Freakin' zombies, man.

In the families where I wouldn't be against the entire town turning into flesh eating monsters every full moon, they don't do anything. They go up to a sim, the sim doesn't take it seriously or screams the zombie into confusion. This continues till morning and my town of oblivious idiots remain...well, oblivious. C'mon, zombies...stop sucking.

Oh, except the one game where I want everything to be normal. THAT one has had several sims turn. Cruel twist of fate.

how about your own dog giving you a stonehedge circle?
Or a stray cat giving my sim a radio?
animals, where do you find these things??

And now, another Scumthorpe post. Apologies if there haven't been many lately, the last month's been a busy one due to finishing university essays, sorting and categorising a collection of early nineteenth-century letters for a local archive and starting a new semester. But now I'm back with yet another case of the game's AI abruptly becoming downright unsettling for no apparent reason. Much like the infamous Tuesday Sears baby-snatching incident from a few months back, I had nothing to do with this at all. This just happened, because my game is completely insane and apparently hates me.

So without further ado...

Parental Negligence and the Playground Lurker: I Couldn't Make This Up If I Tried

Last night, things were proceeding as usual for the majority of the Scumthorpe family. Carrie played with her Imaginary Friend (and only friend) Throatslasher, Rick looked after Crypto the alien baby, Larry spent the evening unsuccessfully trying to figure out how to get rid of his embarassing extraterrestrial grandchild and Sprog continued to burn things and somehow managed to acquire a hatchet.

While watching this perfectly normal scene of domestic life, however, a recurring question kept nagging at me:

Where's Lolita?

I looked around for her. She wasn't in bed, or at a friend's house, or playing with leaf piles in the back garden. Time marched on, the full moon rose, midnight approached, and still she remained missing. I began to worry a little.

And then I found her playing in a sandpit. In a children's play area by the school. In the middle of the night. Alone. With the temperature at around zero degrees Celsius. Without outerwear. During a severe thunderstorm AND a full moon, in a world where full moons inevitably lead to temporary zombie plagues and certain sections of the population becoming incredibly hairy and flying into psychotic rages.


Lolita Scumthorpe, incidentally, is probably around 6 or 7.

QUALITY PARENTING


Yes, yes, that's a lovely sandcastle but WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE


...Apparently Lolita didn't have the faintest idea either.

But hang on, I thought, there's another thought bubble coming up. Maybe this'll explain what's going on here-


-You have got to be kidding me. Game, you did NOT just go there.

You did NOT just generate a creepy old man with no eyebrows who hangs around children's playgrounds late at night and have him come out in response to the unsupervised presence of the most unfortunately-named kid in the entire town. Oh, what's that? You did? WHAT THE HELL, GAME? What next, is Story Progression going to spit out the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and stick him in a high-level teaching job at the local school? Is some poor sim child's Imaginary Friend going to unexpectedly spawn as Chucky from Child's Play and murder their entire family? For the love of god, what is wrong with my town?


OH BRILLIANT NOW WHAT


And so one of the most questionable game-generated sims of all time emerged not from behind a bush as I initially expected, but from under the ground. Because my town apparently just wasn't bizarre or disturbing enough already, so the game decided to bury an undead creeper in a children's playground when I wasn't looking and wait for the right moment to spring him on me. As you do.

But hey, at least now we can get a better look at this creature, this Playground Lurker-


HELLO CHILDREN

oh god why did I take that screenshot why did I take that screenshot


I know she usually comes across as by far the most naive and ditzy of the Scumthorpe triplets, but when faced with this hideous decomposing mishmash of every children's storybook villain, every fantasy ghoul and every stranger danger PSA ever, Lolita made the unusually wise and logical decision of running like the wind. Perhaps she's not so dumb after all. Even if she does still believe that all babies are born from men's asses...


And thus the evening ended with a little girl wandering home alone in the pouring rain and the freezing cold, slamming the back door after her and fuming about how much her family sucks. For none of the adult members of the family had noticed her absence, or cared even one iota about her encounter with the deathless horror that sleeps beneath the earth within the grounds of a local elementary school. Such are the heartless ways of the Scumthorpe dynasty.

