My stupid sim made the breakfast. He went to the outdoor-barbaque table instead of the *nearly* indoor table. Now I'm thinking how to revenge.

Oh god. I had to stop and walk away for a while at "WHO LEFT ALL THESE BABIES LYING AROUND." I was pretty sure laughter was endangering my respiratory system.

Also, I'm now going to make sure every pregnant sim's household in all of my saves has a fully-stocked bar.

^This made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself. Your storytelling skills are beyond words!


On a more on-topic note: I sent my Sim to the Chinese market today, queued up for her to buy some items from the relic merchant. She walks over to the register....and that's it. Stands there for about a Sim-hour just staring at the clerk silently. I'm just like, "uhhh, so are you going to talk to the guy?? Can't shop if ya don't say somethin', chick!" Eventually, I got fed up and just saved and quit, as I had to go to work anyway. Probably will have to requeue when I start my game up again.

EDIT: So I figured out what the problem was. The clerk was "stuck". Had to reset him. Fortunately, he arrived shortly at the market again so I could finally shop.

I was fooling around with the Assination Mod again and made a Sim murder a guess in front of her unfortunate house-mate. The thing is, it was the traumatized witness who got the Assasination Skill, instead of the killer who got arrested a few seconds later.

I'm afraid I have you beaten there again: I once had Larry Scumthorpe temporarily lose his mind and start taking pot-shots at the paparazzi with a 9mm pistol (which is probably the only genuinely laudable thing he's ever done) and then saw the assassination mod blame a 1-year-old Sprog who hadn't yet learned to walk for their deaths instead.

...Actually, wait, that's not really much of a WTF moment. For Sprog, being a suspect in multiple homicide cases as a crawling baby is perfectly in character.

My newest baby is in a new town that isnt well populated yet and yet there are already Paparazzi, who seem to be his only freind, but ummm his mommy is Lisa Bunch Pyrolette and ummm she had a blond child. All the others are dark haired. Shortly after the baby aged up to child with a blond pageboyish cut, his mommy had a scandal message with a townie that I didnt know she knew, that looks like the boys daddy ...... ewwwww. I wanted lil Michaels. WTF

Why does he make me think he's the demon of bacon?

Sim's Mind: OK, someone in my house is upgrading the sink in the kitchen. I have a load of dishes I want to wash. I could cancel out the action or wash the dishes in another sink. But no, I think I'll just stand here for a few hours and wait -- even though it's being cancelled from my queue. I'll just wait and stand holding all these plates -- all night if I have to.

Later that day: OMG I really have to pee! ACK! My brother is blocking the door on his way out of the bathroom! Oh NO! That's OK, I'll go play with the toy box. Sure it will take him only a second to get out of the doorway, but I have IMPORTANT THINGS to do. Oh no! I peed my pants! How did this happen?!

The sim brother WANTED the other to pee its pants so it could point and laugh so he blocked the door and knowing that other sims have the attention span of a flea waited for a second and then forgot his evil. The playing sim forgot her need to pee. They both had an increase in fun level. Sims aare EVIL!

My Sim's boss came to visit. He went and picked up one of their baby girls. When he left, it appeared he was taking the baby with him. Instead, he lays the baby down in the lobby of their apartment building, then leaves.

Haha. Blame the PlumbBob. It's what identifies the culprit, and the assassination skill will stupidly pin down the blame to whoever the trollBob is pointing at, regardless of their actual involvement in the murder.

On a side note, I seem to have a Sim who is a complete opposite to the Scumthorpes in terms of their reaction to events. He keeps on getting the"Witness Betrayal" and "Mourning" moodlets even when the bad things he witnessed is happening to his enemies. Makes me wanna scream "THEY ARE NOT YOUR LOVED ONES, YOU DOLT!"

One of my sims started giving birth. So her wife (thanks to Twallans Woohooer I can combine genes of chicks lol) got the "Take to hospital" action. Few seconds later I've noticed that preggy lass went to hospital alone and her wife was still laying on the bed, so I tried to tell her to get up. Nothing. Go there. Nothing. Do that. Nothing.

