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Lab Assistant
#1126 Old 29th Jul 2012 at 8:14 PM
So some woman appeared at the local gym.
> Click <
And that moment was when I decided that I was no longer going to let my sims live in Starlight Shores. Ever again.
Test Subject
#1127 Old 29th Jul 2012 at 8:24 PM
I don't know about this one, buuut this annoys me.

I invite one of my Sim's friends over, they greet and then they go to the piano and take out the tip jar. They don't go until about 5AM.
Top Secret Researcher
#1128 Old 30th Jul 2012 at 4:15 AM
Earlier, 2/3 of a set of triplets (named Lester and Lolita Scumthorpe) learned to talk and started chatting with each other, having figured out how to do so a few days after their sister Carrie. The resulting conversation was... precocious. And more than a little disconcerting.

What's this? Oh, just some babies discussing the economy. Nothing interesting to see here.

Along with a debate over... domestic violence? Current divorce rates? The breakdown of the nuclear family and its implications for the current generation of sims? I'd normally be shocked that a couple of 1-year-olds are even fully aware of the concept of relationships going down the toilet, but given how horribly dysfunctional the Scumthorpe dynasty is I guess the only surprising thing here is that they're articulate enough to have a coherent conversation about it.

what are you planning here babies

what are you planning

An engagement ring?

An engagement ring?

Ok, Lester, I need to highlight a couple of very important issues here: You're far, far too young to be discussing anything even vaguely linked to romantic relationships, and unless I'm very much mistaken you're proposing to your own sister. Please, for the love of god, talk about literally anything else before this post goes from baffling to downright nightmarish-

-Yeah, ok, jellyfish. That doesn't sound creepy or incestuous. Just have a nice, normal toddler conversation about jellyfish and other poisonous marine lifeforms.

Wait, what the hell?
Department of Post-Mortem Communications
#1129 Old 30th Jul 2012 at 8:47 AM
When a horse is in a box stall, idle Sims swarm to let it out; when a horse is NOT in a box stall, idle Sims swarm to put it in. This is almost as bad as family oriented Sims who constantly pick up a sleeping toddler from their crib.
Lab Assistant
#1130 Old 30th Jul 2012 at 1:18 PM
Talking of things Sims do repeatedly over and over again to piss you off, my family is constantly trying to feed the pets pet treats, when they're not hungry. I think they must hate eachother by now, because feeding a pet a treat when it's not hungry minuses relationship points.
Lab Assistant
#1131 Old 30th Jul 2012 at 2:38 PM
A random townie generated by the game, as Paparazzi

So my Singer Sim was performing a gig. She started singing, and then....

The game keeps on spawning bizarre clothed townie. I almost cried.
Field Researcher
#1132 Old 30th Jul 2012 at 4:28 PM
I made a mean spirited mom. Worst decision ever. All she does is insult her kid. Then the sister-in-law is hot-headed, so she goes and beats up the mom.
In a nutshell, when the mom of the household goes around insulting everyone, I have to pull her away. I eventually got sick of it and changed her trait to family orientated.

"What could I do? What should I do? What could I... what should I... It's not like I'm crying or anything! I love you!" ~Love Is War
#1133 Old 30th Jul 2012 at 8:40 PM
Originally Posted by krisn18
My brother was so excited when I showed him how to get a Simbot... Only issue was that his Simbot was an alcoholic. Anytime they would try to go somewhere together, he would walk off to have a drink. It was unusual... Almost tragic.

Im surprised that not more simbots are drinkers because of the way most sims treat them when they see them
#1134 Old 31st Jul 2012 at 5:58 AM
One of my Sim had mastered his martial arts skill and rolled a wish to break a space rock block, so I assigned him to do so. The problem is, he spends 2-3 hours petting and stroking the space rock instead of breaking it. Seriously, being nice to the rock isn't going to make it any easier to break, so don't waste time doing so
#1135 Old 31st Jul 2012 at 6:15 PM
I don't know if it's a mod conflict or just sim stupidity, but many times I tell my sims to woohoo. They get lovey dovey and then go sit on their bed. Suddenly one of them will jump up and shower. Or maybe the other one will just suddenly start searching the web or cleaning the toilet. Sometimes they will both go to sleep. If I didn't cancel out these actions, they'd likely never do it on their own.
Lab Assistant
#1136 Old 31st Jul 2012 at 8:59 PM
I had to use resetsim on a glitched Proporiter because the game kept on playing the "simfest-sound" - but of course my townies aren't so smart, that when the propoiter isn't there, you go home ... so one of my townies put down his toddler son on stage and went to cheer with the crowd - making the toddler (who was sucking his fingers as the most impressing trick :p) the entertainment for the day...

