This was inspired by my friend Katie, and I'm thinking of adding it to the school magazine. Critique's are welcome

The temporary title is "Branded by Spontaneity."

Whimsical; this word, not so often used by society, is one that could easily describe me. This said word derives from the root ‘whim,’ which is defined as capricious, or a sudden change of mind. It is possibly one of the only words that could fully encompass my personality. Since my life is packed with so many intriguing and wonderful people and activities, it amazes me that such a word exists.
The whole spectrum of my life began as a light arose from the darkness one March evening. It brought a ray of sunlight cascading down to the earth from the source of a sky that seemed like a black abyss. This light was called Adrienne, and it was good… until one day it had to start making decisions on its own.
Adrienne embarked on her whimsical journey at the start of middle school. It was here that she was first introduced to people whom she thought to be outlandish. This only reigned until she finally became acquainted with them. From then on, she found them to be the most intriguing people she had ever met. She fell in love with their individuality and confidence, for they knew exactly who they were, and they gained strength from this. Henceforth, she vowed to always break the mold of normality and thus began to make choices for herself.
These choices were not inauspicious; however, they were indubitably sporadic. This brought on the eccentricity of Adrienne. Adrienne evolved into an indecisive, skeptical, spontaneous, and exceptionally random being. And so, society judged her in many different ways. Some thought her to be creative, others rebellious, and some even considered her insane, but Adrienne never quit. She couldn’t possibly have stopped. She was caught up in it all, like a carousel that spins and never ceases, or a chronic disease. It is almost impossible for one to rid themselves of what has been inscribed onto their identity.
She wound up in the same situation as Hester Prynne of The Scarlet Letter. Hester committed a crime of her time and was forced to wear a scarlet letter “A” on her bosom at all times forevermore. The letter marked her crime just as Adrienne’s whimsical personality branded her identity. Even after Hester escaped from her unfortunate demise and fled from the town she resided in for so long, she eventually returned and continued to wear the scarlet letter. This reveals that no matter how much she may have frequently dreamt of destroying the letter, she retreated back to it, for it eventually became a substantial part of her through the years. Today, Adrienne is still whimsical and she forever will be, without regards to what society may say.
Being whimsical is who I am and nobody can ever distort that. My scarlet letter is a ‘W’ and I wear it proudly.

This is good, but it strikes me as a bit overly... self-assured, for lack of a better word. Referring to yourself as a ray of sunshine is a bit audacious, and the comparison of Hester Prynne's adultery to your whimsical nature seems a bit far-fetched. I understand what you're attempting to convey and it's a nice idea, but to me, this piece just feels awkward and overdramatic.

Because I wanted it to be different. I didn't want this just to be another "This is my letter, this is what it stands for, this is how it affects me," boring, generic essay. I wanted to do something whimsical. It reflect upon who I am and I wanted to show my teacher that. You really don't realize how much I want that woman to like me. She's one of my biggest heros so to gain respect from her would be the best thing ever. That is why I switched perspectives. But I don't really see how it can be awkward, a bit overdramatic maybe but awkward I'd have to disagree.

Please don't think that I'm attacking you here; I'm just attempting to clarify.

Is this a prompt response assigned in reference to The Scarlet Letter? I know from experience that it's always difficult to identify flaws in one's own work, so perhaps awkward is a term that doesn't sufficiently illuminate my point. What I'm trying to say is that it feels stretched; in attempting to be whimsical to illustrate your whimsical existence, it appears to me as somewhat cheap and forced. That's not to say it's a bad essay, because I'm not aware of the required criteria. It's incredibly hard to describe oneself in third person without the narrator emerging as too biased or self-assured, and in this case, I think that's the problem.

One nitpick- don't switch to first person at the end. Pick one and stick to it; changing perspective is a cardinal sin of essay writing.

I don't think your attacking me at all! A lot of people just agree that it's good instead of actually critiquing it. The prompt really has nothing to do with The Scarlet Letter, I just thought it would help add detail :hmm: But thanks, your critique's seem similar to what my sister told me. But aside from that what do you think of the title? Does it sound interesting, boring, and does it fit the essay? I fail when it comes to titles.

hmm, these are right off the top of my head:

An Individual's Change
A Whimsical Journey

omg, how weird is that- you posted that exactly 24 hours after the post above it,
and i like An Individual's Change better. :]

Yeah I think I do too, thanks