And the Playground Lurker?

He's still out there...

Yay! Scumthorpe stories!

MinghamSmith, we need a Scumthrorpe blog so I can stop only reading your posts in this thread XD

Well that does it. I'm taking the time to search the thread and compile all the posts into their own thread.

"Looks like the burglar got away. We'll get 'em next time!"

THEY'RE JUST STANDING AROUND IN THE NEXT ROOM SETTING OFF THE ALARM OH MY GOD HELP ME SOMEBODY SHOOT THEM.

Except I didn't need a weapon, I'm playing a family of vampires. Do your freakin' vampire thing and snap off their thief's and have a blood orgy or whatever they do in Twilight.

What are they gonna do, sparkle at 'em?

Well, at the very least I could then turn off the lights and put on some funk and have myself a disco whilst I wait for the game to stop glitching out and have the damn robber finally leave.

I just got done playing TS3 and after leaving Lola Belle's party in Bridgeport, my self sim attempts to swim from her side of town to his when I click on him to go home.

That's right, he wanted to take an agonizingly long swim across a huge river instead of driving in his fast car to his place.

Hey, EA , I think the 'Play Tag' interaction may need a little work yet. (Still basegame only after two years. I'm waiting until they get it fixed before I get any expansions)

They say the Sims is a "God game" so it only makes sense for your Sims to be Jesus...

Yep one of my Sims did this when she had to go clear out some ghosties from someone's house.

No Cadana you are not a whale get onto land ffs.

After preventing a burglary, a zombie attack and alien abduction this sim decided to do her homework.

I was about to cancel the action but she got into a taxi. Curious to see where she was going to do her homework. The alien had dropped her off outside her house soo...

She took a taxi to the middle of nowhere. Obviously really wanted some peace and quiet after the eventful night.



Also putting the alarm on the outside of the house really does work to catch the burglar.

And once again my Master Thief gets a call from the police station wanting him to give them some martial arts training...

Is this why they keep losing the fight when they come to arrest the burglars?

Probably.
My police officer gets phone calls asking her to train the police force in martial arts. Why phone her? Why don't they just force her while she's at work? It's her boss that rings her anyway...

Hi I'm having some trouble...I've noticed that when I throw a party....nothing happens, no notice letting me know that the party is going to begin and nobody shows up....also I'm the only person that shows up to other people's parties as well.....really need some help here.

I have most of the nraas mods installed but I don't know which one is the problem or which setting to change.....I would really like to solve this without having to take everything off and start over.....any advice?

When you throw the party, do you invite guests? Do you set the time you want the party to start, and then prepare the house for the party (turn on a radio, put out some peanuts)?

As far as you're being the only one showing up to other sim's parties, that is, unfortunately, pretty common. Sometimes, it's even preferable to those where others do show up. However, when your active sim throws a party, at least a few people show up around the time you selected.

When you finish the party selection box (type of party, dress code, time, guests selected) do you get a little confirmation that actually says "Your party will start at X O'Clock"?

No I don't get any confirmation...I just pick the type of party, time and dress code and then nothing happens...no one shows up at all and no notifications.

OK. This is important to help identify your problem. You state you pick the type of party, time and dress code. Do you pick the guests as well? And, never mind notification at the time the party is tentatively scheduled for, do you get a notice, right after you click the final check on the party setup screen, that says "Your party will begin at X O'Clock"?

Have you gone through the steps in the Game Problem FAQ? http://www.modthesims.info/wiki.php..._3_Game_Problem

This does sound like an actual game problem.

I make all of the needed selections...type of party, time, guests, attire....and then I get absolutely no confirmation at all....there is no confirmation or notice of any kind after I set up the invitation.

Then you should follow the outline ghost linked to above. It's probably a mod conflict or an out of date mod that's preventing the party from registering.

MinghamSmith, Your posts are hilarious. You really should consider starting a blog.

XD She's going for the paper boy.




And this, no explanation needed.