Oh child, you're born to perform...
Department of Post-Mortem Communications
#1137 Old 31st Jul 2012 at 11:06 PM
This never fails to annoy me and happened right now again: Sim gets sick, stands next to a bathroom, but there are three on the lot, so Sim chooses the one at the other end of the lot and on a different floor in order to vomit, to get there Sim has to run through the first bathroom. Always!
Top Secret Researcher
#1138 Old 1st Aug 2012 at 3:14 AM
And now, more QUALITY PARENTING from my town. Along with another case of animations working perfectly for totally different scenarios to whatever they're meant to represent.

Go on, idiot, play with your baby. I know you're a depressingly corrupt industrialist who loves nothing else in the world so much as money and power, but it's not exactly hard. Here, I'll guide you through it.

Left click ---> Attack With The Claw.

That's it. Even you can't screw this up.

Hey, what's that on your hand-



And so the psychologists of SimNation were granted a golden opportunity to research the previously-unknown effects of PTSD on 1-year-olds.

Every cloud has a silver lining, I guess. Even if the cloud in question is a horrifying claw gauntlet being gleefully waved around at a baby girl by her own father.

Forum Resident
#1139 Old 1st Aug 2012 at 8:45 AM
I just wanna say I thoroughly enjoy every post you make about your highly dysfunctional Scumthorpe family! Have you made them available on the exchange?? I would absolutely love to add them to my town!
#1140 Old 1st Aug 2012 at 10:35 AM
If I had a nickle for every time I saw a sim stand up from the toilet in order to pee themselves...well, I'd have a lot of nickles.

Snickerson: a Random Legacy Challenge. There are zebras involved. Zebras.
Top Secret Researcher
#1141 Old 1st Aug 2012 at 11:43 AM Last edited by MinghamSmith : 1st Aug 2012 at 11:57 AM. Reason: Forgot one picture
Originally Posted by chreai
I just wanna say I thoroughly enjoy every post you make about your highly dysfunctional Scumthorpe family! Have you made them available on the exchange?? I would absolutely love to add them to my town!

I haven't yet, though I guess I could try uploading them to somewhere. Master Controller would be necessary to edit their family relationships, though, there's way too many of them to fit in a single household. Just what SimNation needs, a powerful and influential family with a genetic predisposition to evil that tend to breed like rats.

If nobody has a problem with me spending a post explaining it, their family tree is... complicated. To avoid getting too off-topic, though, I'll include some silly pictures of the lesser-known members of the family for everyone to laugh at:

Original couple: Larry and Honoria Scumthorpe

Compared to the rest of the family, Larry Scumthorpe's first wife Honoria rarely appears in screenshots on account of being dead. Having been fatally shot by Larry when I tried testing Desecrate's Weapons System, she occasionally shows up as a ghost to bicker about things and annoy him.

Amusingly, they're listed as Old Enemies in the relationship panel whenever she appears.

Before the disastrous collapse of their marriage, Larry and Honoria had the following four children, all of whom are now young adults:

- Alice Scumthorpe, the only genuinely nice member of the entire family and the only pretty one. Seriously, how did the absolute cesspit that is the Scumthorpe genepool produce someone like this?

Alice spent a long time dead just after becoming a young adult (she glitched out, froze in place and starved to death, which I chose to interpret as a mental breakdown resulting from having to live with everyone else in the family) until one of her brothers stole her urn from the family home and made Ambrosia for her, thus making her simultaneously the oldest and the middle child. Since then, she's started dating a female elf. Good for her, unlike most of her relatives she's actually capable of a healthy relationship. :D

-Spurgin Scumthorpe, a fat, neckbeardy internet troll who up until recently lived in the family basement and wrote crappy sci-fi novels for a living. He's since made the major lifestyle change of moving out of his dad's house... and into someone else's basement.

Notable works: A dreadful 15-book series known as The Adventures of Thrust Rogerson, an unsuccessful fantasy novel I can't remember the name of, The History of 4chan, vol. I and an incomprehensible pregnancy book called how is babby formed.

