicide cases as a crawling baby is perfectly in character.


Haha. Blame the PlumbBob. It's what identifies the culprit, and the assassination skill will stupidly pin down the blame to whoever the trollBob is pointing at, regardless of their actual involvement in the murder.

On a side note, I seem to have a Sim who is a complete opposite to the Scumthorpes in terms of their reaction to events. He keeps on getting the"Witness Betrayal" and "Mourning" moodlets even when the bad things he witnessed is happening to his enemies. Makes me wanna scream "THEY ARE NOT YOUR LOVED ONES, YOU DOLT!"
Lab Assistant
#1237 Old 24th Aug 2012 at 9:21 AM
One of my sims started giving birth. So her wife (thanks to Twallans Woohooer I can combine genes of chicks lol) got the "Take to hospital" action. Few seconds later I've noticed that preggy lass went to hospital alone and her wife was still laying on the bed, so I tried to tell her to get up. Nothing. Go there. Nothing. Do that. Nothing.

Thats why:



Her cat blocked her with FEATHER. OMG I can't get up there's FEATHER on my way, aaaa, it's blocking my way, oh no, I have to stay on the bed, wifey will be fine without me for sure with her first child. Please move that!

I wonder if it would kill her if I wouldn't move that damn thing.
Inventor
#1238 Old 25th Aug 2012 at 2:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by monosagrado
My stupid sim made the breakfast. He went to the outdoor-barbaque table instead of the *nearly* indoor table. Now I'm thinking how to revenge.


You would be surprised at how many times this has happened to me.
Scholar
#1239 Old 25th Aug 2012 at 9:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by leo06girl
You would be surprised at how many times this has happened to me.


They love that picnic table. I think there must be some secret abnormally high attraction level or fun factor to it, because if you own a picnic table they will literally default to it EVERY TIME.

Snickerson: a Random Legacy Challenge. There are zebras involved. Zebras.
Top Secret Researcher
#1240 Old 25th Aug 2012 at 8:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zokugai
They love that picnic table. I think there must be some secret abnormally high attraction level or fun factor to it, because if you own a picnic table they will literally default to it EVERY TIME.
Why not? It's a really nice day for a picnic. For some reason, it's always a really nice day for a picnic.
Lab Assistant
#1241 Old 25th Aug 2012 at 8:51 PM
Wait until Seasons.

Even with hail it will be nice weather for a picnic.
Theorist
#1242 Old 26th Aug 2012 at 3:39 PM
I had this Sim with two vehicles in her inventory (what) - which includes a 'default' motorbike and a car she got as a career reward. So I wanted to check out how fast this shiny new car is, but wasn't too eager to set it as the default vehicle. So while she was at a community lot after performing some job, I decided to try the car by selecting the 'go home' option from the inventory. What the Sim did was run all the way home, reach her front porch, take out the car, and only then did she attempt to drive home.
Forum Resident
#1243 Old 26th Aug 2012 at 4:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinghamSmith
And now, another set of absurd screenshots from a while back documenting how Lester, Carrie and Lolita Scumthorpe came into the world.

A word of warning: It isn't pretty.

We've all seen less than ideal Sim births. Pregnant sims cycling to the hospital, husbands in the passenger seat of cars while their wife's in labour, everyone else in the family apparently far less calm and far more freaked out than the poor woman who's about to have a baby, the list goes on.

But all of these stories pale in comparison to the cringeworthy tale of Kathryn Scumthorpe and the worst birth ever.

I should have realised that this entire pregnancy was headed for disaster one day into it when Kathryn first discovered she was expecting triplets and then immediately headed for the bar. But hey, I also learned something that evening:

There is absolutely nothing stopping pregnant sims from drinking alcohol, regardless of the fact that they can't do things like skinny-dip or seek employment.


I can only assume it's a product of all the euphemisms the developers used in an attempt to keep the rating down. It seems they were so intent on not mentioning alcohol that it led to them overlooking the fact that they'd allowed virtual pregnant women to happily pour it down their throats as much as they like. And that's so ironic it's glorious.


QUALITY ANTENATAL CARE

My feelings of impending doom were not helped one bit by Larry's subsequent reaction to his wife announcing her pregnancy:


...Yeah.

So the second and third trimesters went about as well as you'd expect for anybody involved with this bunch of idiots, and on the third day Rick Scumthorpe witnessed Kathryn's water breaking. At this point, all notions of logic, reason and basic human decency went right out of the window.


"ohgodthebabiesarecomingthebabiesarecoming HELP"


"Oh, hell no, you're on your own here."

And then Rick just wandered off and left her there. While more or less pulling a literal trollface.


DITCHING BIRTHING MOTHERS LIKE A BOSS

He then followed up with what has to be the douchiest sim expression ever:


Are you there, Rick? It's your sim god talking: You are an asshole.

Off-camera, a 4-year-old Sprog happily sat around watching this catastrophe and repeatedly pointed and laughed at his mother's plight. My god, could this situation possibly get any more horrendous?