Thats why:



Her cat blocked her with FEATHER. OMG I can't get up there's FEATHER on my way, aaaa, it's blocking my way, oh no, I have to stay on the bed, wifey will be fine without me for sure with her first child. Please move that!

I wonder if it would kill her if I wouldn't move that damn thing.

You would be surprised at how many times this has happened to me.

They love that picnic table. I think there must be some secret abnormally high attraction level or fun factor to it, because if you own a picnic table they will literally default to it EVERY TIME.

Why not? It's a really nice day for a picnic. For some reason, it's always a really nice day for a picnic.

Wait until Seasons.

Even with hail it will be nice weather for a picnic.

I had this Sim with two vehicles in her inventory (what) - which includes a 'default' motorbike and a car she got as a career reward. So I wanted to check out how fast this shiny new car is, but wasn't too eager to set it as the default vehicle. So while she was at a community lot after performing some job, I decided to try the car by selecting the 'go home' option from the inventory. What the Sim did was run all the way home, reach her front porch, take out the car, and only then did she attempt to drive home.

You just made my day. After a week from 'ell and another about to begin.

This was the funniest thing that I read. you are great story teller. You really should think about doing your own story.

This is a day (well, more like half a day) in the life of Chiquita Geiger (her name was randomly generated and I thought, "?! Sure, what the heck." lol. Hey, at least her last name isn't Banana!):

Get up. Make breakfast. Kitchen starts on fire. "Omg, FIRE!!!" Fire dance! Stop fire dance. "Aw, man! I'm hungry!" "Oh yeah, my kitchen's on fire. OMG, FIRE!!" Resume fire dance. Neighbor Iris Adams comes running in, joins in fire dance. (Where the heck did she come from??) Whole fire department shows up to put out fire, simultaneously praising my sim for supposedly putting out the fire herself and scolding her for starting it in the first place. Fire's out. Random neighbor Laurita Pepper is spotted running into the backyard and being chased by a fireman. Firemen leave. Laurita moves to the front porch and complains about not being able to get inside the house. Repeatedly. Finally goes back home. Chiquita makes pancakes. On her way to the table to eat them, her cell phone rings. It's her friend Marlene. Chiquita sets her plate on the floor, instead of on the nearby table. "Aw, man...I'M HUNGRY!!" "Ok, I'll talk to Marlene." Answers phone. Listens for five minutes. Hangs up. Forgets she made pancakes, goes to the kitchen to make waffles.

I'll stop there. But, really, practically her whole day was like this. I think the only way it could have gotten more ridiculous is if a meteor had crashed and killed everyone.

A stray cat shows up Brandee's front porch. She has a lifetime wish to adopt a bunch of strays, so I send Brandee out to go play with the darling little kitty. I'm fairly new with the Pets expansion, so I'm trying to figure out how long it'll take before the stray cat will become friends with me.

All of a sudden, the cat cancels Brandee's interactions to have fun with it and turns to leave. I'm like, "What the heck?" so I try to click on the cat. It tells me, "Stray cat is going home."

Uh...what? Stray cats don't HAVE a home. That's why they're STRAYS.

That's like talking to a hobo off the street and suddenly he leaves and the game tells you, "Homeless Man is going home."

Next time that happens, I'm going to follow that freaking cat, and if it ends up having an actual home, that little liar will never be allowed to beg on my front porch again.

And now, time for some more recent pictures of the Scumthorpe triplets.


First up, an experiment: Since everyone seemed quite interested in how Sprog's weird genetics would ultimately pan out a couple of pages back, I decided to repeat the same process with Lolita Scumthorpe, going into CAS with her and then briefly switching to Young Adult to see what would happen.

Apparently, future Lolita will look like this:


...Ok, I think we all have a serious question for Larry Scumthorpe now:

How the hell do you keep fathering pretty daughters?

You look like someone accidentally spliced Basil Fawlty and Snidely Whiplash together in a David Cronenberg-esque teleportation disaster, and yet you somehow managed to produce THAT? My god, Scumthorpe genetics make about as much sense as Scumthorpe behaviour.