-Rick Scumthorpe, an obnoxious, moronic douchebag who literally nobody likes. Usually left to feed the babies because neither his dad nor his stepmother can be bothered, has a personality roughly equivalent to a Romance sim but has yet to actually lose his virginity. He's Mean-Spirited, but ultimately too pathetic to be genuinely hurtful.

I know the game refrains from mentioning alcohol to keep the rating down. But there is no way he isn't drunk here.

-Darius Scumthorpe, an outright supervillain. Who still has the moral high ground compared to the rest of his family, and usually goes by the name Darius Victor in an attempt to deny that he is a Scumthorpe at all. And also so he has an excuse to use variants of "history is written by the victors" as a cheesy villain catchphrase.

Here he is after paying a visit to the house he grew up in and detonating his dad's car.

He also resurrected his big sister as a young adult, owns a black cat called Ishtar and due to weird science is the "father" of a clone-son called Alexander and two Simbots called Killbot I and II. This probably makes him the most successful of Larry Scumthorpe's offspring so far. The irony of this is not lost on me.

Second couple: Larry and Kathryn Scumthorpe

After murdering his first wife and getting away with it, Larry married Kathryn Trollope, an embarrassingly blatant gold digger who at the time was younger than his own youngest son. Of course, being over twice your new trophy wife's age doesn't stop you from producing more kids. For whatever reason, this is where the really awful children began to show up:

-Sprog Scumthorpe, a miserable little ball of hatred and rage who goes far, far beyond his dad's cartoonish horribleness to the point where he's more or less an outright psychopath. As a child, his traits are Evil, Insane, Mean-Spirited and Pyromaniac, resulting in him frequently rolling creepy wants to watch his own family members die, openly rejoicing at the misery of others, suffering from a rebellious (good?) hand that frequently tries to strangle him and autonomously hissing and barking like an animal. Here he is somehow gaining the red Emperor of Evil glow despite being an elementary schooler.

(Well, an elementary schooler in theory, anyway. Mercifully for the rest of the town's children, he's never actually bothered to go to school. It cuts into his busy schedule of pointless violence, cruelty and sadism, and when it comes to the automatic Generations punishment system he just doesn't give a damn)

-Lester, Carrie and Lolita Scumthorpe, the bizarre Tiberium-addled babies seen in most of my recent posts. Lester is the emaciated, freaky-looking one, Carrie is the long-haired one who openly facepalmed at the rest of her family as a newborn and Lolita is the hilariously unfortunate one with pigtails. All three have imaginary friends at the moment, though for variety's sake I think I'll have Sprog snatch at least two of the dolls and throw them in the fire in front of them. It sounds like something he'd do.

So that's eight mostly-appalling children by two wives, with an age gap of multiple decades between the oldest and the youngest in real-world terms and one son who wants nothing to do with the family at all. It's like a modern comedy version of the Borgias at times.

Finally, there's also Larry's younger brother, Sid Scumthorpe. Sid is a lecherous middle-aged man who struts around in a leisure suit like it's still the '70s, drives a blatant midlife crisis car called the Compensator, has a hideous combover and may very well be the least trustworthy-looking man on earth.


Sid is also connected to a planned future addition to the family who'll probably show up when Supernatural comes out. Watch this space...
#1142 Old 1st Aug 2012 at 12:18 PM
For sooo long I've been trying to play the firefighter career of saving 30 people,
but I haven't gotten far cuz I've gotten so many glitches in the said career that I often gotta start the deal all over again. I also used porter several times to move the sim to a new world which resets the saving people progress back to 0/30.
This time I decided to concentrate fully only on this goal and not to use any mods or cheats to prevent glitches so I'd finally archive the 30/30 !

Well it's been two weeks now of nonstop playing and all the game has generated for me have been small fires and building disasters ... lucky me... not much saving here. Well last night I finally got an earthquake and a mission to save 4 people and after that another two missions with 4 more people! Once I was half way done I decided to quickly save in case the game would crash or glitch so I wouldn't lose the jackpot.
So a second after saving I realize my sim is gazing at the sky and Boom, a meteor strucks down.

