#1185
13th Aug 2012 at 1:33 PM
Last edited by MinghamSmith : 13th Aug 2012 at
3:02 PM.
To keep things from getting too Scumthorpe-centred, allow me to introduce another recurring comedic figure in my town.
Ever looked at the pink/red skintone slider and wondered what you're meant to do with it? I suppose there are many ways to utilize it depending on what you want out of the game. I know, for instance, that it'll probably be used for some fairies in Supernatural, and that a lot of people have already used it to make what I've seen referred to as Berry Sweet sims.
Being a rather more cynical person with a seemingly-inherent predisposition towards black humour, however, I made this instead:
Meet Malphas the Eternal. He lives in an abandoned concrete bunker on the outskirts of town, has a name nicked from Collin de Plancy's
Dictionnaire Infernal and yet still somehow manages to be both the local Casanova and the sim with the highest celebrity rank in the area. No accounting for taste, I guess.
4-STAR CELEBRITY RATING, PATHETIC MORTALS! COUNT THEM! COUNT MY STARS!
On most days, you can usually find him strutting around town boasting, starting fires and hitting on anything without a Y chromosome. Occasionally, though, he does let his sensitive side show through all the swagger and hellfire:
JUST BECAUSE I COME FROM THE NINTH CIRCLE OF HELL DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T CRY AT WEDDINGS
EVEN IF I DO SPEND HALF THE TIME STARING AT THE BRIDE'S ASS
...Ok, maybe not.
So you may be wondering, with all these bizarre inhuman entities running around my version of Sunset Valley even before the release of Supernatural, what happened to all the EA premades?
Uh, yeah, about that...
Let's take Lisa Bunch as a case study. Like many unfortunate sims in the aftermath of Late Night being released, Lisa Bunch was arbitrarily converted into a vampire by story progression despite being part of an extended Brady Bunch parody and therefore probably the least vampiric person in existence. She then ran across the aforementioned demonic counterpart to Don Lothario, had a one-night stand and was apparently somewhat careless about it.
Because three days later, this happened.
Immediately afterwards, though, I discovered that the rapidly-declining needs of pregnant sims
do not mix well with vampirism. At all.
Why? Well, in the space of about 5 seconds after giving birth she lost control of her bladder, hit 0 Thirst and instantly crumbled to dust...
...leaving a bemused half-demon newborn stranded in a puddle of his own dead mother's ashes and wee.
And so
Lucifer Bunch, aka
Doombaby came into the world.
Aww, what a cute little hellspawn! Look how much he takes after his dad!
Of course, Doombaby wasn't an isolated incident. At least four more red, imp-like half-demon toddlers have appeared in Sunset Valley since, three of them being a set of triplets born to an already-married woman with a human husband who dislikes children. One can't help but be concerned for the future of the local genepool- due to a combination of this and my stubborn insistence on including alien babies several months prior to the release of Seasons, the town's human birthrate has almost totally collapsed and been overtaken about four times by the number of inhuman/mutant births.
When the only human babies born in recent memory were all Scumthorpes. you
know your community is doomed.