And where the hell's Larry in all of this-


YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS


And so Kathryn was left in the lounge screaming bloody murder and having to simultaneously cope with three full-term foetuses and one full-capacity bladder while Larry and Rick drank themselves into a stupor in the dining room.

Rick apparently felt this was an appropriate time to hone his bartending skills...


...Even though he doesn't have any.

Larry, meanwhile, decided to talk business with an executive from his hideously unethical mining corporation and still totally failed to notice his trophy wife trying to give birth in the next room:


WHAT DO YOU MEAN O.S.H.A COMPLIANCE


DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE IF THERE'S TIBERIUM IN THE WATER SUPPLY

And so after several hours of horrifying, epidural-less and totally unsupervised labour, the current Scumthorpe triplets were finally born in a messy puddle on the floor, after which Kathryn immediately staggered upstairs and mercifully passed out. Sprog had also fallen asleep on the floor by this point, and Rick had broken so many bottles in a futile effort to make cocktails that his grandchildren will probably still be picking up the shards of broken glass.



Around this time, Larry finally noticed the existence of his new children:


WHAT

WHO LEFT ALL THESE BABIES LYING AROUND


GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE FREELOADERS

And then the cumulative effects of several bottles of scotch all hit him at once and forced him to kneel before the porcelain throne.


Charming.

So what have we learned here today? Well, quite a few things. That QUALITY PARENTING begins at conception. That EA's use of family-friendly euphemisms can sometimes hilariously undermine their efforts to prevent controversial sim behaviour. But most of all, that no matter how badly your pregnant sim's friends and family react to her having a baby, at least you can take comfort in one thing: They're not married to a Scumthorpe.

Well, at least until I figure out how to make them into downloads for everyone who requested them. Then all bets are off.


You just made my day. After a week from 'ell and another about to begin.

This was the funniest thing that I read. you are great story teller. You really should think about doing your own story.
Forum Resident
#1244 Old 26th Aug 2012 at 5:03 PM Last edited by chreai : 26th Aug 2012 at 10:56 PM.
This is a day (well, more like half a day) in the life of Chiquita Geiger (her name was randomly generated and I thought, "?! Sure, what the heck." lol. Hey, at least her last name isn't Banana!):

Get up. Make breakfast. Kitchen starts on fire. "Omg, FIRE!!!" Fire dance! Stop fire dance. "Aw, man! I'm hungry!" "Oh yeah, my kitchen's on fire. OMG, FIRE!!" Resume fire dance. Neighbor Iris Adams comes running in, joins in fire dance. (Where the heck did she come from??) Whole fire department shows up to put out fire, simultaneously praising my sim for supposedly putting out the fire herself and scolding her for starting it in the first place. Fire's out. Random neighbor Laurita Pepper is spotted running into the backyard and being chased by a fireman. Firemen leave. Laurita moves to the front porch and complains about not being able to get inside the house. Repeatedly. Finally goes back home. Chiquita makes pancakes. On her way to the table to eat them, her cell phone rings. It's her friend Marlene. Chiquita sets her plate on the floor, instead of on the nearby table. "Aw, man...I'M HUNGRY!!" "Ok, I'll talk to Marlene." Answers phone. Listens for five minutes. Hangs up. Forgets she made pancakes, goes to the kitchen to make waffles.

I'll stop there. But, really, practically her whole day was like this. I think the only way it could have gotten more ridiculous is if a meteor had crashed and killed everyone.

My TS3 Sims, patterns & recolors

Check out my Simblr! (TS3-focused, sometimes NSFW)
♥ Receptacle Refugee ♥
Forum Resident
#1245 Old 28th Aug 2012 at 2:24 AM
A stray cat shows up Brandee's front porch. She has a lifetime wish to adopt a bunch of strays, so I send Brandee out to go play with the darling little kitty. I'm fairly new with the Pets expansion, so I'm trying to figure out how long it'll take before the stray cat will become friends with me.

All of a sudden, the cat cancels Brandee's interactions to have fun with it and turns to leave. I'm like, "What the heck?" so I try to click on the cat. It tells me, "Stray cat is going home."

Uh...what? Stray cats don't HAVE a home. That's why they're STRAYS.

That's like talking to a hobo off the street and suddenly he leaves and the game tells you, "Homeless Man is going home."

The Overlord Legacy - Taking over the world one generation at a time.
The Addison House - The reality show where eight contestants are crammed in one haunted house to survive.
Theorist
DELETED POST
28th Aug 2012 at 2:38 AM
This message has been deleted by vhanster.
Forum Resident
#1246 Old 28th Aug 2012 at 2:42 AM
Next time that happens, I'm going to follow that freaking cat, and if it ends up having an actual home, that little liar will never be allowed to beg on my front porch again.

The Overlord Legacy - Taking over the world one generation at a time.
The Addison House - The reality show where eight contestants are crammed in one haunted house to survive.
Top Secret Researcher
#1247 Old 28th Aug 2012 at 2:51 AM
And now, time for some more recent pictures of the Scumthorpe triplets.