And by that, of course, I mean NONE! NONE WHATSOEVER!

Unfortunately, Larry's bizarrely good genes aren't always enough to counteract the effects of severe Tiberium poisoning and hereditary insanity. Lester, of course, is still a total genetic catastrophe:


JESUS CHRIST

IT'S LIKE ONE OF THE OTTOMAS TWINS WENT ON A HUNGER STRIKE


And here I'm honestly kind of disturbed. This is Uncanny Valley levels of wrong.

But then again, maybe it's just his weird facial expressions that make him look like a failed attempt at genetically engineering a half-alien overlord to rule over mankind. Maybe if he'd just smile and giggle and coo like a regular baby he'd stop being so profoundly offputting-


-Ok, scratch that. Lester, stop smiling. Please, please stop smiling. In fact, never smile again as long as you live. It's often said that smiles make any human face look more appealing. Your very existence proves otherwise.

However, despite appearing so grossly dissimilar to one another that they barely even look like members of the same species, Lester and Lolita nonetheless seem to have the only genuinely positive relationship in the entire family. In a household where everyone else either wants to murder each other, has already done so or happens to be an omnicidal maniac, these two happily play together and chat about anything their limited vocabularies allow them to whenever Sprog isn't trying to use one of them as his personal punching bag.

It's almost sweet, in an incredibly dysfunctional kind of way.



Unfortunately, they also seem to share bad habits as well as toys:


WHY ARE ALL MY BABIES ALCOHOLICS

Of course, even Tiberium-addled crazy babies need to be cared for to some degree, and since the presence of Larry Scumthorpe is about as beneficial to the well-being of small children as the OMGWTFBBQ the job of feeding and changing them usually falls to Rick Scumthorpe. However, whether this state of affairs can continue for much longer is highly uncertain, because doing so is increasingly starting to drive him mad.


Especially when Lester is involved.

You can certainly see where Rick's coming from. Since both his brothers moved away and severed all contact with the rest of the family, he's had to spend most of his twenties as the only person bothering to clean up after a succession of increasingly deranged and creepy babies that his father openly admits are attempts to produce a better male heir to the family fortune than himself. He's now nothing but a failed heir, set aside and most likely written out of his father's will in favour of a sickly little toddler who may not even have reached the age of majority by the time Larry dies.

And he knows it.

One day, he apparently decided that he'd finally had enough.


"Oh, you're going on a stroll alright, Lester. A ONE-WAY STROLL TO THE GATES OF HELL!"


But, you think, this has to be a misleading screenshot. Surely I'm just implying the stroller is rolling towards something dangerous when it's actually in a field-


-Nope!

Of course, since you can't actually push your 1-year-old Gollum-esque mutant half-brother down a steep hill to his almost certain death in this game, Lester survived, and will therefore continue to be a constant source of discomfort and inconvenience to everyone around him for the next several decades.


"...I hate you, Lester. So very, very much."

----------------------------------------------------------------

And now, a preview of things to come in my town. Because due to the impending release of Supernatural, the next month will inevitably be a time of great upheaval for SimNation. How could it not be when within a matter of weeks the existence of magic will become public knowledge, the dead will begin to walk the earth and fairies and werewolves will be discovered in Moonlight Falls? Sure, sim society will most likely manage to adapt to all this, just as it did upon first contact with all its existing occult minorities. But the fact remains that for many sims, life will never be the same again.

And so, as magic begins to re-enter the public eye, a mysterious, mystical new member of the Scumthorpe dynasty prepares to reveal himself to the world:


Let the speculation as to his nature begin...

MinghamSmith, do you have this story written down somewhere, and if you do, can I get a link to it? I am thoroughly entertained and I'd love to see more of it!

@MinghamSmith: You almost convince me to start finding a cure for my babyllergy and start playing generations/legacy instead of disabling the aging. Almost
Regardless, I am now curious how Carrie and Lester would look like once adult. Seeing Lester, he'd probably become some sort of nightmare fuel (as if he isn't already).

@MinghamSmith--OMG, you're funny! More, more, give us more!