My sim: "Expire"
I: O_O

This is so wrong
Forum Resident
#1143 Old 1st Aug 2012 at 3:46 PM
Originally Posted by MinghamSmith
Master Controller would be necessary to edit their family relationships, though, there's way too many of them to fit in a single household.

I'm certain you've moved a few of them into seperate homes by now...? Perhaps you could upload each household individually, to ensure that those without MC can still have the Scumthorpe experience. I, for one, wouldn't mind starting off with the family(s) as is. Tho, I don't know....Lester is pretty creepy. I might want the opportunity to start from scratch with all new offspring. On the other hand, Lolita is just so darn cute!!

(As far as I know, there is a way to save your current family to the Sim bin to be uploaded to the exchange. I think it may be in the main menu?? And they will retain their relationships, I believe. This way we could have all the Scumthorpes in the same town without having to use any cheats.)
#1144 Old 1st Aug 2012 at 4:27 PM
I agree with Chreai I love your posts about your 'adorable' family. I would add them to my game but I don't think my local health authority can afford to employ the kind of Special Doctor one would need to deal with the emotional fallout the Scumthorpes would drag in their wake

edited to add that I think there is a touch of the Jack Nicholson about Sid ...
#1145 Old 2nd Aug 2012 at 12:46 AM
MinghamSmith, love your family as well. I'm starting to think we need a special thread or a blog just to enjoy what goes on with the Scumthorpes.
Top Secret Researcher
#1146 Old 2nd Aug 2012 at 12:31 PM Last edited by MinghamSmith : 6th Aug 2012 at 12:07 AM.
Originally Posted by Spiritbw
MinghamSmith, love your family as well. I'm starting to think we need a special thread or a blog just to enjoy what goes on with the Scumthorpes.

I'll see what I can do about that. I certainly don't want to hijack this thread with nothing but Scumthorpe chat, it's just that they happen to be the source of most of the best comedy moments in my game. Not all of them, though. Which is why this post is dedicated to some of the baffling moments in my town that the Scumthorpes had nothing to do with:

Another thing that's more or less ubiquitous in my town is a team of identical aliens I made in response to the lack of official ones by EA, which should probably get a day in the spotlight in case the rumours of Seasons featuring official aliens are true (edit: they are) and I have to replace them all. There are 8 in total, they live in an underground base beneath a house they've named the Hugh Mann Place of Residence and you'll almost certainly find at least one on every community lot no matter where you go or what time it is. Sometimes way more than that:


They seem especially fond of the local karaoke bar for some reason:

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touchdown brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home
Oh no, no, no
I'm a rocket man...

Because I'm often the sort of person who responds to arbitrary limitations in sandbox games by stubbornly trying to achieve whatever I'm not supposed to do anyway and was very fond of Sims 2 aliens, I also used Master Controller to impregnate a man with one of their little green hybrid spawn. The result?

Well, have you ever tried to picture the look on the face of a man who's only just realised that he's gone into rectal labour?

Because apparently it looks like this.

I tried this a few more times. It worked brilliantly up until all the human families involved started autonomously ditching their alien babies in obscure locations and making a run for it. Here's one someone left in a bush in the park:

Fortunately, he seemed to take parental abandonment in his stride and then cheerfully expressed a wish to join the Ghostbusters. I guess I'm happy for him, but I must admit to also being deeply, deeply confused.

But the biggest WTF moment caused by my custom-made aliens will always be the following image, which is still the greatest coincidental not-what-it-looks-like screenshot I've ever encountered in a videogame. I paused the game, panned the camera across the map, and against all odds blundered into THIS scene:

#1147 Old 2nd Aug 2012 at 3:25 PM

Unfortunately, he wouldn't make me waffles.
Top Secret Researcher
#1148 Old 2nd Aug 2012 at 3:41 PM
Originally Posted by StardustX

Unfortunately, he wouldn't make me waffles.

Aw, no kitty waffles.

But seriously, that's priceless.

Overall, I think both our towns, and by extension those of everyone else in this thread, are all perfectly summarised by this cat:

Field Researcher
#1149 Old 3rd Aug 2012 at 8:46 AM
One of the starter homes in Appaloosa Plains is so cramped!
Lab Assistant
#1150 Old 3rd Aug 2012 at 3:06 PM
Ok, so I threw a wedding party and I invited lots of Sims. When they all left, seems this moron wouldn't stop clapping at the wedding cake. I had to enable testingcheats and delete her.
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