First up, an experiment: Since everyone seemed quite interested in how Sprog's weird genetics would ultimately pan out a couple of pages back, I decided to repeat the same process with Lolita Scumthorpe, going into CAS with her and then briefly switching to Young Adult to see what would happen.

Apparently, future Lolita will look like this:


...Ok, I think we all have a serious question for Larry Scumthorpe now:

How the hell do you keep fathering pretty daughters?

You look like someone accidentally spliced Basil Fawlty and Snidely Whiplash together in a David Cronenberg-esque teleportation disaster, and yet you somehow managed to produce THAT? My god, Scumthorpe genetics make about as much sense as Scumthorpe behaviour.

And by that, of course, I mean NONE! NONE WHATSOEVER!

Unfortunately, Larry's bizarrely good genes aren't always enough to counteract the effects of severe Tiberium poisoning and hereditary insanity. Lester, of course, is still a total genetic catastrophe:


JESUS CHRIST

IT'S LIKE ONE OF THE OTTOMAS TWINS WENT ON A HUNGER STRIKE



And here I'm honestly kind of disturbed. This is Uncanny Valley levels of wrong.

But then again, maybe it's just his weird facial expressions that make him look like a failed attempt at genetically engineering a half-alien overlord to rule over mankind. Maybe if he'd just smile and giggle and coo like a regular baby he'd stop being so profoundly offputting-


-Ok, scratch that. Lester, stop smiling. Please, please stop smiling. In fact, never smile again as long as you live. It's often said that smiles make any human face look more appealing. Your very existence proves otherwise.

However, despite appearing so grossly dissimilar to one another that they barely even look like members of the same species, Lester and Lolita nonetheless seem to have the only genuinely positive relationship in the entire family. In a household where everyone else either wants to murder each other, has already done so or happens to be an omnicidal maniac, these two happily play together and chat about anything their limited vocabularies allow them to whenever Sprog isn't trying to use one of them as his personal punching bag.

It's almost sweet, in an incredibly dysfunctional kind of way.



Unfortunately, they also seem to share bad habits as well as toys:


WHY ARE ALL MY BABIES ALCOHOLICS

Of course, even Tiberium-addled crazy babies need to be cared for to some degree, and since the presence of Larry Scumthorpe is about as beneficial to the well-being of small children as the OMGWTFBBQ the job of feeding and changing them usually falls to Rick Scumthorpe. However, whether this state of affairs can continue for much longer is highly uncertain, because doing so is increasingly starting to drive him mad.


Especially when Lester is involved.

You can certainly see where Rick's coming from. Since both his brothers moved away and severed all contact with the rest of the family, he's had to spend most of his twenties as the only person bothering to clean up after a succession of increasingly deranged and creepy babies that his father openly admits are attempts to produce a better male heir to the family fortune than himself. He's now nothing but a failed heir, set aside and most likely written out of his father's will in favour of a sickly little toddler who may not even have reached the age of majority by the time Larry dies.

And he knows it.

One day, he apparently decided that he'd finally had enough.


"Oh, you're going on a stroll alright, Lester. A ONE-WAY STROLL TO THE GATES OF HELL!"


But, you think, this has to be a misleading screenshot. Surely I'm just implying the stroller is rolling towards something dangerous when it's actually in a field-


-Nope!

Of course, since you can't actually push your 1-year-old Gollum-esque mutant half-brother down a steep hill to his almost certain death in this game, Lester survived, and will therefore continue to be a constant source of discomfort and inconvenience to everyone around him for the next several decades.


"...I hate you, Lester. So very, very much."

----------------------------------------------------------------

And now, a preview of things to come in my town. Because due to the impending release of Supernatural, the next month will inevitably be a time of great upheaval for SimNation. How could it not be when within a matter of weeks the existence of magic will become public knowledge, the dead will begin to walk the earth and fairies and werewolves will be discovered in Moonlight Falls? Sure, sim society will most likely manage to adapt to all this, just as it did upon first contact with all its existing occult minorities. But the fact remains that for many sims, life will never be the same again.

And so, as magic begins to re-enter the public eye, a mysterious, mystical new member of the Scumthorpe dynasty prepares to reveal himself to the world:


Let the speculation as to his nature begin...
Forum Resident
#1248 Old 28th Aug 2012 at 2:55 AM
MinghamSmith, do you have this story written down somewhere, and if you do, can I get a link to it? I am thoroughly entertained and I'd love to see more of it!

The Overlord Legacy - Taking over the world one generation at a time.
The Addison House - The reality show where eight contestants are crammed in one haunted house to survive.
Theorist
#1249 Old 28th Aug 2012 at 6:16 AM Last edited by vhanster : 28th Aug 2012 at 8:07 AM.
@MinghamSmith: You almost convince me to start finding a cure for my babyllergy and start playing generations/legacy instead of disabling the aging. Almost
Regardless, I am now curious how Carrie and Lester would look like once adult. Seeing Lester, he'd probably become some sort of nightmare fuel (as if he isn't already).
Field Researcher
#1250 Old 28th Aug 2012 at 7:22 AM
@MinghamSmith--OMG, you're funny! More, more, give us more!
Page 50 of 321
Back to top